Read Gilbert and Louis Rule the Universe: First Impressions Online
Authors: Rebecca Heller
“Gilbert, are you…” I start to ask, but she holds up her hand for me to stop.
“
Gilb
.”
I go in to hug her. She gets up quickly before I can get to her.
“I think I am going to go home,” she says quickly.
I don’t know what to do.
Should I stop her?
“Are you sure?” I ask and spring up from the ground as well.
“Yeah,”
Gilbert says, and heads off towards her house.
The world is turning upside-down.
Riley is with Winston, Rowan is with Jimmy, and Gilbert just got
dissed
by Dylan.
I stand in my driveway not sure what I should do.
* *
*
The next couple of days are total dullsville.
Gilbert is too depressed to hang out.
Rowan and Jimmy are hanging out and apparently so are Riley and Winston, although I still haven’t spoken to her since she left my house the day after Christmas.
My social life is totally sucking.
To make matters worse, the
Deutchmans
' New Year’s party is tonight.
My mom insists I go since she wants to be there wearing her new black dress that shows off her Pilates curves.
Oh, brother.
Today’s horoscope: The best defense is a good offense.
I pull on my black fuzzy sweater and a pair of black pants.
My mom is already hollering at me from downstairs to hurry up.
I still can’t believe she is making me go the
Deutchmans
', and what I really can’t believe is that I didn’t have anything better to do.
Gilbert has decided to stay home (she is still heartbroken) and the only ones I will know at the party are Ralph (
ew
) and Kate, who has apparently invited the Fabulous Five.
We walk up the street to their house.
They set up
luminarias
, there are white Christmas lights in all the trees, and huge plastic candy canes decorate the lawn.
At our house there is a wreath we bought at the grocery store on the door.
As we approach, the front door opens and I can see Kate standing around with Emma, Chloe, Sophie, Hannah, and Olivia.
Oh, boy.
I follow my mom into the house.
Mrs.
Deutchman
is there to greet us.
My mom brought a house warming gift of a small funky cactus which looks totally out of place in their
exie
home.
My mom begins to go on and on about how grateful we are to be invited.
Mrs.
Deutchman
looks uncomfortable and tries to change the subject.
“And you must be Leah,” she says looking at me.
“Ralph and Kate have told me so much about you.”
I smile politely but am thinking this lady is full of it.
I can’t imagine she knows who the heck I am.
“Oh, I think I hear someone calling me from the kitchen.
The caterer is totally useless.
Enjoy the party,” she says and bee-lines it for the kitchen.
Funny, I didn’t hear anything.
My mom wanders off to mingle with other adults and I walk over to the
Fab
Five.
They all have on their designer gear, clothes I had been admiring on the pages of magazines for the past couple of months.
All of them have some fancy
bling
in their ears and on their wrists they have matching charm bracelets.
“Cute,”
I say, motioning to the bracelets.
“Aren’t they?
We got them for each other for Christmas,” Emma says.
I noticed even Kate has one.
I guess they were going to go by Super Six from now on.
“How was Vail?” I ask.
“Oh my God, it was so great…” “The snow was beautiful…”
“The chair lift guys were so hot…” They all started talking at the same time; I am not really listening to their answer, just
nodding my head and looking around the house.
It is really nice; they have done a lot since the Baileys lived in it.
We are standing on a plush white carpet that doesn’t even have any stains on it and they have a huge flat screen TV on one wall surrounded by fancy books and beautiful vases that looked like they would break if you just brushed up against the shelves.
It’s kind of amazing to think that kids live here.
The massive fireplace is going and I can see out the French doors the pool all lit up with floating candles.
The girls are still talking.
I pick up something about Chloe thinking she looked fat in her snowboard pants, but, really, who cares.
They are all tolerating me alright, but I feel like a square peg.
I am looking around the room ready to make a break for it.
I see Ralph and Jason in the corner sipping on punch.
It is the worse of two evils.
I decide to hang with the girls.
Kate’s mom calls her and as soon as she walks away the rest of the girls immediately began to talk about the boys.
“No, you go over and talk to him,” Emma is saying to Olivia.
“No way, you,” Olivia responds.
“Fine,”
Emma says as we all watch her walk over to where Ralph and Jason are standing.
She stands there talking to them for like a minute and then heads back to our group.
“Oh my God, he is so cute!”
Emma exclaims.
You can I have him, I think.
The girls all giggled like a flock of birds.
I have to get out of here.
My mom is in the corner flirting with some guy so I walk into the kitchen to find Kate.
“Can I help you at all?”
I ask.
I need to keep busy if I am going to make it to midnight.
“Sure, thanks.
One of the caterers called in sick so my mom is totally freaking out.”
Kate hands me a tray of caviar and asks me to put it on the dining room table.
“It’s
Beluga
,” she says, like I have a clue what she is talking about.
I run that errand and go back into the kitchen for more.
The
Deutchman
mother and daughter keep me busy cutting veggies and putting ice into pitchers.
At least the time is flying by.
“Leah, would you be a doll and run into the pantry to get some more crackers?”
Mrs.
Deutchman
asks.
Their pantry is more like a huge walk in closet.
I scan the shelves for crackers.
During my search, I feel someone walk in behind me.
I turn and there is Ralph.
“I was looking all over for you,” Ralph says.
“Why?”
I ask.
Ralph stands silently, shifting his weight from one foot to the other.
“Where’s your friend, Alex?” Ralph finally asks.
“Why do you care?”
I ask.
“Because you two are always together.”
“Well she is my BFF.”
“BFF?”
he asks like he didn’t know what it meant.
Can he really be this stupid?
Well, he does go to boarding school.
“Best Friends Forever.”
I say and Ralph laughs out loud.
I decide to tell him.
“She was too depressed to come.”
“Too depressed about what?”
“Like you don’t know,” I say.
“No, I don’t know,” Ralph says with an
arrogant
laugh.
Boy, this guy gets on my nerves.
We stand around in awkward silence.
Where are those damn crackers?
And why is my face flush
ing
just being close to this jerk?
“Seems like the Fabulous Five has their eye on you,”
I tease him.
“Yeah, I guess so.
I’m not really into seventh graders,“ Ralph says.
“Like you are so much older. When’s your birthday?” I ask.
“I turn 15 in September.”
“Well I turn 14 in April, so we are less than a year apart.” I am proud of myself for doing the math that fast.
“I just meant those girls are pretty silly.”
This guy is so conceited.
But he is right, they are pretty silly.
“So you agree they like you?”
I tease.
“That’s not what I said.
Girls just make it pretty obvious when they like a guy.
That’s all I meant.”
“So
you think
girls don’t know how to talk to guys without making
it clear
that
we are in love with them?”
I tease him.
“No, I know of one
girl in particular who makes sure I know
she doesn’t like me at all.” Ralph says and hands me the box of crackers off of the shelf (damn, why hadn’t I seen them?) and turns and walks out of the panty.
I stand there for a minute with the crackers in hand, breathing a little heavy.
I bring the crackers out to Kate and her mother then go to find my mom.
“Mom.”
“Oh there you are, honey, do you know Mr. Trapp?” she says.
She is standing very close to some man with a receding hairline and bad shoes.
The both look like they have drunk a little too much eggnog.
“Mom, my stomach hurts.
I think I am going to go home.”
“Oh, I am sorry, baby.” Boy she is really putting it on for this guy.
Normally she would just tell me to suck it up.
“Do you want me to go home with you?”
I know there is no way she would.