(Glory St Clair 11) Real Vampires Say Read My Hips (14 page)

“Why the hell didn’t you tell me never to wear white pants with my big fat ass?”

“One, no way is a size six fat. And two, I’d never dare criticize you when I was sporting a size twelve. I would have killed for a six down there.” I grabbed her hand and pulled her back to the table. I did my thing and a handmaiden appeared. “Can we have some fruit and sparkling water?” I turned to Flo. “Should I have her bring more pastries?”

“Are you kidding? Sure. I can lose weight, you said.” Flo grinned. “So I find out how to do that. Exercise.” She shuddered. “Or get your mother to make me smaller. You think she’ll do that for me?”

“I wouldn’t count on it.” I dreaded the moment when Mother found out my vampire friends were up here. “But let me show you a trick she taught me. You won’t believe it.”

I stood and snapped my fingers. Suddenly it was
me
wearing white skinny jeans, with a blue silky blouse tucked in and a gold belt at the waist. My gold sandals were designer and had rhinestones across the instep.

“What did you do? I have never seen you tuck in a blouse before. And look at your little butt.” She walked around me. “Show off.” But she hugged me and wiped a tear from her eye. “You deserve it. Thrown into a prison by your own mama. I hate to think of it. And then trying to marry you off to some horrible man. Is he at least handsome?” Flo settled at the table when the handmaiden entered with a laden tray again.

“Yes. Even has Jerry’s coloring. He’s a warrior too. That’s one reason I’m worried about this fight. He’s a self-made man and earned his godly title on the battlefield.” I poured water for me, ignoring the fresh carafe of wine the handmaiden had brought. Flo decided to hit the wine again.

“I put my money on Jeremiah. He has had centuries to learn how to fight and he loves you. No one has more reason to win than he does. It will make him fierce.” Flo looked wistfully at the fresh tray of cannolis, tortas and pignolos then picked up the crystal glass and downed her wine. “I must thank Mars for bringing us here. At least for a little while I can be a human again. It’s fun. A change.”

“Think, Flo. There are other drawbacks besides the weight thing. You’re weak. With none of the special skills you’re used to having. And, be careful, or you could go home with a bun in your oven.”

Flo looked confused until I patted my now flat tummy. “No! You’re talking crazy.
Impossibile
. You think Ricardo and I could make a
bebè
here? When we make love?”

“I’m counting on the possibility.” I smiled and picked up my glass of water.

Flo grabbed my hand, spilling water everywhere. “Have you lost your mind? You’re trying to get
pregnante
? Does Jeremiah know?”

“No one knows.” I couldn’t resist one of the chocolate pastries and nibbled on it. “I think it’s one way I can guarantee Zeus will let me come home. He won’t tolerate a vampire’s child in Olympus and I certainly wouldn’t give my child away like my mother did. Jerry’s child, Flo! It’s something I’ve only dreamed about.” I took a moment to fantasize. A baby. I’d thought I’d come to terms with never having one. Now? Flo made a noise and she was frowning.

“Think, Flo. Zeus’s choice for my husband certainly wouldn’t want to be saddled with a bride pregnant by another man. It’s a perfect plan.” I waited for her usual smile. Didn’t happen.

“No, it’s not.” Flo blotted her mouth, clearly struggling to get her arguments in order before she leaned toward me. “A child, Glory. How will that work? Surely you will be vampire when you come back home. So will Jeremiah. You can’t carry a child in your body if you are, um, dead.”

“I’ve been thinking about that.” I took a sip of cold water. “I can go home as a mortal. Then after the baby is born--”

“What? Take care of it at night after you become vampire again? What happens to it during the day? Or will you wait twenty years, grow old then turn again.” Flo refilled her wine glass and took a gulp. “Think this through, Glory. A child has no place among our kind. Certainly not a mortal child who could become someone’s food.” She shuddered. “And I can’t imagine a child who is not mortal.
Capirmi
?”

“I admit it’s complicated. I haven’t thought about all the logistics yet. But if it helps me get the hell out of here? I’m going for it.” I set down my glass with a clink. “I’d hoped you’d be with me on this. Can you understand how desperate I am?”

“You must be to ask for help from this creature.” My mother suddenly appeared next to the table. We were both struck dumb as she pulled out a chair and filled my empty wine glass for herself.

How much had she heard? “Mother. You remember Florence da Vinci, don’t you? My best friend.”

She nodded, Mother’s face a study in distaste. “Mars has really done it this time. Bringing your vampire friends here. I can’t imagine what Zeus will say.”

“I’m sure he’s fine with it. Flo’s husband is to act as Jerry’s second in this fight for my hand in marriage.” I sipped more water. I really wished I could numb myself with some of that wine. But I was going to be careful from now on, just in case.

“What are you up to, Gloriana? I see you scheming.” Mother selected a grape and popped it into her mouth. “Surely you realize Kratos will win this battle and you will have to marry him. It is a good match. I thought him very handsome.”

“Yes. He’s good looking.” I glanced at Flo. “I guess you could say he’s my type, except that he seemed arrogant.”

“It’s not arrogance when a man has earned the right to brag a bit.” My mother sipped her wine. “He’s an accomplished man. On the battlefield and in the bedroom.” She smiled, determined to ignore Flo when she made a sound that could have been one of either approval or disgust. It was hard to tell.

“Surely you didn’t test him yourself, Mother. Though in Olympus I suppose anything is possible.” I caught Flo’s eye and shook my head. Better that she stay quiet. I wouldn’t put it past my mother to send Flo right back to Earth if my friend pissed her off.

“Don’t be crude, Gloriana.” My mother drained her glass. “I asked around. Women who have tested his, um, mettle say he is quite the lover.”

“Good to know, but I’m sure Jerry will best him in their fight and I won’t have to worry about that.” I exchanged looks with Flo. “Having a friend here has certainly helped me forget my recent stay in the cells.” I sighed, playing the hurt daughter.

“I told you I was sorry for that, Gloriana.” Mother toyed with her empty glass.

“Then perhaps you will help me out with a wardrobe for Florence while she’s here. I doubt Mars thought of such details.” I looked at her with a hint of begging. I knew she wouldn’t believe me if I outright pleaded with her.

“Of course he didn’t.” Mother nodded. If there was anything she enjoyed more than arranging my life it was an excuse to shop, even if it was for a vampire. “Tell me, Florence, what sort of clothes do you enjoy wearing?”

“I am giving up white jeans,” Flo said emphatically. “Glory always says black makes a butt look smaller.”

I barely listened as Flo and my mother swapped opinions about fashions. The smell of the rich Italian pastries was making my stomach churn. Was that a sign? Time moved differently here so how long would a pregnancy last? I carefully cleared my mind when my mother glanced at me. I certainly didn’t want her to get wind of my escape plan.

“That sounds wonderful, Mother. You have such great taste. Where will Flo and Richard be staying?” I still didn’t have a clue how Olympus was laid out, let alone where I was in the grand design.

“There are rooms next door. I will arrange for your friends to stay there. But don’t think I’m doing this just to please you.” Mother stood and waited until I rose as well. “You must do something for me as well.”

Here it came. I knew she’d been too accommodating for the last five minutes. “What is it?”

“You will let Kratos come here and court you.” She held up a hand when I started to object. “No, don’t say a word. I saw your thoughts a moment ago. You know I could send Florence home this moment. Correct?”

“Yes, I know that.” I went to stand next to Flo. “Please don’t. I need some company here. The handmaidens are the only people who don’t hate me.”

“And they don’t count.” Mother’s smile was so condescending I wanted to slap her. “I’m not asking you to sleep with the man, merely to let him get to know you. As you would if you were promised to a man in the normal course of things.”

“You mean if this were the Dark Ages.” I couldn’t help it. What century did these people think this was? “Seriously, Mother. An arranged marriage? Even if I wasn’t in love with Jerry and planning to marry him, I’d have never gone along with this crap.”

“This crap is how Zeus maintains control of his kingdom.” Mother’s mouth tightened. “I didn’t have a choice when I married and neither will you. It’s our way.”

“Your way sucks.” I sat down with a thump. “But if it will keep my friend here, I’ll at least meet with the guy. Let him bring me flowers or whatever you consider the courtship routine here.” I sat up straight. “I won’t encourage him!”

“But you’ll be nice to him. And he’ll show you respect or risk the wrath of Zeus himself. Remind him of that if he comes on too strong.” Mother drew herself up in her best daughter of Zeus way. “Now, come with me, Florence, and I’ll show you where your rooms are.” Mother frowned when Flo stuffed yet another biscotti in her mouth then looked my friend up and down. “Gloriana, you did tell your friend when she goes home, she won’t magically return to her former size, didn’t you? But then perhaps you don’t care, Florence.”

“
Merda
! She did warn me but I have no will power, no control. Glory, you cannot sit there and let me stuff my face. Next time, slap my hand.” Flo threw down her napkin and grabbed my water glass.

“Flo, relax. A few pastries won’t hurt you.” I got up and followed them to the door. “I want to see where they will be staying, Mother. You know I still get lost here.”

“Yes, I know. Which is as it should be. Don’t go wandering around Olympus on your own, either one of you. I mean it.” Mother put her hand on my shoulder. “There are many people here who wish you ill, Gloriana. Mars’ wife is not happy that he acknowledged you. And you saw how Hercules behaved. He has family and friends who would be glad to arrange an accident for you.”

“Thanks for the warning, Mother.” I sighed. “You sure I shouldn’t just go back home where I am safe?”

“You’ll be safe here. Your father will see to it. Just keep bodyguards with you when you go out.” She gestured and two soldiers fell in behind us as I followed her to a villa just a few steps down one of the many golden paths. “Olympus is your home now. No more talk of that other place.”

I gritted my teeth. “Not if Jerry wins his fight with Kratos. Then we’ll surely be allowed to return to our lives in Austin.” I stopped beside my mother in front of what must be Flo’s door. “I need your promise on that.”

Mother didn’t answer, just pushed open the door and gestured for Flo and me to enter. “I think you’ll find these quarters satisfactory for the next month, Florence. You have a bedroom and sitting room, a luxurious bathroom of course. Merely ring the bell on that table and a handmaiden will bring you whatever you need. Food, wine, books.” She frowned when I jumped in front of her.

“Mother, you haven’t said anything. What happens after Jerry beats Kratos?”

“I see no point in discussing such impossibility, Gloriana. But after the fight, your friends and your lover will certainly return to their old lives.” She smiled at Flo who stood close beside me. “We’ll see how you feel then.”

“I
know
how I’ll feel.” I stepped away from her. Clearly I was never going to get the straight answer I wanted. But somehow, some way, I was going to get us
all
back home. No matter what it took.

“We’ll see. Now why don’t you and Florence enjoy exploring her closet? I must go. Zeus is calling.” Mother waved her hand and a servant appeared. “If you decide to go out, be sure to take an armed escort. You are not to go without one. Understand?”

“Yes, I get it.” I couldn’t wait for her to leave and she did disappear in her usual abrupt fashion.

“Glory, I begin to see what you mean. About this place. There’s not much freedom here.” Flo glanced at the servant. “Go. When I need you, I ring the bell.” The servant bowed and left.

I hated to see Flo frowning, especially when I knew there was nothing she could do about the situation. This was all on me. “What are you waiting for? Let’s see what’s in your closet.”

That got my friend distracted and we enjoyed a happy half hour doing the clothes thing. Finally, though, I knew it was time to take care of an important issue. I gestured for a handmaiden. No need for a bell for me. Goddess magic. She hurried to my side.

“Alesha, right?” I smiled at the woman I recognized from my own home.

“Yes, mistress.” She nodded with a smile. “How can I help you?”

I bit my lip. This might get back to my mother but I had to take a chance. “My friend and I have just realized we’re mortal here with a mortal’s, um, vulnerabilities.”

“It is so.” Alesha looked at me curiously.

“Well, we both need to do something about, um, birth control.”

Flo grabbed my hand. “Yes, we do! I’m so glad you agree, Glory.”

I didn’t correct her. “Can you arrange for us to get something?”

“I’m afraid only a sorcerer provides such things here in Olympus. There aren’t many mortals allowed to stay. And,” she bowed her head, “we are at the mercy of those who are of higher station than we are.”

“Oh. I’m sorry.” I realized the handmaidens must be mortal and little more than slaves. “Can we get a sorcerer to come here?”

“Oh, no, mistress. They are very highly placed. Though so are you. If I invoke your mother’s name…”

“Sounds like we’d make a stir then.” I thought about it. “And it might take a while. Can you set up an appointment? For both of us?” I nodded at Flo.

“Certainly. I’m sure he will see you immediately.” She smiled. “Your men seem very lusty. So I think we must hurry.”

“Yes, my Ricardo is always eager to have me.” Flo laughed and wagged a finger. “And I am just as eager,
capire
?”