“My God. You didn’t tell me how they died. That’s terrible.”
“Yeah. That would have been bad enough, but unfortunately, they had also left us a pretty large estate.” He laughed mirthlessly. “They were great parents, but not very forward-thinking.
They hadn’t bothered to appoint guardianship to anyone. So both sides of the family went to war.” His tone softened. “Our father’s brother, our uncle, is wonderful. He didn’t care about the money, he was just devastated about my dad dying. We still talk to him. He did his best, but when it came right down to it, he didn’t have the money our mom’s family did. Her sister and her husband took us in.” Even today, Jace couldn’t bring himself to call them his aunt and uncle. He stopped, lost in his memories, until Devi’s hand stroked along his back. He allowed it for a minute before he twisted away, unable to bear her touch while he told the rest.
“I’m smaller than Marcus.”
“Not from my point of view.”
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A smile lightened his gloom a bit. “Not like that. Sometimes when a woman’s carrying multiples, there’s a dominant twin, one who’s bigger or healthier. We were born premature, but Marcus was almost a pound larger. He was in the regular nursery, I was in the NICU in an incubator.
“Even now, I’m a bit shorter and leaner than him, though I worked out like a maniac in college to fill out to the size I’m at. You wouldn’t have even realized we were identical when we were kids. I was a runt, scrawny and all legs and arms.”
“I bet you were adorable.”
“Maybe to my mother. Other kids loved to pick on me. Marcus fought more than one fight for me, and after a while, they left me alone. He was larger than most of the other kids by then.
“So when we were taken in by my mom’s sister, Marcus was already used to fighting my battles. It didn’t take us long to figure out our dear old uncle was a sadistic bastard and our aunt a cheap whore with the maternal instincts of a barracuda. They both told us we were worthless so many times I lost count. They dreamed up ways to punish us for the slightest infraction. Once I got my wrist broken because I left a wet towel on the floor. I’m pretty sure he took up smoking just so he could put the things out on our arms and legs. There was nothing he loved more than whipping the snot out of us. No, that’s not right. There were a couple of other things he loved more.” His lips tightened, and he looked in the window, at the double reflection there. “Shall I keep going, or do you want to tell the rest?”
“You have no right.”
Jace turned around and faced his brother, standing ashen-faced and trembling within the doorway. “She deserves to know.”
“She doesn’t need to know.”
Jace kept his eyes locked on Marcus’s. “When our uncle realized how protective Marcus was of me, he decided to use it against us. He told Marcus if he cooperated, he’d leave me alone until we were old enough to leave.
“We’d tried to tell people about the abuse, but the bastards were so good, everyone thought it was just grief over our parents talking. So, of course Marcus felt like he had no choice.”
“Shut
up.
”
“So he let the son of a bitch molest him.”
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Devi’s soft cry of anguish rang out in the room, silent but for his measured words. “We never talked about it, because I couldn’t protect him, so what was the point?” Jace’s voice broke on the last word. “He did that, and I knew he did it for me, so the bastard wouldn’t touch me.
“I knew it screwed him up. He didn’t date anyone, didn’t even try for sex. Then during our senior year of college, I brought home this crazy girl who had a fantasy of doing it with twins.
And for that little bit of time, it was like everything was back to normal.”
“Asshole.” The growl left Marcus’s mouth a split second before he launched himself across the room. Jace took the first punch as his due, the split lip as his penance, but ducked for the second.
The anger that rose with the uppercut to his jaw had its grounds in years of frustration, in a fate that had been needlessly cruel to two little boys. With a roar of his own, he shoved his shoulder into his brother’s chest, knocking them both toward the counter. He heard a distant crash and Devi’s distressed cry, but nothing could stop the two of them from pounding their aggression out on each other.
They were well matched, had been almost the same size for some time now, and though Marcus still had bulkier muscles, Jace’s lean frame allowed him to move faster. Jace managed to get a good shot at Marcus’s right eye, which snapped his head around and had him teetering back.
At the last second, Marcus snaked a leg through his and twisted so he landed on top of him.
Jace was bracing himself for a nasty blow when he felt a sharp stream of cold water hit his face.
“What the fuck?” Marcus reared back.
With water dripping across both of their faces, they turned toward Devi, who stood holding the extendable hose from the sink. She tightened her finger on the trigger in clear warning. “The next one to raise a hand in my kitchen is getting a bath.”
~ * ~
“Moron.”
“Asswipe.”
“You’re both idiots,” Devi snapped over Jace’s and Marcus’s mutters. She slapped a steak—
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his visible wince. She nurtured the irritation she felt over the two of them brawling in her kitchen as if it was a saloon in some back alley.
Because if she wasn’t mad, she’d probably just sit down and cry.
She’d known there must be some sort of dark secret in their past—neither of them were forthcoming over their younger years, even though Jace had no trouble opening up about anything else in their lives.
She didn’t pity them, since they were two strong men who wouldn’t want her pity. She did ache for the young orphans they had been, abused by the people who should have protected them.
She hurt to think of Marcus, so strong and arrogant, being at anyone’s mercy, and Jace, so loving and protective, left helpless.
It explained a lot. Jace’s machinations, Marcus’s wariness and aggression. Even their sharing, which went way beyond a cheap sexual thrill into a necessity. They needed the connection the ménage brought to them. If Devi was a psychiatrist, she would probably have a field day with it.
She wasn’t a psychiatrist, though, just a woman who cared deeply for both of them, already on the road to loving them.
Devi leaned against the counter and crossed her arms, studying the two of them as they sat sullen at her little breakfast table. “Have you two ever tried counseling?”
“Hell no.”
Jace only snorted, though he was careful not to dislodge the pack of peas he held to his split lip. Another cut lay near his eye, and Devi was sure there were probably a few more bruises under his clothes. Marcus hadn’t fared much better—his black eye was already swelling, and a blue shadow tinged his jaw. Devi had always thought seeing two men fight would be rather thrilling, but she could do without it when she wasn’t quite sure which one to cheer for.
“I’m still not clear on why you needed to open your fat mouth,” Marcus grumbled. “Why was today so special? We were doing okay without having a big share fest.”
“Because I needed Devi to understand that she wasn’t just some cheap ass for us, that the novelty wouldn’t wear off and we’d walk away. I told Devi I plotted to have her fall in love with both of us,” Jace admitted.
“I knew it. I knew all along you were crazy over her. What the hell were you thinking?”
“Fuck you. You could have left at any time. You wanted to be with her as much as I did, but I’m man enough to admit it.”
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Marcus slapped the steak on the table and glared at his brother. “Why don’t we go outside and figure out who’s more of a man.”
“Stop it, this instant.” Devi came to stand between them. “I have a hose outside too.”
The two of them barely listened to her, their gazes locked on each other. “That’s your problem,” Jace sneered. “Always trying to settle things with your fists. It’s not that easy. I want this. I want a semi-normal life. I want a woman to come home to, someone to share my life with.”
“I never stopped you from having any of that.”
“There is no way I can have any of it, unless I know you’re getting it too. You think I haven’t tried to go out with a woman by myself, to build a life separate from you? You think I don’t know about those women you’ve taken to cheap hotel rooms somewhere so you can try to do the same thing?” Jace shook his head. “It’s not possible for us. When I saw Devi, I fell head over heels for her, and I knew you would too. I prayed she’d be able to accept both of us, and I am not going to let your self-destructive tendencies screw this up for us.”
“Oh, yeah, what woman wouldn’t dream of being married to two men?”
Married? Devi’s eyes widened. She hadn’t really thought of it that way.
Jace made a frustrated noise. “Devi cares for us.”
“Yeah, well, she also cares for her family and friends, and their good opinion of her, I’m sure. It’s one thing to fuck two men, another to bring them home for Sunday dinner. What does she get out of it?”
“Two men who adore her, who appreciate her and the happiness she brings us.”
“Two perverted men who were physically and sexually abused. She knows the truth now, no need to pretty it up. This discussion is unnecessary, there’s no way she would want us now.” A dull flush covered Marcus’s face, and he glanced at her before looking back at the table.
He was ashamed, Devi realized, and felt tears threaten again. Ashamed that she knew his secret and he thought she would blame him. A cauldron of emotions bubbled inside of her. She needed—she didn’t know what she needed. Some time. She latched on to that thought. Time would be very good to sort out everything that had happened tonight.
“I think I know what I do or don’t want.” Her voice rang out, clear and authoritative, and both men turned to her. Too bad she couldn’t express it right now. She took a deep breath. “What I want, right this minute, is a little bit of time to think without two behemoths smashing things and yelling in my kitchen.”
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To their credit, both looked a little shamefaced as they glanced around the shambles of the kitchen. They had cleared the counter of all appliances and doodads, and most of it lay in pieces on the floor.
“Sorry,” Marcus said gruffly. “Looks like we’re nothing but trouble, huh.”
In a weird way, it was like Marcus was just pushing for her to admit she wanted them gone.
She figured he would rather take the disappointment now than later. She softened her tone. “It’s nothing a dustpan won’t take care of.”
“Whatever. It’s late, and I’m tired. I’m going home.”
Devi frowned. When she had meant she needed a bit of time, she hadn’t intended for them to leave. A flare of alarm struck her. She wanted them here, with her. She wanted to cradle them close and soothe their hurts. “You don’t have to go.”
Marcus wouldn’t meet her eyes, but stood and walked to the doorway. “Like you said, you need some time. And so do I.”
Jace laid the peas on the table. “I’ll drive you home.”
“Fuck you. I don’t need a nursemaid.” Marcus looked at her, his gaze so distant it punched her in the heart. “It’s been a great week, Devi.”
With that, he left, and her eyes burned as she stared at the empty doorway, the echo of the front door clicking obscenely loud. He had already said goodbye to her in his mind, she realized.
He didn’t think there was any way she would want him since she knew their secret.
A loud sigh brought her back to Jace, who winced as he straightened and rubbed his side. “I should follow him home. The mood he’s in, he might wreck the car.”
She nodded mutely and followed him to the front door. He turned and cupped a hand over her cheek. “I’m so sorry, Devi. For everything.” Sadness and regret etched every line in his face.
“Are you saying goodbye too?” she whispered.
“You kidding me?” A ghost of a smile graced his lips. “I’ve put a lot of time and effort into this venture. I’m going to see it work if it kills me.” The smile slid away. “But maybe I did rush everything. And for that I’m sorry. Me and my impatience.”
“I like your impatience.” She loved it. It was so Jace, to see a problem and take measured and deliberate steps to solve it.
“Yeah, well. I’m hoping I didn’t screw up too badly here. Whatever you decide, Devi.” Jace stroked a finger along her cheek. “Just know that I’m there for you.” He dropped his hand, a flash 128
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of pain twisting his features. “And in case Marcus decides he would rather be miserable forever, I’d be honored if you’d still consider having just me in your life.”
He leaned in and pressed a chaste kiss against her cheek before taking his leave. With automatic movements, she locked the door and set the alarm. She paused in the doorway of the kitchen but then moved on.
You can clean it up tomorrow.
In the darkness of her bedroom she stripped down to her bra and panties. The set came from Marcus’s purchases. Demurely cut, made of comfortable microfiber, tiny daisies danced across a background of white. With her fondness for that flower, this set was her favorite. Marcus had claimed loud and long he had bought the garments to titillate, but amongst the lace and cutaway crotches, she had also discovered comfortable cotton and whimsical designs he could only have bought with an eye toward her preferences.
In many ways, the twins knew her even better than she knew herself. She rested her head against the soft cotton of her pillow. What the hell was she going to do?
The way she looked at it, she had three options.
Number one, she could never see the twins again, and forget this week ever occurred.