The bed shifted, and I felt Gage move closer to hug me again. I guess I shouldn’t have let him, but being held felt so good. After so long, I didn’t feel alone. “It’s okay, Nina. Let it out.”
Lifting my head to say thank you for him being so understanding, I looked up and time seemed to change into slow motion. Those dark blue eyes gazed down at me so full of concern that for a moment I felt like I should comfort him and let him know I’d be okay. Instead, I just stared up into his face and then it happened.
I didn’t know if he kissed me or I kissed him, but we kissed. I hadn’t been kissed in months, and for a split second I let myself enjoy the sensation of his soft lips on mine. It was the nicest, most innocent kiss I’d ever had, and instantly, I felt guiltier than ever before in my life.
When time resumed its normal motion, I abruptly pulled away and shook my head over and over. From behind my hand covering my guilty mouth, I mumbled, “I’m so sorry. I don’t know why I did that. That should have never happened.”
The expression on his face was a mixture of the guilt he shared with me and surprise, which made me believe I’d kissed him. Maybe I had. I didn’t know. It all just happened so unexpectedly.
“I better go. I’m just glad you feel better.”
He left without another word, and as I sat there with my hand still covering my mouth, all I knew was that I’d never felt so awful in my life.
Chapter Eight
Tristan
While I waited for Daryl to return, I took a look around the apartment he’d rented for me on the edge of the town closest to the house. He’d done a good job getting me as close as possible to Nina. On foot, I was probably only a few minutes away across a field that butted up against the property. All of three rooms and a bathroom, the apartment wasn’t even big enough to measure up to the rooms Nina stayed in when she’d first come to live with me, but I didn’t plan to stay here long.
I sat on the full sized bed that took up most of the space in the tiny, white bedroom and stared into the mirror across from me. I barely recognized myself. Months of exile had whittled away at my body so I was much leaner. Hair longer than I’d worn in years fell into my eyes, and my beard was practically as long and bushy as Daryl’s. Only my eyes still told others I was Tristan Stone, assuming anyone could see them through the hair.
It felt good to be back home, or at least close to home. Soon I’d find out what Karl was up to and finally get to return to Nina and our life together. Until then, I had to hope she’d understand what I had to do to safeguard that life.
A knock on the door told me Daryl was back, and I answered it to find him looking shell-shocked. He pushed past me and walked into the apartment’s narrow galley kitchen to rummage through the cabinets.
“I know I stored a bottle up here somewhere. You couldn’t have drank it all already, did you?”
I leaned against the doorframe and pointed toward the cabinet on the far end of the wall. “I didn’t have any yet, but I’m not sure how I feel about you drinking my Lagavulin. Get your own bottle.”
Daryl poured himself a glass neat, never asking me if I wanted one, and sagged against the Formica countertop as he gulped down my expensive scotch. “You owe me, buddy. After what I just went through, I deserve the entire bottle.”
Fear that something had happened to Nina raced through my body, settling into my heart. “What happened? Is Nina hurt?”
Downing another mouthful of scotch, he shook his head. “No. The only person injured is me.”
I looked him up and down and saw the same old Daryl. “What are you talking about? You look fine enough to drink all my scotch.”
He took the envelope I’d given him for Nina out of his coat pocket and threw it on the counter. “She went nuts when I tried to give her this. Told me she didn’t want your letter and that you can say what you want to say to her in person. And when I say told, I mean screamed her bloody head off.”
Nina had always loved my notes and letters. The fear that I was losing her had haunted me since I’d left and suddenly became very real. Picking up the envelope, I ran my fingers over her name, unsure of what I needed to do.
“That was after she literally balled me out. Her exact words were ‘You can tell my dear fiancé that he should be nervous. Maybe I’m sick of waiting for Tristan and living here all alone. Gage is right next door in the room next to me. He’s pretty good looking. Maybe I’m ready to move on, even though I know Tristan isn’t dead. Maybe you should tell Tristan all of that and see how he feels.’ And all of that was done screaming at me!”
“Did you tell her this is only for a short time?”
He mumbled, “Then she mentioned something about fucking her hot bodyguard before she slammed the door in my face.”
As he finished his drink and poured himself another glass, I began to spin out of control. I’d expected too much from her. Leaving her alone for months and believing that she’d be fine with it was wrong. Even worse, I’d put another man right in front of her—a man she very well might be attracted to.
“I can’t stay away any longer, Daryl. I need to go home.”
His eyes bugged out of his head as he threw his hands up in the air in disgust. “Jesus Christ! You can’t go home. If Karl knows you’re there, you’ll put Nina in danger too. You need to just sit tight while we find out what that fucker’s up to.”
“You figure that out. I need to get back home. I’ve expected Nina to deal with too much.”
“She’s fine. Don’t worry about her. I’m sure it was just a bad day for her. She’s tough. She can handle it.”
“I can’t handle it.”
Unable to admit to Daryl that Nina’s hopefully empty threat had made me more jealous than I thought I could be, I just stood there as my mind spiraled trying to figure out how I could go home without putting her in any more danger.
“I know what you’re worried about, Tristan, but you can trust her and Varo. He’s a good guy.”
That made what I was feeling even worse. A good guy sleeping in the room right next to her after they pretended to be in love all day. Fucking perfect. No, I had to go home. Somehow, I had to be able to be near her.
“I don’t care. I need to go back. Now. So help me figure it out.”
“You’re killing me here, Tristan. The two of you lovebirds are just killing me.” Stroking his beard to a long point below his chin, he pursed his lips as he thought. “I have an idea, but I need to know. Can you can speak any languages other than English?”
“You mean like French or Spanish? No.”
He sighed. “Well, that doesn’t help.”
“I know sign language, though.”
Daryl narrowed his eyes to slits, as if he was considering what I’d just said. “You mean for deaf people?”
“Yeah. I had no interest in learning any language in high school, so they said I could take American Sign Language. I’m still pretty good at it.”
I began to fingerspell, quickly remembering the alphabet and some common signs like I’m sorry and thank you.
“Can you do that with gloves on?”
I closed my fist and moved it up and down to sign yes. “As long as my fingers are free, I can sign. Why? What are you thinking?”
Downing the last of his drink, he smiled for the first time since he arrived. “I’m thinking I’m a genius. Hang on.”
He took his phone out and tapped in a number before putting it to his ear. In seconds, I understood his plan. “Nina, it’s Daryl. You need to fire the gardener. I’ll have a new one there tomorrow.”
Nina’s voice came through the phone loud and clear. “Why? There’s nothing wrong with Chip. West and Gage cleared him and he’s fine.”
“I found out something that makes it appear he might be connected to Karl. I can fire him, if you like.”
“Fine, you do it. I don’t want to fire him. He’s been nothing but nice.”
“I’ll be right over to take care of it.”
Daryl put his phone away and turned toward me with a broad smile. “Okay, now that that’s taken care of, you can be the gardener. I’ll say you’re deaf and dumb and only communicate through signing. We need to get you some sunglasses to hide your eyes, but other than that, you barely look like you after all these months.”
“One problem. I can’t keep sunglasses on every moment I’m at the house, and one look at my eyes and she’ll know it’s me in a heartbeat.”
Walking past me into the living room, he shook his head. “I’m one step ahead of you. Come with me. It’s time to head to Wal-Mart to change those big brown eyes to something even your lady won’t recognize.”
I followed him, thrilled to know that I’d be close to Nina again and taking pleasure in his amusement at all of this. “You seem almost happy, Daryl. Enjoying yourself?”
“I’ll enjoy myself when all this is over and you and Nina are back together so she doesn’t ream me out anymore. Ever been to Wally World?”
***
I followed behind Daryl as he walked the stone path toward the gardens behind the house. Our Wal-Mart trip had been a success, but my color changing contacts wouldn’t be in for up to a week, so I questioned whether his whole grand plan was going to fall apart the minute I was introduced to Nina.
Slowing down to walk next to me, he whispered, “No matter what she says, do not take off those glasses. Just let me handle everything. Remember, you’re deaf and dumb.”
I made the OK sign with my hands, which were hidden inside gloves. That I was already wearing gloves before I began the job seemed even odder than the sunglasses, but I was afraid she’d suspect something if she saw my hands.
“Is that supposed to be something I know?” he asked, staring at my fingers.
“It means OK,” I whispered out of the side of my mouth.
“No talking. You want to be able to see her every day or not?”
He knew the answer to that. Just being on the grounds again filled me with anticipation. My stomach flipped when I thought about finally seeing her after all these months. Even if she didn’t know who I was, I’d finally be able to be close to her.
Then I saw her. In the distance, she appeared angry as she stormed down the pathway toward us, and I recognized that look of unhappiness on her face. All at once, I knew the story Daryl had told me about her reaming him out was no exaggeration, but even angry she looked beautiful. She wore her long hair up in a ponytail and had no makeup on. But it didn’t matter. She was still the most beautiful woman I’d ever seen.
“Nina, how are you today?” Daryl asked as we all met at a bend in the path.
“I’m fine, Daryl. I don’t really know why you needed me out here for this, but I’m fine,” she said sourly.
“I felt you should meet the new gardener since I had to fire the old one.”
“I liked Chip, Daryl. He was a nice guy. I feel bad that you fired him. To be honest, I can’t imagine he’d be involved with anyone bad.”
“Not to worry. This is Ethan and he’s going to be fine.”
Nina looked me up and down and then looked back at Daryl. “Ethan?”
“Yeah. He doesn’t speak because he’s deaf and dumb, but he knows his way around a shrub.”
She looked me up and down once more and turned her back toward me to speak to Daryl. “Are you two brothers at the Water Buffalo Lodge or something and you owe him a favor? He looks oddly like you. And deaf and mute? How is he going to do this?”
“He’s got a disability, but we can’t hold that against him. As for the beard, it’s not as nice as mine, but you have to give him points for trying. Don’t worry. He’s perfect for this.”
She turned around, and I saw her expression soften. After studying me for a few moments, she extended her hand. “It’s nice to meet you, Ethan. I hope you’ll be happy here.” I shook her hand, wishing I wasn’t wearing gloves so I could feel her skin against mine. I wanted to take her in my arms and fill my nose with the familiar scent of lavender her shampoo left in her hair. I wanted to hold her against me and tell her I was there with her.
Turning toward Daryl, she continued, “I think Chip was working on fixing up the garden so it would be ready for the summer. I’d told him I wanted to plant some vegetables, so have Ethan pick up where Chip left off.”
“Got it.”
“Anything else, Daryl?”
Smiling, he shook his head. “No. I’m glad to see you’re in a better mood today.”
“You can thank Gage for that,” she said with a chuckle before she turned on her heels and walked away.
In that second, my chest felt like someone hit it with a sledgehammer. I’d never been so jealous in my life and unable to do a thing about it. All I could do was stand there pretending like I hadn’t heard her just imply she’d slept with her bodyguard.
Daryl’s hand clamped down on my forearm and he whispered, “Relax. She didn’t mean anything by it. Remember, they’re pretending to be together. I’ve got an idea on Cordovex to check out, so get to trimming the hedges or whatever and I’ll check in with you tonight back at your place.”
I barely heard him over the sound of my heartbeat pounding in my ears.
By the time I got back to the apartment that night, I’d nearly gone out of my mind with jealousy. From where I was standing as I raked and hoed to prepare the space Nina wanted to use for her vegetable garden, I was able to watch the inside of the lower level of the house. Varo looked quite at home as he swam in my pool in the middle of the day, joined by Nina at one point who didn’t swim but sat and watched for a few minutes as he did.