Grasping For Freedom (21 page)

Read Grasping For Freedom Online

Authors: Debra Kayn

Tags: #MC alpha bikers, #dominating hero, #Motorcycle Club romance, #Biker Romance book, #motorcycle club sex, #Possessive Hero, #sons of anarchy, #bad boy hero, #controlling hero, #outlaw motorcycle club

Old ladies. She bit down on the side of her cheek. Was she still his woman?

After walking away from him when he needed her last night to deal with her dad, she couldn't blame him if he hated her. "Okay, thanks. You better get to work, and I need to check in with Bruce."

For the next four hours, she kept herself busy to keep her mind off Torque, her dad with Rain smoking pot in her cabin, and concentrated on getting through the evening until lunchtime. The minute it turned eight o'clock, she skipped eating, ran out the back door to jump in her car to go to Torque's house, and came to a complete stop.

She peered around the lot. The spot where she'd last parked her car was empty.

Chapter Twenty Three

A
t almost midnight, Torque rolled into the parking lot of Cactus Cove. It'd taken him longer than he thought to finish today, and he knew by the many phone calls he made to Bruce that Brandy's patience had left after her mid-shift lunch break.

Torque parked his Harley and peeled off his shirt. The constant ache in his shoulder turned into sharp throbbing as the dried material broke away from his wound. He rotated his arm and looked over the slice the bullet made, which still oozed. The bullet gouged a nice sized indent into his muscle, and he hoped the antibiotics Ginger brought him this morning did the trick.

His leg was fine, more like road rash than anything, though the meaty part of his calf consisted of a bruise the color of his motorcycle. He should've taken a day off and recuperated, but he had no extra time to waste. Brandy was not going to push him away a minute longer.

He removed a clean T-shirt from his bag on the side of his bike and stuffed the dirty one away. After he redressed, he walked into the bar. He took a second to locate his woman, and when he found her over by the pool table, arms crossed, nodding as if she was listening to Pauline, he tensed. He knew the raised brows, the vacate stare, the plastered half smile she gave Orca's woman. Brandy was deep in her head, and that was the last place he wanted her to be.

When he'd had her alone, she was always right there with him, promising forever on the back of his bike. Until her dad came, and he'd seen Brandy revert to the woman who got in his face the first time he met her. The light went out of her eyes, and the happy out of her world.

Yet, he couldn't help admiring her for the love she had for her dad, and not letting the hurt of her childhood bring her down. She pulled on her thigh-high boots and kicked ass. His chest warmed. Hell, she'd kicked his ass and he fell like a rock for her.

How he'd come to the place in his life where he needed someone else more than he needed his freedom was beyond understanding. He loved her, and the kind of love he had for her went deeper than the blood flowing in his veins. She was life.

She gave him beauty where before he had darkness. He'd never heard a softer sound than her whispering to him right before she fell asleep or felt the touch of a woman who was content to hug him. She gave until she exhausted herself, and he wanted to give her everything until she lit up his world with sunshine.

He rubbed his hand over his jaw, because he looked like a damn fool thinking words he'd never spoken to anyone before in his life. He stepped toward her and her eyes swept across the room and landed on him. Her chest rose with her gasp and her eyes shone bright. He quickened his steps, and if he hadn't been watching, he would've missed that first honest reaction when he caught her unaware. All wasn't lost.

By the time he reached her, she hid everything from her. Though the rigidness of her body was a sure sign that she wasn't happy.

She lifted her chin. "Where's my car?"

He bent his head and said in her ear. "I got rid of it."

"Why?" She pursed her lips, and damn if he didn't want to kiss them until they were soft and greedy for more.

"It's a Los Li car, and I won't have it on Bantorus land," he said.

She studied his eyes, and her body softened. Then she looked at his shoulders and down at his jeans. "You're okay?"

He sucked in a breath. "I'm fine."

Her gaze settled back on his eyes and her spine stiffened again. "How will I get back to Cali if you sold my car?"

He glanced over to the others watching them, and said, "Come with me."

"I'm still working," she said, not giving him an inch.

"Not for long." He lifted his chin, sought out Bruce, motioned with his head toward the door, and got a nod back in answer. "Your shifts over, and I have something to show you."

"It better be a new car, because I don't have the money to buy another one," she said.

He took her hand and led her across the room, thankful she followed him because if she hadn't he would've picked her up and packed her over his shoulder, and bled all over the fucking floor. Outside, he went straight to his motorcycle and handed her a helmet.

"Hop on," he said.

"I can't." She stood in the parking lot and glanced in the direction of the cabin. "Rain's been with my dad all night and when I left them to go back to work after lunch, my dad was flying high on pot and I think Rain was enjoying watching my dad get stoned. My dad was actually...I hate to say it...but I think he was okay with staying in the cabin."

"I heard." He took the helmet from her and put it on her head. "We'll only be gone an hour tops. Give me your time."

She stepped toward his Harley and hesitated. "Where are you taking me?"

She wasn't going to make this easy, and he loved that about her. He kissed her hard, pulled back, and smiled. "Home, sunshine."

On the ride to his house, he took his time. Selfish and feeling better than he had all day, he wanted to slow down and enjoy having her pressed against his body. For once, he had something bigger planned than nailing her until they were both exhausted.

Besides, she was worn down and defensive, trying to keep a hold on everything she held dear to her. Everyone expected her to jump...him, her dad, Rain. She needed time to shelf her responsibilities for once and take the time for herself that she deserved.

He had plans for her that'd make sure she never had to take on too much again.

He wanted to put his mark on her, give his life and live the remaining days doing the things he'd never given himself time to dream about, and he wanted to do all those things with her. Brandy brought that out of him.

Before her, he might've been out of prison, but he'd created his own walls to protect himself from allowing other to hurt him. Not any longer, because everything would change today.

The porch light lit up the driveway. He pulled clear up to the garage door and parked the Harley. Brandy climbed off the bike first, and he followed. She stood beside him and took off her helmet, setting it on the bike. He let her have time to notice the changes.

The manicured lawn Jedman spent the day cutting, the flowers Tori and Crystal planted early this morning in the new flowerbed that he couldn't give a shit about, but the Bantorus women swore Brandy would love. He stood back and let her walk out into the grass a few feet. Her head tilted one way before going the other, and she had yet to say a word.

Her hair blew in the cool night air. He had a hard time believing she was here. He hooked his hands in his pockets and breathed in. She belonged here more than he did because without her, he'd never be happy.

Brandy walked the sidewalk to the front door and peered up at the chrome glass fixture surrounding six bulbs, shielding her eyes against the brightness. He joined her and opened the new screen door. She walked past him, looking at him with questions in her eyes, but had yet to voice what she was thinking. He had no idea what was going through her head.

He flipped the light switch on inside the house and entered the living room. The Bantorus women had tried to talk him into decorating the inside as well as the outside, but he wanted Brandy to pick out colors, pillows, and all those things women like to do herself.

Slipping his hand into hers, he walked her down the hallway, past his bedroom, and opened the spare room. He'd left the light on, and the new bed with the black and red comforter and six-drawer dresser almost appeared too big for the room. It wasn't much, but there was a private entrance with the sliding door on the back wall.

Brandy stepped inside and ran her fingers over the poster of Muhammad Ali holding the championship belt. She sniffed, and he leaned against the wall and put his hands in his pockets. He wanted to say so many things, but he'd never give his feelings for her justice.

She set the boxing gloves hanging on the bedpost to swinging, and laughed softly. "You know, he'll use these against you. He'll pick an argument, cuff you on the shoulder, and he'll have you out in the yard and using them on you before I can stop him."

"Maybe he can teach me a thing or two," he said.

She glanced at him and continued studying the room. "Rain told me he offered dad a job managing the bar this afternoon. Dad seemed happy about the offer. Though, I wonder...if the joint he was smoking had anything to do with his compliance."

He nodded, even though her back was to him. Rain letting Torque take responsibility for Haas cost him the price of sitting out on three runs, and clean up if Brandy's dad started a fight in the bar.

"It was you who did that for me," she stated, turning around, not even questioning his motives.

He shrugged. "Man needs a purpose. He needs to see his daughter content. I want to be the man who gives his daughter her happy back."

"Torque, I—"

"I'm not finished talking." He pushed off the wall, feeling old and beat, and approached her. "You and me have seen hell and survived. Never thought I'd reach out for someone offering me the sweetness in life, but here I am. I'm not going to let you walk away from me. You've made it possible to recognize what I've never given myself a chance at dreaming about, and I'm selfish, stubborn—"

"An asshole," she whispered in that soft voice that grabbed him by the throat and refused to let go.

He cupped her face, swiping the tear that escaped with his thumb. "Yeah, an asshole that won't let the best thing he's ever had slip away to California."

"Babe," she whispered, her voice cracking.

"Not letting go of you, sunshine. I will fucking flip your life around and give you everything you need and want. Your dad can live with us, right here in this room. He can work at the bar alongside you, and you'll have the security of doing what you love while knowing your dad is okay. Then at night, you're in my bed or on my couch or sitting out on my porch with me, giving me sunshine in a dark life. In the morning, I want to start my day between your legs with your arms around me, feeling your happy. If making you happy means staying up all night listening to you talk, I will. I'll let you make me respectable in the neighborhood, if that's your thing. But, I want you for the rest of my life."

"Why?" she mouthed.

He laid his forehead on hers. "Because I love you, sunshine."

"You do?" She laid her hands on his chest.

He nodded. "Claimed you, put you on the back of my Harley, didn't I? There was never a possibility that I'd let you go."

"I've been so wrong, worrying about my dad. I should've gone with you last night. I couldn't see what I was doing to you or me. I'm even holding my dad back from being content, because I'm scared of losing another person in my life. Until last night when you weren't with me, I thought I knew what I was doing, but I found out what I really need. You." She kissed his lips, his cheeks, his neck, and in between kisses she said, "I love you. And, that love no longer scares me, because you more than fill my life, you
are
life, babe."

That was all he needed to hear in that impossible sexy voice of hers. He lowered his head, took her mouth, and kissed her with the promise never to take that love for granted.

She brought her hands up to his neck and kissed him back, opening herself so that he could fill her and give her everything she needed. He didn't disappoint.

He delved his tongue into her mouth, connecting with her soul. On stroke, taste, and he went back for more. The pleasurable dance healed his tired body. Hard and possessive of his women, he pulled back an inch. "You're gonna have to help me, sunshine."

"How?" She peered up at him with arousal shining brightly in her eyes.

"I need you, and I don't think I can throw you on the bed tonight. So you're going to have to take my hand and let me walk you there," he said.

"I can do better than that, babe." She caught her lip between her teeth, shifted to his side, and put her arm around him.

One aching step at a time, he made it across the hallway and to their bed. He managed to strip out of his clothes while keeping his gaze on her, loving the way she hurried and stood before him without any misgivings.

She reached for him, but pulled her hands back before they could touch his upper body. "God, babe...your shoulder."

Angry red and sore, his shoulder would heal in time. He walked her backward, laid her on the bed, and stood there admiring his woman. "It's fine. I'm fine."

The way her hips flared beneath a slim waist, the high breasts— more than she needed, were perfect for him and drove him crazy. He opened the condom he'd taken out of his wallet, and rolled it on his hardness. Unashamed, she spread her legs. He was a damn lucky man.

He went down on one arm. Brandy sprawled her hands on his abdomen, and guided him onto his back. He let out his breath in relief. Brandy straddled his legs and smiled down on him. He slid his hand between their bodies, and found her wet and ready.

"Mouth on me," he said.

She lowered her head and kissed him. His balls tightened at the way the weight of her breasts brushed his chest, her hips moving on his hand, and her tongue dancing with his. In this position, he connected with her fully.

Legs to legs. Chest to chest. Mouth to mouth. Linked together.

Brandy's body undulated atop him. Her sex ground down on his hand. She lifted her head, and there it was. That look, that softness, that whisper on his skin, settled him. Yet, behind the look, there was the openness he'd needed, and she gave him freely. He could see what she was thinking.

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