Glass Ceilings (21 page)

Together, Angela and I had packed some of the things she didn't need to prepare her for the move. Boxes now took up most of her living room, piled neatly in the corner. It'd been a challenge to keep Nicholas from attempting to scale the pile every chance he got.

Once they left to begin their day, I searched for the box labeled “photos.” Determinedly, I scoured the albums looking for any pictures of David I could find. Based on one of the most recent pictures Angela had of him I instantly concluded it had to have been her brother that I saw in Central Park. The picture was taken at Nicholas's birthday party and clearly showed David in the same stance he held at the park. His back was rigid, his head tilted up. It was the military stance that only those who were used to standing at attention would continue to do so, even when not on duty.

I found some other photos, mostly of her family. Part of me felt I was invading her privacy, although knowing my wife she'd love that I was looking at them. Keeping to my promise to not withhold secrets from her, I planned on telling her I thought I might have seen David. The only reason why I held back mentioning it to her already was because I didn't want to ruin our wedding weekend.

For the rest of the day, I concentrated on rereading the files I stole from headquarters. When frustration hit because nothing stood out, I called Ben, anxious for something, anything, that could possibly open a door.

Ben said he'd search the NYPD database for anything he could find regarding the Delarro-Pucci war that was raging in New York. Sometimes NYPD intelligence files picked up things the Feds may have missed, or vice versa. I also asked him to run David's name through the system to see if anything came up.

Upon hearing a key in the lock, I glanced at my watch and realized it was later than I thought. Angela was coming straight home after she left the store, and then we'd go pick up Nicholas together. She walked in to find me still looking at her photos.

“Hey,” she said glancing at the open album on my lap.

“Hey, baby,” I said distractedly.

“Whatcha looking at?” Dropping her bag and keys on the small wooden table by the door, she then came over to kiss me chastely. I waited for her to sit beside me before showing her the photo I was studying.

“I needed to check something out.”

“David?”

“Right after the ceremony on Saturday, I was scanning the crowd that gathered and somebody caught my eye. He was standing off in the distance watching us. He didn't look the type to be interested in a wedding, kind of stuck out from the rest.”

Her eyes widened immediately. “You think he was there?”

“I'm not positive. He wore a hoodie and dark glasses, making it impossible to see his hair or his eyes.” My eyes cut to the picture of David that I'd been staring at for a good part of the day. “But now after seeing this picture, it could have been him. They have the same build, same posture.”

“So, he's okay.” She wasn't asking, more so validating.

“Baby, don't get your hopes up. It might not have been him.”

“Why didn't you say something Saturday?” I could hear the hurt in her voice.

“As quick as he was there, he was gone. I didn't want to ruin our weekend. When was the last time you called or texted his number?”

“Um…right before the wedding. I left the usual message I've been leaving every day for the past week. I asked him to please call us, that we just wanted to make sure he was okay.”

“Did you mention we were getting married in the park?”

“I did. I rambled on for longer than usual, saying how Eve, being Eve, took our original plans and threw them out the window. I told him about us going out to see my parents, and then mentioned the time and place of where the ceremony would be. I really had no idea if he was even hearing my messages, so it was a long shot.” She shook her head in disbelief. “Even if he was listening, I had no expectations that he'd actually show up.”

“Well, if it was him, at least we now know he is listening to your voicemails.”

“How will we ever know?”

“I don't know, baby. I'm working on it.” Skimming my gaze over her face, I leaned in to kiss her, wanting nothing more than to remove the stress that had settled around her eyes. “Ready to pick up our son?”

She nodded saying, “Yep, I'm ready.” But the look in her eyes had her somewhere far away, no doubt with her brother.

As a workaholic bachelor, I used to consider my apartment just a well-decorated space that served its purpose. The glass furniture and cold, impersonal touches that I'd once hidden behind were now replaced with real life. My leather couches along with her walnut tables and fun, colorful pillows complemented each other perfectly. My son's toys now occupied a corner of the living room. His clunky high chair replaced the center stool at the kitchen island. My tub was filled with bath toys and waterproof books. His freshly painted room was a perfect duplicate of his old one. From the position of his crib to the placement of his toy box, it was exactly the same as it had been at Angela's place.

He had taken over my world, and I couldn't be happier.

His mother, my wife, had taken over my world in her own way. Yes, her clothes hung beside mine in our closet, and pictures that had decorated her small living room now decorated mine. The fridge and cabinets had food in it, real food. Her coffeemaker sat on the countertop. Every single thing that she added to our apartment made it a home. But the real way they took over couldn't be seen.

Deep in my chest, with every breath I took, I knew they controlled my heartbeat. My love for them overwhelmed me.

As a welcome-home present, I ran out and got a new train set for Nicholas, and set it up so it was waiting for him when he arrived. I also surprised Angela by duplicating the bed linens from The Plaza as best I could. It wasn't hard to do. One phone call to Eve and handing over my Amex card number was all it took to have the same linens, duvet, pillows, and mattress topper that we both fell in love with delivered to my doorstep. I even told Eve to purchase one of their robes for Angela as well. I couldn't wait to get her in that bed once our son fell asleep.

As a father, a husband, I now had a home. We were finally living in our home as a family. Spending the time at Angela's felt temporary. In my heart I knew I wanted them here to finally feel complete. That didn't mean that I felt calm or settled.

Waiting for Ben to get what I requested had been killing me. Little had been accomplished this past week regarding Ronnie's case due to the melding of my and Angela's lives. It made me antsy and anxious. My leave of absence sat heavy on my mind, all the facts I didn't know or hadn't discovered consumed my thoughts. I guess it was a good thing my heart was in a good place since my head was all sorts of fucked up.

Angela misinterpreted my anxiousness for unhappiness. Part of me wanted to spare her the reasons, but that would contradict what I'd been preaching regarding complete honesty between us. I assured her that even though my mind was elsewhere, my heart was in her hands.

I never wanted her to feel insecure regarding my feelings for her. It took almost two years for me to have what I desperately wanted. Put aside the heartbreak she caused or the many days when I felt so lost I couldn't process my purpose any longer. Subconsciously, I only now realized that I always hoped and maybe even knew we'd reunite some day. Looking back, everything I did in my life was a temporary fix. Even my relationship with Stacie was kept at arm's length, using our careers as the reason it never progressed. Personally, I was stuck in a state of limbo, and this now was what I was waiting for. I literally felt like I'd been given a second chance, and no way was I letting her go ever again.

Tonight was our first night at home. Nicholas was happily moving around the room, exploring his new surroundings. He adorably suffered from new-toy ADD, moving from the train set that stretched across my rug to the toy box holding a new assortment of trucks and back to the train set.

Angela poured herself a glass of wine and grabbed me a Heineken.

“Thanks, baby,” I said raising my arm so she could fit up against me.

“Ella called today to invite us to their beach house this weekend. Would you like to go?”

“Sure, sounds great.”

“Okay, I'll call her in the morning.” She pointed to our son and voiced out loud, “And you were worried he wouldn't be happy here.”

“Yeah, he looks pretty happy, doesn't he?” I said smugly.

“Well, you did bribe him with all this new stuff.”

“Not a bribe, simply a negotiation.” I kissed the top of her head, and Nicholas only then realized we were both on the couch watching him. He walked over and handed me one of his trains. “Thanks, buddy. What color is this?”

“Wed.”

“Good boy.” I leaned over him to kiss the top of his head. He snatched the train from my hand and wobbled back to his train set.

“Is this how you imagined your life would be?” Angela asked quietly.

“Honestly?” She met my stare and nodded solemnly. “It's more than I could have imagined.”

I could feel the weight of her stare as I navigated my black Mustang through the seaside streets of Long Beach.

“What?” I asked, amused by the smirk on her face.

“Those aviators make you look like such a badass.”

I chuckled at her statement. “I am a badass.”

“A hot one.” Her simple declaration immediately affected me.

“How hot?”

She leaned in placing her lips on my ear, and whispered, “Promise me you'll wear them later, and nothing else.”

“That can be arranged.” I turned my head just enough to capture her lips before she sat back into her seat. In spite of all I had going on in my mind she sucked me into her infectious good mood.

“It's so pretty here,” Angela said, staring at the view as we coasted down Oceanview Avenue. Visiting Ben and Ella's place didn't happen often enough, yet whenever I did I could feel the stress leave my body and waft away, right out my opened sunroof.

The air was cool but the sun warmed it enough to make it comfortable. “We'll have to come here this summer with Nicholas. Has he ever been in the ocean?”

“No, he hasn't,” she admitted with a smile. “Maybe I was waiting for you to take him.”

Suddenly I didn't want to wait until summer to witness my son splashing around in a warm sea. “Maybe we'll take him on a real honeymoon with us this winter in the Caribbean. It'll give us something to look forward to during the season that I despise so much.”

“I'd love that, and so would he. I remember you telling me in Chicago that you hated the snow and cold.”

“The best part of that winter was a certain tryst in a hot tub.” Lifting our entwined hands, I planted a kiss on hers. “I can't get the image of you in that hot black bikini out of my head.” I glanced her way sporting a salacious grin.

“I didn't wear a bikini that night,” she said, obviously confused by my comment.

“I'm talking about the picture of you at your friend's pool when you were pregnant with Nicholas.”

“Ugh, Nick, I looked like a cow in that picture.”

“You looked gorgeous in that picture. Pregnancy suited you.”

“You're delusional. I wasn't pleasant while pregnant. Toward the end, cranky became my nickname. It was so hot that summer, stifling in Ohio. I was huge and miserable. I couldn't move, and all I did my last few weeks was sit in that pool. Dawn would deliver my lunch as I floated in the pool like a beached whale.” She laughed at the memory, causing me to smile. “I used to…” She stopped abruptly, turning her head toward her window.

“What?”

“I used to imagine you rubbing my shoulders while I sat on the steps of her pool.” She turned toward me, and I could feel her eyes watching me. At my silence she squeezed my hand between both of hers and whispered, “I'm sorry.”

“I know you are.”

Just thinking of her swollen with my child and imagining the feel of her skin beneath my touch as I held her belly made me yearn for it to happen. Those thoughts caused the tiny seed of resentment that I carried to predictably prickle inside my chest.

Even though the resentment I felt lessened with each passing day, I couldn't stop it when it tried to surface. The pattern where she'd feel guilty and I'd feel resentment would continue to cause tension between us. Together we ached for different reasons. That had to be expected, and we needed to learn how to work through it. I needed to work through it and come to terms with it, because I knew without a doubt my resentment toward her didn't compare in intensity to my love for her.

The silence continued until she said, “I love you. I look forward to making wonderful memories with you.”

“I know, me too.” I kissed her hand again, hoping to lessen the guilt she felt.

We pulled up to Ben's house, finding him on the pebble stone driveway getting out of his car.

“Hey, perfect timing,” he said, coming over to open Angela's door for her.

“I love this.” She leaned up and kissed him on the cheek. “Thanks for having us out.”

“It's our pleasure. Hey, man,” he said to me when I stepped around the car to exchange a handshake. “Ella is just putting Virginia down.” He peered into the backseat to see Nicholas passed out cold. “Looks like she'll have a napping buddy today.”

“He'll be good for a while, he only fell asleep like ten minutes ago. Kept jabbering the whole way.”

We emptied the car of one diaper bag, a backpack full of toys, a bottle of wine, a bakery dessert, and one sleeping child.

Ben laughed at our haul. “I'd ask you if you were moving in, but after having Ginnie, I completely get it.”

Ben looked so relaxed, so happy. He'd changed from the uptight cop I'd met when I first came to New York. We didn't always get along, especially when I was handling his wife's case. I carry some guilt over that, and how it ended. I felt I screwed up, and hadn't quite understood the magnitude of what every detail meant to Ben at the time. I couldn't understand how he felt as the boyfriend, and often lost my patience when he wasn't thinking as a cop. I got it now…I completely got it.

Nicholas squeezed my neck as we walked into the house, sending that jolt of emotion through me. What I held in my arms was what mattered. Having Angela beside me, loving me completely as she did, was also what mattered. Nothing else mattered but where we were at that moment, together and in love. I needed to stop the past from stealing my present.

Ben helped Angela carry the bags into the house. He pointed to the top half of the house, which was under construction. “Excuse the mess. The guys are off today, so we won't be subjected to the noise. It'd probably be easier if we just moved, but we love it here too much. We also realized it's too small once Virginia arrived. It's funny how one little baby can take over an entire house.”

I knew exactly what he meant.

“It's going to be amazing,” Angela said as we walked into their seaside cottage.

“Eventually, the first floor will only be a living room, kitchen, and den. We're moving the three bedrooms upstairs, and adding another. Once they start construction downstairs, we'll have to move for a few months. I'm seriously not looking forward to that.” Ben dropped our stuff and stood proudly in the small kitchen. I knew he loved it there mainly because Ella did.

Angela stood openmouthed, taking in the Stones' beautiful home. The entire back of the house was glass windows that faced the beach. I remembered the first time I saw this place, I'd instantly yearned for an escape of my own. Sadly, Stacie was with me that day, yet I never pictured her in my daydream. Standing there now beside Angela, the visual that popped into my head was an entirely different one and it showcased the three of us.

“This is amazing, Ben. I wouldn't want to ever leave,” Angela said, slowly walking toward the glass doors leading to the deck.

“We take it for granted a bit now, but when we got here it was overwhelmingly beautiful. Ella would sit and stare at the ocean for hours.” Ben looked my way and pointed to the hallway. “You want to put him in our room? We can put down a chaise cushion on the floor for him.”

“He'll probably do better in his stroller,” Angela said. “I'll go grab it from the car.”

Once Angela had shut the front door behind her, Ben pulled a slim flash drive from his back pocket and handed it to me. “Here's everything I could find. There's an APB out on him.”

“Fuck.”

He nodded just as Ella came into the room. “Hey, Nick.” When she saw Nicholas slumped over my shoulder sleeping she lowered her voice. “Will he wake up if you put him down?”

“He shouldn't. Ang went to get his stroller.”

A few minutes later, the babies were napping in separate rooms and the four of us were settled on the couch. The ladies were having wine, Ben and I, beer.

Angela was flipping through a photo album of Virginia's birth. “I love her name,” she said as Ella sat beside her.

“It's Virginia Carol, after our moms.” Ella glanced at Ben with a smile. “We call her Ginnie. Does Nicholas have a middle name?”

“David, after my brother.”

Sadness passed over Angela's features causing Ella to change the subject. She began filling in Angela on how she and Ben met, and how her best friend was a huge factor in their finally getting together. Conversation between them flowed easily. Angela was right in that she and Ella had a lot in common. If they'd lived closer, I didn't doubt they'd hang out often.

It would be great for Angela to have someone other than Eve, not that I didn't appreciate Eve. I just felt Angela needed someone in her life that understood what she was going through. Angela's and Ella's stories may have been different, but the end results were similar. They both had to fight for what they loved, where Eve's happiness came very easily, just as everything in her life had.

Ben made small talk for my benefit. Based on the look on his face, he knew exactly what I was thinking. My mind was reeling with the very strong possibility that my brother-in-law was guilty of killing Ronnie. If true, that would absolutely devastate her. This was fucking bad.

A soft cry from the bedrooms had the girls investigating, leaving us alone in the living room discussing the Yankees.

“I'm going to have to tell her,” I said, lowering my voice while staring at the beer label I picked at distractedly.

“Read through the files on the flash I gave you. Maybe something will jump out. You're a lot closer to this case than I am.”

“Nothing is jumping out, that's the problem,” I huffed in frustration. “What if I miss something? This is my life, not some random low-life scum that I'm used to investigating. The prick mentality and FBI logic that I always depended on is failing me, and that's scaring the shit out of me.”

“I know exactly what you're going through. Did you forget what I went through with her?” he said, pointing toward the hall. “I sat in that room when you exposed her real identity feeling like someone was taking my insides and running them through a paper shredder. Your priority is Angela and the baby. You can't control what David did or how it affects his life. Those are choices he made, not her.”

“It's not just that my brother-in-law is a suspect in the murder of a mobster. I still don't know if Ronnie's obsession with Angela put her on the Delarro radar. What if the rest of the Delarros know about my wife, my son?”

“Nick, if they knew about Angela, they'd have gotten to her by now.”

A violent chill ran through my body at the thought.

Ben waited a pause before saying, “As your friend, I'm reminding you to calm down and do what you're a master at. Remember your tactics, and apply them now. Logic and clearly running through all the facts was what made you the best in the field. Thinking like them, knowing what their next move would be before they made it.”

“You're right,” I agreed, although I wasn't feeling as optimistic I hoped I sounded.

Once the kids woke, we took them for a walk on the beach. My son took one look at the ocean and chanted, “Whim…whim.”

“No swim today, little man. It's too cold. Want to play ball?”

“Ball!” He ran toward Angela as she held out a tiny football. He was still unsteady on his feet, and I couldn't help but laugh at the way he looked drunk while running across the sand. He fell more than he stepped, no doubt due to the pound of sand that probably pooled in his tiny Nike sneakers. One thing I could count on was my son distracting my thoughts just by being adorable. He swayed his way back to us with a huge smile on his face.

Ben and I took turns tossing it to him while the girls watched from the deck. Angela held five-month-old Virginia on her lap, laughing at something Ella had said.

My cell buzzed in my pocket, and I removed it to see a number I didn't recognize. “Ben, I should take this,” I said before answering the call.

He nodded and lifted Nicholas. “Let's go see Ginnie, little man,” he said, carrying my son back to the house.

“Hello.”

“Nick Farley?”

“Yes.”

“It's Luca Cavello.”

“I didn't recognize the number.”

“I'm not on my cell.” I remained silent on my end, immediately feeling unease over him calling me. Quickly glancing toward the house, I could see Angela's concern as she stood watching me from the deck. The call crackled, making me think we got disconnected. Only when I heard him clear his throat did I realize he was still on the other end. “Listen, this is a burner line that David and I set up. He just texted me today.”

“What did he say?”

“ ‘Find Gortez,' and he sent a picture of a dude I assume is Gortez getting into a black car.”

“That's it?”

“That's it.”

The name sounded familiar. It came up in the paperwork I had on the Pucci clan. If I remembered correctly, Gortez ran the illegal gun ring out of Georgia and the Feds had been watching him for months.

If David knew Gortez killed Ronnie that could account for the reason he was hiding. But why not just go to the Feds with this info?

“Send it to me, and let me know if he sends anything else.”

“Absolutely.”

When Luca disconnected, I quickly dialed George's number. He answered hesitantly.

“I know there's an APB out on my brother-in-law. Why didn't you tell me?”

“Nick, I've had my hands tied in this fucking case.”

“Who was on the tapes coming out of Ronnie's building? Was it David Cavello?”

“Yes. Rupert finally found someone to positively ID him both coming and going.”

“Just a heads-up, that's all I asked for.”

“And I said I'd try. Nick, Rupert is making my life a fucking hell. I'm on probation.”

“What?” I asked incredulously.