Giver of Light (11 page)

“Damn, Lucinda. I had no idea you'd drop them completely. I am sorry.”

“How long have I been out?” It felt like I'd been asleep for a week. I was so relaxed, so peaceful, so calm. I stretched my body in his arms like a well fed cat. He growled low, then cleared his throat and looked away abruptly.

“No more than five minutes.” His voice was stiff and formal, as though he was trying to distance himself from me. I tried to move from his cradling arms, but he held me firm against his chest, without making eye contact at all.

“Enrique,” I said quietly.

“Stay still. I can't... I can't let you go yet, just a minute more.” He still wasn't looking me in the eyes, but I had the impression that if I moved he would chase me. I shifted uncomfortably and he growled, holding me almost painfully tight. “Do. Not. Move.”

His eyes when he glanced at me were a maelstrom of browns; amber, ochre, deep redwood, bronze.

“Jesus, Enrique. What's wrong?”

“I have delved too far in your mind.” Every word was forced out through clenched teeth, he was fighting to stay in control. “I...” He licked his lips. “I need to hold you a little longer.” He finished rather lamely, then looked away.

I resigned myself to sitting still, very still and just listened to his ragged breathing and then concentrated on the feel of his hand stroking my back in slow, slow circles. It didn't feel intimate, but it did feel soothing. Me or him? All I knew was, what I sensed from Enrique right now was a fierce desire to protect me. To keep me safe. His vampire within had woken up and decided I wasn't in the category of prey, but instead protection. I was infinitely grateful for that fact.

I cringed at the unwelcome thought of prey and being fed upon by vampires, lots of vampires and Enrique stiffened.

“Please do not think of them, Lucinda. Please.” Shit, he was reading my mind and it was upsetting him, or at least upsetting his vampire-within. But, it was the way he begged that kept me from my memories, those recent memories of vampires attacking me. I concentrated instead on his plea, he was determined to protect me - even protect me from my memories - and although he was unable to release me right now, he meant me no harm. He didn't want to feed from me, to satisfy a hunger in any way, shape, or form. He was using every muscle he had to keep me safe. Not that there was anything in this cabin to threaten my safety, other than him, but his vampire-within was determined I'd stay safe regardless.

“Just a moment more, Lucinda. Just one more moment.” He rested his head down on my chest, his thick dark hair brushing against my chin, his hot breath coming in quick succession against my skin.

I didn't say anything, just held my breath and tried to think of something calming, waiting his vampire out. A picture of a farm came to mind, little lambs in the distance wagging their tails, a slight breeze gently breaching the hill behind me, making the thin film of my dress sway around my legs, baring my naked skin underneath.

“I can read your mind because your shields are not yet up and I have already traversed so deeply within. Because of that depth of mental connection my vampire feels inordinately protective of you. I cannot dissuade him, until he is ready to let go.” He pulled back slightly and smiled. I could see he had, in fact, got himself and his vampire more or less under control again, the colours in his eyes still swirling, but much more languidly, much more muted than before.

He picked me up effortlessly and placed me back on the couch then took the few steps he needed to collapse in his own chair again. The drink was to his lips in a second of parking himself firmly in the chair and downed completely in one single gulp.

I watched him closely, wondering just how far his vampire-within would go to protect me now and how permanent such a connection would remain. It was, at least, a safer and more positive response than most vampires would have and it's not that I wasn't grateful that his vampire had chosen to cherish me over something less invited. But still, any vampire connected to me right now was more than a little unnerving. I couldn't help it. Lacking knowledge of who and what I was, incomplete memories of where I came from and who was important to me, coupled with recent images of aggressive vampires and near-death experiences, just didn't make accepting a vampire I felt I barely knew as my guardian angel. Something told me I already had one of those, one that would be more welcome than this vampire. Despite him being so caring, protective and having saved me from certain death.

“How close were we before?”

He had refilled his glass and was halfway through it already.

“We were acquaintances. I am your kindred vampire's ally. Nothing more.”

So, having him as my permanent guardian angel was something altogether knew in our relationship dynamics. I really didn't have the strength to politely decline his offer of chaperoning me everywhere I went.

He laughed at my thoughts, a delightful chuckle from the back of his throat. When he saw the response to him hearing my thoughts again on my face, he added, “Have you considered replacing your shields? The effect of my influence over the drugs you have been subjected to should last until you reach Michel, at which stage he can heal you completely, I am sure.”

I was surprised his new status as my self-appointed protector would allow that suggestion. Surely keeping tabs on my thoughts would allow his vampire to know when I needed its aid?

He smiled slightly and shrugged his shoulders in an elegant roll of muscles. “Somehow, I don't think we will ever be simple acquaintances again, Lucinda. I will always feel as though I should look out for you. Like a brother does a sister. But, yes, please raise them, before my vampire insists otherwise.”

I worked on imagining strong brick walls around my mind and within minutes felt they were complete. I watched as Enrique visibly relaxed. So, he didn't like hearing my thoughts? My regard for him increased ten fold.

“That's a nifty trick, you know, getting so far inside someone's head,” I said conversationally. “Somewhat more direct than talking.” Cuts out the misunderstandings, anyway.

He laughed again. “It is usually reserved for the most intimate of relationships, one built on trust and love. When taken out of that context it is an abuse. I would never abuse you.”

Just then the fasten seatbelt sign pinged on and Enrique sighed.

“It has been a pleasure,
Señorita
and I am glad to have successfully distracted your mind, but your kindred awaits and no doubt when your memories return you will remember this gift you have shared with me and perhaps bestow it on someone more worthy, such as him.”

I thought about that for a moment, unable to picture wanting that emotional connection with anyone, unable to envisage letting myself be laid so bare, so open, so vulnerable again. Enrique had caught me at the most weakest of moments, entirely unintentionally and with no further desire than to protect, but still not given as free will.

Was I really that close to my kindred that I would feel able to give him this
gift
, as Enrique had called it?

I guessed I was about to find out. Auckland City spread out below my window, the lights calling to me and welcoming me home.

It was only as the wheels of the plane touched down on the tarmac that I realised, I had recognised it. Enrique had never told me where we were heading, but I knew it was Auckland.

And I had finally come home.

Waiting at the hangar our plane taxied to was a Land Rover Discovery, all shiny sleek black, tinted windows, large alloy wheels. The plane stopped just in front of it and Enrique opened the door, lowering the stairs.

“Are you staying?” I asked as I went to walk past him.

He smiled, that genuine smile of his and nodded slowly. “I will be staying at
Sensations,
but I believe I will not be travelling in your car. Mine is no doubt due here momentarily, I shall bid you farewell from here. I am sure we will be speaking again soon.”

I suddenly felt reluctant to leave him. I had felt safe with Enrique, he had rescued me, found me in Denver and brought me home. For a brief moment I wondered why it wasn't Michel who had saved me. Why hadn't my
kindred
moved Heaven and Earth to get to me too?

“It will be OK, Lucinda. Your memories should return within the next day, two at the most. With it, so much more will make sense. Trust me.” He took my hand in his and kissed it briefly on the back, then released it again. No lingering kiss or touch, very impersonal, yet respectful.

“Your guard awaits.” He nodded towards the car and sure enough, a female vampire was standing next to it waiting. I didn't recognise her.

“Do they know I can't remember?” I whispered, still unable to walk away from him.

“Yes.” His voice was soft. “They know everything I know.”

I looked at his face then and clearly he saw fear on mine. He reached up and cupped my chin. “It will be OK, little Hunter, they are your kin.”

“I want you to come with me.” My voice sounded pathetic and I was trembling slightly. In my mind Enrique was safe now, any other vampires most definitely were not.

He looked pained, but after a quick glance at the vampire waiting he reluctantly shook his head. “I am not family, Lucinda. I would not be welcome, not until they have had a chance to embrace you themselves. To ensure you are safe. I am merely the messenger, if I over step my place, we may not see each other ever again. I should like very much to see you again.”

I nodded slowly and took a deep breath in. I could do this. I have survived so much more recently, I could face this last hurdle. I felt inside my jacket for my stake, immediately feeling my heartbeat settle at the touch of the cool silver against my finger tips. Enrique smiled at the action.

“Always the Hunter.”

I wanted to ask him what he meant, what was a Hunter? But, I knew I would only be stalling and if what he said was true, I would find out soon enough. Two days. Just two more days and it will all make sense.

He better be bloody well right.

I turned without saying goodbye and got halfway down the steps before stopping. Looking back at him I whispered, “Thank you.” He heard me, smiled and fisted his hand over his heart and bowed low at the waist. Then retreated into the cabin, making my only course of action to return to the vampire waiting beside the car.

I walked slowly and a little stiffly towards the woman. She looked about my age, long blonde hair, my height too, which was kind of nice. And she was beautiful in a cute, but tough, kind of way. She looked like she could eat vampires for breakfast, but still look appealing while she skinned them alive. She smiled genuinely at me and took a step forward. I stopped immediately, noticing she had risen her arms, as if to hold me in an embrace. She lowered them slowly, but kept smiling.

“Welcome home,” she said softly in an American accent that made me cringe in fear.  But she didn't acknowledge my response, just opened the front passenger door to the car.

I took the cue and slid in. She shut it and was around the driver's side in an instant, the engine started and we were off. I buckled my seatbelt as I watched the plane disappear behind us, Enrique still on board.

It was a little awkward, travelling in silence, just the lights of passing cars and Auckland city to break the monotony. I thought she'd just let the still air sit silent, but she began talking after we had left the immediate airport grounds. Slowly at first and then faster, almost a rush to fill the gap left by my stillness and silence. But, I had the sense that it was all planned, all methodical. Nothing this woman did was not thought out.

“
Amisi has baked your favourite. She's been baking non-stop since we heard Gregor had found you. There's bat cookies and hot cakes, blueberry muffins and something she called pavlova. It was a trial, being Egyptian I don't think she had made it before. I still don't know if it was a success, she covered it in a whole shit-load of cream and then chopped up kiwi, so it's now this crispy creamy white mountain covered in green. Kind of impressive in a lump of goop kind of way.”

I listened as she kept talking, enjoying her mannerisms even though her accent was American, like Jonathan's, but she seemed more relaxed, more normal somehow. I wondered if that was the Kiwi influence, whether she had been here long.

“You haven't missed much,
chica
, things have been pretty much rolling along in your absence. Amisi has picked up the slack, she's been hunting here and can you believe it? Wellington. Gregor's no doubt cock a hoop, finally he's had Amisi all to himself, shame she's dissed him at every turn. I think he thought she'd be all friendly and nice since you were missing and all, they'd have the loss of you in common, but she's been calling him out on every little thing. Bombarding him with
Iunctio
rules and how he is frequently breaking them. It's damned amusing, Gregor the Enforcer kowtowing it to an immature Nosferatin, but he's besotted. A bit like how he was with you. Still, you'll be relieved he's looking at Amisi all doe eyed now and not you. And Amisi can handle him. Totally.”

I don't know if it was the fact that she had called me
chica
or the fact that she had just continued to talk about familiar every day things, or the fact that the drugs were finally wearing off, but as she kept talking, almost nonsense, but familiar nonsense none-the-less, I started seeing flickering images, memories I realised, flashing before my eyes. A dark skinned girl with long black hair, tall athletic build and a beautiful smile cooking in a kitchen, I knew instantly that it was Amisi. This vampire sparring with me, our swords glinting in the moonlight, her name coming to me without even trying, Erika. A club, all rich dark colours and solid wooden furniture, a friendly smiling bartender, fangs flashing, but I knew he was a friend. Doug. More and more images of people I knew, places I had been. Some of it easy to recognise, others just flashes, there one second gone the next, no chance to decipher them at all.

And Michel. Michel smiling at me, Michel laughing with me, Michel embracing me, holding me, loving me and as those beautiful memories came pouring back in I felt my love for him in return, my yearning for him, the hole in the heart was all for him. It frightened me. It enthralled me. It excited me. It made me suck in a sharp breath and Erika to stop mid sentence and cast a worried glance my way.

“Too much?” she asked, worry dripping off her words.

I shook my head and looked at her fully for the first time. “I... I can remember some things.” I was sure it wasn't everything, I still couldn't remember what it was I did for a living, what a Hunter was, who I really was, but it was a start. And suddenly I wanted to get to Michel, I wanted to face him, to see that he was OK too.

Erika drove on in silence, clearly unsure if she should push her luck. As we approached a familiar suburb she shifted uncomfortably in her seat. I flicked her a glance.

“What is it?”

She sighed and rolled her shoulders. “You should be prepared. Michel is not well. I don't want you to be shocked when you see him. The time apart from you has taken its toll and I think...” She swallowed noticeably. “I think he has been sending as much of his power through the Bond to you as he could manage. I think he has been sacrificing his strength in order to feed your need.” She looked at me quickly then and added, “Don't get me wrong, you look like shit too. You're skinny as and pale and you could pack up a family of four in those bags under your eyes, but Luce, he's worse. OK?”

I nodded, unable to say anything right then.

A few minutes later we pulled up outside a well lit house on top of a cliff. I could hear the ocean wash against the beach at its base. Erika hadn't parked in the attached garage, but out on the driveway. I stood holding on to the door of the car looking up at the warm lights shining through the large expanse of windows along the front of the property. I recognised the place, the word
home
floating through my mind, but even as my mind said it, it still felt a little disconnected from what I was feeling.

Erika stopped next to me and looked at the house too. “Do you remember it?” she asked softly.

“Kind of,” I whispered.

She nodded and offered me her arm, I didn't hesitate, I knew I couldn't mount those steps on my own. One, I was shit scared all of a sudden and two, my legs had turned to jelly, I was feeling so damn weak. We walked slowly up the stairs and the front door opened as soon as we made the top step. Amisi stood on the other side, a big smile on her face, a tea towel in her hands. She went to take a step forward, but I caught Erika shaking her head at my side. Amisi paled slightly, but continued to hold her smile.

“I'm sorry,” I muttered as I shuffled past her. I could see the shock on her face, but I couldn't help it. All these people knew me, obviously cared for me, but I couldn't muster the response they all craved. I just couldn't. That left me feeling sad and an apology was all I could muster.

In the foyer of the house I sensed vampires everywhere. In the lounge off to the left, in the kitchen towards the back, in the back yard, downstairs in the cellar.

“There's a lot of vampires here,” I said quietly, beginning to shake.

Amisi came around and stood in front of me, her face calm and friendly, concern clearly written all over it. “They are all family, Lucinda. They won't hurt you. They are here for Michel's protection. And now yours.”

I stared at her eyes, so deeply brown, so round and big and tried to see the truth there. My fear was ratcheting up, I couldn't help it, it was threatening to consume me and all rational thought was swiftly disappearing.

The vampires seemed to disappear while I held her gaze, all of them, save one upstairs and Erika at my back, flowing out of the house and retreating some distance away.

“Michel has asked them to pull back for now,
chica
. They are no longer here.”

I flicked a glance back at Erika and she smiled. I swallowed convulsively and couldn't still my heart or stop the shakes. She took my hand and squeezed it.

“Would you like to sit in the lounge and just get your bearings for a moment?”

It was a kind offer, I knew she was trying not to rush me or push me, but something was pulling me upstairs. Like a fish caught on a tight line I felt the pull, I took a step towards the stairs and stopped, forcing myself to breathe.

“He's up there, isn't he?”

“Yes.” Erika again, at my side. “He needs you, Lucinda. He needs his kindred.”

I pulled my hand out of hers and began wringing them. If I was going to do this, I wanted to do it alone. I barely remembered Erika or Amisi, I felt OK with them, but not entirely safe. I did know that I had to climb those stairs. That I had absolutely no choice, that if I didn't do it now, I would soon collapse and have to be carried up there. I did not want that to happen. I had survived kidnapping, drugging, physical assault and several hours in a foreign city on my own when weak and impossibly outnumbered. I could do this.

“I go alone. I don't want either of you there.” It sounded harsh, but if they noticed they didn't show it. Erika quietly closed the door behind us and Amisi walked off into the lounge. I looked back at Erika standing statue still at the door.

“I'll not follow, but I will watch you climb those stairs. If you fall, I can catch you before you hit the bottom.” She crossed her arms across her chest and stared straight ahead. She wouldn't be budged. I sighed and took the first step towards that pull.

I made it to the top without falling, but I was breathless and so weak. I had to hold on to the banister rail for a moment to catch my breath and in case the world did continue to fall away to the side as it had been threatening. I had no idea how long it took me, possible only a minute, maybe ten. I was pretty drained and covered in sweat.

Finally, my heart rate slowed and the blurriness at the sides of my vision faded. I took a tentative step away from the safety of the rail and rejoiced when I didn't topple over. Tough Hunter, that's me. I smiled despite myself and kept heading towards the now undeniable and fierce pull, almost making me run, even though I had my heart in my throat and could barely draw a breath.

The door to the room was ajar, not fully closed and I could feel him on the other side. I placed my hand on the door and just stood there, unable to push it open, unable to pull away. What was on the other side was important to me, I knew this, but I was also so, so very scared. What if I couldn't remember him properly? What if what I remembered was false? Another lie, another trick to make me feel safe. What if I felt nothing when faced with him?