Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1) (29 page)

It really doesn’t take long before she is
kneeling before me, and I know she wants to do something to me she
hasn’t done yet. When the first lick happens, I’m out of my mind
already. She takes the head of my dick in her mouth, licking it
like a lollipop. I’ve never pressured her to give me head before, I
just didn’t care if or when it happened, but now that I’m in her
mouth… Well, let’s just say I didn’t know what I was missing. She’s
phenomenal at this, taking me in, then pulling me out. She licks
the edges of my length, and I weave my hands into her hair, holding
her head as she bobs forward, then pulls back. It’s not that this
isn’t hot, because it is, but something about this moment is more
intimate than the sex we have. This is just another thing that she
surprises me with, that she was willing to do this for me even
though I never asked for it. I like her spontaneity, the way she’s
aggressive, but yet her mouth is graceful and loving. This woman
could bring a grown man to his knees with her tongue and soft lips.
I feel high. I literally feel like I’m floating above my body,
looking down on the way she sucks me, makes love to me with her hot
mouth. It’s fucking insane. I don’t want to come this way. I just
want to be with her, be inside her.

“Baby, please, it feels so good but I need to
have you, and I don’t want to come this way. I want to be inside
you when I come.”

Shit. That just shocked me. I can’t believe I
would even say such a thing.

She looks up at me, still on her knees. Her long
lashes and baby blues looking in shock.

“You…you sure you want that? You’re ok with
it?”

I suddenly feel nervous, so I place my hands
under her armpits and raise her up to me, and I gently place her on
the breakfast bar that’s behind her.

“No, no please don’t freak out sweetie. I just
thought, well… I… I, um, I.” I stutter ‘cause I want to tell her I
love her first. I want to scream it on top of a mountain, and I
know I sound like a pussy, but this is momentous. Me, I mean me, I
love someone. I love Harlow. This is the most special day of my
life. I never thought it was possible, that I could love anyone but
myself. I mean I love Antonio and Bella and Matteo, but this is
being in love. Shit people do every day, but not me, and here I am.
I’m in fucking love.

“What is it you wanted to say to me, babe?” She
strokes my face, searches my eyes and tries to communicate with me
with only a look. I want to say it, and I go to, but my fear holds
me back. So I chicken out like an asshole.

“Nothing baby. I just thought about it, but if
you’re not comfortable, it’s ok.”

She smiles and keeps touching my face, drawing
an invisible line with her finger across my stubble.

“I don’t care, Cruz. I can’t get pregnant, and I
feel so close to you and trust you, that I think it’s fine.” She
continues to talk as I carefully, and methodically slide my hands
up the sides of her legs, searching for the seam of her panties to
bring them down. She keeps her sexy glasses on, which I asked her
to do.

I go back to giving her soft kisses, slipping my
tongue in and out of her mouth, and blazing a trail along the
outline of her lower lip.

“Babe, I’ll do whatever you want me to do. I
just want to make you happy.” Her panties dangle from one of her
ankles, and she keeps her fuck me hot heels on.

“You being here with me, like this, makes me
happy. I didn’t think I would ever be this happy again.”

I ease my cock into her, because my want and
need to take her and always have her as mine consumes me. She
hisses when I push into her. Her nails dig into my shoulder as I
stand and control myself as I step into the bliss I call
Harlow.

I love the way her arms wrap around me, holding
me, as though she couldn’t get any closer, even if she tried. If I
could crawl into her and stay there where I’m bathed in her warmth,
then that’s where I’d live, with her, inside. Inside her heart,
inside her soul.

The sound of our bodies slapping together, her
tongue licking my neck and ear, and the faint sounds she makes when
she’s about to come, is my undoing. My need to satisfy her, to
pleasure her, is all I want. Fuck me and my pleasure, for once.
Just the thoughts of what I can do to her is enough pleasure for
me. I feel how responsive Harlow is to me, how her wetness
surrounds me, and I don’t hold back anymore. I come in her body,
and all sense of reality is gone. With the exception of loving her
being my actual reality. The reason for me to exist. The heat
between us bounces off into the room, giving the air the scent of
sex, lust and love.

I love her.

I love her.

I fucking love her.

We sit on the floor, exhausted, and we pant. I
take her hand and kiss it gently, looking at her hurts so good. Her
cheeks are pink, and her complexion is dewy. Her hair, well that
ponytail she wore is now halfway down with tendrils all over the
place. She looks like she’s just been through a war, and I like it.
She snuggles down into my chest and holds on to my waist with her
arm. She places her ear over where my heart is and I hear her
hum.

“Why are you humming, babe?”

“Because sometimes I feel the need to remind
myself that you are real, that this is real, and I hum to the beat
of your heart. I do it all the time, you just don’t know it.” I
kiss the top of her head and stroke that beautiful hair of hers,
wondering how this person floated into my life and how I let
her.

“It’s not a dream. This is happening. You and
me.”

I suddenly feel wetness on my chest, and I think
she’s crying. I sit up a bit more and adjust my body to look at
her.

She is crying.

I wipe away her tears. My chest feels like it’s
caving in just from the look on her face.

“What’s wrong, Turnip? Talk to me.”

Her sobs come out in spurts, and her breathing
is hitched.

“I… I don’t know how we can keep on doing this.
I miss you so much when you’re not here. I… I thought the skyping
and the phone calls were going to make it all ok, but I know I
can’t stand being away from you. I’m sorry if I’m acting like a
baby, but I’m always honest with you and I want you to know how
I’ve been feeling.” She swipes at her eyes and looks down, linking
her fingers nervously together.

“I want more, Cruz.”

She has more. She has me. Every part of me and
it kills me to see her like this and to know that there’s nothing
we can do about it right now. I have to try to make it seem better
and put my best effort forward in making sure that being apart
isn’t a permanent thing.

“Turnip, right now, honestly this is how it has
to be. It’s not ideal. We both know that, but how about we wait
till after next summer. You’ll be back in Sandy Cove at Willow’s
and I’ll be at Porter’s. In the meantime how would you like it if
while I’m here in Princeton, I submit an application to their
police department, and if it happens now, then I’ll move? I’ll quit
Sandy Cove’s force and start over here, and if not, at least they
have my name and application, and hopefully something in the next
nine months opens up.”

Before I know it, she’s on top of me kissing me
from the top of my head to my cheeks, my eyes, my ears, my neck.
Little kisses and screams of joy fill my ears.

I laugh. “I guess you like that idea, huh,
Turnip.”

She wraps her hands around my neck and sits on
my lap. Her smile is so bright and beaming I have to squint.

“That sounds like the most perfect idea I have
ever heard.” She stares at me. I take in the lines of her face, the
curvature of it, the freckles that drive me insane, and the look in
her eyes… That damn loving look in her eyes can make me beg, make
me forget all the bad in my life. When she pulls my lips to her and
kisses me, I hear the sound of my internal bell ringing that we’re
about to go for round two.

I’ll do whatever I have to do to make her happy.
I’ll leave Sandy Cove. I’ll leave a good job and get another just
to be with her. It’s a relief that she feels the same way I do. I’d
move to the ends of the earth to be with her. I love her that
much.

***

Cruz did what he promised. He submitted an
application to the Princeton police department and two other
precincts in two neighboring towns. I’m going to pray with all I
that have he will get hired sooner than later.

I still can’t believe I cried to him the way I
did, but the truth is I can’t stand it. I hate being this far from
him. I never felt this way, not even with Chad. I was used to him
coming and going, but with Cruz that’s something I’ll never get
used to. The warmth his body gives, the light he gives my heart,
the pleasure he gives my body, mind, and soul. If I were a betting
woman, I’d toss all the chips down on the table and say that last
month in my kitchen, he was going to tell me he loved me. I saw it
in his eyes. I felt it with every fiber of my being. I know that
I’m in love with him, but for Cruz, that’s a newfound emotion and
an envelope I’m not going to push. Just feeling it in my heart is
enough… For now.

I hear the sounds he makes when he sleeps. Soft
breathing, stilling my heart when he turns over to wrap an arm
around me, pulling me closer to him when he realizes I’m too far
away from him in this bed. I want to see this every day of my life.
I want to wake up with him beside me, touch him, revel in this
bliss. I know I’m young and twenty-four is knocking on my door, but
I see myself with him for the rest of my life. It’s not that
farfetched. My parents were married by the time they were
twenty-four and Greta was on her way. Against my grandmother’s
wishes, but she’s a different story.

Thanksgiving came and went. We did the normal
feed the homeless at a shelter, then had dinner at my parents.
Grandmother wanted us to go to the club for dinner, but my parents
do not believe in making people work on a holiday and missing
dinner with their family. Cruz worked, but spent the morning with
Bella, Tony and the baby, so I’m glad he got to see them. He
mentioned his parents were on a cruise for the holiday.

Odd.

Who leaves their first grandchild on his first
holiday? I didn’t question it because I didn’t want to upset Cruz
if he already was upset about it.

The Christmas season has always been my
favorite. The hustle and bustle of it. I love the lights, the
music, the people pushing each other around in the malls. It’s
magical. This year, it’s a little different. I have Cruz in my
life, but he won’t be here for Christmas. He’s working. That low
man on the totem pole thing again. It stinks. I won’t see him again
till a few days before Greta’s wedding.

The kids in this school are crazy around the
holidays. I guess they need a break as much as the teachers do, so
they are getting a bit antsy, which in turn… So am I. Grading
finals for this semester is exhausting. I’m looking forward to
saying bye to Grayson Elders for a whole ten days.

Willow breezes into my classroom after a brief
little knock.

“Hey. You up for some drinks after here at The
Barn? My treat.”

She plops down in one of the desks across from
me and kicks her heels off.

I tap my red pen on my desk.

“You better stick those back on. My next class
will be here any minute and aren’t you supposed to be at
lunch?”

She lets out a breath making her straight blonde
bangs fly up off her forehead.

“I suppose but I really need to get out tonight.
C’mon. What do you say?”

Her whiny tone makes me roll my eyes. I know
she’s going to keep at me about this no matter what, but I still
try.

“Wills, I haven’t bought a present yet. I still
have to go pick up my shoes for Greta’s wedding, and I have not had
a chance to get a Christmas tree or even hang a wreath on my door.
The rest of my neighbors are all decorated outside with lights and
those silly blowup Santas and my house looks like Scrooge lives
there.”