Goddess Born (15 page)

An encounter seemed inevitable when Nathan looked up at the last moment. Our eyes met in that instant, flashing our true sentiments before Nathan turned and abruptly stormed from the room.

Nora stopped in her tracks. “My goodness,” she said shortly, recovering somewhat from the surprise. “He doesn’t seem to want your services...or your company for that matter.”

Being suddenly without a companion, Edgar moved his attention to us. “My girls,” he said warmly. “What a pleasure to see you in meeting.” He leaned a little closer and patted my shoulder in a consoling manner. “Don’t mind Nathan. He’s still smarting from your refusal, but he’ll come around in time.”

Not likely
, I thought, but appreciated his kind words all the same.

“For me,” Edgar continued, keeping his hand on my shoulder, “it is difficult to feel the meeting complete without your father here among us. You have my deepest sympathies.” His fingers tightened to an affectionate squeeze. “Mary Finney explained how he ordered you to meet your cousin in Philadelphia, and the Elders are of one mind that you should suffer no guilt of conscience for missing his funeral. It’s a daughter’s duty to obey her father and his last wish was for you to be properly looked after when he quit this world.”

I blinked to ward off the threat of tears. “You are very kind. My father always considered you a very dear friend.”

“Jonathan Kilbrid was more kin than friend. Now he’s gone, I think of you as my family. And being so related through the blood of goodwill,” he smiled, “would you mind introducing me to your husband? He looks an amiable fellow and if we can persuade him to accept our simple ways and have his name read into meeting, it would put an end to this talk of your disownment.”

Edgar seemed to forget that I wasn’t a Quaker myself. Not yet, anyway. “That would be nice,” I said politely. “Henry seemed quite interested in your sermon this morning.”

“As he well should be. The truth is the way, and the way is the truth. He would be a fool to ignore it.”

From my experience the whole truth was highly uncomfortable and most people avoided it at all cost. “If only it were so simple,” I said, without really thinking.

Edgar looked at me queerly. “Take heart, my girl, one day you’ll be free.”

His wording was a bit curious, but I knew what he meant all the same.

And ye shall know the truth
,
and the truth shall make you free.
Quakers loved to quote this scripture, written nearly two thousand years ago by the Apostle John.”Oh, to be so lucky,” I laughed. This sentiment might offer hope to those who hadn’t been forbidden from telling the truth. For my kind, such freedom was unknown in this lifetime.

Chapter Eight

Differences Too Great

The meetinghouse began to clear as people bid their friends good day and set off for home and an early supper. Henry and I were engaged to dine with the Boyles later that afternoon and decided to spend the surplus time on a country drive rather than returning home to Brighmor. While Henry went to fetch the horse and shay, I waited on the front steps of the meetinghouse, and soon found Matthew Appleton standing at my side.

He politely inquired how the crops fared at Brighmor this summer, and whether we had lost any wheat due to the rain. With his wife expecting a baby the beginning of August, I suspected he didn’t really want to talk to me about wheat. “The fields are wet, but we haven’t lost anything yet,” I said before changing the subject. “How’s Susanna doing today?”

“Oh, she’s doing fine,” he said, rather unconvincingly. “Just a bit under the weather.”

“Did she tell you not to say anything to me?”

He shoved his hands into his pockets and rocked back slightly on his heels. “She thinks I worry too much.”

Susanna was a very independent woman, verging on stubborn. As her midwife, I should have marched right over to her home and demanded she tell me everything. For Matthew’s sake, I decided to go about it another way. “Henry and I are having supper at the Boyles’ this evening. How about if we stop by later for cake and wine?”

His face immediately brightened from the suggestion. “That would be nice. And then maybe you could ask how she’s feeling.”

I went down the steps to meet Henry. “We’ll be over soon as we can,” I told Matthew.

“Would you mind pretending we never had this conversation?”

“It will be our secret,” I promised.

Matthew offered his arm to assist me into the carriage. “Thank you, Selah. I don’t know what we would do without you.”

I gave him my best reassuring smile as the horse pulled the shay away from the steps. Then leaning back in my seat, I closed my eyes and started debating what to do about Susanna.

The Appletons had moved to Hopewell from Philadelphia to open a dry goods store fifteen years ago, when they were first married. Since then they had built up a flourishing business while gaining the reputation for being good-natured and possessing the best of hearts. Matthew offered quality merchandise at fair prices, and more than one widow or poor family could claim receiving indefinite credit or being offered the necessities at a significantly reduced rate.

But despite this success, one disappointment overshadowed everything else. For fifteen years they had remained childless, Susanna having suffered through several miscarriages and two stillbirths from what I knew. Being in her mid-thirties, she had all but given up hope of ever having a child when she unexpectedly became pregnant again late last fall.

Over the past few months I had been checking on her regularly. The baby seemed to be growing normally, but these things could change without warning. If the baby died in the womb, there would be nothing to do. If it were only a matter of preterm labor, Susanna was far enough along that it would be possible to sustain the little one’s life so long as I was summoned in time. Once Susanna had passed into her eighth month, I had been very adamant about being called the moment the pains began.

“You seem to be thinking awfully hard about something,” Henry said, his deep voice drawing my attention back to the carriage. We passed by the gristmill, which meant I must have been musing to myself for a good thirty minutes.

“I’ve been trying to decide what to do about Susanna Appleton. It was her husband Matthew who invited us over later tonight.”

“Is it something you want to talk about?” he asked politely. “I might be able to offer an opinion.”

“Not unless you know anything about midwifery,” I laughed. “She’s expecting a baby in the beginning of August, but has a terrible history of miscarriage and stillbirth. I’m just trying to decide what can be done to minimize the risk. Susanna and Matthew desperately want to be parents, and I think this might be their last chance.”

Henry stopped the carriage to let the horse rest in a patch of shade running alongside the creek. “Childbirth has always had its risks.” From the sadness in his voice, he seemed to be speaking specifically of his own mother who had died on the birthing bed. “What else is there to do other than wait and see what happens?”

His suggestion sounded completely reasonable, for someone who didn’t have the ability to change the final outcome. Even so, unborn babies were very tricky to fix and my gift was somewhat limited until Susanna went into labor. Without more experience I could inadvertently cause additional harm by interceding too early. So other than sleeping on the Appletons’ sofa and following Susanna around like a shadow for the next month, Henry was right, and to some degree I would have to wait and see what happened.

“There’s not much else to do,” I admitted. “But it would be heartbreaking if they lost another baby.”

“They would still have each other for comfort, which is more than a lot of folks can claim.”

“I guess you could look at it that way,” I said, somewhat taken aback by his matter-of-fact perspective. “Any woman would be fortunate to find a man who loves her half as much as Matthew loves Susanna. It’s what I had always hoped for in my own marriage, before—” I caught myself just in time.

“You mean before Samuel died?” Henry asked.

I saw no use denying it and simply nodded.

Securing the reins, Henry got out of the carriage and walked over to the water’s edge. After two hours of sitting in meeting followed by a long ride, I understood the inclination to stretch his legs.

“Do you think you’ll marry for real once I’m gone?” Henry asked when I joined him.

“Only if there’s another cousin willing to immigrate to the Colonies. And with my father gone, I’ve no idea where to look or who to ask.”

“You never did tell me why it has to be a cousin.”

“It’s a family tradition. My parents were very strong believers that like should marry like.”

“My father believed the same thing. In fact, it was the last thing we talked about before I left England.”

This seemed a rather odd way to say goodbye. “Was there someone in particular he had in mind?”

“Oh, yes,” he said bitterly. “Our families were very close and we’d been intended since our infancy. Last summer when I turned nineteen, my father presented me with a betrothal contract. He insisted that I sign it to show my intentions of marrying once I turned twenty-one and had finished at Cambridge. I refused, on grounds of having no affection for the girl beyond friendship. He didn’t ask again, and I thought the matter settled until I returned home in February to find that he had forged my name. The marriage would proceed as planned, except it had been moved ahead one year to this summer, just after my twentieth birthday.”

“You were supposed to marry this summer?” My insides took a sudden chill. Although we weren’t really married, I disliked the idea of him with someone else. “But, you told me you weren’t engaged the day we met.”

“I had signed nothing and so far as I was concerned, had no legal attachment to anyone.”

“Would you have gone through with it if you’d stayed in England?”

“I don’t know,” he said, sighing. “To give my father credit, it really wasn’t a poor match. The girl had many fine qualities, and in time I probably would have grown to love her. Besides, with the contract signed, her mother may have sought the King’s favor to force the marriage if I refused.”

“Why would the King get involved? I would think a broken engagement of little concern to someone in his position.”

“Unfortunately, there are times when he finds it necessary to exercise his authority.” Henry stared out into the woods, though by the look on his face, he was even farther away.

“I’m surprised your father consented to have you indentured if the marriage was so important. Seven years of service seems rather contrary to his immediate plans.”

“My father didn’t know I was sent over. At present he probably thinks I’m dead or have run away from home. He will only know of my whereabouts when the letter reaches him through Captain Harlow.”

This news shocked me. “How could you be indentured without his knowledge?”

“Someone thought my father owed a debt, and had me pressed into taking passage to the Colonies.”

My mouth went suddenly dry.
Pressed...
“You were indentured against your will?”

He waved off my question. “The particulars are not important.”

“But Henry,” I protested. “This isn’t right. We must contact the authorities at once.”

“I’ve written to my father and that will serve for now.” He smiled at me. “Besides, we’ve made a deal. You saved me from Fletcher and I’m going to save you from Crowley. There’s time enough to get matters in England straightened out.”

I shook my head, greatly disturbed by this revelation. It was bad enough that I’d used his station as an indenture to force him into marriage. But if the contract had not been legal from the start, I’d be an accomplice to the far worse crimes of kidnapping and forced servitude.
Merciful heavens!
I’d be guilty of slavery!

“In good faith, I must cancel the contract. Or at the very least, postpone your indenture until an investigation has been conducted into—”

Henry held up a hand to cut me off. “I’ve already told you that the matter has been dealt with for now, and I see no reason to break our deal.” A hint of a smile spread over his mouth. “Unless you are trying to get rid of me.”

“No!” I practically cried, much to my own surprise. Getting rid of Henry was the last thing I wanted to do.

His smile widened. “Then we will agree to let things rest.”

I bit my bottom lip in thought. “All right,” I said after a moment, “but you must promise to let me know if you have second thoughts.”

He placed a hand on his chest. “Upon my soul, I swear to confess any dissatisfaction with my current situation. Will that do?”

I gave him a wry look, not sure what to make of his carefree attitude. There were rumors of those who profited from illegally pressing people into servitude—
spiriting them away
, I believe it was called. If this had ever happened to me, I would be pounding on the doors of every authority from here to Philadelphia, demanding justice. And if that failed, I would have had no qualms about escaping, contract or not.

My breath caught from the memory of Henry’s previous interest in Boston and the long walks he’d taken late at night when first arriving at Brighmor. “Do you know anyone else in the Colonies?” I hoped he hadn’t noticed the strain in my voice.

“My father has an acquaintance who lives in Boston. Why do you ask?” He looked at me with keen interest, seemingly forgetting how he had all but asked me to draw a map showing the quickest route from Philadelphia to Boston less than two weeks ago.

“No reason,” I lied. “I was just wondering.”

He’d given me enough to think about for some time, and I fell silent while I worked the pieces into a clearer picture. Like myself, he had nearly been forced into marriage, and one that might have gotten the King’s notice if he refused. This seemed highly irregular for the son of a retired sailor, unless Henry’s father had been more important, or higher up in command, than I assumed.

Which made the matter of his indenture all the more puzzling. In light of what he had told me, I should have torn the contract into pieces regardless of any protests otherwise. I knew this was the right thing to do, but I couldn’t—not yet anyway.

My head was spinning by the time we got back into the carriage. Henry let the reins rest idly in his hands and turned to me. “Do you think it’s so important for like to marry like?” he asked.

“Sometimes,” I answered hesitantly, unsure about the direction of his question.

“What if two people fall in love who are completely different? Do you think it could work?”

“How different are they?”

“Not even from the same world,” he said, staring at me.

I swallowed hard. “Some differences are too great to overcome. In these cases, I’m afraid the lovers would be destined to a life of misery.”

“So you don’t think love can overcome any obstacle?” he asked indignantly, though his smile said otherwise. “I thought all women were hopeless romantics and believed such things.”

“Only those who prefer fairytales to reality.” I laughed. “In this life, people aren’t so ready to accept what they don’t understand.”

“Then maybe I would prefer to live in a fairytale, if it means the freedom to love whomever I want.” He turned toward the horse and snapped the reins.

As the inertia pulled me back in my seat, I was struck by the similarity of our predicaments. We might not be so different after all. The idea seemed possible for about three seconds. Then I remembered what I was, and almost laughed out loud from the absurdity of such a thought.

* * *

At the Appletons’, a maidservant showed us into a small sitting room where Matthew and Susanna greeted us happily. Gauging Susanna’s wry smile, I knew at once that our scheme had been discovered. After the promised cake and wine, we slipped into her bedroom.

“So, Matthew told you I was feeling poorly today,” she said when the door was closed.

“I already suspected, since you weren’t at meeting. And if he hadn’t invited me over tonight, I would have come over first thing tomorrow morning with some excuse of my own.”

“It appears that between the two of you, I’m not allowed a bad day to myself.” She laughed good-naturedly and took a seat at the end of the bed. “Do you want to hear everything then, or should I keep to the bigger problems?”

“Oh, you’d better tell me everything,” I said, placing two fingers on her wrist. “Because I’ll just find out later from Matthew anyway.”

While Susanna relayed her various ailments, I counted her pulse and then checked her feet and ankles for swelling. Wanting a better sense of what was going on with the baby, I placed one hand directly on her abdomen and took a quick peek inside where I found the infant girl curled up and peacefully sleeping. Her heartbeat felt weaker than I wanted, but there was still plenty of time for improvement.