Goddess Born (27 page)

* * *

It was well past midnight when we started for home. Jealousy fumed like an inferno inside me, taking the chill from the night air, while Henry was so distant, even the stars in their perch high up in the dark sky felt closer. We both remained absolutely silent until Henry stopped the shay in front of the carriage house. He let the reins go slack, but made no movement to get out.

“Once Nathan is found, I will be returning to England,” he said coolly, without so much as looking at me.

I pursed my mouth to keep from yelling. “Will you be taking Phoebe with you? When you’re in England, there won’t be anything to get in the way of your attachment.”

Henry turned toward me, his face etched with fury. “What are you talking about?”

“I just assumed, based on how much fun you were having tonight.”

He snorted with derision. “
Fun
is the last word I would use for tonight. Without a doubt, it was one of the worst evenings I’ve spent in the Colonies. Or ever, for that matter.”

“I would never have guessed by the way you two were carrying on.”

“You’ve no right to judge me,” he said, his voice rising. “I asked her to dance one time tonight. After that she hounded my every movement. What was I supposed to do? Refuse her requests? It’s not like my wife was vying for my attention.”

My chin jutted forward. “She’s a beautiful woman. I’m sure it wasn’t too much of a hardship for you.”

“I could say the same thing about Teme. After I’m gone, just how long will you wait to marry him?”

“Marry Teme?” I said incredulously. “Don’t be absurd.”

“You wore his necklace tonight.
To our wedding party
. What else am I supposed to think?”

“He only made that offer out of respect for my family,” I huffed. “Do you have any idea how bad such a marriage would be for him, or what an awful wife I would make? I’ve never been taught to skin a deer or to cook. The man would starve in a week if he had to rely on me to take care of him.”

Henry looked down, studying the reins in his hands. “I misread your intentions. It was wrong to presume.”

“Yes, it was,” I said, my anger so riled that I leapt out of the shay, ready to be away.

“Oh, not again!” Henry sprang from his own seat to come after me. “You’ll not be running away until we’re finished speaking.” He grabbed my arm and pulled me toward the carriage house, putting my back against the rough stone wall to keep me from escaping.

“Let me go!” I demanded.

His grip held fast as he loomed over me like a furious titan. “Just as soon as you tell me what I’ve done to earn your contempt.”

My swollen emotions fought for room against the extra-tight stays. “You are quite mistaken,” I said, struggling to control my breath. “I hold you in the highest esteem, and am most grateful for your assistance.”

Henry gave a curt, mirthless laugh. “It’s not your esteem and gratitude that I want.” He let go of my arm and strode away to gaze down at the pond in the distance. Moonlight illuminated his wide stance and the fists planted on either hip. “Do you still wonder why I stayed to help with Nathan, even after my contract was terminated?”

“To appease your honor,” I said tartly.

“Ben and William would have gladly accepted the responsibility. With two men so willing to protect you, my honor would not have suffered.”

“Then why did you stay?”

I hadn’t moved, and he turned back around to face me. “Have I not made my feelings plain enough?” he asked, his voice cracking with emotion. “I stayed because I love you, Selah. So much that it feels like my heart is being torn out every time you pull away from me. At least in England, I won’t have to see you every day, and spend my life wishing for something I can never have.”

His words shot through me like a sudden flash of lightning, and I gaped at him in stunned silence.

“My confession was unwarranted,” he said brusquely, misinterpreting my reaction. “I should never have told you. I’ll leave Brighmor in the morning.”

That was not at all what I wanted. “No,” I whispered, shaking my head. “Please, don’t leave me.”

“I can’t keep living under the same roof, pretending to be your husband. I’ll go mad from the effort.”

He couldn’t go. In a panic, I went to him and grabbed his arm. “You can’t leave,” I said, nearly choking on the words.

“And why not? Nathan is no longer a threat.”

“This isn’t about Nathan!” I cried. “I love you and I won’t let you go!”

For several seconds he resisted, but then I was in his arms, and he was kissing me, his mouth hard against mine, demanding the truth. My body responded immediately to his passion, and the warmth came pouring out. He held me tighter, his arms shaking as it washed over him.

“Oh, Selah,” he breathed once the moment had passed. “Can you truly love me?”

“Yes,” I laughed, tears coming to my eyes. “I love you more than anything in this world—even more than my stupid gift. That’s why I keep pulling away. Every time you touch me, it’s like my power is trying to break free.”

He raised a brow. “So, I’m causing this?”

“I’ve always been able to control it, but not with you.”

He kissed me again, long and tender until every nerve in my body began to tremble, drawing even more power to the surface. It clearly pleased him to have such an effect on me. “You should not have tried to hide it. I already knew you were different. It was one of the reasons I loved you.”

“I feared you would despise me. That you would think I was evil.”

“I could do neither. This is hard to explain, but when it happens, it’s like I can feel your soul. Not just on my skin, but deep inside.”

I liked that image very much.

“Tell me what it is. I’ll not rest until I know the truth.”

There could be no more secrets between us, no matter the outcome. “It won’t be easy to believe,” I warned him. “You might think I’m insane and leave me all the same.”

He shook his head. “Never. Now come in the house, and tell me. I promise to believe every word.”

Sitting beneath the starry sky seemed more appealing than a closed room. I could speak freely into the darkness, unrestrained by every look that may cross his face from the strangeness of my story. “It’s a beautiful night. Why don’t we stay outside?”

“All right,” he agreed. “Wait here, and I’ll go fetch a blanket for us to sit on.” Reluctant to leave, he kissed me once more before turning to go.

With a sigh, I leaned back against the carriage house. When he returned I would tell him everything, and hope his love was strong enough to endure.

Chapter Seventeen

A Time to Hate and a Time to Love

I stared up at the starry sky and deliberated how best to tell Henry. My story was quite simple really, it was getting things off to a good start that required some delicacy. Once he returned with the blanket, I would be responsible for completely altering his worldview. The task was daunting, and I struggled to come up with just the right words.

A
long time ago the goddess Brigid married a high king of Ireland...

Much too fairytale. Henry might think I was relating a bedtime story rather than my genealogy.

All is not as it may seem...

Too vague and convoluted. Besides, he had this part pretty well figured out by now.

I
am a direct descendant of the goddess Brigid...

Better, but overly blunt for my purposes. I needed to warm him up to the idea before fully disclosing my identity.

The perfect words eluded me. Discouraged, I pushed away from the carriage house and walked across the lawn to stare down at the waning moon reflected in the pond’s dark surface. Maybe it would be better to just speak freely, saying whatever popped into my head first. Henry was going to believe me or not, regardless if I had rehearsed every word in advance.

Soft footsteps approached in the grass behind me.
It’s now or never
, I thought and turned, anxious to be done with it. “Henry, I’ve no idea how...”

Something struck me hard in the head and everything went black.

* * *

I had no recollection of being lifted from the grass or traversing the short distance to the pond. The cool water jerked me awake, pulled at my hair and dress, and flowed over my face. Positioned on my back, I instinctively twisted around, frantically reaching out for anything to grab onto. Gaining two handfuls of wet wool, I yanked hard to bring my face back above the water.

Nathan gripped me tight around the ribcage, forcing me back down. “It is better for one to die...” I heard him say before the water rushed over me again. Kicking out, I caught him hard in the leg. He stumbled back, and I came up, gasping for air.

“You are an abomination!” Lunging, he caught hold of my arm and wrenched it painfully. “Suffer not a witch to live!”

I tried to pull away, but the water swirled around my waist, and yards of wet linen and silk clung to my legs. Nathan yanked me around and, digging his fingers into my shoulder, forced me back under. This time he used the other hand to grab my skirts, effectively binding my legs as he hoisted them upward. I was trapped, my head beneath the water with only my arms left to fight. I flailed wildly, clutching at the long pond grass all around me.

My lungs burned for air and I clenched my teeth to keep from gulping a mouthful of water. Black spots dotted my vision. They grew larger, started to close in like a death shroud.
Gracious God
,
please help me...

Nathan suddenly jerked to the side and his grip slackened. Before my feet found the bottom, someone grabbed my arms, pulling me from the pond, and I found myself sprawled on the grassy bank, gasping for air.

Henry knelt at my side, water dripping from his clothing and hair. While I sputtered and coughed, he gently rubbed my back and arms, soothing me with his touch.

A loud splash came from the pond. I tensed at once, but Henry showed no concern over the noise. A man grunted, and there was more splashing, followed by the meaty thump as something heavy was dropped in the grass.

“Nathan,” I rasped. “Where is he?”

Henry pushed several strands of wet hair from my face. “You needn’t worry about him.”

“But—”

“Shh,” he soothed “You’re safe now.” He then shifted his weight to the side, and I blinked at the sight of Nathan, lying on his back, an arrow deep in his left side.

Teme bent down for a closer look. “He will die soon,” he said, satisfied with his work.

I pushed myself up for a better look, only to find Nathan staring at me. Soon was a bit too long for my liking—I wanted the man dead now.

His strength gone, Nathan could barely lift his arm as he tried to reach for me. “Please help me, Selah,” he pleaded in a hoarse whisper. “Don’t let me die.”

I flinched as though struck. It didn’t make any sense. Nathan despised me, despised my gift. Why would he ask me to heal him?

“Help me, Selah,” Nathan said again, the words barely audible. He met my eyes with such a look that it was impossible to pretend I didn’t hear.

“Awwwww!” I cried out in fit of rage. Of course I could help him, and now that he had asked, I was obligated to act. Getting to my knees, I started crawling toward him.

Henry tried stopped me. “What are you doing? The wound is too serious. Let the man die.”

I strained against his hold. “I can’t. He’s asked for my help.”

“But there’s nothing to be done. The arrow’s too deep, even the best surgeon couldn’t help him now.”

On the verge of tears, I pressed my fist into the wet ground to keep from screaming. “Henry, if you don’t let me go, I’ll be cursed for the rest of my life. It’s my duty and I have to at least try.” No matter how much I hated the man.

The urgency in my voice was enough for Henry to release his hold, and I crawled the remaining distance to Nathan’s side. Tearing his shirt away from the wound, I placed my hands directly on his skin. Teme had intended the shot to be deadly, piercing the left lung and nicking the heart. Blood trickled from Nathan’s mouth, carried up by his labored breathing as he fought to live.

While assessing the damage, I felt his heart seize. Summoning the necessary strength, my power surged into his chest, causing him to convulse and lifting him several inches from the ground. I did it again, filling Nathan with so much power that his skin crackled with Brigid’s fire. From close behind me, Henry drew in a sharp breath and cursed.

Once the heart steadied, I began to guide the arrow out of the lung, gently pulling it along its original path until it fell from Nathan’s side. It was too late to worry about being discovered, and I allowed a constant stream of warmth to flow into him, mending both heart and lung within minutes. I then healed the torn muscles and chipped bones, working my way from the inside out. By the time I finished, there wasn’t a mark left, or any way for Henry to doubt what I would soon tell him. Exhausted, I collapsed in the grass next to Nathan.

“Selah!” Henry yelled, rushing to my side.

“I’m all right,” I reassured him. “I just need to rest. Please bring Nathan up to the house.”

“You carry Selah,” Teme said. “I’ll take Nathan.”

Henry lifted me into his arms, cradling my head against his chest. Teme retrieved his arrow from the grass before hoisting Nathan over his shoulder. We made a somber group as we trudged up the lawns to Brighmor where Mrs. Ryan met us at the front door.

“Oh my!” she exclaimed, seeing my disheveled appearance. “Are you hurt, ma’am?”

“She’ll be fine,” Henry said. “Please send a large basin of warm water up to our room. And show Teme to my old room. Nathan Crowley will be staying the night.”

Mrs. Ryan exclaimed once more when Teme came into the house with Nathan tossed over his shoulder much like a sack of wheat. Regaining her composure, she hurried up the stairs just ahead of us.

Henry carried me into my room and laid me down on the bed. Not bothering to ask permission, he unhooked my ruined gown and pulled it over my head. My hoops and stays posed some difficulty since the ties were wet, but he worked the knots until these also came free and joined the growing pile of wet clothing on the floor. Going no further, he pulled a thick quilt over me.

“Can you remove your shift and stockings by yourself?” he asked.

I wrestled out of the garments, handing them over a piece at a time.

Henry dropped the last bit of clothing to the floor. “Mrs. Ryan will be up shortly with warm water,” he said. “I’m going to speak with Teme. Nathan needs to be guarded tonight until I can get George out here in the morning. Will you be all right by yourself for awhile?”

I yawned in reply and snuggled into the quilt.

Henry leaned over to kiss me on the cheek. “I’ll have tea brought up. We have some things to discuss before you fall asleep tonight.” Then he stood and left the room.

Well, that was an understatement if ever I’d heard one. Thankfully, Henry had refrained from demanding answers on the spot, and I snuggled deeper into the bed to wait for Mrs. Ryan.

A good hour passed by the time Henry returned in a fresh linen shirt and woolen breeches. He wore no stockings and his tawny hair fell loose to his shoulders. I had donned a linen nightgown and now sat in the chair by the hearth with my legs tucked up beneath me, nursing a cup of tea. Henry didn’t bother to carry over the chair from my dressing table, choosing instead to lean against the wall with his arms folded across his chest. From the hard look in his eyes, I knew the time of reckoning had arrived and I would receive no quarter or further reprieves from the truth. Our future teetered on a thin edge, poised to fall either way depending on this moment. Having no idea where to start, I remained silent and waited for him to speak first.

“I’ve seen Nathan,” he began tentatively. “His wounds are completely healed.”

Already well aware of Nathan’s condition, I kept an impassive face and sipped my tea as I waited for him to continue. At my request, Mrs. Ryan had added willow bark to the pot to help with the goose egg currently throbbing on the side of my head where Nathan had struck me. I also tasted valerian root—not that I would need any help falling asleep tonight.

Henry stayed against the wall, his green eyes fixed on mine, holding me in place despite the distance between us. Silence prevailed except for the heavy thump of my heart; it seemed to pound with the steady force of a Lenape drum. The seconds stretched into an uncomfortable minute, and then another, before he finally spoke.

“What happened at the pond?” he asked, the words so heavy I could feel their weight. “How did you heal Nathan like that?”

I took a shaky breath to help steady my nerves. “It’s a gift from my first mother. You felt the same power when we kissed.”

His brows creased to a deep
v
as he worked to connect the two events. “I’ve no idea what to make of it. From what I saw tonight, I’m beginning to wonder if you’re even human.”

“Of course I am,” I said indignantly.

His expression turned skeptical.

“Well, at least half,” I added, not exactly sure of the proportions.

“And what of the other half?”

I sighed and put down the teacup. This was about the best opening that I could expect. “Have you ever heard of Brigid from the Irish legends?”

“You mean the Celtic goddess?”

I nodded. “If you’re familiar with her name then I’m sure you’ve heard the story how she married King Bres of Ireland and bore three sons. I am Brigid’s descendant.”

“That’s just a myth,” he said slowly, narrowing his eyes on my face. “It’s impossible.”

A nervous laugh hit the back of my throat. “What I did tonight was impossible. You saw the arrow. Nathan should be dead right now. And he would be if not for my gift, as would Meg Appleton.”

“You healed the baby?” He uncrossed his arms and planted a hand on either hip. “Are you sure?”

My pride bristled from his dubious tone. “Yes, I’m sure. Her heart was defective. I had to fix it right after she was born to keep her from dying like Susanna’s other babies.”

He opened his mouth to speak, only to snap it shut again.

Tension sparked between us, burning hotter than the fire in the hearth. “I told you it would be difficult to believe, that you might think me crazy.”

“And I might have, if not for Nathan.”

I glared at him. “Then I shall count myself lucky that he tried to kill me tonight and I had to save him. Otherwise, where would we be?”

Henry pulled a curt breath through his nose. “Oh, you saved him, all right, while I stood by and watched you lift him off the ground with nothing more than a touch.” His voice grew louder and he pointed a finger in my direction to emphasize the point. “An arrow struck the man in the chest! He should be dead, but there isn’t even a mark!”

My cheeks grew hot with rage. “You promised to believe me! Would you have preferred that I lied?”

“Of course not,” Henry snapped, running a hand through his hair in a fit of frustration. Leaning both arms against the mantel, he stared for a long moment into the fire. “The legend says Brigid belonged to the Fae. Is this what you are?”

I laughed outright this time. “I’m not a faerie, at least not in the sense you mean. Brigid was part of a divine race called the
Tuatha dé Dannan
. They were the
Aes Sidhe
, or immortals that lived in Ireland long before any humans arrived. The
Aes Sidhe
left the mortal world more than a thousand years ago, preferring their own company to that of humans. For the most part, faeries are just fanciful imaginations based on these gods and goddesses. Some of the stories, though, are probably based on my kind.”

He turned from the fire to look at me. “And what exactly is your kind?”

His skepticism weighed upon me. I heard it in his voice, saw it in the way he remained standing at a distance. “We’d best stop for tonight. You’re already having a difficult time believing me.”

“It’s not that I don’t believe you.” Henry blinked several times, seemingly surprised by his own admission. “You’ve given me a lot to consider is all. I would like to know the rest.”

“If that’s your choice,” I said, secretly pleased. Maybe there was hope after all. “Brigid called her descendants
leath’dhia
. Do you speak Gaelic?”

He shook his head. “Hardly a word.”

“What about Latin?”

“I speak and read fluently.”

“Then you should know
semideus
.”

“Half god,” he translated. “Is that what you are? A demigod?”

I shrugged, not entirely comfortable with the term. “In a manner of speaking, but we’ve been called many things through the ages. Several ancient texts refer to another race of divine beings who would occasionally visit this world. In Hebrew and Aramaic they were called
Mal’ach
. The Greeks called them
Angelos
. When Christianity first came to Ireland, some of the priests thought my kind belonged to this race and mistook us for angels.”