Good Greek Girls Don't (7 page)

Please, God, just let him be one of the late arrivals I swear I will behave myself as long as he isn't the first to arrive.

‘Despina, how you my girl?' Thank you, God, it's Katerina's mum. I guess I'd better stick to my word and behave. I don't want to be struck by lightning or have my karma come back and bite me on the bum.

‘I'm well, Thia. How are you?' Kiss, kiss. Katerina's mum thinks I'm absolutely perfect, a living doll for all the help that I have given her daughter today. But like everyone else, she too wonders why I am still single. I've given up trying to explain to her that I choose to be single.

An hour later things are going well. The crowd is slowly starting to arrive, but no sign of the infamous Chris. Maybe he's come down with some twenty-four hour bug. That would serve Katerina right – all of her planning and scheming down the drain. Her parents are here, so are the in-laws, the brothers, sisters, partners and children. The backyard looks like a day care centre with all the kids running around the barbecue and Katerina's husband, George, and his brother Manoli desperately trying to keep them all from harms way while cooking the meat and sucking back their Carlton Coldies. All in all, a pretty average night. And no sign of Chris. Maybe he got wise to Katerina's game and bailed on her. That would serve her right. Yippee. I'm so happy, I'm practically skipping to the door because the doorbell rang a minute ago and everyone has their hands full with kids and dirty nappies that they can't get to it.

And now I'm standing here staring at him. Brain, please don't fail me now. I need something smart, something witty, something ‘me'.

‘Hi, come on in.' What the hell was that? Real witty, Desi.

‘Hi.' The poor guy barely knows where to look. I don't know why, I'm not showing that much cleavage am I? Quick glance confirms just a subtle hint of cleavage –can't help it that I have ample.

‘Desi right?' He knows my name. Now that means one of two things. Either he has a really good memory from the baptism or Katerina has been flapping her gums. Probably the latter.

‘Yeah, that's right. You're um … ' Good line, always works. ‘Sorry, I'm really bad with names.' As if. Anyone who knows me knows that I can still remember the names of my kindergarten classmates. Coy giggle on queue.

‘Chris.' Like I had forgotten.

‘Come through, Chris.' Poor bastard is so loaded down with cakes and plates that his mother must have sent that he can barely juggle them. I can't let him fall flat on his face with them, can I? Can I? How I wish my conscience would take a flying leap. I grab one parcel. ‘Let me help you, Chris.'

I can see Katerina grinning as we walk towards the kitchen. How I hate her right now. She looks so smug.

I'll show her. I have to.

‘Thanks, Desi.' Chris looks relieved as we walk through the kitchen and dump the parcels. He does the rounds of the women and heads out the back to do some male bonding, and I head straight for Katerina to do some female bonding, that could easily lead to female bashing – metaphorically speaking of course.

‘Kati.' I corner her. ‘What have you been telling him about me?

‘Nothing, Des. Why?' She actually looks sincere. She's getting better at this manipulation thing. Damn, I think I have taught her too well. It's going to be a long night.

Quick check of pockets. Smokes in one, mobile phone in the other. I sneak out to the side of the house, hoping for some peace and quiet to recap on the first part of tonight. It's already after ten but this shindig is showing no signs of winding up any time soon.

I slide down the side of the house and park my butt on the cool concrete. The first puff is the deepest and I enjoy it. First smoke in over three hours. The night has been okay so far. Luckily, Katerina hasn't done anything obvious, like push me into Chris's lap. He and I were sitting opposite each other at the dinner table, which meant that I could barely manage to eat more than two bites while he happily shovelled away the food, complimenting Katerina on her culinary delights.

‘Hey, Katerina, this rice is superb.' Her rice? Ha!

‘Thanks. Desi made that.' At least she paid credit where credit was due, albeit for her own selfish reasons.

‘Mmm, Des, this is delicious.' And what sort of smart witty reply did I come back with?

‘Thanks, it's nothing special.' Oh, yeah, my brain has definitely taken a leave of absence tonight.

Throughout dinner he kept trying to engage me in conversation. Why? Why didn't he just talk soccer or politics or footy or something with the other guys? Why was he paying me so much attention? And why wasn't he put off by my monosyllabic answers? He even kept refilling my glass. Thank God I'm on soft drink tonight otherwise at the rate that he was going I'd be plastered by now.

I don't understand why I'm letting this whole thing get to me. This is ridiculous. The guy means nothing to me.

I'm happy sitting here, away from everyone. The concrete and brick feels so cool against my skin. Katerina will probably send a search party if I don't go back inside soon. Let her. Let her think that I snuck away and abandoned her, left her to the mercy of her family. Actually, the panic that'll cause may well bring about premature labour.

‘Hi.' Who? What? Shit. Dropped the bloody smoke on my jeans. I flick it away before I look up – I'll kill whoever just scared the willy's out of me if I've burnt my jeans. Oh, Jesus, it's him. I can't believe Katerina sent Chris to look for me. That's just bad form. What on earth is he doing? He's sliding down beside me. Why? Compose yourself, Desi. Cool, calm, collected. Hmmm, I wonder what aftershave he's wearing? Smells delicious. I think it might be Calvin Klein. Love Calvin Klein. What the hell am I thinking?

‘Nice night, huh?' Just what I need, he's doing the small talk thing again. I am going to kill Katerina. She is going to drive me to psychiatric care one day very soon.

‘Yeah, I guess.' I light up another cigarette to replace the one he made me lose. I inhale very deeply.

‘Smoking will stunt your growth.' Okay, now he's trying to be funny. I know that aftershave from somewhere. God it smells yummy.

‘Given that I'm five foot ten, I don't think I need to worry about that.' Good response. Mentally pat myself on the back for that one.

‘Good grief.' What is he good griefing about? ‘You can actually put more than two words together.'

If looks could kill, this guy would be going through a meat grinder right about now.

‘I was beginning to wonder.' He laughs lightly as he teases me.

Despite my annoyance at myself and at him, I suddenly find I have this unbelievable urge to run my hand along the stubble that has appeared on his face. Slap slap slap. I mentally slap myself really hard and tell my stomach to stop doing backflips.

‘Haven't been in a chatty sort of mood tonight.' That's as close to an explanation as he's going to get from me. He should be apologising to me for almost making me burn a new pair of jeans.

‘With me, right?' Smart boy. So he has picked up on my attitude. I actually thought that I was being subtle. I guess I kind of forgot my earlier oath to behave myself and this is now God's idea of payback.

‘Look I'm sorry, Chris, if I've come across as rude. It's just me.' I can't believe I just apologised. I can't believe how cute he looks sitting here in the dark. Now if this was a bar and he wasn't Katerina's
koumbaro
, I would definitely be putting on the charm. What the hell am I thinking?

‘Well, that's a relief. I thought maybe I smelled or something.' He does smell, but it's a nice smell.

He's grabbing my smokes. ‘Mind if I have one?' Why is he even asking? He'd already lit it up before the question came out. Presumptuous prick.

‘It'll stunt your growth.'

God he has a sexy laugh. Okay, call in the men in white coats – I think I'm losing my mind. I have definitely taken leave of my senses.

‘You know what, Desi?'

At this very moment I know very little. In fact I feel like I know nothing. I'll just let him continue and enlighten me with what I should know.

‘I'm actually very glad that you're here tonight.'

‘Why?' I don't know what else to say to his comment.

‘Well, everyone here is either married or getting married or is under the age of ten. Nice to know I'm not alone in the single world.'

How does he know I'm single? For all he knows I could have a fiancé or husband and half a dozen kids packed away somewhere.

‘How can you be sure that I don't have one of those domestic lives hidden away somewhere?' What a stupid question. Katerina would have answered that question when she planned this night. She would have left no room for doubt about the status of my love life, or lack thereof.

‘I asked Katerina.'

Confirmation that there have been discussions going on about me. I feel like a lamb headed off to the slaughter. Now I know how those poor lambs feel at Easter. They're taken somewhere peaceful, fed up and fattened up, lulled into a false sense of security, and then out comes the butcher with the axe. I was lulled into that false sense of security by being allowed to sneak away for a few minutes' peace, and bam, there comes Chris with his own kind of axe to chop me up and place me on a roasting spit.

‘Excuse me? Did Katerina send you out here to find me as well?' I'm angry now. But I don't really know why, which is making me even angrier. Am I angry at Katerina for orchestrating this whole thing or angry at myself for falling into her trap?

‘Des, you sure are paranoid.'

He's mocking me. He finds this amusing.

‘I came looking for you because I wanted to.'

Oh my God, stomach please settle down, please, pretty please stop fluttering like the butterfly display at the zoo. I can stay calm, take a drag of my cigarette, and appear cool. The plan backfires as I choke on the smoke.

‘Why?' I can only croak recovering from the choking. ‘Why did you want to find me?'

‘Because I've been hassling Katerina about you ever since Stella's christening.'

Everything is starting to make sense now. He hassles Katerina, Katerina hassles me and suckers me into tonight. And I show up looking like a dag with my hair in a ponytail to teach Katerina a lesson. Although I wish someone would remind me just what lesson I was supposed to be teaching her.

‘What do you mean? What has Katerina told you about me?' I have to know, but I don't know if he is going to be straight with me. I shudder to imagine what bull she has spun about me.

I can't believe that Chris is laughing. He finds this whole thing amusing. It makes me feel so uncomfortable that I keep looking at the floor and he's laughing his head off. That does it.

‘What the fuck is so funny, arsehole?' I explode, and he's practically rolling around on the ground in hysterics –at my expense. I am definitely not impressed. I just wishhe didn't look so damn sexy when he laughed because it is really hard to stay angry with a sexy man.

‘You and Katerina corner me here tonight and you think it's hysterical. That's it, I've had enough.' I'm standing, I'm out of here. I can walk out of here with my dignity.

‘Desi, wait, don't go.'

Why should I stay? Why should I listen to anything that this prick has to say? Why am I not moving?