Good Chemistry (12 page)

“It has to do with his explosives training. He’s connected to someone in an open investigation and with his track record, he’s looking like the leading candidate right now.”

“Oh, okay. Well, give me his name and I’ll see what I can do.”

“I really appreciate this, Major.”

“No problem.”

Chapter 13

One month earlier

Bernie pulled up to the guard booth and arm gate in front of the entrance to the Saddle Brook Sanitarium. The guard checked her identification and scanned the visitors’ list. He found her name and lifted the gate for her to enter. She parked and began the arduous journey up the sixty or so steps leading up the hill to the main building.

The sanitarium took over an existing mansion and in its original incarnation, the spot that was now the parking lot used to be a moat. Whenever it rained, the staff would wear knee-high boots to get back and forth to their cars.

Bernie tensed up a little as she saw some of the patients milling around the lawn. They seemed completely unattended. A few finally spotted Bernie causing her to sprint the last twenty paces to the door. Whether they were begging graham cracker squares or wielding a kitchen knife, it didn’t matter. Bernie wanted no contact with them.

Bernie almost felt like a child as she grasped the comically oversized brass doorknob. She pulled with all her might thinking the door would be heavy, which it was, but it was mounted on an excellent set of hinges. The door flew open in Bernie’s face and she dashed inside.

Her first glimpse inside reminded her of a trip to a museum she took as a child. The main hall was mostly original: long, sweeping red drapes with busts of famous people displayed on pedestals. The carpeting was Persian style with intricate gold embroidery all along the edges. The rooms adjacent to the grand hall had been cannibalized by the sanitarium and modernized.

Bernie scanned the vast arching main hall. She felt like she was in a cave. She had the sudden urge to shout, to see if her voice would echo off the walls.

“May I help you?” a woman behind a narrow oak desk called out.

Bernie was startled but quickly caught herself and walked up to the woman.

“Hi. You have my friend in here, Judy Marx. I’d like to visit her please.” Bernie asked with a measured tone.

“Oh yes, she’s here. Let me get her ready. Then I’ll come and get you.” Judith vanished around a corner just as the massive front door began to creak open.

The patients who’d been milling around outside now all rushed inside urgently. Bernie froze and held her breath. The whole crazy horde of patients formed a single-file line and marched past Bernie as if she wasn’t even there. Bernie’s eyes darted from one patient to the next, as each one filed past. Then it struck her. Lunchtime. They were headed for the cafeteria.

Judith returned and said simply. “This way.” She led Bernie down a long side wing. There were rooms on either side of the wide hallway. The third one down was Judy’s.

Judith used a key from her massive key ring that completed the picture of her as the sour old jailer.

“Bernie!” Judy jumped off the bed and threw her arms around her friend.

“One hour. Buzz if you wish to leave sooner.” Judith pointed to a buzzer mounted on the doorframe like a doorbell.

“So, how are you holding up in here?” Bernie sat down on the edge of Judy’s plain twin bed.

“Actually it’s not as bad as you might think. The food isn’t half-bad. Except anything with pasta.” Judy made a face as she shook her head. “But my psychiatrist is really cute. I think he has a crush on me.”

Bernie’s eyes lit up. “Really? What did he say?” She scooped up Judy’s hands and held them tight.

“Well, it’s not so much what he said. I mean, well, he said I have an impulse control disorder with a strong vocalizing aspect.”

“What in the world does that mean?” Bernie demanded defensively on behalf of her friend.

“I think that’s science talk for I’m loud and pushy but I’m not sure. I wanted to ask you what it meant.” Judy beamed an eager smile at her.

Bernie got a look of deep concentration on her face. She was thinking of how she could explain to Judy that yes, she probably did have an issue with impulse control. And yes, she could occasionally be what some might consider loud and pushy. Realizing that none of this would be helpful, Bernie just smiled and squeezed Judy’s hand.

“So you think he has a crush on you?” Bernie was playing dirty. She simply waited for Judy’s short attention span to cycle on to the next thing so she could change the subject.

“Yeah. He always has this little something in his eyes whenever he talks to me. At first, I thought it was creepy. Like he was trying to look right through me or something. But then I got it. He wants me bad.”

The only part that Judy
got
right was the part about him staring past her. Dr. Rodero had developed macular degeneration and had a blind spot for things he was looking directly at. Judy was simply one of those things. But in Judy’s mind, they were halfway to a torrid love affair.

“So I saw your mom and dad. He’s only got a sprained wrist and your mom’s bruises aren’t that bad,” Bernie said reassuringly.

Judy’s parents had been deeply concerned about her with all the bizarre, naked and horny men hanging around her. After the accident, their concern turned to anger. They had Judy committed and as far as they were concerned, she could stay right there, until the doctors could figure out what was wrong with her and fix it.

“Forget about all that. It’s depressing. Tell me where you’re at with the fake tests. I mean what happened?” Judy piped up enthusiastically.

“I’m not doing any more tests. I mean not now. Not after what happened.” Judy was disconcerted.

“Quit! You can’t quit. That potion is the only thing making all this crap worth it.” Judy pointed her outstretched hands at the ceiling of the nut house imprisoning her.

“Oh, Judy.”

“Bernie, please, listen to me. I know I’m a goofball most of the time, and I like to try any crazy new thing that comes along, but this is different. I really need this stuff to work.” Judy seemed to deflate a little as she looked at her best friend with sad desperate eyes.

Bernie knew she wasn’t playing around. She knew better than anyone just how lonely Judy really felt.

“It’s just so dangerous.” Bernie looked pleadingly at Judy. But it was useless.

“Come on, Bernie. In all the years that we’ve been friends how many times have I ever really asked you for help? On really big stuff, I mean.”

Bernie felt herself melting at the tone in Judy’s voice. She decided to mess with her a little.

“Well, I did help you move.”

“But I moved in with
you
so you could pay off your student loans faster.” Judy took the bait and became combative until she saw the smile spreading across Bernie’s face.

“I was just screwing with you.”

“Oh, thank you, Bernie. Thank you.” Judy hugged Bernie close to her.

“I still think you’re wrong but I’ll do it to help you.” Bernie patted Judy on the back reassuring her while trying to ignore the growing sense of concern welling up inside of her.

Everyone around her was willing to go to such crazy lengths to find love. Bernie had already found it. The trouble was making him see it. If these people were willing to go through all this for love then Bernie vowed she would do something too.

“Besides, Bernie, the only side-effect you have to imitate is passing out. If he runs, don’t chase him. The passing out part should be enough to send Andrew back to the drawing board.”

“Yeah.”

Then they chuckled a little, stood, and hugged a final time.

Bernie pushed the buzzer to be let out. A momentary anxiety gripped her as she waited for someone to open the door. She feared that maybe the sanitarium wouldn’t let her leave. Finally, Judith pulled the door open. Bernie blew a kiss to Judy and Judith slammed the door shut with a clang.

Bernie drove over to Andrew’s parents’ house. Things were getting too out of hand for Bernie’s taste. It was time to enlist some help. She had to explain things to Joanna and Lewis before they got to the point of never wanting to set eyes on her again. And this time she had to tell them the whole truth. Bernie took a deep breath and rang the doorbell.

Nervously, the seconds ticked by and Bernie leaned back to look across the front of the house to see if both cars were there. They were. Bernie pushed the buzzer again. She watched the curtains to see if anyone was peeking out at her, but not wanting to be seen.

At last, the door made a sound like a vacuum seal being broken as it swung open. Joanna stood there in an aerobics outfit. It was a purple one-piece leotard with faded purple leggings. She seemed to tighten up the instant she saw who it was.

“Hey, Joanna. May I come in?”

“Oh, of course, dear. Please come in,” Joanna stammered. Unconsciously, she pulled the towel around her shoulder down to cover her cleavage.

Bernie noticed and began to blush.

“Andrew isn’t here. I—”

“I know. I need to speak with you and Lewis. I need to explain things before you two think I’m completely nuts.”

Joanna’s eyebrows arched as Bernie touched on exactly what she was thinking. “Let me grab Lewis. Here, have a seat.” Joanna gestured to the couch.

Bernie sat down and a few minutes later, Joanna returned with a reluctant Lewis in tow. Joanna sat next to her on the couch and Lewis sat in the brown overstuffed chair facing them.

“So what is it, Bernie? Is something wrong?”

As Joanna’s gaze searched her face for clues, Bernie felt her face and neck turning progressively hotter shades of red. But, Bernie used her newly acquired ability to push through it. “I . . . I . . . You see, Andrew wants to use the potion on a bartender named Heidi that he’s obsessed with.”

Joanna and Lewis both nodded. They’d heard Heidi’s name mentioned a few times.

“I can’t let him do that. I’ve been faking the tests with Andrew to stall for time.” Bernie paused and looked from one to the other, trying to tell if they hated her yet. “And well, I’ve been in love with your son since we first met in college,” Bernie said, finally managing to spit it out.

To her surprise, Lewis dug out his wallet and sheepishly handed a twenty-dollar bill to a giggling Joanna.

“See, I told you.” Joanna pecked away at him as he sat back down.

“Yes, yes, dear. You were right.”

Bernie frowned at them. What was going on?

“Oh, I’m sorry, Bernie. It’s just that we’ve been arguing about this for years. I always knew the two of you would end up together.” Joanna smiled warmly at Bernie, like she was welcoming her to the family.

“But that’s just the problem, you see. We’re not going to end up together. He’s going to end up with Heidi. Plus he’ll end up hating me for what I’ve done to his experiment.” Bernie burst into tears, and Joanna slid closer and hugged her.

“There, there, Sweetie, I’m sure things will be fine. We’ll figure something out.” Joanna looked at Bernie differently now that she knew for certain Bernie was in love with her son.

“Well, if you wouldn’t mind, you two could help me with the next round of fake tests.” Joanna and Lewis both leaned in closer. They were intrigued. Lewis, because of the full-contact potential with his future daughter-in-law and Joanna because she felt like she was fighting for someone who was already family.

“Of course, what do you need us to do?”

“Okay, in this test the side-effect is passing out. I’m going to fake it so Andrew has to go back to the drawing board. So if he rushes up here all freaked out just play along with whatever happens.” Joanna took Bernie’s hand and squeezed it tightly. Lewis nodded his assent.

“Ah, here he is.” Joanna saw Andrew pulling up outside.

“Are you guys talking about doing this right now?” Joanna asked foolishly.

Bernie gave her a look like that was a stupid question.

Joanna thought about it for a minute and remembered that this was Andrew they were dealing with. When he got an idea in his head, it was full speed ahead and damn the torpedoes. Joanna had known that since he was five.

“Hey, everybody.” Andrew came in and gave his mom a hug.

“Hey, Bernie. So are you ready for round two?”

Bernie got behind Andrew and started pushing him toward the basement door. She looked back over her shoulder and winked at Joanna who smiled in return.

Bernie closed the door behind them as they went down the basement stairs. Joanna and Lewis were instantly drawn to the door like refrigerator magnets. Downstairs, Bernie sat on the old white leather couch while Andrew got all of his notes arranged and prepared the syringe with the water Bernie substituted.

“All ready?” Andrew was all business as he cleaned the crook of her elbow with an alcohol-soaked cotton swab. He gave her the injection.

Bernie waited a moment and then feigned being seized by some realignment in her brain.

Bernie closed her eyes. Her anxiety level climbed higher and higher, but she dug in. She had broken through it before. Judy wasn’t there to help her this time. If that was what she could call what Judy did the first time.

Bernie was vibrating like a tuning fork as her anxiety coursed through her. In spite of it, she opened her eyes and looked seductively at Andrew. Bernie drew in a deep breath and arched her back. Her eyes glowed with passion as she kept them locked on Andrew’s.

He kept looking down at his notes. Just scribbling away. Bernie slithered across the couch and snuggled herself against Andrew’s chest. Her mountain of red curls came to rest right under his nose. He fought the urge to sneeze as he held the clipboard in one hand and the pen in the other. He reached around Bernie so he could continue to write.

Bernie’s eyes began to smolder with a different kind of passion. She had the overwhelming urge to punch him squarely in the chest for being able to ignore her. Instead, Bernie began to unbutton Andrew’s neatly pressed light blue Oxford shirt.

Bernie slipped her hand inside his shirt and slowly, rhythmically massaged his lean muscular chest. Bernie put her exquisite pouty lips against his ear and breather softly. The warm moist breath steamed up the inside of Andrew’s ear. Goosebumps began to rise on his skin between breaths.