Authors: Joanna Blake
I'd give her 24 hours to cool off. And then, I was going to battle. I'd use every tool at my disposal to get what I wanted. Her, in my bed.
Permanently.
Of course, she might already be pregnant with my baby. Then it was a done deal.
No way was she running from
that.
Belinda
Unreal!
Unbelievable!
Kyle was the most arrogant man I'd met in my life. He might as well have said '
Here's how it's going to be, babe
' and smacked my ass! He basically
did
say that!
He might have been able to give me several mind blowing orgasms, but that did not mean he had the right to tell me what to do! He was just a guy. A hotter than hot, possibly stupid, definitely obtuse guy!
Being sexy as all get out didn't mean he didn't still put his pants on one leg at a time. That's what my dad always said when someone got too big for their britches, which Kyle most definitely was! Literally!!!
I stopped short, closing my eyes in anguish.
My dad...
He would kill me if he knew what Kyle and I had done. Who was I kidding? We'd almost done it
twice.
I'd stopped it at the last possible moment, thank God!
Oh God... my dad would kill
both
of us. As arrogant as he was, I didn't want Kyle getting kicked off the team. He really was stupid if he thought my dad would forgive us. He would not.
Especially not if Kyle had gotten me pregnant!
I rode the bus home in silence, trying not to clench my jaw. I did that when I was tense. I got it from my dad.
The weird thing was, I'd noticed Kyle doing it too. When we were arguing I'd noticed his jaw ticking. Who was I kidding? I noticed every single thing about him!
How he'd shaved carefully to meet me. The pine scent of his skin. The way his eyes crinkled when he smiled... the tick of his jaw when I told him to go to hell!
Do not think about Kyle. Do not think about Kyle. Do not think about Kyle.
Or Kyle Junior.
I got home and showered, trying to scrub the memory of him away. Just like last time, it did not work. I knew he was ready to have unsafe sex again. And deep down, I hadn't wanted him to stop. If it had gone any further, I wouldn't have stopped him.
In that moment, I had not cared about anything but the feeling of our two bodies pressed together. But now I felt stupid. Stupid and worried.
There was only one thing to do.
I went into my room and looked up the local women's clinic. There was one on campus but that felt too close to home. What if my dad saw me walking into it?
No, the place downtown would be perfect. They could do a test or give me the morning after pill. I could take that a week later right? I better get checked for STD's too. Oh God, he could have anything!
The way Kyle was in bed... he must have had dozens of girls. More!
I groaned. Why did my first time have to be with such a player? He knew his way around the bedroom, that was obvious. I had a sudden feeling he had lost count of how many women he'd slept with.
I forced myself to calm down. Maybe he was clean. He seemed like a proactive guy, for a caveman. It didn't matter now though anyway. What's done was done. There was no point in freaking out about it. I just had to make sure it didn't happen again. I was too ashamed to even tell Betsy. She would freak. If there's one thing she believed in, it was safe sex.
And lots of it.
I sat up for hours, working on my independent study. I forced myself to concentrate, but it wasn't easy. At last I crawled into bed around 2 and fell into a deep sleep.
Chapter Eight
Kyle
I stretched subtly, leaning back in my seat. The chairs in my English Lit lecture hall were painfully small. I looked around at all the kids in the class with me. Lots of short girls and skinny guys. Even the fit students were kind of... scrawny looking.
Actually, I was just bigger than the average student. A lot bigger. I caught a guy staring at me and stared back. He looked away nervously.
Yeah, I was a shark in a room full of guppies.
Either way, the seat was damn uncomfortable.
I fiddled with my phone, more restless than usual. The professor's voice was grating on my nerves. I wasn't a huge fan of English Lit but I could usually pay attention.
Not today.
Hell, the past few weeks had seemed to inch by painfully. The only time I felt any sense of purpose of all was at practice. Because of
her.
I stared at my text messages, willing her to write back. Belinda had been ignoring my texts. They were commands really.
Enough is enough Belinda
Come to my room tonight Belinda
I've had enough of this Belinda
Take your clothes off and get in my bed Belinda
I frowned. I had sent that last one just this morning. She was not responding to the direct approach. It was time I tried a new tactic. I was going to woo her.
I pecked out a new text, certain that this one would do the trick.
Let me take you out tonight B, I want to talk.
Almost immediately I was rewarded by a soft ping. Heads swiveled and I turned my phone onto silent. But I was fucking psyched. Finally, she had written back.
I told you not to call me.
I grinned and pecked out a response. It wasn't the exact answer I wanted (
Yes! Take me now!
), but at least she was writing back. I could almost see her rolling her eyes as she read it.
I didn't call you. I'm texting.
Silence.
My phone vibrated.
What do you want Kyle?
I didn't have to think about what to say. I didn't even hesitate. I just wrote back three little letters.
You
She didn't respond to that one. But I could feel her thinking. I had a strong suspicion she was biting her lip.
She might not say yes to dinner tonight, but she would say yes soon. To everything. I had a long list of requests once I got back in her good graces.
I would wine and dine her. Send flowers. Whatever it took. I'd even buy her some fancy underwear and let her model it for me.
Oh yeah, wooing her was going to be fun.
Belinda
It had been almost three weeks now since I walked out of Kyle's dorm room. No matter what I did, he was not giving up. He was definitely not going away. He was texting me daily. And it was wearing me down. Especially since he'd even started to sound like a human being today.
It scared me how tempted I'd been to do what he asked.
Not just today either. I was tempted to everything he asked. Bend over Belinda. Take your clothes off Belinda. Ride me Belinda.
I shivered, my skin breaking out in goosebumps. The little voice inside me piped up, whispering. Give in. It will feel so good. It will feel
right.
But that wasn't exactly true either. I wanted him, yes. But on my terms. A normal relationship.
The only problem with that was, I wasn't allowed to have a relationship. There were rules in my house, and breaking them would unleash my father's wrath in a major way. Huge. Epic even. I tucked my phone into my bag and pulled on my jacket.
I was damn tired of men bossing me around, that was for sure.
I left my work-study at the Dean's office and headed for the front door. I stopped suddenly, clamping my hand over my mouth as my stomach rolled over. Then I ran.
I barely made it to the bathroom before I was bent over, hurling up the remnants of my breakfast. It tasted sour, like cereal mixed with pickle juice.
Ugh, that's so nasty.
That thought earned an extra set of heaves. I puked until there was nothing left in my stomach.
I sat back on my heels, wiping my mouth. I felt perfectly fine.
Huh. That was weird.
Just like that, it was over.
Food poisoning didn't go away that fast, did it?
I was splashing my face when it hit me. I'd never gotten my test. I'd stuck my head in the sand and hoped for the best.
It wasn't food poisoning.
Pregnant women threw up.
No no no no.
This could not be happening. It's not that I didn't want kids. I did. Two or three of them. But I wasn't even out of college yet. Not to mention the baby's father was a bit of a Neanderthal.
Relax Belinda. It might be a false alarm. A bug going around.
I stared into the mirror. My shirt looked tight over my breasts. I touched them gingerly and winced. They were sore. More than when I had my period. My lips were puffy. There was a softness in my eyes and around my nose.
I had a very strong feeling that this was not a false alarm. I covered my face with my hands, unable to even look at myself in the mirror.
I rarely cussed but this seemed like a good time to start.
"Shit!"
Chapter Nine
Kyle
I rode the bench, eager to get into the game. It was the first game of the season and I had everything to prove. My future on the team and beyond was all depending on this. I was full of pent up energy. Anger. Frustration. Oh yeah, and lust.
Lots and lots of lust.
The object of my lust was less than twenty feet away, sitting with her mom as they watched the game. She looked prim and proper with her jacket buttoned up to the neck. Her mother and her had a cute little blanket over their knees and a picnic basket.
Apparently, they never missed a game.
My eyes were drawn to her over and over throughout the first two quarters. She was studiously ignoring me. I could actually feel her
not
looking at me.
I stood and stretched, hoping I was going in soon. We had a good team. But today, the other team was better. We were losing. And if we were losing, it was unlikely Coach would play me.
Not until the point of no return.
In the fourth quarter, I finally got my chance.
Coach gave me the nod as I took the field. These were mostly first string guys so they barely knew me, but they took my play and ran with it.
After ten minutes the look in their eyes had changed. They were eager for my plays. I was taking a little creative license, using tactics we used in the field to avoid getting shot. Or blown up.
And it was working.
We had made our way up the field steadily, despite the opposing teams intimidating defense. Now was our chance to score. But
I
wasn't going to do it.
We
were.
I clapped and we took our spots.
The whistle blew and I tossed the ball sideways. Then I ran backwards a few feet. The ball landed back in my hands.
Then
I threw it.
Another player caught it and he tossed it sideways. The player who caught it last was the fastest on the team. He was the end game for the play. He took the ball and ran.
And he scored.
The next time we got the ball, we did it again.
The crowd was going absolutely apeshit as we turned the game around, driving back the visiting team despite insurmountable odds. I was a Marine. We didn't give up. We couldn't. And the team was right there with me. By the end of the quarter we had done the unthinkable.
We'd won.
The crowd went apeshit, screaming and cheering. The team hoisted me up on their shoulders, carrying me around the field.
I looked towards the stands, hoping to see my woman. I saw a glimpse of red hair and grinned.
Speaking of insurmountable... yeah, I was not giving up on that either.
Bellie and her mother had left already by the time the guys set me down again. As soon as I got into the locker room I texted her, hoping she would celebrate with me. She had to be impressed. I'd done the impossible. With my team, of course. It was a group effort. But still, it was one hell of a debut.
Meet me.
I showered and toweled off, smiling as my back was slapped repeatedly. As soon as I was dry I checked my phone, my mood deflating.
Belinda had written back but it was a far cry from what I'd been hoping for (something along the lines of
'take me stud'
). She said exactly one word. The only word I did not want to hear.
No.
Belinda
He wouldn't stop staring at me. His eyes were two icy blue laser beams burning into me with their intensity. That's what I was thinking the entire game. Somebody was going to notice that Kyle kept looking over his shoulder like that.
My dad
was going to notice.
I closed my eyes, praying that it was just a guilty conscious that was making me so nervous. And lord knows I had enough to feel guilty about. Now I had two secrets from everyone I loved.
And one from Kyle.
A big one. Really big. Huge.
A baby.
I'd gone to the clinic just a few days ago. I could still see the nurse. Hear her telling me it was far too late for the morning after pill. If I wanted to end the pregnancy, I'd have to end the pregnancy the hard way. A D&C or chemical abortion was the only route left to me.
Neither sounded very good. I'd felt revulsion at the thought of doing something so drastic. So
final.
In fact, the idea filled me with horror. I had stood up, numbly accepting the pamphlet from the nurse, and left. It was strange to think about it in retrospect.
I'd known, in that one instant, that I was keeping my baby. It wasn't even a choice. It was just there... the truth. I was keeping it no matter what anybody had to say about it. My mother would freak out. My father would go ballistic.
And Kyle, well, he would be trapped for life from one not-so-innocent mistake.
I lifted my chin. There was no way I was going to let that happen. Any of it.
I was going to do the one thing left that I could.
I'd leave. Just go somewhere else for the duration of the pregnancy. Somewhere new, where nobody knew me. Nobody would know I was the good girl who got knocked up. Nobody would know I was supposed to be ashamed. I'd just be a regular girl who just happened to be pregnant. End of story.