Read God Ain't Through Yet Online
Authors: Mary Monroe
I
was about to pour myself a large drink, but I changed my mind as soon as I plucked a glass out of my dishwasher. For once, I wanted to be stone-cold sober when I talked to Pee Wee about our marriage. He'd said that he'd see me in a few hours.
Since my last conversation with Rhoda, which had been three days ago, I had done a lot of thinking. For one thing, I was not going to let my decisions be influenced by anybody else's unsolicited input.
Muh'Dear had come by the house last night and bombarded me with comments like, “You'd better be tryin' to get your husband back before another woman grabs him up.” She said a lot of things like that, but the one that hurt the most was, “You done ran off two men this year, and that should tell you that you don't have what it takes no more.”
Daddy had come with her and all he'd said was, “Girl, you do what you think is right for you. Whomever you end up with, you'll be the one sleepin' with him, not us.”
Scary Mary had left several messages on my answering machine, but I didn't have the strength to call her back and listen to more of what she had to say.
Charlotte was the only one who said something that didn't upset me. “Mama, I don't know why everybody is all upset. It ain't like my daddy moved to Mars or dropped dead. He's still in our lives.”
Pee Wee didn't show up until after eleven. By then Charlotte was in bed and I had settled myself on the couch with a glass of tea.
“No wine tonight?” he asked, easing down into that old La-Z-Boy that he still had not removed from my presence.
I shook my head. “I was not up for that,” I told him. “You want some tea?”
“I'm up for some wine, if you don't mind.”
After I poured him a glass of wine and set the bottle next to his glass on the coffee table, I returned to the couch. I took another sip of my tea and looked him in the eye. “We need to make some decisions. When do you plan to pick up the rest of your stuff? That La-Z-Boy has been getting on my nerves for yearsâ¦.”
He drank some wine before he replied. “I know. Just like I was.”
I rolled my eyes, ignoring his remarks. “There are a bunch of old tools and fishin' poles in the basement, too. If you don't want it, I can call the junkman.”
His eyes got big. “I paid a lot of money for them tools and fishin' gear! You know that! You would give all of my stuff away to the
junkman
?”
“I will if you don't want it. I have no use for it. We've talked about this before.”
He set down his glass and rubbed the palms of his hands together. “Is there a reason why you want me to get all my stuff out of this house?”
My eyes got big this time. “A reason? The reason is that you don't live here anymore.”
He shrugged and mumbled something unintelligible under his breath. “Maybe you don't want nothin' around here that will remind your new friend of me, huh? Is that what this is all about?”
“I don't have a new friend, and if I did, I wouldn't even think about moving him into my house,” I declared, waving my hand and snapping my fingers.
I hadn't told Rhoda about Jacob hitting me in the restaurant, and decided that I wouldn't. That was one thing I didn't want Pee Wee to know about. After what he'd done to Louis Baines when he found out that he'd hit me, I knew that he would probably kill Jacob.
“I've had it up to my gums with all of that shit! All I want now is to be happy. And if being alone is the only way I can do that, well⦔
“What happened between you and Jacob?” he asked sharply, giving me a suspicious look. “I heard he took off for Canada.”
“That's not important. You didn't come over here to discuss Jacob.” We stared at each other for a tense moment.
I didn't know what was going through his mind, and I didn't want him to know what was going through mine. I didn't want to think about Jade and Vernie, the sorry state of my marriage, my daughter's welfare, or much of anything else. My thoughts involved a lot of things, and the one that stood out the most right now was Jacob. He had terrorized me, but now that he was gone, I saw no reason for Pee Wee to know that. Besides, as long as Jacob didn't plan on paying his mother's funeral expenses, he would never work in Richland again. If he ever did, I would not hesitate to sick a process server on him. Then I'd haul him to small claims court and have his wages attached some more. I was confident that his moving back to Richland was unlikely. And with the top-notch security system Pee Wee had installed in my house, I was not worried about anybody else threatening my safety either.
“Well, he is part of the problem,” Pee Wee insisted.
“Look, Jacob is no longer a friend of mine,” I said. I made that statement with such a firm voice Pee Wee had to know that I was serious. “That relationship is over, tooâ¦.”
He rose and stood next to the chair, still staring at me. “I don't mind lettin' you know that I'm glad to hear that,” he said with a sneer. “I always knew you could do better than him.”
I chuckled. “He said the same thing about you.”
“Whatever.” He rubbed the palms of his hands together again. “Well, since we started out as friends, do you think we can ever be friends again?”
“As far as I'm concerned, you and I are still friends. And will continue to be. But the difference now is that we are just friends. That's all.”
“We're still married. We're still man and wife.”
“You left me for another woman!” I said hotly, waving my finger in his direction like a sword.
He shook his finger at me and gave me an incredulous look. No, it was more of a hostile look, and I didn't like that look at all. “So? You left me for another man!” he snapped. I narrowed my eyes and gritted my teeth so hard it made him flinch. “What's that mean look for, Annette? I'm tellin' the truth, and you know it!”
“I didn't
leave
you for Louis Baines! Iâ¦I slept with him, but I didn't leave you for him. I didn't flaunt him the way you did Lizzie for everybody in town to see and pity me! I at least cared enough about your feelings to try and hide my affair. You rubbed yours in my face!”
“What difference does it make who did what? The bottom line is, we both fucked up!”
I leaped up off the couch and lunged for the wine. I took a long drink straight from the bottle. It was enough for me to get an immediate buzz. I whirled around to face Pee Wee again. “Do you want a divorce or what?”
“I don't know what I want,” he said in a weary voice. That was not what I wanted to hear.
I returned to my seat, still clutching the wine bottle. “Well, when will you know? I don't plan on spending the rest of my life tied up in a situation like this! I can't live not knowing something more definite about our future together. If I or if we both meet somebody else that we want to marry, I don't want us to have to wait for a divorce to be final.”
“You're right.” He shook his head and slid his hands into his pockets. Then he looked toward the door. “I guess I should be goin' so you can get some rest. You look tired.”
“I am tired. But the thing I'm tired about the most is the way we keep going around in circles about what we are going to do. Now, there is no reason why we can't agree on something right here and now.”
“You're right,” he said again. “If you want to go ahead with the divorce, go ahead. I ain't goin' to stand in the way of you bein' happy. I've done that long enough. I'll come by in a couple of days to get the rest of my stuff.”
“Wait a minute.” I raised my hand. “I've been happy most of our marriage. You haven't been standing in the way of me being happy. I don't know where you got that idea from.”
“You know what, I'm tired, too. I'm goin' to go back to my place. If you have them serve me the divorce papers, that's fine. I can live with it. If you don't, well, I can live with that, too. Right now, I'm goin' home.” He looked toward the stairs. “Tell Charlotte I'll take her shoppin' this weekend, and she can spend the weekend with me if she still wants to.” He didn't hug me or even say good-bye. He just turned and walked away.
I didn't even wait for him to pull out of the driveway before I called Rhoda. She sounded sleepy, but she started talking right away. “I'm glad you called. I'm bringin' you somethin' tomorrow that's goin' to make you very happy,” she informed me.
“Good. Don't forget to bring some batteries with it,” I chided.
“Get your mind out of the gutter, you nasty buzzard. I was talkin' about some tequila. I'm goin' to make you some killer margaritas.”
“That's good to hear. We can celebrate.”
“Celebrate? Celebrate what?”
“Pee Wee's coming home,” I told her. “I think⦔
I heard her suck in some air and then let out a disturbing gurgle.
“Rhoda, are you all right?” I asked with concern. “Can you still talk now?”
“Yeah, some air went down my windpipe the wrong way. What you just said shocked me, I guess. I mean, I'm glad to hear it all, but I'm surprised. I just saw Pee Wee a little while ago, and he didn't even mention a reconciliation. When is he movin' back in with you?”
“Um, we haven't decided on that yet.” I crossed my fingers as I stood in the window with the curtains cracked open enough for me to see Pee Wee. There was enough light coming from the moon and the streetlights for me to see him sitting in his car with his head on the steering wheel. “There won't be a divorceâ¦this time.”
“I am so happy to hear that!” Rhoda squealed. She sounded wide awake now. “This news gives me so much hope! If you and Pee Wee can get back together after all you've put each other through these past few months, anything is possible. You agree?”
“I agree with that,” I said.
“Now as soon as my daughter's husband comes to his senses and realizes how much he loves her, he'll come back.”
Before I could leave the window, or hide my face behind the curtains, Pee Wee looked up. He smiled at me for the first time in weeks. I smiled back. We waved to each other; then he backed out of the driveway and drove down the street.
I returned to my seat on the couch. The phone was still up to my ear, and I was still listening to Rhoda as she babbled on and on about the possibility of Vernie coming back to Jade. But none of that bothered me. I felt better than I'd felt in a long time. It was a while before I could get another word in edgewise. And that was only because she had to pause to clear her throat. “Rhoda, you're right. Everything is going to work out all right for all of us.”
“Even Vernie comin' back to Jade?” she asked, suddenly sounding as eager as a child on Christmas morning.
“Even Vernie coming back to Jade,” I said. “If Pee Wee and I can get back together and go on like before,
anything is possible
.”
I didn't know for sure if my husband was coming back to me, but if he wanted to, well, he was still my husband.