God Hates You, Hate Him Back: Making Sense of The Bible (41 page)

Obviously, Matthew’s eagerness to place this particular passage onto the lips of Jesus is a transparent effort to continue the three day theme throughout Jesus’ biography.

This narrative provides us with a further example where Matthew removes any doubt of his aims to fabricate events in Jesus’ life to fulfil
what was written in the Old Testament, even if it meant creating an absurd depiction. In this story, Jesus was to make a supposed triumphal return to Jerusalem after travelling the regions preaching his wisdom. This story is created to fulfil the prophecy of Zechariah. Unfortunately, for Matthew, however, his fellow gospels, Mark, Luke and John were far better skilled in interpreting Hebrew text and understood that in Hebrew the word ‘and’ was used to give emphasis to a narrative and not used as an added. Thus Mark, Luke and John tell of Jesus riding into Jerusalem upon a donkey. However, Matthew has him riding simultaneously upon a donkey and a horse. Not only is this amusing but it is also a highly impressive piece of equestrian stunt riding. Matthew cites the passage Zechariah 9:9, further highlighting his folly:

This is one of the most damning pieces of evidence that unequivocally illuminates the fabrication of Jesus’ biography. Matthew writes that his disciples covered both the donkey and the colt in cloaks and he rode both of them simultaneously into the city to be greeted by a few fans who threw robes onto the ground before him in praise, but others looked on flummoxed as to the identity of this ass riding Jew. Thus plenty in the crowd booed and jeered Jesus, to which Jesus reacted spitefully:

Jesus proving that, like his spiritual father God, he too seems ok with the idea of baby killing.

The Gospels repeatedly go to great pains to vilify the Pharisees, by painting them as the perpetual enemy of Jesus. The repeated references suggest that this internal enemy is the threat to Jesus’ growing fan base. Matthew even suggests that the Pharisees were in the midst of hatching a conspiracy to assassinate Jesus:

So who were the Pharisees? The New Testament doesn’t make it clear, but scholars of the Jewish faith likened them to a Jewish political party, or social movement of sorts. There seems to be consensus that the Pharisees were primarily motivated by the desire to re-establish Mosaic Law and to resist Roman rule. I presume this is why the Gospels present Jesus as an objector to the Pharisees because these were the Jews he or his disciples could not sway. Further, Jesus believed in abiding by Roman rule so that peaceful coexistence could continue, this is evident in one scene whereby the Pharisees devise a scheme to catch Jesus publicly denouncing the Roman Empire so that they could facilitate his arrest. Luke writes that the Pharisees sent Roman spies to ask Jesus:

Jesus asked for a small silver coin called a denarius, inscribed with the image of the Roman Emperor Caesar on one side. Jesus thumbing the coin between his forefingers replied:

Certainly, Jesus had cleverly dodged the word-trap set by the Pharisees but he now paints himself as a moral coward because the Jews despised the Roman occupation and thus Jesus shows us that he is not a man of courage in the way Martin Luther King was, when he stood up against white oppression. So, is this really a man to be admired? Aren’t great moral crusaders of history those who put their agenda ahead of their own self-interests?

The Pharisees then bring Jesus a demon-possessed man that was also blind and mute. Jesus wasted no time in performing his ‘abracadabra’ trick and the man was healed. Gathering witnesses were astonished, but the Pharisees amongst them cried out accusatory that Jesus was no more than Satan incarnate. They yelled:

Jesus defended himself against this claim, with a speech that has been reshaped by politicians throughout the ages:

The Pharisees continued to taunt poor old Jesus. Tempting him to impress them with more miracles as evidence that he is who he claims to be. Jesus replied to their taunts:

Therefore, Jesus’ own defense against performing miracles to prove his divinity is to retell the miracle of a man living in a fish story. The Pharisees were dummies though and they continued to call Jesus on his lunatic-like ramblings, tempting Jesus to blaspheme so that they could stone him to death on the spot. Jesus was standing amongst a group of Pharisees who asked him point blank, “Are you the Son of God?” Jesus answered that he and the Father are one, which is a definitive self-claim that Jesus is God, which makes him the son of himself doesn’t it? Weird! The Pharisees had heard enough and were ready to stone him on the spot, but Jesus rushing to his own defense, asked:

The above statement contradicts Jesus’ own claim that the performing of miracles should not be a prerequisite in believing in him and thus the Pharisees replied:

Jesus then provides a nonsensical response in which he claims not to be God, but that his miracles are evidence that he shares the same powers as God and therefore must be God. If you can make sense of that, you are doing better than me. This story ends, like all pieces of fiction, where the hero always makes a miraculous escape, with Jesus fleeing to the other side of the River Jordan.

This is a remarkable chapter and one that I cannot believe has not been taken hold of by non-believers more tightly as another jig-saw piece compilation of evidence that everything in this book is a result of shoddy workmanship. Starting at the end first, Jesus promises his disciples that the end of the world will come before the then current generation had passed. A bold prediction no less, but one made by someone claiming to have a direct line to God, the creator and master of the universe. A prediction that has proven to be 2000 years wrong and counting! We are still here and no prophet has descended from heaven to greet us with rapture whilst riding a white horse.

Jesus was sitting on the Mount of Olives with his disciples when he foretold of the signs of the end of times. He warned that nation will rise against nation; wars would ravage the earth; famine would inflict the earth; and false prophets would appear. Jesus then quoted a passage from Isaiah 13:10:

Jesus told them that they would not be forewarned of the actual date of the end of the world, but he promised them this:

This is not just an isolated narrative by Luke, as this promise of return before the current generation, those alive in 1AD, is made 37 times in the New Testament. This belief or promise is consistent with Jesus’ teaching:

In fact, Jesus tells his followers three times during his sermon on the Mount that they should not be concerned or anxious about the future, because the end of days is near, and they will be lifted into Heaven before their generation has passed. His early followers believed him so that they didn’t even bother to sow their fields. Let this be a financial warning to those living under the pretense that Jesus will return anytime soon.

Consider for a moment what,
exactly
, it is that Jesus’ doctrine of not worrying about tomorrow actually implies. It means to disregard financial, parental, physical, and social responsibilities. What sort of moral teaching is this? It’s absolutely immoral. C.S. Lewis quite rightfully said that either Jesus was a madman, or he really did believe the world was soon coming to an end. And if he is truly the Son of God then to have not returned within the time frame he promised is irrefutably, in itself, a wicked act.

Ultimately, the false prophet proved to be Jesus! If you are a Christian you really need to consider a conversion to Judaism because the Jews were correct in calling Jesus a phony, based on this prophecy alone. And if this were a Mosaic trial case, the jury would have no choice but to find Jesus guilty of blasphemy.

The Pharisees, chief priests and the elders of the Jewish people were becoming increasingly anxious to take Jesus down and thus they schemed a plan that would instigate the arrest of Jesus. This plan would be put into action after the festivities of the Passover, as the conspirators worried that the people would riot in the streets if his followers got wind of this subpoena during the feasts.

The chief priests successfully recruited an ‘inside man’, one of the twelve disciples, to be the point for the sting operation. His name: Judas Iscariot. The priests agreed to pay Judas a sum of thirty silver coins for his part. His role was to identify an opportunity that would present the most opportunistic moment to befall his mentor.

Although Jesus did not know of the details of this plot he did confide in his disciples with the following prediction:

Whereas John tells of Jesus calling to God, and God answering in the presence of his disciples, who threw themselves to the floor upon hearing the invisible voice from Heaven, with Jesus comforting them with forecast of his resurrection:

On the first day of the Passover celebrations, Jesus’ disciples came to him and asked how he would like them to prepare him for the Passover, to which Jesus answered:

The twelve disciples prepared a huge banquet of some of the best cuisine available at the time. As they dined, Jesus stood in the center position of the long dining table and proclaimed:

His disciples were shocked that a ‘rat’ could possibly be amongst them and they replied in unison, “Surely not, our Lord?” As such Jesus replied somewhat cryptically:

Whereas, Matthew says Jesus outed his would-be nemesis disciple: