Giving In (The Sandy Cove Series Book 1) (30 page)

She crinkles up her nose.

“Oh for the love of Pete! Why would you want one
of those smelly things in your new place anyway. They’re messy and
sticky, and… Well messy. Let’s just go get a few beers. I will go
with you this weekend to get a tree and we can go shopping
too.”

See, the woman will badger me and give me every
reason in the book why or why not I should do something. I could go
for a few cold ones though.

“Pleeaaseee, Harlow…” Again with the
whining.

I put down the red pen, even though I have to
finish these grades by the end of the day. I shake my head at
Willow as she clasps her hands together, pleading with me to go to
damn happy hour.

“You’re not going to give up are you?”

“Nope.”

“I figured as much.”

I stack my papers and rise out of my chair.

“Will you leave now if I say yes?”

She pops up from her seat, a huge smile
plastered on her face.

“Abso-fuckin-lutely.”

I point at the door as she sticks her shoes back
on.

“Fine. I’ll meet you at your car at four p.m.
Now get out and go eat the mystery meat in the cafeteria.”

She practically skips out the door after blowing
me a kiss.

The Barn is a bar in Princeton we’ve been
coming to for years. Porter used to work here and still does when
he’s home on break. Willow and I settle in a booth hidden from the
bar area. I don’t intend on staying late. I just need to
unwind.

I sip on my beer and Willow and I share some
fries.

“So, how’s it going with the big guy?”

Obviously, talking about Cruz, I can’t help but
to beam at her.

“Awesome. Just simply awesome.”

“I’m guessing all around. You know like side to
side, up and down. Lots of up and down.”

She winks at me, and I choke a bit on my sip and
laugh at her bluntness.

“Oh, come on, Har. It’s gotta be good, right? I
mean looking the way he does and the way you do. I’m sorry but I
wouldn’t mind being a fly on the wall to see some good
old-fashioned hot fucking.”

“Willow Taylor. My God, do you have no
shame?”

She ponders the question and munches on a
fry.

“Um… Actually, no, I don’t.”

We laugh together and I ease back into the
booth, kicking my heels off under the table.

“He’s fantastic, I will say that. But that’s all
I’m going to say. Some things have to be left up to the
imagination.”

She closes her eyes, sighs and rests her head in
her hand as her elbow holds it up.

“Yea, imagination is good.” She looks dreamily
at me and I do feel myself blush as I think about Cruz and what it
feels like to make love to him. Passion is his middle name. It
should be on his birth certificate or something.

“Wills? Are you ever not horned-up?”

She shakes her head. “No, not really. I’m in my
sexual prime. Down there is buzzing twenty-four seven.” She points
to her lady parts.

“Are you happy, Har?”

I nod, agreeing with her, but feeling the
loneliness seep in.

“I am very happy. I miss him though. I didn’t
think it would be this hard to be away from him. To have this long
distance thing going on. I mean we talk every day and skype all the
time, but it’s not the same.”

Willow finishes her beer and motions for the
waitress to bring her another. She points to me as to ask if I need
one.

“I’m good for now.”

“Do you love him, Har?”

“Yes. I do. I think I really do.”

“Do you think he loves you?”

Now there’s the question of the century. Does
Raphael Cruz love me? Is he capable? Will he ever be capable?

“Does it feel the same with Cruz as it did with
Knox?”

I chuckle at that thought.

“Not by a long shot. I was dumb and naïve. I’m
wiser to it now. With Chad, I was in a constant state of worry. I
knew that when he dropped me off for curfew he went off to some
other girl. It happened all the time. I was just blind and didn’t
see it for what it was.”

She points to me with a fry dangling from her
fingers.

“Bullshit is what it was. He had you wrapped
around his finger for so long. It was like you were in a trance or
something. I tried to pull you out, but you weren’t having it.”

I know all this. She did try. She would tell me
about his ‘extracurricular activities’, but I just didn’t listen or
rather didn’t want to. We were the golden couple. The one that
people envied. All the while it was a sham and I was the joke.

Hardy, har.

“Well, it’s all in the past. It is what it is.
Telling Cruz what happened between us has helped me a lot. I’m only
seeing Dr. Goldberg once a week now.”

She reaches over and pats my hand.

“I’m proud of you, Har. I really am. I have to
give the dickcop some credit.”

“Oh, yea? What’s that?”

“He brought my best friend back to me, and for
that I’ll be forever grateful.”

I was lost for a while, a long while.
Withdrawing from my friends and pretending everything was fine on
the outside with my family after it all happened. Willow stuck by
me though. Good times or bad times, I know she’ll always be
there.

We finish another beer and polish off the fries.
We walk to our cars and before I get into mine Willow grabs me and
hugs me.

“Har, you’re a lucky girl, you know that?”

I hug back not really understanding what she
means. I look at her and search her face for the meaning of her
statement.

“I mean, Har, you have finally found someone who
makes you feel special, wanted and needed. Therefore you’re a lucky
girl.” She releases me and smacks my butt as I get into my car.

“I’ll see you in the morning, unless you’re up
late and can’t get up. You know you haven’t taken a sick day yet.
Typical.”

She winks at me, gets in her car and drives
away.

Why on earth would I take a sick day? I feel
fine.

Driving home from The Barn through the streets
of Princeton, I wonder what life would be like for me if I had gone
through with my pregnancy. I’d have a baby to buy presents for,
take him or her to see Santa and to wake up with on Christmas
morning. Would Chad even have had anything to do with it? I’m
guessing not. I’ve never really thought about what my life would
have been like, especially this time of year. I really don’t want
to think about it. I don’t want to be sad. What’s done is done and
I’ll live with that guilt forever.

I turn down my street, my very festively
decorated street and I’m searching for my dark, non-festive house…
But I don’t see it. I drive a little farther down, slowly, and I
stop in front of mine.

Lights.

Everywhere.

My whole house is outlined in bright colorful
lights. The roof line, my windows, my tiny front porch. They’re
everywhere. Plastic lit candy canes line my driveway and the small
Japanese maple tree that sits in front of my house is adorned in
the magical lights and decorated with the biggest Christmas balls I
have ever seen. The four windows in the front have lighted wreaths
hanging outside of them too. All I can do is stare at it. My jaw is
actually dropped to the floor.

My dad sent someone over to do this, or maybe it
was Craw.

I dial Daddy first. Picking up on the second
ring he sounds so happy that it’s me calling.

“Hey, Dad.”

“Hi, Har! How are you sweetheart? So good to
hear from you. What’s up?”

“Dad, did you send someone over to hang
Christmas lights on my house?”

“No, honey I’m sorry I didn’t, but I feel bad
now I hadn’t thought about that sooner.”

“No problem. Maybe Craw did it. I’ll give him a
call.”

“Sweetie, you ok?”

“I’m fine, Dad.” He always knows when I’m a
little down from the sound of my voice.

“Harlow Jeanne Hannum? Dad knows you all too
well.”

I roll my eyes, but smile because he does know
his daughter.

“I just miss Cruz, Dad. It’ll be another few
weeks until we see each other. It’s hard.”

Dad sighs into the phone. “Sweetie, in all the
years you were with Chad, you appeared happy… On the outside, but
Mom and I knew you weren’t. I don’t really know what transpired
between you two in order for you guys to breakup, nor do I want to
know, that’s your business.”

Oh, Dad, if you only knew. You’d probably hate
me, but you’ll never know.

“What I do know is that I’ve seen the light in
your eyes return since you’ve been with Cruz. It’s a different look
than you had with Chad. Maybe it has to do with the fact that
you’re older, or maybe… No definitely, it’s because you’re in love
with him.”

I blush because my dad is on the phone with me,
and we are discussing my love life. Crazy, but sweet all at the
same time. The most significant thing about this whole conversation
is… He’s right. Cruz brought me back to life, albeit there may be
some who tend to disagree. I am happy because he’s my savior.

“Wow. You’ve been doing your homework, haven’t
you, Dad?”

He laughs in the phone. “No, it’s just a sharp
observation that parents make. I created you, my dear, and I know
more than you think. You’ll see someday when you have kids of your
own.”

I bite my lip and hold back the tears because
that is a reality that will never be.

“Maybe someday, Dad. Well, I’m going to go and
find out who my Christmas fairy is.”

“Ok, sweetie. I’ll let you go. Oh and Har?”

“Yea, Dad?”

“I just wanted to say that I think Cruz is a
lucky guy.”

I grin. “And why’s that?”

“He has you. I’ll talk to you later. I love
you.”

Too late for holding back the tears. My dad’s
words seem to have brought them out.

“I love you too, Daddy.”

I hang up and shut my car off. I get out and my
foot immediately goes into a pile of slushy snow. I should’ve worn
my boots, damn it.

I close the car door and marvel at the
spectacular light show that’s before me. Someone actually took the
time to do this for me.

It couldn’t be. He’s working a twelve hour
shift.

Approaching my house slowly, I don’t see his car
as I look around my street. It would be impossible for him to be
here, right? I stick my key in the front door and turn the lock and
walk into a winter wonderland and a hot cop.

“Merry two weeks before Christmas, Turnip.”

I wish someone was here to take a picture of my
face. Because I never would want to forget the way I look right
now.

“How’d you… When did you… What are you doing… “
The rest of my sentence goes out the window because Cruz engulfs me
in a hug and plants his sweet and sexy lips on mine.

He smells like peppermint and chocolate chip
cookies, and so does my house for that matter. When he pulls away
from me, he strokes my freckles and smiles.

“Thank God you didn’t come home earlier. Willow
did a good job.”

“Wait, what!?”

“I called Willow a few days ago. She told me you
were a little sad and stressed about the holidays, so right now my
Sergeant thinks I’m raging mad with the stomach flu and I can’t get
my face out of the toilet.”

Willow’s a sneaky bitch, but I love her
anyway.

“So that’s why she got me out tonight. What time
did you get here?”

He takes my hand and leads me into my living
room. Before me stands the grandest of Christmas trees decorated
with Christmas balls in the colors of red, green and silver. It’s
magnificent.

I really don’t know what to say. I just stare at
it and its beautiful display of lights and pine smelling
branches.

“I got here right before you left for the day. I
just parked down the street away from the direction you take from
work and went to work like the busy little elf I am.”

Cruz comes up behind me and wraps his large,
strong arms around my body and places soft kisses from my earlobe
down my neck.

“Do you like it, Turnip?”

I stammer for words because there aren’t enough
to express to him how thankful and grateful I am for this.

“I… I just don’t know what to say. It’s so
beautiful. I’ve never seen anything more beautiful.”

Cruz turns me around as we stand in front of his
masterpiece. The glow from the tree lights illuminates his face,
and I silently thank God for this, for him.

“See that’s where you’re wrong.”

He cups my face, strokes his thumb over my lips,
across my chin and to the bridge of my nose. He lightly kisses both
my eyes, then the tip of my nose before meeting back to my
eyes.

“What I’m holding in my hands is the most
beautiful thing I’ve ever seen.”

I feel the pink creep into my cheeks, and the
tears drift down my face.

I look up at him adoringly.

“You make me so happy. Thank you.”

He pulls my body closer to his own, and he feels
warm and safe to me. He’s just home to me.