Golden Trail (84 page)

“Would you let someone see Mom, you’re
pissed as hell at them?” Merry retorted and Dave’s torso jerked
back. “Yeah, that’s what this is. You know what this is. We’re
Merricks for fuck’s sake. You’re like that. I’m like that. Mom was
like that. Rocky’s like that and, you know, Rocky’s gonna find a
man like that. So, Tanner’s pissed and we need
to go.
”

Dave glared at his son. Then he turned his
glare on Doc. Then he turned his glare on Layne. Then he turned on
his foot and stalked to the front door.

Merry’s eyes went to Layne. “We’ll work this
out, brother.”

“I wouldn’t hold your breath ‘til that
happens, Garrett.”

Merry studied him then shook his head, a
small, sad grin on his face.

Then he said, “You’re pissed now but you
love her. We’ll work this out.”

Merry was right but Layne sure as fuck
wasn’t going to give that to him. So he stayed silent and watched
Merry walk out.

“I’ll go to the office,” Doc announced after
the door closed behind Merry. “Get some names. Good counselors.
I’ll call you with numbers. She needs to find one she trusts and
start right away.”

Layne nodded.

“I didn’t give her much, she won’t be out
long,” Doc went on. “I’ll leave some sleeping pills. She has
trouble sleeping, you need to make her take them. If she wakes and
she’s still not well, exhibiting disorientation, any of the
symptoms you saw, even amnesia, not remembering what happened
today, I need to know.”

“Right,” Layne grunted.

Doc rounded the island and got close to
Layne. “You need to make yourself safe harbor, Tanner. She needs to
know she can lay this weight on you. It’s heavy, son, you want her
better, you learn to brace.”

“She’s safe now, Doc,” Layne muttered and
Doc’s eyes searched his face.

Then he nodded and murmured, “I reckon
so.”

Doc’s eyes swept the room, he nodded again
then he turned to go but he stopped by the stairs and turned back.
His eyes locked on Layne and he spoke.

“Later, not now, later, you think about
Rocky, how you feel about her, then how you’d feel learning that
she was tortured then shot twice in the chest and once in the
face.” Layne’s middle jerked back at Doc’s words but he didn’t
break eye contact. “It happened to you, you might deal with it
different. You might make better choices. But that man did what he
could carrying the burden that he brought that on his wife and left
his daughter with demons. A burden he’s still carrying, Tanner.
You’re right to be angry but no good man can understand the burden
Dave Merrick carries and hold a grudge.”

With that successful parting shot, Doc
turned away and disappeared.

Layne stood frozen for long moments after he
left and only moved when he felt Tripp fit his body against Layne’s
side, his arms going around his Dad’s waist, his cheek to Layne’s
shoulder and his boy hugged him.

Layne’s arm went around Tripp’s shoulders
and he gave him a squeeze.

Tripp stepped back from Layne and looked in
his old man’s eyes. “Can I go up and sit with Gram and Rocky?” he
asked quietly.

God, Tripp was a good kid.

Layne lifted a hand, curled it around
Tripp’s neck and squeezed. “You okay after you saw that, Pal?”

“Yeah, I’m just worried Roc’s not okay.”

“She’ll be okay,” Layne assured his son on
another squeeze and a short tug.

“You think you can fix her?” Tripp
asked.

“I know it,” Layne answered.

Tripp smiled, it was wonky and halfhearted
but he did it.

“Good thing is, I didn’t have to tackle
her,” Tripp noted.

“Yeah, that’s good,” Layne replied.

“But I stole her keys out of her purse.
They’re in between Blondie’s forty-first and forty-second food
bowls,” Tripp informed him and Layne returned his smile, figuring
his was halfhearted too but at least it was a smile.

“Thanks, Pal” Layne said on another
squeeze.

“I’m gonna go up,” Tripp whispered, Layne
nodded and let him go.

Tripp gave him a long, last look, turned and
ran up the stairs.

Layne felt cold on his arm and turned to see
Jasper was holding a beer there.

“Think he needs whisky, boy,” Devin
grunted.

Layne took the beer from Jas, slapped him on
the shoulder and said to Dev, “Not sure whisky’s a good idea right
now. Or, not as much as I want of it.”

“Right,” Devin was in the liquor cupboard,
“you need your faculties about you. I, on the other hand, can get
as drunk as I want.”

Layne moved to the island and felt Jasper
crowding him, like he did Tripp and Seth when Cosgrove abused them
and he turned to look at his son.

“I’m good, Bud,” he murmured.

“Okay, Dad,” Jas murmured back but he didn’t
move away so Layne flung his arm around his boy’s shoulders and
pulled him, hard, into his side.

Jasper slid his arm around Layne’s waist and
held on.

Devin opened the bottle of whisky and turned
to Layne.

“What’d I say?” Devin asked.

“About what?” Layne asked back.

Devin looked at him. Then he said,
“
Kaboom!
” Then he put the whisky bottle to his lips, tipped
his head far back and took a huge shot straight from the
bottle.

Jasper turned his head and Layne did the
same, they caught each other’s eye and Jasper shook his head.

Layne looked back to Devin who was now
staring at them, still holding the bottle by its neck.

“Also told you she’s worth the effort.”

“Already knew that, old man.”

“Yeah, well, know you know it more.” His
eyes slid to Jas. “Seen a lot of things, done a lot of things,
wounds to the flesh hurt but they heal fast. Wounds to the soul
never go away. It’s how we cope with a pain that never dies that
makes us the people we are. Daily, people demonstrate acts of
courage just so they can get through to the night. That woman
upstairs smiles and laughs and cooks and teaches and no one knew
the pain she carried in her soul. In other words, there are
warriors and then there are warriors. In your Dad’s bed lies a
warrior. Learn from her, boy.”

“Right,” Jasper whispered.

“Your Dad’s gone, I’m gone, you or your
brother have her back,” Devin ordered.

“Right,” Jasper repeated on another
whisper.

“Until she’s freed, she can turn at any
time. One of us needs to catch her should she fall,” Devin went
on.

“Right,” Jasper whispered again.

“Brief your brother,” Devin demanded.

“Right,” Jasper whispered yet again.

“Now,” Devin announced, “I’m havin’ a
stoagie and gettin’ drunk.” His eyes hit Layne. “And that dog’s
been quarantined outside throughout this situation and I’m not
lettin’ her in yet so, goes without sayin’, me outside with whisky
and a stoagie and your fuckin’ dog, tells you what you mean to me,
boy.”

Then he strode to the door, opened it,
Blondie attacked him on his first step on the cement patio and he
closed the door.

Layne squeezed Jasper’s shoulder and stepped
away.

“You good?” Layne asked.

“I’m good,” Jasper answered.

“Ignore Dev, he can be dramatic.”

“Seems pretty smart to me.”

Layne looked into Jasper’s eyes.

Then he asked, “Sure you’re good?”

“Yeah, Dad.”

“I was shot, awhile ago, Bud and –”

“I’m good, Dad.”

“We haven’t talked about that, I wanted to
give you boys time.”

“You don’t need to give us time.”

“Jas –”

“Dad, we know what you do for a living and
we know why. It’s jacked up, what happened to Roc’s Mom because she
was a Mom, not someone like you. It sucked, you gettin’ shot, and I
can’t say that Tripp and me weren’t scared, we were. But you’re
here, we’re tight so it’s all good.”

“You ever wanna talk,” Layne said
quietly.

Jasper grinned at him. “Yeah, but, I need to
talk, I’ll pick a time when Rocky’s not sedated in your
bedroom.”

Layne grinned back. “Good call,” he muttered
then lifted the bottle in his hand. “You wanna beer?”

Jasper’s brows shot up. “Seriously?”

“Fuck no,” Layne replied.

Jasper chuckled.

Layne moved into his son, wrapped an arm
around him and pulled him close, let him go, turned and walked up
the stairs to Rocky.

* * * * *

Layne knew she was awake ten minutes before
she stirred and lifted her head from his chest.

Her neck twisted and her eyes hit his.

“Faker,” he whispered.

She blinked slowly.

Then she whispered back, “What?”

“Sweetcheeks, you’ve been fakin’ sleep for
ten minutes.”

“Oh.” She was still whispering and now
pushing away.

So Layne’s arm, already around her,
tightened and he pulled her up his chest.

She put slight pressure on him, not too much
but avoided his eyes.

“Baby, look at me,” Layne ordered gently and
her eyes came to his. “How you feelin’?”

“Weird,” she answered.

“You remember?”

She pressed her lips together. Then she
nodded.

“All of it?”

“What day is today?” she asked.

“Saturday,” he answered.

“Then yes. All of it.”

“How many days you lose to this shit?”

“Well, I’ve been lying there thinking about
it and I’m guessing… two.”

“That’s my guess too,” Layne told her. “So
it never happened before?”

“Not that I know of.”

“But you might not remember?”

“I’m thinking… no.”

“Doc gave me some names and numbers of
people you can call. We’ll see it never happens again.”

She stopped pressing against him and her
weight hit his side.

Then she whispered, “Tripp and Jas saw
–”

“Don’t worry about it.”

“I think –”

“Rocky, honey, you know they’re good kids.
This is life. I can’t shield them from life forever. They’ve gotta
learn how to deal. What happened was real. It needed to happen. You
needed to get that shit out. You did it surrounded by people who
care a lot about you. When that shit happens, that’s the best place
to be.”

“It’s embarrassing,” she whispered.

“Baby,” he whispered back, pulling her
closer and wrapping his other arm around her. “Your mother died
while you listened. That marked you. There is nothing embarrassing
about that. You loved her, you lost her and it marked you. It’s not
embarrassing because there’s beauty in that.”

“Beauty?” she breathed.

“You loved her.”

Her eyes grew bright with tears and she
nodded.

“That’s beautiful.”

She dropped her head, planted her face in
his chest and his hand came up and slid over her hair.

“You go to her grave,” Layne whispered.

“I miss her,” Rocky whispered back.

“She was a good Mom,” Layne stated.

“The best.” She lifted her head and looked
at him. “You would have liked her. She was funny.”

“I remember her. You look like her.”

She nodded. Then she sucked in breath.

“It was talking about having babies,” she
whispered. “After you said that, I started to get these
thoughts.”

Layne’s arms gave her a squeeze. “I’m sorry,
honey.”

She shook her head. “Don’t be. You can’t
guard against everything you say.”

“No.”

“Then it was the table.” She shook her head
again. “Mom always made us eat at the table. Every night. I have
trouble eating at a table.” Her eyes were intense on his. “It’s
been hard, since she’s been gone, to sit at a table with family
around. When we were together, I used to look at you, something
about looking at you made me settle.”

Layne closed his eyes then opened them and
wrapped his hand around her neck.

“I remember,” he told her.

“It made me feel safe.”

“Yeah?”

“I knew, you were around, you’d never let
anything hurt me.”

“Baby.” His voice was hoarse and his arm at
her back and hand at her neck gave her a tight squeeze.

“I’m scared a lot, Layne,” she admitted
quietly. “So often, I got used to it. It lives with me. It’s in my
skin.”

“It gets to you, if it’s dark.”

She nodded. “You help me beat it back.”

“Rocky –”

“Then and now.”

“Baby –”

“I don’t want to be scared anymore,
Layne.”

His fingers slid into her hair and he pulled
her face to his, touching his mouth to hers, then he let her move
back an inch.

“We’ll see to that, yeah?”

“Yeah.”

His thumb swept her cheek but his eyes
didn’t leave hers and then she dropped her head and rested her
cheek to his chest, her arm wrapping around him.

“I ruined our dinner plans,” she whispered
to his chest.

“We’ll do it next weekend.”

“The boys won’t be here,” she reminded
him.

“Jasper’s got a car, they can be wherever
they wanna be. They’ll wanna be here.”

“Gabrielle won’t like that.”

“Do I give a fuck?”

A startled giggle escaped her then she held
on tighter.

Then she muttered, “I’m hungry.”

“What you want, baby?”

She lifted her head. “Shanghai Salon?”

His brows went up. “Sesame chicken?”

Her mouth got soft and her lids lowered.
“You remembered.”

“How many times do I have to tell you,
sweetcheeks? I remember everything.”

“Thank you, Layne.”

“For what?”

“For loving me like you do.”

His arms tightened around her and they did
it automatically.

“Christ, Roc,” he muttered.

“Mom would have liked you too.”

“Baby, stop it.”

“Because you love me like you do.”

“Rocky –”

“And ‘cause you’re hot.”

He gave a startled bark of laughter and
stared at her.

“Because I’m hot?”

“She used to point out all the cute boys to
me. Say things like, ‘Rocky, look at him. He’s the perfect height
for you.’ and ‘Rocky, he’s cute, but he’s blond. Blond boys can be
cute but they’ll always be cute. Cute dark boys will turn
gorgeous.
’ Stuff like that.”