It was a good line, and I felt myself flush with pleasure. A part of me was jumping up and down and screaming “don’t be such a baby!” It was, after all, just a kiss.
But I couldn’t help remembering Kimber’s warnings. Ethan was a player, and no matter how hot he was, I didn’t want to be his toy.
“I don’t think this is a good idea,” I said, and I tried to slide off his lap.
I wasn’t completely shocked when his hold on me tightened. “You don’t have to be afraid of me,” he said.
It was another good line. Striking at my vanity, daring me to prove I wasn’t afraid. But it was much too obviously a line, and I wasn’t about to fall for it.
“Let go of me.” I said it calmly, though there was a hint of panic in my core. If he wanted to press the issue, I’d be in no position to stop him. So I guess technically, yeah, I was a bit afraid of him.
I was all tensed up for battle, so I was pleasantly surprised when Ethan slid me off his lap and put some distance between us. He didn’t even look annoyed with me.
“Better?” he asked, with one of his lopsided grins.
I doubted he was used to being turned down by anyone, but it sure seemed like he was taking it in stride. Which made me feel guilty for being so suspicious. If he were really playing me, surely he wouldn’t have let me go so easily.
I let out a frustrated huff. Maybe he was right that I should stop thinking so much. But I didn’t know how to turn it off. I clasped my hands in my lap and stared at them, wondering what was wrong with me. When a guy like Ethan kissed me, I should turn into a puddle of goo, not analyze it half to death. Maybe I was frigid.
“Don’t look so miserable,” Ethan said. “You’re allowed to say no.”
I risked a glance at him, and still saw no sign of annoyance or frustration on his face.
Then—totally against my will, I swear—my eyes darted downward, and I could see that, while he wasn’t acting angry or anything, he was still real eager for my no to change to a yes. Naturally, I looked away quickly, but my face heated with yet another blush.
In one of her sober moments, when my mom had insisted we have “the talk” despite the fact that I’d known about the birds and the bees practically forever, she’d warned me that boys like to claim they are in dire pain when they are that excited and you don’t put out. Since I was sure Ethan had noticed the direction of my gaze, and he’d have to be blind not to see how hard I was blushing, I thought now would be the perfect time for him to start laying on a guilt trip. But he didn’t.
Ethan laughed, but it was a warm, friendly sound with no hint of mockery in it. “It won’t kill me,” he said. “And remember, I promised I wasn’t going to take advantage of you. I keep my promises. All I wanted was to kiss you.”
“Really?” I asked, and I’m sure I sounded as incredulous as I felt. I glanced at him through my eyelashes.
“Why would you find that so hard to believe?”
“Well, uh. You’re … uh, older than me. And, uh…” Oh God, please kill me now. I didn’t want to be having this conversation, and I surely didn’t want to be making such a fool of myself. But my brain hadn’t recovered from its earlier shutdown, and I couldn’t seem to get a coherent sentence out of my mouth.
Ethan put me out of my misery by saying what I’d been too prudish to say. “Just because I’m not a virgin doesn’t mean kissing has become only a means to an end. Believe it or not, I actually find it’s nice all by itself.” He gave me one of those sexy, quirky grins of his, and it made my insides flutter.
“So all you want is a kiss?” I asked. A little voice in my head said I was heading for one of those slippery slopes. I told the little voice to shut up.
“Well, maybe more than
one
. But basically, yeah.”
Still, I hesitated.
“Look,” he said, “if I try to push you to do something you don’t want, you’ll balk, and then you’ll never trust me again. I’m not going to risk that.”
My shoulders sagged a bit. It got real tiring, being on the defensive all the time, always keeping my eyes open for potential threats. I’d had to do it for as long as I could remember, because there was no way I could trust my mom to protect us. I was sick of it, and part of the reason I’d come to Avalon was to try to get away from that constant, ponderous weight of responsibility. So to hell with Kimber’s warnings, and to hell with my own misgivings!
I raised my chin and made myself look straight into Ethan’s eyes as if I had all the courage in the world. “All right.”
I didn’t sit on Ethan’s lap this time, just sidled up beside him and offered up my mouth. When his lips touched mine, I felt a jolt, kind of like an electric shock that ran all through my body, from the tips of my toes to the ends of my hair, and suddenly it was surprisingly easy to stop thinking and just feel.
He teased me with gentle kisses, and I gasped with pleasure. He didn’t have to urge me to open my mouth this time, and his tongue darted in for a taste. Another jolt of that delicious electricity flowed through me, and I wrapped my arms around his neck, delighting in the taste and feel of him. My limbs felt all tingly, and it was like a layer of fog shrouded my head.
I breathed in Ethan’s scent, relished the warmth of his body, devoured his cherry-tasting kisses, and my common sense didn’t have a thing to say about it. Somehow, I ended up lying down on the cot, my head on the pillow while Ethan bent over me, his chest against mine. In a distant corner of my mind, I noticed his weight was pressing the cameo into my skin, and that it was once again strangely warm. Then he started stroking up and down my side over my shirt, and I stopped thinking at all. He was keeping his distance from anything … sensitive, but my body was fully aware of the possibilities. If my mouth hadn’t been otherwise occupied, I might have asked him to break his word.
His tongue began to slide in and out of my mouth in a suggestive rhythm that actually made me groan. My every nerve ending tingled, and warmth gathered in my center, and it felt so, so good. …
Like I said, I wasn’t really
thinking
, and my head was foggy at best, but I guess on some subconscious level, my guard never goes down completely. The tingling, the warmth, the foggy head … they all reminded me of something. They reminded me of how I’d felt when I’d drunk Kimber’s extra-strong posset.
The realization was like a splash of cold water, and the fog dissipated like it had never been there. There was most definitely something wrong with this picture. I couldn’t have gone from the bundle of raw nerves I’d been a few moments ago to this relaxed, comfortable, sensual woman I was now. Not without some outside help, that is. I pushed on Ethan’s chest, and was relieved that he actually stopped. My breath came short, and my pulse was still rocketing, but I knew for sure Ethan had done something. Other than kiss me, that is.
“What did you do to me?” I demanded, struggling to sit up.
Ethan didn’t even try to pretend he didn’t know what I meant. “Take it easy,” he said. “It was just a little spell to help you relax.”
I was on my feet moments later, staring at Ethan in absolute horror. “You mean you have some kind of a roofie spell?” I cried. Humiliation heated my face, made me want to curl up in a ball and die. Could I
be
any more naive? Why hadn’t I listened to Kimber?
He frowned, like he was actually surprised by my reaction. “No. Nothing like that.” He stood up and took a step toward me.
I didn’t think then. I just reacted with all the hurt and fury and, yes, fear in my body. When he reached for me, I jerked my knee up, and I got him just where it hurt most. He doubled over, clutching his privates. Shaking with delayed reaction, I grabbed the kerosene lamp and dashed out into the tunnel, hoping against hope that my sense of direction for once wouldn’t fail me.
Tears flowed down my cheeks as I ran, trying to keep count of the tunnels as I passed so I’d turn down the right one, while also trying to put as much distance as possible between me and that horrible room before Ethan recovered. I didn’t even bother dashing the tears away, just kept running until my lungs begged for oxygen and the muscles in my legs burned. I made the two turns that should then put me on a path straight to civilization, but I saw no sign of the nightclub and the stairway to the surface, nor did I hear the distant echo of voices. I kept running, hoping I’d just misjudged the distance, but there was still nothing. I tried doubling back to see if I’d made a wrong turn, but I’d lost track of how far I’d come and only ended up getting myself more confused.
Panic flickered at the edges of my mind as I realized I was now officially lost. I kept running, trying to retrace my steps, trying to keep moving so I wouldn’t have to face the panic that continued to build in my brain.
Eventually, I had to stop, exhaustion winning out over horror. I collapsed to the tunnel floor and sucked in great gulps of air, so winded that for a moment I thought I was going to throw up.
That nightclub was down here somewhere, and it couldn’t be all that far away, I told myself. Plus, Ethan had mentioned there were other populated areas down here. Even if I couldn’t find the nightclub, I should eventually be able to find some sign of civilization. Just because I was lost didn’t mean I was going to die, no matter how … alarming it was.
With a groan, I forced myself to my feet. I was so tired and wrung out I didn’t know how I could face the seemingly impossible task of getting myself out of here. But it wasn’t like I had much of a choice. I glanced at the lantern and shuddered to realize the kerosene wouldn’t last forever.
I trudged for what seemed like miles, trying to keep going in a straight line on the assumption that if I kept going straight, eventually I’d get to the other side of the mountain and there’d be an exit. But whenever I started to feel like I was making progress, the tunnel would dead end, or take a sudden, sharp turn. For all I knew, I was going in circles.
My feet and legs ached, and the kerosene was looking dangerously low, and I was so scared I could barely function. I stopped in the middle of a corridor that looked just like all the others, and I sat with my back against the wall, giving myself a minute or two of precious rest before I hurled myself back out into the darkness again.
I drew my knees up to my chest and let my head rest against them. I figured crying would be a reasonable thing to do right about now, but my eyes remained dry. I’d hit a kind of emotional overload, and I felt numb and listless.
“Can you forgive me enough to let me get you out of here?” Ethan asked, and at first I assumed I’d inadvertently drifted off to sleep.
I lifted my head, and there he was, about ten feet away from me, sitting with his back to the wall just like I was. He had a flashlight in his hand, and he barely resembled the cocky, cheerful Fae I’d come to know. His shoulders were slumped, his head bowed, the expression on his face bleak.
Obviously, I had to be dreaming, one of those wishful-thinking dreams. Though I had to admit, it felt awfully real. “This
has
to be a dream,” I mumbled out loud. “There’s no way you could have found me.”
“Not if I’d lost you in the first place,” he said, fidgeting with the flashlight, turning it round and round in his hands. “I run fast, and you were carrying a light, so I was able to catch up with you before you got too far away. I figured you needed time to cool off, so I kept my distance until now.”
You mean you kept your distance until you were sure I knew I couldn’t get out of here by myself
, I thought but didn’t say. I decided this wasn’t a dream after all, but I had approximately zero desire to talk to Ethan right now, so I just stared at him coldly.
The cold stare might have been more effective if he were actually looking at me, but he was still fascinated with that flashlight.
“The spell didn’t take away your free will, Dana,” he said to the flashlight. “If it had, then you wouldn’t have been able to snap out of it. It was just a simple calming spell. It’s not like it made you do something you hadn’t already agreed to.”
“Okay,” I said, forgetting my plan not to speak to him, “so instead of it being like a roofie, it’s kind of like getting your date drunk in hopes that you’ll get lucky.”
His head snapped up, and he looked at me for the first time. “It’s not that either!” he said, and there was some heat in his words. That seemed to embarrass him, and he looked away again. His voice softened. “I just thought you’d enjoy it more if you weren’t so nervous. I get that it was a stupid thing to do. But there wasn’t any malice in it, and I had no intention of taking advantage of you. I’m sorry I was an idiot.”
My breath whooshed out on a sigh. He looked so dejected it was hard to doubt that he meant what he said. But I wasn’t even close to ready to forgive him yet. “You remember how you said if you tried anything, I’d never trust you again? Well, as far as I’m concerned, you tried something. And I don’t trust you.”
He actually flinched, and I almost felt bad about it. Almost.
“Understood,” he said. “But I presume you’ll accept my help getting out of here even so.”
“And go where?”
“Wherever you want.”
I chewed that one over for a bit. I sure as hell didn’t want to go back to that nasty little room in the tunnels, but I didn’t want to find myself stuck with Aunt Grace, either. Not until I’d had time to consider my options, at least. I had no money or ID, so I still needed help, even though at this point I’d have preferred not to have to depend on anyone. Ethan had just forcibly reminded me that the only person I could ever truly depend on was myself.
“Could you put me up at a hotel incognito?” I asked. It wasn’t what you’d call a long-term solution—I
really
hoped I’d finally be able to get to my dad tomorrow—but it was better than hiding underground or sleeping on Kimber’s sofa while wondering when Aunt Grace would pop in for a surprise inspection.
I could tell Ethan didn’t like the suggestion one bit, but he answered me mildly enough. “You’d be a lot safer in a less public place.”
“If you think I’m staying in that little rat hole of a room, you’re nuts. So unless you’re going to keep me there against my will, it’s a hotel or nothing.”