Glitter on the Web (31 page)

I was on the phone in a second, texting Clem. “
I was right
.”

Clem texted back with a frowny face emogi. “
I know
.”

I leaned on the door, tears running down my face. I cried for Gabby, because I knew all too well the pain she was going through. I knew what it was like to live that double life, to be chased by the demons of perfection all while maintaining an illusion of control. I cried for Eli, who was going to have to console himself that his perfect, beloved sister has some serious problems to fix, or else he might lose her.

I cried for me, because this was the last place I had ever wanted to be again. Just hearing her vomit was enough to trigger painful memories. I could hear the echo of long-dead lies, which very nearly destroyed me once upon a time.

They were lies repeated by those who were supposed to love me the most, who ultimately—even unconsciously—made me feel like the very least.

It had taken years of therapy and a move out west to make me feel somewhat normal again. But in that moment, I knew I was one binge away from losing myself.

Somehow I knew that telling Eli the truth could trigger that one event. I held myself together as best I could and walked to our bedroom.

CHAPTER
NINETEEN

Though the room was dark, Eli was awake when I walked into the bedroom. His eyes followed me but he remained stone still as he watched me circle the bed. He was waiting for something, likely an apology—one I probably owed him for being such an indecisive bitch. Did I hate the man? Or did I love him? And why, on most days, did it feel like one and the same?

It was madness. That was what it was.

I stood helplessly by the bed. “Can we talk?”

He crossed his arms behind his head and rested his head on his palms, adopting a casual demeanor even though those blue eyes were as hard as chips of ice. “What do you want to talk about?”

“Gabby,” I said softly.

He narrowed his eyes, as if he wasn’t expecting that answer. “Your dime,” he said, just as soft.

I sat down on the bed before I ripped the bandage right off. “I think Gabby might be developing an eating disorder.”

That got his attention. He straightened a little. “What makes you say that?”

“I’ve noticed some troublesome patterns. I’ve seen it before,” I said, as generically as possible, “and I just thought you should be aware. She trusts you. Maybe you can help her.”

He sat up, angry with me all over again. “Of course I can help her. But there is nothing wrong with her. But she’s fine. She’s a great kid.”

“Eating disorders are far too complex to dismiss as a character flaw, Eli. You can’t think of it like that, no matter what size she is. It’s not a failure, it’s… it’s a way for these individuals to deal with bigger problems.”

“What is that supposed to mean?”

“Some kids, girls and boys alike, feel out of control, and food is one thing they can control. It’s complicated. There are a lot of issues often associated with it. Depression, genetics, sometimes it runs in families, sometimes it’s the result of abuse,” I said, swallowing the rock in my throat. “There’s something already wrong. They’re just trying to fix it.”

“But she’s not super skinny,” he insisted. “She’s still carrying baby fat for fuck’s sake.”

“Obesity is often the result of an ED,” I told him warily. “It’s not a moral weakness or behavioral flaw, Eli. It’s just a…,” I struggled to find a word, “fucked up coping tool.”

“What does she have cope with? She’s a kid. Her folks are loaded. She’s got me, and I fucking worship the ground she walks on. Where’s the big problem?”

I shrugged. “She was talking about a boy.”

He cut me off with a growl as he sprang out of bed. “Please. She’s ten.”

“She’s a preadolescent,” I corrected. “Puberty is coming, Eli. The hormones are in play. Look at her. She’s already developing.”

He spun away from me. “I don’t want to hear this.”

“I know,” I told him as gently as I could. “I don’t want to say it.”

“So why are you?”

My throat constricted. “To save her.”

He turned towards me, stalking slowly to where I stood. “Is that it, really? Or do you just want another free pass for being a cock-tease?”

My palm itched to slap him, but I took a deep breath instead. I tried to remind myself he wasn’t mad at me. He was mad at the situation.

Well, maybe me a little bit. So I tread softly.

“Eli, this isn’t about us.”

He glared down at me. “Isn’t it? You go into this relationship spitting and hissing like a cat, telling me that you’d never fuck me. But you keep getting closer and closer, yanking me around on your damned chain, making me believe you want it every bit as much as I do.” His voice dropped. “Why should I trust you now?”

“Because I’ve never lied to you, Eli. Not once. And I’m not lying about this.”

“Never lied? What the hell was last night?” he muttered between clenched teeth.

“A mistake,” I told him. He grabbed my arms in both of his hands.

“You drive me crazy, Carly Reynolds. You talk about webs and traps, but this has never been my web to spin. It’s yours. And I swear to God, if you’re using my sister to fuck with me,” he started, his fingers biting into my skin.

“I’m not, Eli,” I vowed, staring deep into his eyes, hoping he could read that and nothing else. “I’m scared for her. I just want you to, I don’t know. Keep an eye on her. If I’m crazy, then tell me I’m crazy. I don’t want this to be true any more than you do. And I mean that, Eli. One hundred percent.”

“How the hell can I believe anything you say?” His gaze drifted lower, landing on my mouth. “You do lie, Carly. Every day. Every minute. You’re lying to yourself, trying to convince yourself that you don’t want this. This, right now, you… and me. A kiss close enough to taste,” he added in that maddening seductive way of his. His eyes practically swallowed me whole, searching for any crack in the veneer. “Yesterday you told me you wanted me,” he said, and I gulped hard. He annunciated every syllable when he asked the one question I didn’t want to answer. “Did you mean it?”

Our eyes met. There was no way to back pedal. He had felt the truth in my kiss. If I lied now, it could undermine everything I said about Gabby. “Yes,” I finally answered in a faint, breathless whisper.

He pulled me closer. “Do you still want me?” he asked, adding “Sunshine,” with an evil tilt of his mouth.

I glared at him. He had said exactly the right thing to keep the walls up and my anger engaged. I supposed Eli Fucking Blake could at least be counted upon for that. “You said one question.”

He studied my face for a moment before he leaned forward to whisper, “So I did,” a breath away from my lips, wearing that familiar infuriating smirk.

He thrust me away before he spun on his heel, grabbing his robe from the foot of the bed as stalked from the room.

Apparently he had bunked once again with Gabby, because he didn’t return to the bedroom all night. I stayed awake most of the time, my heart in my chest, waiting for him.

The next few days followed the same annoying pattern. Eli had erected the tent in her bedroom so they could have campouts every night. Every day he managed to coax her into eating her three meals, but it was a struggle, particularly during the day when she had her strict eating schedule in place. I removed the scale from the main bathroom upstairs, just in case. I already knew what a ball and chain that could be, particularly when one was paranoid about gaining any weight from eating any bite of food.

After about a week, she was getting grumpier by the day. She had wanted to feel in control but everything was spinning out of her control. She finally snapped at Eli the Friday before we were supposed to fly to Colorado. I could hear her scream all the way across the house. “Why are you policing me? What’s wrong with you?”

He tried cajoling. “I’m just trying to get as much time with you as possible. We haven’t had some serious brother/sister time since you got here.”

It only backfired. She accused him of using her to screw up one of his relationships yet again.

“I’m just looking out for you!” he had yelled.

“I can look after myself!” she yelled back. “Why should California be any different?”

That night Eli returned to our bed. Our eyes met as he climbed in, but he said nothing as he lay on his back, subconsciously mirroring my rigid position. When we heard the shower within an hour after he had come to bed, we shared a look.

“Tell me what you know,” he finally conceded.

I told him about the wrappers, and the toothbrush, and about how she used showers as a cover so no one knew she was vomiting. “It’s all secrets and lies right now. The only way to fix it is drag it out into the light.”

He nodded, but remained quiet. I knew he was formulating a plan. The next day he told me to follow his lead as he took Gabby to the dining room table to talk. I sat next to him, though I had no idea what he was going to say.

It was worse than I thought.

“I wanted to talk to you, because I need to confess something. We swore we’d never lie to each other, and I’ve been lying to you. It’s wrong. And I want to fix it.”

Her eyes widened as she listened.

“I’m going to tell you something only a few people know. It’s a big secret. But I know I can trust you to keep it.”

I knew exactly where he was going and touched his arm to stop him. He ignored me entirely.

“Carly and I aren’t a real couple,” he finally said, though I had shaken my head to subtly put the brakes on this runaway train. “We’re faking it for the press, for a year, because my ex told everyone who would listen that I hate fat chicks, to torpedo my career.”

I practically groaned as I dropped my head into my hand.

“Do you?” Gabby asked. It was the most important question. How he answered it threatened to mold how she thought about herself forever. “Hate the women you sing about?”

As if he sensed that, he couched his answer delicately. “They were never my preference, no.”

I watched her self-esteem crumble like a soufflé. Her tearful eyes met mine. “So it’s not real?”

I couldn’t even speak. I just shook my head.

Gabby stood from the chair. “May I be excused?”

He took her hand in his. “G,” he started. “I never meant to lie to you. Ever. You have to know that. This wasn’t about us. This was about me protecting everything I had built.”

She pulled her hand from his and ran from the room. I finally turned to him. “What was the point of that?”

As if he had no clue what he had just done, he simply said, “She needed a foundation. We trust her with a big secret; she’ll trust us with a big secret. It’s a two-part plan.”

Eli and his plans
, I thought with a scowl. “Tell me in Part 2 that you at least sew her heart back together,” I muttered as I stood. “Did you see how crushed she was? She totally bought your act. To learn it is one big fat lie is devastating.”

“You should know,” he murmured, which drove me from the room entirely.

Maybe she knew we were watching her every move, but Gabby didn’t throw up or binge eat the rest of her visit. She barely talked to either of us. If Eli sat at his piano to play, she’d go to her room so she didn’t’ have to listen. I knew that Eli blamed me for the rift between them. I could see it in those flinty blue eyes whenever he looked at me.

It was the downside of bearing bad news. They always wanted to shoot the messenger.

The upside was that I could return to the guest room, which I supposed made those last few days a little easier. It also put me right next to Gabby, which gave me peace of mind that she wasn’t binging or purging.

We got to charter a private plane to Denver, and from there we would rent a private car to a place almost ironically called Fairplay, where the Huntingtons owned a vacation home. My nerves were shot that I would have to be in a confined space with Eli for hours straight, with nothing but his bad mood to keep me company.

Worse, he didn’t even bother putting on a front that we were a couple, happy and in love. It was a mixed blessing. I knew the ruse would resume once we got to his folks’ place, mostly because he had told Gabby as much.

“I’m doing this to protect my career,” he had tried to explain.

“You’re lying,” she had astutely corrected.

“Everyone lies about something,” he said pointedly, giving her yet another opportunity to come clean. She didn’t take it.

I waited until we were in the car on the way to the cabin before I finally talked to him about it. “I still think it was a bad idea to let her in on this. She’s a ten-year-old kid. She doesn’t need anything else on her plate, especially this kind of adult stuff.”

“Our relationship is different,” he dismissed, without even looking my direction. “We don’t lie to each other.”

“Well, at least there’s one person on the planet you show some integrity. I suppose that’s a start.”

He sent me a furious side glance but I ignored it. This was the web he spun. If he was getting tangled up in it, it was his own damned fault.

What was far more important to me was Gabby. I had a sneaking suspicion that I was about to find the root source of her problem in short order. All I could do was pray that the scene didn’t trigger me as well.

I took a deep breath and calmed myself as best as I could, concentrating on the natural beauty of Colorado to center my thoughts. It was, indeed, breathtaking, with the majestic Rocky Mountains and the spectacular greenery of Pike National Forest. I couldn’t wait to hike in the mountains, or read a book by a babbling stream. This would be the perfect place to meditate and forget the world and all its problems, providing bunking with his family didn’t pose any.

This was the biggest variable. Someone like Eli had to come from somewhere.

The second we pulled into the gravel drive leading up to the impressive log cabin, I spotted Wayne and Daphne Huntington waiting for us on their porch as they drank some wine. He was well over six feet tall and she was a more diminutive stature. She couldn’t have stood more than five feet tall and I suspected she didn’t weigh more than a hundred pounds. She was blonde and tan, sharing the same striking good looks as her son. The closer I got to her, the younger she looked.