Grayson Brothers Series Boxed Set (4 books in 1) (11 page)

* * *

Though the alcohol had affected his speech and balance, Radford’s mind had cleared enough that he knew what he was doing. He was ending his attraction to Evelyn once and for all by proving to himself that kissing her was no more thrilling or special than kissing any other woman.

But to his shock, the kiss fanned his craving to a blaze of hot need that he couldn’t restrain. Whether it was the alcohol or his intense reaction to Evelyn, he felt himself spiraling out of control. He shuddered when he slipped his hand beneath her nightrail and felt the satiny skin of her thigh. Her moan inflamed him as she lay across his heated body, and her skin was so warm and smooth that he craved the feel of her unencumbered by clothes. The thought of her against him, beneath him, made his blood rush. Just one more touch. He would send her away then.

He reached for the shoulder of her gown, but Evelyn’s fingers curled over his. Radford hesitated, thinking she was stopping him, but she tugged the fabric off her shoulder. The sound of buttons hitting the floor was like getting a glass of cold water tossed in his face. Radford tried to pull back, to stop himself from going any further, but Evelyn’s exposed breasts fed his need. Perfect, pink-nippled breasts mesmerized him, drew him, compelled him to lower his mouth even when his conscience was begging him not to.

* * *

The feeling of Radford’s palm between her thighs jolted Evelyn back to reality. She grabbed his hand and broke their kiss, but his passion-glazed eyes told her she’d encouraged him too far. “We can’t do this, Radford. It’s wrong. What we’re doing is wrong,” she said, fearing she wouldn’t get through to his alcohol-muddled brain.

He hovered above her, breathing raggedly, his gaze fierce, before he finally closed his eyes and leaned his head back against the chair.

She straightened her gown and cursed herself. She must be insane! How could she have done this, especially with Radford, a man who carried a full-blown war inside him, who would probably never feel settled, who was the brother of the man she’d promised to marry.

Drowning in shame, Evelyn pushed herself to a sitting position, her palm resting on Radford’s chest for support. Though his heart pounded, the steady rise and fall beneath her hand told her he’d passed out. She felt more awake than she’d ever been in her life.

“Radford?” she called quietly. He didn’t respond. She lifted her gaze to his handsome, sleeping face, knowing she’d taken advantage of his condition to appease her curiosity. “I’m sorry,” she whispered. “You didn’t deserve this.”

Neither did Kyle. He’d always treated her with respect and was the only person she’d ever been able to depend on. How could she have been such a slave to her curiosity that she would betray her lifelong friend?

She slipped from Radford’s arms, anxious to run from the truth of what she’d done. Her hair caught and she turned to tug it free. The sight of Radford’s fist closed around a mass of her black curls sent a rush of sympathy straight to her heart.

She knelt before him and unwound her hair then brushed her lips across his knuckles. “I should never have kissed you,” she whispered with deep remorse. Because now she knew there was an ocean of difference between kissing Kyle and kissing Radford.

The instant Radford saw daylight, he slammed his eyes shut and pressed his fists to his temples. Slowly, he sat forward, shaking, sweating, reeling; pierced by the hurtful morning light, the crashing headache, the rebelling stomach.

Fragments of the past evening flashed through his mind. He saw the bottom of a glass, over and over, his brothers laughing and ordering drinks, heard a woman’s voice pleading... Then he remembered.

He’d betrayed Kyle.

Convulsed with nausea, Radford hunched over, elbows to knees, face in hands, peering blearily through his splayed fingers as he fought back the urge to vomit. A small, pearlescent type object glowed up at him from beside the chair leg, but he was forced to wait until his stomach settled before reaching down to pick it up. It was a button from Evelyn’s gown.

He’d only wanted to kiss her then put it behind him. Instead he’d nearly made love to her on the porch.

If only he hadn’t started that idiotic playacting. After all the alcohol he’d consumed last night, he’d been in no condition to think rationally. The alcohol had removed the filter between his brain and his mouth and he’d said things to Evelyn that should never have left his lips. Radford pinched the bridge of his nose. He’d talked about her eyes, and said he loved her hair. What a fool. The instant Evelyn stepped onto the porch, he should have gone to the livery instead of acting like an inebriated ass.

He should have never let Kyle talk him into getting corned to his eyebrows.

At least Radford had had the sense to let Evelyn think he’d passed out last night. Though she’d been a willing participant in the beginning, she was mortified by her actions and shocked by his. The only compassionate way he could now handle the incident would be to let Evelyn think he didn’t remember it.

Radford tucked the button into his pocket and scooted to the edge of the chair. With a hard push, he reached a standing position out of dire necessity and sheer determination. Though his legs were uncooperative, they were functional enough to carry him to the outhouse, which seemed an ungodly distance away. A long, long time later, he entered the livery where Evelyn was forking hay to Gus. “If there is a gun out here, please shoot me.”

* * *

Evelyn started at the sound of Radford’s voice, dreading the accusation she knew she’d see in his eyes. When she dared to turn around, Radford gave her a wobbly smile and braced himself against a stall while guarding his stomach with his free hand. 

“I’d wager your brothers are in the same condition,” she commented, not knowing how to begin to apologize for her unforgivable behavior.

Radford sagged against the stall. “I hope so.”

He was so pathetic it deepened her shame. By his condition this morning, Radford had definitely been too inebriated last night to know what he’d been doing. Evelyn was to blame. “I’m sorry about last night,” she said, having no idea how else to begin to apologize, but knowing she must. “I accept the blame for everything.” And she did. Never had she thought to have such an encounter with him. Or any man for that matter. She hadn’t even allowed Kyle such liberties. The fact that Radford had touched her breast and thighs made her blush to her undergarments. At least Radford had the excuse of being intoxicated. She had none, other than her blasted maidenly curiosity.

Radford’s expression changed from pained to confused. “I don’t know what you’re talking about, and frankly, I feel too wretched to care about anything. You could shoot me and I wouldn’t hold it against you.”

He was serious! Evelyn could see it in his eyes. He really didn’t remember. Joy filled her. Radford wouldn’t be plagued with guilt and, well, she would just have to find a way to live with her shame. After all, it would never, ever happen again. If he didn’t remember then she was certainly not going to divulge their sinful interlude and put the weight of guilt on his shoulders.

“I was apologizing for leaving you on the porch all night,” she said, scrambling for any excuse suitable to an apology. “I should have helped you to bed.”

“Well, you might have to help me now.” He leaned his head against a post. “I think I need to sit down.”

Evelyn put the hay fork aside and went to him. When she would have taken his arm, Radford lifted his hand and brushed his knuckles across her cheek. “I was kidding, Evelyn, but thank you just the same. I’ll be back in a few minutes.” He turned and slogged out of the livery, boot heels dragging.

The instant he was gone, Evelyn rushed to Gus and stroked his forelock. Radford had no idea what his casual touches did to her, especially after that amazing kiss. Amidst profuse blushing, a slow smile started in the corners of Evelyn’s mouth and blossomed to fullness. Despite the awful thing she had allowed to happen, she suddenly realized that Radford had done her an enormous favor.

He had taught her how to kiss.

Now that she knew how, she would be able to do it the right way with Kyle and perhaps they would find their missing bond. What a wonderful, uplifting thought! If she could please Kyle, maybe he would become a little less driven and a little more romantic. If they could kiss with that passion, surely they would be intimate enough to share their feelings like they used to do. Then she was certain they would fall in love.

Her burden lifting, Evelyn giggled and kissed the stallion on the nose. He snorted and shifted back in his stall. “You wait, Gus. I’m going to surprise that fiancé of mine, just see if I don’t.”

* * *

Later that morning, Evelyn entered the stuffy church and followed Kyle and Radford down the aisle. They were going to bring Helen home to play with Rebecca after church.   

Everything was quiet except for an occasional cough and the rustle of dresses and books opening as Pastor Ainslie began service. Evelyn sat on the overcrowded bench, her shoulders wedged between Kyle’s and Radford’s. Their lolling legs were hard and warm as they pressed against hers, but Evelyn kept her face averted, unable to look at either man without feeling guilty. Drawing her knees and elbows toward her body, she tried to avoid their touch, but to her dismay, both men adjusted themselves more comfortably against her.

Being enveloped in the warmth of wide, solid shoulders, hard legs, and the scent of aftershave set her pulse racing.

Suddenly, both Radford and Kyle clasped her hands. Evelyn jumped then ducked her head as she struggled to remember the words to the first prayer her mother ever taught her. Kyle’s wide, rough, lumberman’s hand contrasted with Radford’s callused palm and long fingers. Evelyn knew she’d feel those hands linked with hers for the rest of the day, but it was the urge to curl her fingers around Radford’s hand that made her face burn with shame.

The instant the service ended, she rushed from the church and bumped into Amelia Drake.

“Did you find the sermon that bad?” Amelia asked.

Evelyn pressed a hand to her chest and whispered to her friend. “I had to get out of there. I couldn’t breathe.”

Amelia’s eyes twinkled. “Pastor Ainslie does go on, doesn’t he?”

Evelyn laughed and nodded her agreement, keeping one eye on her father while he approached with a limping gait.

He stopped beside them, hooked his arm around Evelyn’s waist, and winked at Amelia. “You two are lovely this morning.”

Knowing she looked frazzled, Evelyn glanced at Amelia’s warm smile and prim but attractive dress, and agreed with her father. Amelia always looked lovely. Suddenly, Evelyn felt as if she had returned to her school days when she used to hide in her baggy dresses like a turtle in its shell, shying away from attention, watching how the boys responded to Amelia’s beauty.

“I didn’t see your pa this morning,” Kyle said to Amelia as he and Radford joined their group. “Is he out of town again?”

“He’s right over there with Mama and Agatha Brown.” Amelia gestured across the yard to where Tom Drake stood talking in the middle of a small cluster of people. “He’d love to see all of you,” she said, issuing a warm invitation for them to join her family.

“Thanks, Amelia, but I have to go to the mill with Duke. Give your pa my regards, though,” Kyle said then turned to Evelyn. “I’ve got to go. I’ll see you at supper.”

Radford caught Evelyn’s eye. “It looks like Tom and Martha are leaving, too. We’d better go get Helen.”

William offered Amelia his arm. “That means I get you all to myself for a few minutes.”

“We’ll try to come rescue you before Papa proposes,” Evelyn said, sharing a smile with Amelia before she turned and crossed the yard with Radford and Rebecca.

* * *

Throughout the morning, Evelyn watched the girls while she cut vegetables for stew. Rebecca studied Helen with a mixture of curiosity and wonder, but she didn’t shy away.

Knowing the girls wouldn’t take time for more than a bite of lunch, Evelyn sliced bread and spread it with jam, but before she could set their plates on the table, Rebecca followed Helen outside. Curious, Evelyn moved to the window and saw them spread Rebecca’s blanket in the backyard. It was obviously Helen’s suggestion by the way Rebecca kept to her small corner, but it gave Evelyn an idea.

She placed their bread and two small glasses of milk on a tray and carried it out to them. “How about a picnic today?” She bent over and set the tray between them.

Evelyn would have left them alone then, but she saw Rebecca move so far back that only her knees remained on the blanket. That small, voiceless gesture changed her mind.

Evelyn knelt on one corner. “Mind if I have a taste?”

Helen picked up a slice of the strawberry-covered bread. She tore a piece and handed it to Evelyn then did the same for Rebecca. Helen gobbled the rest of her bread in one bite, looking like a little frog while she chomped away. When she finished, she stuck sticky fingers in her mouth and sucked them, flopping her head from side to side. Her braids flew wildly around her head and made Rebecca giggle. “It’s good!”

Rebecca smiled then dropped her chin and rounded her shoulders as if to draw away from the attention.

Evelyn reached over with two fingers and tickled Rebecca’s side. “What’s a matter. Don’t you like my jam?”

Rebecca squeaked and squirmed away.

“I do,” Helen piped in with her mouth full.

“I can see that.” Evelyn swiped a blob of jam off Helen’s cheek. “You’re a mess, Missy Fisk.”

The silly name made Rebecca giggle and she clapped her hands over her mouth, completely forgetting the jellied bread she held. The entire hunk stuck to her lips and nose, sending Helen into peals of laughter. After the initial surprise Rebecca began to giggle. Suddenly, it seemed she couldn’t contain the laughter that burbled from her throat. To Evelyn’s surprise, Rebecca mimicked Helen, flopping her head and sending a riot of curls springing wildly around her shoulders.

* * *

And that is how Radford found them. A beautiful young woman sharing a torn blanket with two silly, noisy little girls on a warm Sunday afternoon. His own daughter was almost unrecognizable in her unreserved playfulness. Evelyn with her long hair shining in the sun, her laughter floating joyfully across the lawn, wiped the jam off Rebecca’s smiling face.

This is how it should be, he thought. Sunday picnics in the backyard, his daughter playing with other children, himself eagerly awaiting the evening when he could relax with people he cared about instead of bunking with grumbling coworkers.

“We’re having a picnic,” Rebecca yelled when she spotted him. She ran across the yard and grabbed his hand, dragging him toward the blanket while he followed along in astonishment.

Rebecca never ran!

They reached the others and she pulled on his hand, begging him to sit. Radford dutifully knelt on the blanket, his arm resting on his bent knee. His gaze collided with Evelyn’s pleasure-filled eyes. She was amazing. She had given Rebecca something that he thought forever impossible.

Though his stomach was still averse to the thought of food, Rebecca was already handing him a sorry-looking slice of bread that he didn’t have the heart to refuse. He captured her hand. “Maybe I’ll have a nibble.” He dipped his head and nipped the tip of her finger. Her eyes widened and she squeaked, yanking her hand to her belly. Radford laughed at her reaction. “Do you think I’m a monster who’s going to gobble you up?” 

“Are you a monster?” Helen asked in awe.

He fought back a laugh and made his scariest monster face. “Maybe I am,” he said in a horribly scratchy voice.

Helen screamed and scrambled from the blanket. Rebecca giggled and raced after her friend. They hid behind the nearest tree, taking turns peeking around the trunk, Rebecca’s laughing face appearing every few seconds.

Radford stared after her, realizing he was seeing the real essence of his daughter for the first time. Rebecca was not the fragile child he’d believed her to be. She was a curious, healthy little girl. Evelyn had seen that from the beginning.

Something in the way Evelyn sat there, her face bathed in sunshine, so charming in her laughter, so naturally generous, made him achingly aware of her as a woman. One glance at her slender body clothed in a blue cotton dress reminded him of where he’d had his hands last night and he wished she would change back into her baggy britches. He was infinitely more comfortable with the Evelyn who shoveled stalls and ended up as dirty as he at day’s end.

Getting to his feet, he watched the girls wander off toward the swing and decided it would be a good idea to see if Kyle wanted to work on his house. “I guess monsters aren’t welcome at picnics. Sorry if I ruined it.”

A soft smile crept across her lips and the green in her eyes seemed to darken. “You didn’t, Radford,” she said quietly. “The girls loved your teasing, and I like having you around.”

An indescribable warmth radiated from her. He saw it in the way she treated Rebecca and tended her horses, and in her eyes when she smiled, her voice when she laughed. It drew him like cold hands are drawn to a warm fire.

She shook the crumbs from Rebecca’s blanket then stood and gathered everything in her arms. “I need to check my stew.”

Radford watched her walk to the house, back straight, striding confidently, no excessive swaying of her skirts. She was as individual in her walk as she was in her manner. No posturing, no overt displays of womanly charms, no aversion to dirt and hard work. There was nothing fancy about her, yet she was utterly attractive. And Radford wished she wasn’t promised to his brother.