Goose Chase (8 page)

The saddlebags I modified so that they could be slung round the shoulders of a human, rather than attached to the rear of a saddle, for we would be our own steeds on this journey.

Lamentably, the saddlebags did not contain that which I most coveted: a knife. How I did long for a sweet little blade, bright as the sun and as sharp as pain! Mayhap the Prince's was lost in the struggle (I looked most carefully round and about on the ground), or mayhap Lucinda had simply taken charge of it and any sword there might have been, as she did all cutting tools. I could not believe that even the Prince would have set forth into the wilderness armed only with his wits, such as they were.

I had found the twelfth white feather under the usual pebble in the usual place, next to the egg, and that had given me hope that I would catch sight of my birds as I made my preparations. All that day I had been scanning the sky and the underbrush, calling out their names one by one, my hopes slowly dwindling as the hours went by. My trip to the top of the hill had been a last, forlorn attempt to call them to me before returning to the cottage. Later it would be too late. 'Twas risky even now; the Ogresses would be stirring soon and preparing to go out for the night. His Highness and I would leave under cover of darkness while
my Geese slept, and the need for secrecy and silence would seal our lips.

The fire glowed red in the dimly lit cottage as I let myself in through the tumbledown door. Nothing moved, not even the Prince. Anxiously I studied his form for a sign that he still lived, that the Ogresses had not slain him in my absence. Yes, his breast moved gently; he merely slept. That was as it should be. He would need the rest if he was to attempt a long journey tonight. I only wished I could have done the same.

Briskly I began preparing the usual cattail roots, along with a hot nettle drink. Once the cattails were well boiled and mashed, I approached the Prince, thinking to stir him up for his evening meal. I had intended to touch him lightly on the shoulder to rouse him; 'twould be a dreadful enough awakening without my adding to the horror. But my eye caught the gleam of firelight reflecting off a slitted eyeball over in a dark corner. 'Twas one of Tessa's heads watching me while the other slept. She was as suspicious as ever and waiting for me to show the slightest weakness.

I drew back my foot and kicked the Prince in the stomach, hard enough to make an audible thump. He groaned and jerked in pain.

"Your dinner, my lord," I said demurely. I pushed him into a sitting position and prepared to feed him.

"What have I ever done to you, Goose Girl," demanded the Prince between gritted teeth, "that you should serve me in this manner?"

This question was too much for me to resist. I bent forward and breathed in his ear. "Only locked me up in a tower for six months, that is all, my lord."

"But—" He began on a high note of outrage, then was silenced when I inserted the dipper of cattail mush into his mouth.

In a louder voice I said, "I am hungry, and weary of boiled roots, sire."

"You are a perfectly dreadful young woman," he observed bleakly.

I shrugged and pushed the ladle back into his mouth. My point had been made and I saw no need for further playacting.

"Enough!" Tessa rose from her dark corner, and her sisters stirred. "Don't give it all to him. I do be hungry."

"Aye. I be hungersome too," said Nellie, yawning and stretching.

"I be absolutely
famished
," said Lucinda, propping herself up on one elbow and staring ravenously at the Prince. "I be so hungry I could eat—"

"A horse!" I concluded cheerfully, holding out sticks with steaming lumps of boiled and grilled leather from the horse's bridle and reins impaled upon them. "And so you shall!"

"O pshaw!" muttered Lucinda, but she took her skewer of meat and began slowly munching on it. The others followed suit and I began to bustle about, tidying.

"And so, my dear mistresses," I said casually as I swept the hearth, "what are your plans for tonight? Do you think of trying the next village down the valley? Twould be a blessing to find a new source of meat. This one," I poked at the Prince with the broom handle, "will not last forever, you know."

"That be a real good idea," said Tessa unexpectedly. "Why don't we do that, girls?"

"But, Tessa, I don't want to go so far," objected Lucinda. "My bones ache so tonight that I can scarce stand upright."

"Let's have a dig in the graveyard, I say," said Nellie. "There might be somethin' there we missed and we wouldn't have to walk so far."

"Shut up yer traps," snarled Tessa. "I said we're agoin' down the valley and so we're agoin' down the valley."

After much grumbling and complaining it was agreed that the trio would go down the valley in search of the next unsuspecting village they might feed from. Inwardly I rejoiced; aught that took them far away was to our advantage. All appeared to be shaping well for my plans.

And yet...'twas so little like Tessa to approve of a suggestion of mine. I had hoped to win Lucinda and Nellie to the idea of new worlds to conquer; never had I expected to find Tessa on my side. My heart thumped in my chest as I waved farewell in the doorway, watching the three sisters lumbering away into the woods.

Once out of sight, I whirled about, my eyes scanning the cottage for anything that might sever my hair.

'A knife, a knife, I would give all the wealth of the Indies for a knife!" I muttered as I rummaged among the skulls and tibias that littered the corners. 'An ax! A hatchet, a scythe, a rusty old hoe! Is there naught here that will serve my will?"

The Prince drew back, aghast. "You ... you would not murder me, Goose Girl?"

I glanced malignantly at him, remembering how he had deprived me of my sewing scissors through his o'erweening stupidity. But yet I must reassure him and gain his trust ere we fled through the forest.

Shaking my head, I said, "Nay, I'll do no harm to you, Prince. Indeed, I shall do what I can to save your valuable neck, if only you will most faithfully promise to obey me in all things." I fixed him with a fierce stare, which mayhap did little to embolden him. "Will you?"

"I—I," he hesitated. "Do you mean in
all
things?"

"Tis what I said, is it not?"

"O, but—"

"You do not trust me. I do not blame you. But what chances, my lord, do you think you have if I go away and leave you alone here tonight?"

"We-ll—" He eyed me dubiously.

"Promise, or I shall go this moment." 'Twas of course all bluff on my part, as I had not yet the means to cut my hair.

"Yes, but wait," he begged. "For how long must I obey you in all things?"

I debated. Twas a fair question. "Until we reach home
and safety, or until I release you, whichever comes first," I replied at length.

He nodded slowly. "Very well."

'And when we do reach our home, you must promise me that you will never press me by force of arms, or by any other means, to marry you, and that you will defend to the death my right to remain single so long as I wish."

"O, in certes I will," he said, with some emphasis. "I shouldn't think of pressing you to marry me again. 'Tis for the best, no doubt, that you remain unwed. Marriage, I am told, is ever an uncertain estate and some are not best suited to it by temperament or training." He flinched as I smashed a human skull on the cauldron and then tried sawing at my hair with the resultant sharp edge. "You, mayhap, are one of these, Goose Girl. In point of fact," he went on, "I doubt I shall ever marry, myself. My judgment is not what it should be. I do not know when I have ever been so mistaken in anyone before. You seemed quite a
nice
maid if somewhat—"

"O do hush!" I said, abandoning the smashed skull. "Let me untie you. We must away as soon as possible and you will be ill prepared for walking until you have shaken up your limbs awhile."

I did so and then returned to my primary task: finding a way to free my hair. Could I, I wondered, pluck out each hair from my head until I was as bald as an egg? 'Twould take eons to do, I feared.

"Goose Girl," said the Prince, who had been wandering aimlessly about, easing his cramped limbs, "did you know
that your hair goes all the way over here to this iron ring on the doorpost?"

I ignored him. Could I
burn
it off?

"I
said,
Goose Girl, did you know that—"

"Yes! Yes, Your Highness, I did know that my hair goes all the way over there to the iron ring on the doorpost! How, in the name of all that is reasonable, could I
not
know such a thing?"

"Well, you need not be so vexed at my asking," said the Prince, offended. "I merely thought 'twas a remarkable fact, and so I remarked upon it. You cannot blame me for that, can you?"

I crossed my eyes at him and stuck out my tongue. He quailed before me and then rallied.

"You may make what fearsome faces at me that you please, Goose Girl, and I may not resent them, for I have promised my obedience to your will. But tell me, pray, how are we to leave this place if you are tied by the hair?"

"A most excellent question, Your Highness," I said through gritted teeth. "I confess I do not know. Have you any suggestions, perchance?"

The Prince appeared pleased at having his opinion sought.

"I should think that some cutting tool, such as a knife or a scissors..." He broke off, looking somewhat embarrassed. "I do not believe that I have any suggestions at this moment in time. However, allow me to consider the matter and I will do my best to produce some."

"I thank you, sire." Then, knowing 'twas futile, I asked, "What happened to your own blades? Have you anything about you?"

He shook his head mournfully. "My sword was taken by the two-headed lady, and my knife by the one with the arms. I regret to say that I am without a blade of any sort."

We both sat in silence for a few moments.

"How did your hair come to be so bound?" he asked at last.

A surge of irritation washed over me. Could the fool not be still and let me think? I was about to say so when it occurred to me that my mind was as barren as a barley field in winter. I had no ideas whatsoever. Why should I not tell him what he asked? 'Twould pass the time until my approaching death as well as aught else.

I told him. He wanted all the details, which I gave in a resigned tone of voice. When I had done, we sat again in silence for some time, I trying to bestir myself to tell him to flee for his life and leave me to my fate.

"Why," he said finally, "could you not do the same, Goose Girl?"

"What do you mean?" I asked drearily, wondering exactly how the Ogresses would choose to kill me.

"Could you not ask the hair to let go? Politely, of course. You would have to be polite. But could you not ask?"

I
T HURTETH NOT THE TONGUE
TO GIVE FAIR WORDS.

—J
OHN
H
EYWOOD,
P
ROVERBS

"O beauteous hair, most daintevous rare..."

I swallowed. 'Twas bitter gall and wormwood to be forced to flatter my own treasonous hair. I nearly asked the Prince to do it, but in the unlikely event that his idea had any effect, I could not bear to allow his lordship to gain mastery over my hair when I had it not. I would most humbly petition my hair though it choked me.

I could not remember exactly what Lucinda had said, but it had not seemed to be a set rhyme. I began again, making up my own words.

"Never was there
Beauty so rare,
As my hair!"

"Do you know," I interrupted myself, "I shall feel a perfect fool if this does not work."

"Go on, go on," said the Prince. I made a grimace of distaste, but reluctantly continued:

"Angels in air
Have locks less fair,
Than my hair!"

"Twas most excellent well said, that bit," the Prince whispered. "Now apologize."

"For what?" I demanded, outraged.

"Hush!" He flapped his arms at me. "Do not undo the good you have done. Did you not tell me that you spoke harshly to your tresses?"

'"Twas entirely justified."

"Grovel, Goose Girl, if you wish to be free."

"O very well," I said. Was it my imagination, or was the Prince enjoying this?

"Grieved I should be [I snarled]
Did I hurt thee,
O my hair!"

"Now get down on your knees," suggested the Prince.

I ignored him. I would make my request and have an end, for good or ill.

"Let me go free,
I do beg thee,
Good, kind hair!"

I could not resist pointing out an obvious fact in my last stanza:

"Please hear my prayer;
One fate we share,
O
wise
hair!"

Reflect upon
that
awhile, O my hair!

Nary a thing happened. I stood there gawking at the loop of hair like a loblolly on a lamppost for what seemed a lifetime. Then I sank, groaning, to the ground.

"Woe is me," I mourned. I dropped my head into my hands. "O woe is me, for I fear that I must die."

A soft swishing sound and a gentle brush 'gainst my cheeks and arms could not rouse me from my grief. I huddled miserably against the door frame, waiting for eternity.

After some time, I heard the Prince clear his throat. I must order him to leave me, for the night was wearing on.

"I do beg your pardon, Goose Girl. It pains me to interrupt your reverie, but ought we not to be going? You might not have noticed, but the night is wearing on."

"You go, sire," I said without opening my eyes. "There is no reason for you to perish too. You are unfettered; go." A large diamond rolled down my cheek and into my lap.

"But Goose Girl," he protested. "I know that I did most faithfully promise to do all you command; however, I must say that under the circumstances I really do not see—"

"O, wilt thou go!" I scrambled to my feet and shook my
fist under his nose. "Thou gomeril! Thou goop!" He stepped back several paces. "Thou art like to drive me mad! Go! Go! Go!" I gave him a hearty shove with my hands.