Glass Ceilings (17 page)

While still in a semi state of sleep I reached for her, but felt nothing but the smooth cool sheet beneath my fingers. Groggily I opened my eyes, wondering what woke me. Daylight was just beginning to filter through the blinds. Memories of the night before surfaced, bringing with it a rush of blood that went straight to my cock. Sex was always satisfying, but only one other time had it been mind-blowing. Not coincidentally, I was with her then as well. Who knew being in love with someone could make such a difference.

The sound of the shower running helped my half-asleep haze realize where she'd gone, and my half-mast hard-on convinced the rest of me how awesome it would be to start the day buried deep inside her. Just as I debated on joining her, I heard Nicholas's voice coming from his room, once again killing my growing libido. My son seriously had to work on his timing.

Pulling on my jeans, I slowly opened his door to see him lying on his back singing to himself. He was such a happy baby. In spite of all the angst she carried, the fact she was able to still do such a great job mothering him caused an insane amount of pride to swell inside. I watched quietly from the doorway for a few minutes as he babbled incoherently, interjecting an audible word in here and there. As if he sensed my presence, he turned his head toward the door and beamed up at me.

“Dada.”

“Good morning, dude.”

In a flash, he was up and gripping the handrail of his crib. With his hair sticking up all over, he looked too damn cute. It was amazing how much he looked like me. The times that he'd concentrate on something, causing his big green eyes to widen, was when I'd see traces of Angela. Otherwise, he was all me.

My mother was going to lose her shit once she finally met him. The daunting task of telling my parents and sister sat at the back of my mind and it was not something I looked forward to. They weren't due back from California until the holidays, which meant it had to be done over the phone.

How do you start that conversation?
“Hey, Mom, you know how you always hint at wanting grandchildren before you're dead? Good news!”

Nicholas raised his arms expectantly when I reached his crib. “Dada, bye-bye?” he asked as I brought him up to my chest.

“Bye-bye? You want to go bye-bye?”

He nodded and repeated his request, adding, “Kell.”

“Kell?”

He raised his gaze to mine, and the gold flecks in his green eyes were identical to his mother's. I knew right then and there, this kid would be able to get anything he ever wanted by just pinning me with those gorgeous eyes. His warm body felt amazing, his baby smell was intoxicating.

“Oh God, I love how you smell,” I said, burying my face in his neck.

“It's addicting, isn't it?”

I turned at the sound of her voice. She stood in the doorway watching us, looking amazing as usual. Chestnut waves of damp hair cascaded around her shoulders. The oversized T-shirt she wore hit right at the apex of her thighs, reminding me how much I enjoyed spending time there last night. My eyes slowly traveled back up her body, landing on the playful smirk that she sported.

“Good morning,” she said when I finally met her eyes.

“Good morning,” I repeated. The licentious grin that I wore gave away my thoughts, causing a blush to tinge her cheeks.

Angela came further into the room to stand beside us. “Good morning, sweet boy.” She puckered her lips toward Nicholas, and he instantly leaned in to kiss her.

“Do I get one?”

Her response was to lift her face to gift me with my own kiss. Instantly, I wanted more. My hand moved to her lower back, holding her firm against me and feeling nothing but the thin T-shirt separating us.

“Do you have anything on under there?” My curiosity got the best of me as I gently lifted the hem of her shirt. A glimpse of pink lace forced a moan, causing her to laugh.

Quickly learning the downsides of parenthood, I reluctantly released her before more damage was done behind my zipper. Damn, I needed to work on channeling how much she affected me.

“Mama, bye-bye? Kell?”

“Yes, baby, today is Kell.”

My curious expression had her explaining, “On the days he goes to daycare, he calls them ‘Kell.' His teacher's name is Kellie and he adores her.”

“So, you're going in?” I asked, my tone causing her eyes to widen.

She tilted her head before saying, “I've taken so much time off these past few days.”

“I thought we'd talk today. Angela, we still have a lot to discuss.”

“Nick, I
have
to go in.”

At my silence, she took Nicholas from my arms and carried him to the changing table. “Ready to see Miss Kellie?” she asked him as she changed his diaper.

“I can stay with him,” I offered, thinking it was the perfect temporary solution, at least for today.
One day at a time,
I reminded myself.

“I know you can, and he'd love to spend the day with you. It's just that things are going to be different soon and I'd like to maintain as much of his routine as possible.”

“Different meaning me?”

“In an awesome way, but to a one-year-old, still different.”

I wasn't sure what I expected today…after all, they did have lives before me. I guess I didn't think it through. I assumed she'd take the day off, stay here with me. But then what? Tomorrow would come and the same worries would return. I couldn't expect to keep them both here as hostages for the rest of our lives.

“How can I be sure he'll be okay while at his daycare, not to mention that you're okay while at the store?”

Remorse flashed over her face before she reached over and stroked my hair. “Stop worrying.”

“You can't blame me for worrying, Angela,” I said, pathetically following behind her as she carried our baby into the kitchen.

“I don't blame you.” She put Nicholas into his high chair, throwing a handful of cereal on his tray to appease him before coming to stand before me. “You're absolutely right to worry, and we do have a lot to discuss. The worrying is going to come regardless, and I'll be here to help you deal with it, because I'll need you to do the same for me. I need to stay focused, stay strong for Nicholas. Believe me, if I allowed myself to really think about what was happening it could cause me to curl up in the corner and cry. So many times, I've wanted to do just that. But I can't, Nick.”

Fuck, I was supposed to be the one to help her feel safe, to settle her nerves, and there she was taking on the role. This was all happening so fast, all the new emotions that came out of nowhere, and the way they contradicted within me, wasn't helping my situation. I had a lot to work through.

Nicholas began to fuss, forcing her to resume their morning routine. Calmly she filled his plastic cup with milk, pulled out eggs, coffee for us, and all the ingredients needed to make him breakfast, yet still managed to continue to console me.

While preparing eggs, she calmly suggested, “Listen, I don't have to be in for a few hours. Why don't you and I take him in together, and then we can talk before I head over to the store? Okay?”

“Okay.”

Expertly, she got it all done as I watched in awe. “You're so good at this,” I said, meaning more than just juggling our son's breakfast needs.

“I've just had more time to learn how to handle it all. A few days ago parenting was the furthest thing from your mind.”

“I have a lot to learn regarding this parenting thing, don't I?”

The baby dropped his cup and I bent to pick it up. He smiled, took a sip, and offered me a Cheerio. I opened my mouth, allowing him to feed me a few more. “Ummy.” I nodded, straightening to find Angela watching us.

“No, Nick. You have it all wrong. You're a natural.”

To the delight of his daycare providers, Nicholas walked himself into his classroom unassisted. The accomplishment seemed to have taken the focus off the tall dude hovering near the door, who suspiciously looked very much like the little dude walking in.

“Kell!” He walked right over to a brunette and she lifted him into her arms with a huge smile. I watched him hold her cheeks and kiss her.

Assuming she was the head teacher I'd heard about, the other two women in the room were just as smitten with my son.

“He's very comfortable with Kellie. Sometimes she babysits for me,” Angela offered as we watched him from a few steps away.

“He's a flirt,” I murmured to his mother.

“Just like his dad,” Angela quipped, raising her brow before taking my hand and pulling me over to them.

“And like me, he prefers brunettes,” I said a little louder than I intended to, earning me a playful elbow to the ribs.

The blush that spread on Kellie's face must have meant that she heard me. “I'm Miss Kellie,” she said as my son gazed up at her completely love struck.

“Ladies, I'd like to introduce you to Nicholas's dad, Nick.”

Nicholas confirmed her statement pointing to me and saying, “Dada.”

High-pitched squeals followed as the three women really took notice of me for the first time. I was given a full progress report on my son, his likes, his strengths, and his talents. A half hour later, we finally left the daycare.

“That Dillon kid needs to be watched,” I mumbled on our way out.

“What?” she asked through a laugh.

“He's up to something.”

Suddenly she stopped walking and broke out into hysterics while holding her stomach from laughing so hard.

“I'm glad I'm amusing you,” I said through a smirk, especially since I was completely serious.

“God, Nick, I love you.” Her declaration out in broad daylight shocked me, effectively erasing my ire. When she saw the look on my face, her smile faded. “I'm sorry.”

“Sorry? Baby, you have no idea what hearing that does to me. I love you, too.”

Not caring that we stood on a busy sidewalk, not caring that hordes of New Yorkers scurried past us in their normal frantic way trying to get to work on time, I pulled her against me and kissed her softly. Once our eyes connected and the electricity sparked, any restraint I should have displayed while in public immediately vanished, permitting another much less appropriate kiss.

Two things I knew for sure…I'd never tire of kissing her, and I could kiss her for hours.

After only a few long minutes, she was the first to reluctantly pull away. “I think we're frustrating people,” she said, looking around our surroundings and becoming embarrassed.

“They can't be nearly as frustrated as I am right now,” I grumbled. “But I agree. Let's take this inside.”

Being alone with her for a few hours, especially after the blue balls I carried around since waking this morning, was going to be a temptation of the wickedest kind. The responsible adult in me reminded my lower half that we didn't have much time before she needed to leave for work, and we still had so much to discuss. Kissing her as I just did wasn't exactly the brightest of my decisions.

Forcing myself to focus, there was one thing I needed to know that had been pressing on my mind. The quiet elevator caused the question to form on the tip of my tongue.

“Angela, am I listed as Nicholas's father on his birth certificate?”

The look on her face said she wasn't at all surprised by my question. “Yes, you are.”

“But his last name is Cavello?”

“I couldn't legally name him Farley without your signature.”

“I want him to have my last name,” I stated matter-of-factly. She nodded as she unlocked her apartment door. “We'll have to have a DNA test performed to do that, but I need it, Angela.”

“I understand. I'll do whatever you need. He's your son, Nick.”

I nodded, debating on voicing my next request. Deciding to be honest, I added, “I also want you to take my name as well.”

“You do?” This time she did look shocked.

“Of course I do.”

“I guess we
do
have a lot to discuss,” she said the moment she closed the door behind us.

“This shouldn't surprise you, getting married still needs to happen.” I followed her to the futon, sitting beside her. “I haven't heard from George, which is concerning me.”

“In what way?”

“In a way that he either doesn't have anything to report, or he's afraid to report what he knows. I need to get out there myself.”

“Out there?” she asked incredulously. “What do you mean ‘out there'?”

“Out looking for my own leads, which means we need to get married as soon as possible.”

“Nick, I was a person of interest in the case.”

“You've been cleared.”

“Still, what about my family's involvement? Marrying me could put you under a glass ceiling, preventing you from ever advancing in your career.”

“Not marrying you could do the same,” I argued. “Either way, now that you're back in my life the circumstances don't mesh with my career. I'll repair that later, but right now I need to protect you, more than ever.” Her eyes widened with fear. “I don't want to scare you, Angela, but you and I need to be on the same page. In these kinds of situations, fear sometimes is the only thing to keep you on your toes. Having no secrets between us is non-negotiable, being married protects those secrets.”

I would've loved to change the subject, and spare her the gory details, but keeping her sheltered wasn't the proper approach. What I would know, she'd have to know, and vice versa. Naiveté wasn't a quality that fared well against the Mob. Being involved in this world meant I'd seen it all, and my gut told me she didn't have a clue what those men were truly capable of. Her cousin had purposely shielded her from it, and I appreciated it…but she was on my watch now.

“When was the last time you actually spoke to Luca?”

“Yesterday. Eve told him we've reconciled. He was happy for us.”

“I need his number.”

“Of course.”

“I also need to know what was said during your last conversation with David.”

Her eyes looked up briefly before she said, “He told me he loved me.”

At my raised brow she added, “He'd never use those words, Nick…ever. It was a long-standing joke between us. Even when we were kids, and I'd follow him around like a puppy dog, I'd always tell him I loved him and his response would be, ‘If you loved me you wouldn't be so annoying.' So, whenever I said that I loved him, he'd quip, ‘What you do is annoy me.' When he used the actual words, I knew something was wrong.” Tears shimmered in her eyes, making them look like they sparkled.

“And that was the day before Ronnie was murdered?”

“Yes. Something's happened to him.”

The way she hurt was killing me. Wrapping my arms around her, I pulled her close, kissing the top of her head, and promising that I'd find David.

Silence settled over us while we were both lost in our thoughts. “Nick?” When I leaned back to see her face she asked, “We need this marriage to look legit, right?”

“Well, yeah.” Her question confused me. Did she assume we were only marrying on paper? A few days ago that assumption would have been legit, but things had changed.

“I know you're only marrying me because of this case. I mean, let's be real, you wouldn't have proposed to me if Ronnie's murder weren't a huge factor, right?”

“Well, probably not yet.” She stiffened against me.

“That's my point. I can't have you changing all your plans because of us.”

“Angela, I wouldn't be here if I didn't want to be.” In spite of her posture, I tightened my hold around her. “Yes, if the case weren't hovering over our heads then no, we probably wouldn't be getting married in a matter of days…but, I don't have a doubt in my mind we would be sooner than later. In fact, if we hadn't separated two years ago, I also don't have a doubt in my mind you'd be wearing my ring by now. When I left Chicago, I knew I wanted you in my life.” I allowed a few seconds to pass for her to absorb my words. The scowl on her face softened as she stared into my eyes. “I love you, and I want you and my son to be mine. If things were different, I would have planned a romantic proposal and then married you in front of our friends and family. And I still hope to do that, but for now, I need to be legally tied to you as soon as possible, especially if I'm ever subpoenaed.”

“Thank you for saying all that.”

“It's the absolute truth. I'll never lie to you.”

Remorse crossed over her features. “I'll never lie to you ever again, Nick. I promise.”

“I know.” I placed a soft kiss on her parted lips. “When do you get off work today?”

“Not until six.”

“We need to apply for the license.”

“I can take an extended lunch. I was planning on speaking to Eve today about cutting back my hours for the next few weeks.”

I couldn't pretend her admission didn't please me. “I would never ask you to do that, Angela, but I'm glad you decided to.”

“I know you wouldn't. We have a lot to work out, with us, with…my family. I need to prioritize my personal life. I can't concentrate when I have so much on my mind with David. My parents gave me money when I arrived in New York, just in case. I never touched it, so I can afford to take a bit of time off and use it to pay the rent.”

“We don't need to touch your savings, I plan on supporting you.”

“Nick, I can't expect you to do that.”

“Don't argue with me over that, please. I make a very nice living, Angela. I will support my wife and child.”

My eyes cut across her tiny, compact apartment. Yes, Nicholas had his own room, but the rest of the apartment was one square consisting of living room and kitchen. The futon served as her bed, the hall closet was where her clothes hung. The apartment wasn't overcrowded or jammed, but it was obviously minimalistic for a reason…it was minuscule.

“Baby, I know that you want to keep things as normal as possible for our son, and I agree, but he's only a year old. He'll adapt. My place has two bedrooms, and a lot more space.” Her body language once again spoke volumes. “What?”

“I'm scared. I'm afraid that if things don't work, or if something goes wrong…I…”

Taking her hand, I waited for her to collect her thoughts. There were so many things I could have said, but I needed to hear what she was trying yet failing to verbalize. “Talk to me.”

Her eyes met mine in a defeated stare. “Now that I have you again, I don't want to ever go back to feeling that desperation I felt in Ohio, or once I arrived here in New York. I finally feel whole, and I don't want to lose you again.”

“Neither do I. All we can do, Angela, is to keep communicating, keep trusting, and keep remembering this amazing connection that we share.”

We still had much to iron out, but our conversation left me feeling better by the time I drove her to work. I could also see the relief she felt as that light I fell in love with, that I missed seeing, was slowly returning in her eyes.

During the hours we were apart while she was working, I buried myself in the documents and files that sat ominously in my apartment. I also called Luca.

The conversation started awkwardly. Pretending not to beat around the bush, he came right out and said what he was thinking. “Listen, I'm worried that you're in it for Nicholas and only Nicholas.”

“A few days ago you would have been right, but not anymore.”

A long pause stretched over the phone, and I waited for him to speak first. “I completely understand every single part of the emotional roller coaster you endured this past week, including how you feel now. I hope you forgave her. She did everything she thought she needed to do to protect Nicholas.”

“I know, and I have.”

Once we got all that out of the way, I wanted to swap facts regarding David's disappearance.

Luca was baffled. “Silas and I covered every one of our tracks, and made sure none of them led to any of the Cavellos.”

“We can't be too sure that either family hasn't gotten to him.”

“I know that.”

So, if the Delarros and Puccis had no knowledge of the Cavellos' involvement, then where the fuck was David?

“One more thing. Anything on your dad?”

“Nothing yet.”

“Luca, you're running out of time. If Delarro's men find out…”

“I know,” he cut me off. “I'm being very careful.”

My morning flew, and the time to get over to the marriage license bureau came quickly. On our ride, she filled me in on her conversation with Eve regarding her hours. Eve immediately agreed, in exchange for a sit-down with the four of us. The thought of a sit-down with those two, although I knew it was completely necessary, was not something I looked forward to.

When I dropped Angela back off at work, I let her know that I'd be back at the end of her day so we could pick up our son from daycare, and I could show her my apartment…our apartment.

My afternoon went much like my morning did, with the exception of a phone call to George.

“David was questioned the day after you were put on leave. At that point, Rupert was still working on trying to identify one suspicious man we saw on the security tapes we retrieved from Ronnie's building.”

“So, still nothing on David Cavello?”

“Nothing. His alibi was weak. The contact info he supplied was a dead end. Rupert was positive David was the mystery man seen on the tape entering and leaving Ronnie's building, and he is dead set on finding David one way or another.”

“George, please let me know when David is found and brought down for questioning again. At least then I'll know he's still alive.”

“I'll try.” I continued to listen as George came right out and said that he wasn't going to be able to keep his promise of keeping me informed. “Sorry, Nick.”

“Don't worry about it. It's better this way.” His admission was actually a relief, and I told him so. “I never felt right putting you in such a compromising position. This way, anything I find out and any consequences will fall on me, as they should.”

“Just be careful, Nick. Rupert would not be happy if he knew you stole all those files. Great agent or not, he'll have your nuts if he finds out.”

“He won't find out.”

After I picked her up at the store, we picked up Nicholas from daycare and a pizza for dinner. It wasn't long after when the three of us stood in the doorway of my apartment.

“Oh my God, Nick. It's gorgeous,” she said when I opened the door.

I always thought my place was small, but compared to hers it seemed much more spacious than it was. Ironically, when I'd found it, it had been with her in mind. I imagined her there, with me. I assumed she'd be the one to help me fill it with furniture. I pictured her in my bed as the woman I made love to. I waited a very long time to decorate, refusing to have more than the bare necessities. It wasn't until I met Stacie that I finally made it more than just an empty shell of a home. Having Angela there seemed surreal.

I held Nicholas while she slowly walked around, taking it all in. My place was nothing but masculine, mostly blacks, grays, whites. It desperately needed feminine touches. Stacie had tried to guide me in a softer direction, but she'd lost that battle. In hindsight, even then I was subconsciously staving off things becoming more serious between us.

The smile on Angela's face made me feel happy that I had. Every so often, she'd ask a question.

“We'll have to do some baby-proofing.”

“Absolutely.”

No sooner did she say that than Nicholas's eyes landed on the three decorative metal balls that sat on a shelf. “Ball! Ball!”

“Pizza?” Angela countered. The war between demanding the balls and agreeing to the pizza was evident on his lovable little face. “Ready for pizza, little man?”

“Peatz.”

Angela smiled when our eyes met. “You'll find that distraction is a parent's best friend.”