Girl Z: My Life As A Teenage Zombie (11 page)

Food-eat-so hungry…

Things were moving too fast. I didn't have much time. I'd be lucky if I made it another half–hour.

Drool dripped from my lips and snaked down my chin.

My breath came in rapid gasps. I stomped around the room, shoving things out of my way, not caring how much noise I made at such an early hour.

Who cared what time it was? My thoughts narrowed and honed in. A platter filled with chicken, tamales, fruit, all kinds of yummy food, appeared in my mind.

Hungry! I had to eat! Food!

I flung open the door, grasped at the rail and heaved in and out, my gasps making me sound like some freaking steam engine. I'd thought of going downstairs and getting the food myself, but there was no guarantee I'd make it back upstairs.

The changes were coming—fast.

The images in my head took a nasty turn. Flashes of those
things
filled my mind. Their faces were vivid, red, biting…chewing… I grabbed my head and squeezed my temples.
Dios, por favor, make it stop!

It repulsed me, yet…my mouth watered.

I yelled, not caring what kind of monster I resembled, or how my aunt and cousin would feel being jolted awake in the middle of the night by some rabid, howling creature.

I couldn't think of them.

Hands on the rail, I jumped up and down. The hunger grew and loomed large in my mind. It raged; the roar of an ocean filled my ears. “CARM-CARM! I NEED FOOD NOW!”

A commotion downstairs grabbed my attention for a minute. I stared at my wide-eyed cousin who stood at the bottom of the stairs. Her face turned white as I glared in her direction.

“CARM! WHERE'S MY FOOD? GET IT NOW!” I barely focused on my aunt who quickly handed a platter over to Carm and stepped back out of sight. I tried to control the urge to rush down the stairs and yank the plate from her hand. I inched back and forth, jumping from one foot to the other as she slowly came up the stairs and stood there, platter in hand.

“Bec, here…”

She dropped the platter and screamed as I moved in closer.

I took two big steps, and then another, near enough to glare in her face. Her wide-eyed fear went ignored.

The need took over.
Hungry!

Carm shrieked when I grabbed her arm and stared at it, licking my lips, the urge to do the unthinkable overtaking me.

Lucky for her, a moment of lucidity broke through. I dropped her arm and jumped back with a snarl. Carm quickly picked up the platter, shoved it at me, and started to back down the stairs.

I glared at her, the hunger pulsing within. A growl in my throat, I thrust my head toward her, my voice deep and low as I threatened, “Run, you fool. RUN!”

The platter of raw food drew me like a moth seeking light. The sound of Carm's clattering down the stairs and my aunt's sobs in the background didn't faze me. I ran into my bedroom with the plate and threw the lock. Not even the sounds of feet pounding and furniture being moved in the hall outside my door kept me interested for more than a few seconds.

My last rational thought was to grab a couple old T-shirts to throw over the front of me. I slumped to the floor, pulled the platter closer, and sniffed.

I relished the raw, meaty scent. Every pore, every cell in my body, yearned and opened in response.

As the final pang kicked in, the hunger took over, wrapping everything around me in a blur. I bent and devoured the raw poultry.

I gulped down the slimy chunks, fighting the gag reflex as I continued to slurp and chew, the globs of fat encircling my mouth. I chewed, burped and licked my lips, not caring about anything, or anyone, except the here and now.

I had only one thing on my mind—stopping the raging, blinding hunger.

An hour later, I sat up and groaned. My body flopped around while I tried to get my bearings.

I was drunk on food, my head groggy. My disgust grew at sight of the slimy platter on the floor beside me. I tried to shake myself awake from my gorge-induced trance. My nose crinkled as I eyed the globs and bits of food clinging to my shirt.

Yuck, how revolting. I
so-so
hated this.

Would I have to do this over and over again, just like in the hospital?

I wondered if eating earlier, before the pangs kicked in, would change things? Maybe it would calm me and ward off my animal-like reactions. I figured out a six-times-a-day food schedule I hoped would work. If I kept my body fully fueled, I reasoned, maybe I wouldn't turn into a character straight from those late night “Creature Feature” movies.

A noise outside the door stopped my self-examination. “Carm? Is that you?”

More noise. My aunt would've talked to me or something by now, I figured. What was she doing just standing there quiet? “Carm, are you there? Don't worry, I'm okay.”

“B-Bec, are you done? Do you want something?”

Wiping my face, I pulled off the filthy shirt and slipped on a new tee before I went to the door. I opened it a couple inches and peeked through the crack. “Move this stuff, will you? I need to take a shower. Don't worry, it's over. I'm back to myself.”

Her hesitation made me feel awful. Sheesh. Even my BFF thought I was a freak.

“A-are you sure?”

I wasn't, not really, but the way Carm eyed me, I had to say something. “Honest. It's over, for now. I need to change and talk to my aunt. We need to get a tighter hold on this.”

The scream of wood sliding against the floor interrupted us as she shoved the dresser aside.

“Carm? How's my aunt?”

The other girl shrugged, even as she took a step back. “She's kind of upset. You shook her up pretty good.”

ARGHHH!
What an absolute jerk I was.

“Yeah, I know. Give her a hug for me, okay? I'll be down after I change.”

After I heard her go downstairs, I slipped into the bathroom, locked the door, and turned on the shower. The hot water felt fantastic on my cool, dry skin. I luxuriated in the soap suds, rinsing my hair, fretting as my hand came away with a few more strands. Crap. Was I losing my hair now, too? I bit back a sob. What else was going to happen?

As if in answer, a small spot on the side of my leg, the edges wrinkled, the center pinkish, made me pause. I examined it, the dread growing.

Oh, no. Did I have—? Yup. A sore.

Uh-oh. Bad news.

Horrible images of those ravaged things wandering outside, limbs hanging or missing, covered in ugly, ghastly sores, came to mind.

Por favor, Dios, no, por favor.
Anything but that.

The panic rose and threatened to choke me. Struggling to hold myself in check, I leaned my elbows against the front wall of the shower and let the warm water pour over me. My breath wheezed and came out in rapid gasps, making me sound as sick as I felt.

Breathe.

After several minutes, I got my emotions under control. I didn't want to think about what it might mean. No way. Not yet.

Getting out of the bathtub, I slathered myself with the special olive complexion toned moisturizer and added another layer of the custom-mixed foundation to my legs, arms, and face. My hair combed back and braided, I dabbed on a good-sized blob of antiseptic and stuck a bandage over the weird spot. Something I'd have to keep an eye on (and not the twirly one).

I shuffled down the stairs at a snail's pace, not wanting to scare Carm and my aunt, not wanting to see the fear in their eyes.

My aunt acted like nothing was wrong, though her fingers quivered a little as she pushed a small dish of chicken nuggets my way when I came in. Yum, my favorite snack. Extra slimy.

Ick.

My eyes got a little watery as I realized how I'd treated her and Carm. I began to sniffle. “
Tia,
I'm sorry I was so mean to you.”

To her credit, my aunt gave me a hug and kissed my cheek. “Honey,
sí,
it was a shock, but it'll get better. I realize maybe you should eat something before you go to bed, you know, head it off.”

The tea she offered felt good and warm in my hands. I sipped, enjoying the apple-cinnamon flavor, a nice taste change, as much as I could taste anyway. The cranberry was getting kind of boring. At least liquids didn't seem to upset my system, giving me some hope. “I didn't think I'd be up so early, but I barely slept. I-I don't think I need much sleep anymore.”

Her face drooped when she turned my way. “
Sí,
honey, I heard about that. The doctor had warned it might happen. Now eat a little more.”

I stuck a small piece in my mouth, chewed and swallowed, trying to keep my face turned aside as I ate. No need to gross everyone out.

“
Tia,
I think we should have my food early, in case I need it. I don't know what time I need to eat. Maybe I'll start earlier. Do we have a cooler or something I can use?”

A thoughtful expression came over her face before her eyes widened. “Ah, I think I do.”

She went to the pantry and came back carrying a small cooler about the size of a soda six-pack. “This is all I have. Will this work? We can buy a bigger one if you need it.”

“No, it's perfect. That should work. It'll hold enough to take me through the night.”

A line from the John Lennon song my mama played over and over when she was home,
Whatever Gets You Through the Night
, flashed in my mind. Great.

I grabbed an ice pack from the freezer, and tucked it into the cooler.
Tia
put in several plastic-wrapped trays of chicken nuggets and tenders, nice and slimy raw, just the way I liked them.
Mmm
.

“Perfect.
Gracias, Tia
.” I kissed her cheek and grabbed the cooler. “I'll take this upstairs and let you go back to sleep. Ignore me if I get noisy later on, but I don't think it'll happen again, all right?”

The way Carm slinked a few steps behind me drew my attention. She tried to act like nothing was wrong, but I couldn't miss the deer-in-the-headlights look on her face. Time to trade my chicken for crow. I paused and tried to put her at ease.

“Carm, I owe you an apology. Big time. I'm sorry I scared you.”

Her eyes round, she tried to make light of it. “It's okay, Bec. It's just, uh, I didn't expect you to stare at me, you know, like-like
that
.”

“You mean like your arm was a giant chicken wing?” I asked.

She blanched and pursed her lips. I almost expected her to run back down the steps.

“Hey cuz, I'm sorry. I really, really am. Forgive me,
por favor
? We still pals?” Relief flooded in when she finally agreed. “Okay, then let's forget it. I think I have a better idea of how to handle this. I don't think you need to barricade my door anymore. I have my emergency supplies.” I held up the cooler. “You better go to bed. See you in the morning?”

She wished me goodnight (I didn't think it would be) and dragged herself downstairs, her whole body signaling her dejection.

Feeling like a pariah, I went and locked myself in my room. Nothing to do, I sat on the bed and stared at the cooler as my stomach began to gurgle. I opened a package and snacked on a nugget. Grabbing another, I thought a steady binge could probably head off the super-monster munchies.

I chewed without thought, no longer totally repulsed. The gross factor almost disappeared with the nuggets.

Oh, ick! Did it mean I was getting used to this?

The physical stuff was easy compared to all this other emotional garbage I found myself facing. I pondered this latest event, something I'd never expected.

Wow.

I had to give Carm credit for standing by me, even when I'd scared her to death. If things were reversed, I don't know if I could put up with a friend like me.

The supply box at my feet, I sat on the edge of my bedroom window seat and took another count, satisfied we had at least a few hundred or more poison paintballs in my arsenal alone. I ignored the doubts swirling in the back of my mind—
what if they didn't work? What if all this was for nothing?

I moved on to my next morbid thought and tried not to think about how we'd use them. I mean, was it like killing my own kind? I felt strange, but I didn't see any connection. None. Zero.

I couldn't accept being like
them. I wasn't like them. No way!

My lack of sleep had been good for something, at least. Whenever I tired of staring at the walls or flipping TV channels, (when I wasn't smacking myself so my eye would bounce back, of course), I'd pull out the box, inject a few more paintballs and add to the growing pile. Actually once I'd kept myself sated with those chicken nuggets every hour or so, the crazed hunger pangs vanished, leaving me with plenty of time while I sat bored out of my skull.

My aunt's call forced me to push everything aside and head downstairs. On Sundays she liked to catch up on her cleaning, laundry, and baking for the week. She gave each of us chores, ignoring all our gripes and whines. My job was folding clothes, but I didn't mind too much since there was nothing else to do. After dinner, we watched some TV before Carm spent an hour picking out one outfit, changed it for another, and then another, for school tomorrow.

The plan, I was happy to hear as we sipped tea (mine cranberry with more protein stuff, of course), was simple. Now that I'd eaten, I would double my liquid protein until morning. If I felt all right, my aunt reluctantly agreed to take us both to school in the morning so she could check things out. She still didn't like the idea, but a new email from the principal made it clear everyone had to be there on the first day. They especially needed all part-Z students to check in so they could get counts for government funding, and see how the new class scheduling worked.

“If everything seems in order after I talk with your principal, I'll leave you to go to your classes and come get you after school,” my aunt added.