Read Golem in the Gears Online
Authors: Piers Anthony
Tags: #Fiction, #Fantasy, #Fantastic fiction, #General, #Fantasy fiction, #Epic, #Xanth (Imaginary place)
Again the Demon didn't blink. Little pads of paper appeared in each of their hands, and pencils in each of their other hands.
There was a small stir in the vast audience, and Grundy saw that each member of it also had a little pad and a
pencil, except for Rapunzel, who had a puncil. Everyone was keeping score.
Grundy was shaken by another doubt. He had not had time to work this out thoroughly in his mind. Suppose his insight was not sound, and his strategy did not produce victory? Not only would he be confined forever in the storage lake of the Brain Coral and the Hag be given access to Rapunzel's body—everyone in Xanth would know. His humiliation would be complete and eternal. The golem in the gears, who had the chance to make things right, and fouled it up.
The very notion made him shiver and sweat. He had the apprehension of the inevitable, knowing that if any- thing good were to occur here, it could not be by the agency of anything as insignificant as a mere golem with a big mouth. Why was he even trying?
Then he saw Rapunzel watching him. She smiled and blew him a kiss. She believed in him.
She believed in him.
He might fail himself and fail others, as he had so often before. But how could he fail her?
"Now each of us will make a mark on our sheets," he told the Hag. "We shall make a smiley-face for Nice, meaning that we do not give evidence against the other prisoner, or a scowl-face for Nasty, meaning that we do the selfish thing and give the evidence. We each know that we will both be better off if neither is Nasty, but that one of us can get way ahead if that one is Nasty when the other is Nice. But we don't know how the other will choose. We won't know until we show our faces."
"Get on with it, wretch," the Hag said.
"I am." Grundy marked a big smiley-face on his top sheet, so that the Hag couldn't see it. Meanwhile she marked what was surely a scowl-face on hers.
"Now we shall show our faces," Grundy said. He turned his around and held it up so that everyone could see it. More grudgingly, the Hag showed hers.
It was exactly as he had anticipated. Hers was a scowl.
"Now the Sea Hag has chosen to give evidence," he said. "I did not. Therefore the Hag scores five points, and I score none."
There was a muted sigh in the audience. Evidently they had wanted the Hag to lose.
But the game had just begun. If his strategy was valid...
"Now we shall go to the second round," he said. "We shall each mark our sheets again."
They did so. Grundy marked a scowl-face.
When they showed their sheets, both of them had scowls. "This time we match," Grundy said. "Both acted selfishly, so each of us receives just one point."
"But I'm still ahead of you, Golem!" the Hag said with satisfaction.
"So it would seem," he agreed. "Now the third round."
They marked their sheets again, and showed them. Both were scowls. "Another point for each," Grundy said.
"Seven to two, my favor," the Hag gloated. "You aren't getting anywhere, wretch!"
"Fourth round," Grundy said.
Again they marked their sheets, and showed them.
I Again both were scowls. "Eight to three," the Hag cack- led. "Your stupid strategy is just digging you in deeper, Golem!"
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"Fifth round," Grundy announced grimly. They marked and showed again, with the same result, making the score nine to four.
"Sixth and final round," Grundy said. His preliminary calculation had suggested that this was the crucial point. He had to trust it.
They marked and showed—two scowls. "Ten to five— I win!" The Hag chortled.
"You win," Grundy agreed grimly. The audience was deathly quiet.
The Demon's lips twitched.
"But the trial is not over yet!" Grundy exclaimed. "This is only the first match."
"My matches proceed for eternity," the Demon grum- bled.
"Precisely," Grundy agreed. "One match is nothing; it is the totality that counts."
Now he went to the other Hag. "I will now repeat the encounter with the next opponent," he announced. "Each of us will mark our faces—" They paused to do so. "And show them." They did.
The result was the same as before: his smiley-face against her scowl-face. He was behind by five points.
They played out the remaining five rounds, with similar effect. The final score was 10-5, Hag's favor. "I like your strategy, Golem!" She cackled.
"I have now had two matches," Grundy announced. "I have a total of ten points, while my opponents have twenty."
The massed score-keepers in the audience nodded somberly. Their calculations agreed. Only Fracto seemed
pleased, though of course the cloud had no brief for the Hag.
But Rapunzel still smiled at him, showing her confi- dence. She, perhaps alone, retained her faith in him. He hoped it was justified.
He went to his third and final opponent, the other golem. Both marked their sheets, and showed them. There were two smiley-faces.
"Each of us has chosen to be Nice," Grundy announced.
"Therefore neither has the advantage. Each gets three
points."
They proceeded to the second round. The result was the same. Then the remaining rounds. In each case, each
scored three points.
The result of this match is a draw, Grundy an- nounced. "Eighteen to eighteen. I now have twenty- eight points total, while my opponents have accumulated
thirty-eight."
"So you are out of it," one of the Hags exulted. "One
of us will win!"
"Perhaps," Grundy said. Now they were coming to the next critical point. If the others acted true to form—
"Let's finish this," the other golem said. "I have still to match the two Hags."
"Yes," Grundy agreed. "But stick to the strategy."
"Gotcha." The golem went to one Hag and went through the match—with exactly the same result Grundy had had, losing ten to five. The wicked glee of the Hags could scarcely be contained, and the audience was glum indeed. The Demon looked bored, which was a bad sign.
Now it was time for the final match: Hag vs. Hag. Each had twenty points, from her tromping of the two
golems.
"Now if you'll just let me have some points—" one
Hag said to the other.
Grundy kept his face straight, but inside he was almost unbearably tight. His fortune depended on his analysis of the nature of the Hag. This was the final critical point. If
he had misjudged—"
"Like Hades, you old witch!" the other snapped. "I'm looking out for Number One!"
"Well, if you feel that way, wartsnoot!" the other responded. "See what you get from me!"
Grundy relaxed. He had judged correctly.
They marked and showed—and naturally each face was a scowl. One point for each.
Both angered by the seeming betrayal by the other, they went to the second round—and scowl met scowl again. One more point for each.
So it continued. When the match was done, the Hags were tied, six to six.
"Now note the cumulative scores," Grundy said. "Each Hag has twenty-six, while each Golem has twenty-eight. The Golems are ahead."
There was a stir of astonishment through the audience, as the folk checked their scoresheets. Many had not been keeping them up to date, being certain that the issue was already decided. The two Hags made shrieks of indig- nation, and the Demon's sleepy eyes snapped back to full alertness. Rapunzel clapped her hands with maidenly delight, her faith vindicated.
"Note that neither Golem ever won a single match," Grundy said. "But the final victory must go to a Golem. The longer this trial continues, the more certain this becomes. In an eternal trial, this strategy must inevitably prevail."
The Demon was definitely interested. Curls of vapor rose from his countenance. "What is that strategy?"
"I call it Tough But Fair," Grundy said. "I start out positive, but after that I do back to my opponent what- ever my opponent does to me. So when the Hag gave evidence against me in the first round, I did it back to her in the second—and continued until she changed. Since she never changed, we just kept on getting single points. When I matched against the other golem, and he was Nice to me, I was Nice to him in the next round—
and continued that way until he changed. Since he didn't change—"
"But you never won a match!" the Demon protested.
"And the Hags never lost a match," Grundy agreed. "But the victory does not go to the winner of matches, but to the scorer of the most total points, which is a different matter. I made more points tying with the other Golem than I lost losing to the Hags. Their selfish ways gave them short-term victories, but cost them the trial."
"A fluke!" a Hag screamed.
"No fluke," Grundy said. "You Hags can't cooperate with anyone, even your own kind, so you inevitably lose out to those of us who can. An enlightened coop- eration is better, in the long run, than short-term self- ishness." He turned to the Demon. "Now I realize this is just a simple game, hardly worthy of your notice. But the principle is sound. You should be able to apply the same strategy to your complex encounters with other Demons that are far beyond my understanding. You have been going for individual victories, and getting some, but like the Hags you have been losing overall. With this strategy you can lose matches, and the other Demons will think they are cleaning up, but inevitably as time passes—"
Slowly, the Demon smiled.
Then the cave was gone. Grundy was standing alone beside the Elf Elm. In the distance Stanley Steamer was lifting his head, getting wind of him.
And Rapunzel, golem-size, was swinging down on a line—no, it was her own hair, restored to its former length and splendor. The Demon X(A/N)th, eventually to be X[A/N]th or even • •X«A/N»th« •, had added a bo- nus.
Rapunzel landed, and her lovely tresses floated down
about her like a swirling halo as she did a little dance of joy. She was the most beautiful creature he could have imagined, and not just in her body. She laughed merrily as she ran to embrace him.
"Oh, Grundy!" she cried, and the two of them were lost amid the halo.