Grayson Brothers Series Boxed Set (4 books in 1) (15 page)

As the month of September gave way to October the days turned comfortably cool and the leaves turned magnificent shades of red and gold. Kyle had finally found a way to apologize to Radford by rattling into the yard with a wagon full of lumber to rebuild the horse shelter that Radford had torn down.

Evelyn scoured her garden for the last of her vegetables and kept an eye on Rebecca and Helen who were digging in a fallow corner. Occasionally, she’d glimpse Radford and Kyle as they carried away the old planks then started building the new shelter.

For brothers, they were remarkably different. Where Kyle was thick-chested and heavily muscled, Radford was lean with long arms and narrow hips. Kyle’s brown hair warmed to the color of deep auburn in the sun while Radford’s appeared to darken to a deeper, richer brown. They were handsome, proud men and worthy of any woman’s interest.

 But Evelyn was still drawn to the wrong one. She’d tried to change that, but no matter how much time she spent with Kyle in the evenings, she’d been unable to nurture their friendship into passion. She owed it to Kyle to tell him about her lack of feelings, but couldn’t bear the thought of hurting him. Long ago she’d promised to stand beside him, to always be there for him, and only a few short weeks ago, she’d promised to marry him. If she broke their engagement now, he’d surmise why she’d had a change of heart and the results would be disastrous.

She stood and stretched her back. Maybe when she was away from Radford she could think clearly again. If she tried, she could make a good home with Kyle, and perhaps in the intimacy of their bedroom they would both let down their guard and rediscover each other. She cast one last, regretful look at Radford and told herself to let him go. 

Rebecca’s terrified scream turned Evelyn’s skin to ice. Everything moved forward in slow motion. A black snake slithered beneath the fence near Rebecca’s feet. Radford and Kyle flew through the air, leaping the fence in unison; Kyle still holding his axe like a wild Indian with a tomahawk, Radford with a look on his face that froze Evelyn in her tracks.

Kyle reached for Rebecca, but Radford growled and shoved him aside.

Kyle stumbled back four steps before he caught his balance, a dumbfounded expression on his face as he looked at Radford. Helen crouched in fear near the fence, and Evelyn stared in shock at the savage look on Radford’s face.

“Did the snake bite you?” he asked, his voice thick and trembling with fear as he inspected his daughter.

Rebecca shook her head then burst into tears and fell into his arms.

Radford squeezed his eyes shut and pressed his ashen face to his daughter’s head.

Evelyn exchanged a concerned glance with Kyle before he jumped the fence and trotted in the direction the snake went.

Evelyn squatted beside Radford and touched his arm. When he looked at her, all Evelyn could see was his tormented eyes above Rebecca’s curls. That he was embarrassed for shoving Kyle, for being unable to control his reaction, was obvious. He seemed so lost, so utterly pathetic in his shame, that she ached for him.

“It’s all right, Radford.” Evelyn moved her hand to Rebecca’s back and Radford’s fingers immediately linked with hers. He gripped them hard, hanging on as though Evelyn could save him from himself. “What happened?” William asked, his voice graveled and breathless.

Evelyn jumped to her feet and hurried toward him. Her father stood at the edge of the fence, breathing hard and leaning heavily on his cane. His face was white and his legs were visibly quaking. The shock had nearly undone her father and she was frantic that he would collapse. “You need to sit down, Papa.” She took his arm, not caring in the least if Radford thought she was pampering him. Without her help he would never make it back to the house.

Radford stepped over the fence with Rebecca on one arm and stopped Evelyn with his free hand. “Take her,” he said gently, passing Rebecca to her. He put a steadying arm around William’s waist and led him slowly to the porch, explaining what happened as they went.

Evelyn beckoned to Helen, who was trailing at a distance then when both girls were tucked protectively at her side, she followed Radford and her father to the house. 

When Kyle joined them a few minutes later, he clapped a hand on Radford’s shoulder. “You all right?”

“Yeah.” Radford grimaced. “I’m sorry.”

Kyle nodded then squatted in front of Rebecca and wiped a tear off her cheek with his thumb. “That snake won’t be bothering you again.”

“Will he s-stay away?” Rebecca hiccupped and sniffed.

“Absolutely,” Kyle said with a smile.

Rebecca threw her arms around his neck and hugged him hard. “Thank you, Unco Kyle.”

The look of wonder that crossed Kyle’s face was an expression Evelyn had never before witnessed on him. His big shoulders and solid neck looked so out of place with little arms wrapped around them that Evelyn was transfixed. But when he closed his eyes and pressed a kiss to Rebecca’s curls, it wrenched her heart and made her eyes tear.

As though he suddenly realized what he was doing, he stood up and backed away. Evelyn held out a hand, wanting to keep that tender side of him from slipping away, but he didn’t reach back.

“Did I ever tell you about the snake that got after me when I was your dad’s age?” William asked Rebecca. She hiccupped and shook her head. “It was an old hoop snake. Either of you girls ever heard of a hoop snake?” They both shook their heads. “Well, come over here and I’ll tell you a story about a real snake. That black snake was just being friendly with you. It’s those nasty hoop snakes that you gotta look out for.”

Helen and Rebecca knelt on the floor in front of his chair, hands on knees, gazing up in anticipation. Evelyn leaned against the railing beside Kyle while Radford took a seat beside her father.

“Those old hoop snakes are poisonous and if they get you, well, you could swell right up until you burst.”

“Really?” Rebecca asked, obviously displeased.

“Do they have teeth?” Helen asked.

“Can’t say. I do know they bite their own tail and roll where they want to go. Looks just like a big ole buggy hoop, so if you ever see one you’d better hightail it out of there.”

“I will,” Rebecca promised, as if taking a solemn oath.

“I had to run from one myself when I was a little older than you. I was helping my pa build a new shed, but we ran out of wood so he made me dig taters for the day. While I was in the field, I heard a noise and what do you suppose I saw rolling right at me?”

“A hoop snake!” both girls supplied in unison, bouncing on their knees in suspense.

“That’s right. I didn’t have time to run so I tried to defend myself with the ash handle of my potato hook. That darn snake knocked it right out of my hand with its tail. I’ll tell you, I never ran so fast in all my life. I stayed clear of there for the rest of the day, but my pa made me go back and get that doggone potato hook the next morning. We were expecting rain and he said it’d be ruined if it got wet. I looked all over for that blasted hook then I stopped and scratched my head. There was a huge chunk of wood laying in the middle of the garden that hadn’t been there before, and after I took me a good look, I realized it was the potato hook. Must be that darn snake stuck its poison in that handle and blew it up to the size of a tree.”

“It did?” Rebecca asked. “Did your daddy yell at you about the ‘tato hook?”

Evelyn saw her father’s lips twitch, but he managed to keep a straight face. “No, he hitched up the wagon and took that chunk of wood to the mill and had it cut up for our shed.”

“Did Unco Kyle cut it up for you?” Rebecca asked, her face beaming.

This time it was Kyle who laughed and William continued with a chuckle. “No, sweetpea. Your uncle Kyle wasn’t born yet, so someone else had to do it. Anyhow, we took that lumber and finished off our shed. But it got too dark for us to put the shingles on the roof so we had to wait until the next morning. But guess what happened?” he asked mysteriously, and both girls leaned closer.

“It had stormed all night and soaked everything for miles. When the water went down, I walked out back and looked at our shed. I blinked my eyes, thinkin’ I was still sleepin’ until my pa came out behind me and cursed up a blue streak. You see, the rain had washed the snake’s poison out of the wood and all we had left of our shed by morning was tiny pieces of wood that looked just like toothpicks.”

“That’s a fib, Grandpa!” Rebecca said, giggling.

He hooted and held out his hand. “I know it is, but come up here and give me a kiss anyhow.” To Evelyn’s amazement, Rebecca climbed onto his lap and squeezed his neck.

“You tell good stories, Grandpa.”

“Well, you’re a good listener, sweetpea, and it makes Grandpa happy to share his silly tales with you.” He tickled her side and made room for Helen who wasn’t about to be left out. “I hope you’re not going to let those snakes scare you anymore.”

Rebecca shook her head. “Nope! I’ll just get Unco Kyle to chase them away!”

Evelyn glanced at Kyle, who was wearing such a warm expression, that for a moment, she knew her old friend still existed somewhere beneath his business armor. Yet, even if she could find him again, she wondered if it would be enough now that she knew what passion felt like.

“Radford!” Evelyn yelled, rushing into Radford’s bedroom. She grabbed his shoulder and shook him. “Wake up! Papa needs a doctor.”

He shot up in bed, his gaze darting around the room as though expecting something to fly at him from a darkened corner. “Where are they?” he panted.

Evelyn yanked his hand to jar him from the dark world that made his eyes wild. “Papa’s had an attack. I need you to get the doctor.”

Radford stared at her for two full seconds then shook the remnants of sleep from his head. “Where is he?” he asked, his voice gruff with sleep as he leapt from bed. Oblivious to his nudity, he yanked on his trousers and stepped barefoot into his boots, tying his laces with quick jerks.

They rushed across the hall to her father’s room where Radford checked her father’s breathing and pulse. “I’ll be back as soon as I can,” he said then dashed from the room.

 Evelyn turned up the lantern then held her father’s cool, frail hand. “Papa?”

He rolled his head toward her. His face was sagging on one side, as though his muscles had given up their job of holding skin to his face. “Why arn’ you in bed, pixie?” he asked, his speech slurred, his eyes glassy.

  He used to ask Evelyn that same question years ago when he’d find her playing in her bedroom after she was supposed to have been asleep. Instead of chastising, he’d tuck her in bed with her doll and kiss them both good night.

Evelyn smoothed her hand across her father’s chest. “It’s my turn to tuck you in, Papa. Rest now. I’ll be right here.”

It seemed she sat at his bedside, holding his hand, for hours before Radford came back with Doc Finlay. The doctor greeted her briefly then examined her father in silence. When he finished, he rolled his shoulders and rubbed his neck. “He’s coherent and responsive, but your father is very weak. Providing there isn’t another attack, he’ll recover. I’ll check back tomorrow to see how he’s coming along.”

Radford took the doctor back to town and Evelyn sat in the chair next to her father’s bed, holding his hand while he slept. Occasionally she would place her palm near his mouth to check his breathing. When fatigue finally claimed her, she rested her head against the side of the chair and laid her hand upon his chest. The steady beat of his heart reassured her and she closed her eyes.

For three days she sat with him, unwilling to leave his side. Radford spent his time between the barn and the sickroom while Kyle, Duke, and Boyd took turns helping in the livery and coming to visit in the evenings.

On the third night, Kyle poked his head into the room. “How’s he doing?”

Evelyn glanced at her sleeping father. “He’s sick to his stomach today.”

“You don’t look so well yourself.” Kyle entered the room and pulled her into his arms, rubbing his palm across her back. “Can I do anything?”

Evelyn rested her cheek against his thick chest, thinking she could close her eyes and fall asleep right there. “You’re doing enough in the livery. I really appreciate that, Kyle. Be sure to thank Boyd and Duke for me and tell them I owe them each a pie when I get my kitchen back from your mother.”

“So she’s chased you out, has she?”

Evelyn lifted her head and smiled. “She’s been wonderful. Rebecca loves the games they’ve been playing. Without your mother, we would have all starved over the past few days.”

“Well, she’s downstairs right now planning our wedding meal, which is only three weeks away in case you’ve forgotten.”

Evelyn met his eyes. “I know, but we’ll have to wait if Papa’s not better soon.”

“Then make sure you take good care of him. Now that you’ve learned about monkeyshines, I’m eager for our wedding night,” he said, pulling her against him.

“Are you fonnlin’ my daughter?”

Embarrassed to be caught in Kyle’s arms, yet pleased to hear the strength returning to her father’s voice, Evelyn hurried to his side.

Kyle joined them and laid his hand over William’s. “How you doing?”

“Shitty.”

“Well, before you know it you’ll be tipping a horn with me at your daughter’s wedding.”

William smiled weakly. “Soun’s good. Now quit molestin’ her while I’ve got my eyes closed.”

“Yes, sir.” Kyle grinned and gave him a squeeze on the shoulder. He cupped Evelyn’s chin and gave her a quick kiss. “I’ll see you tomorrow,” he said then left the house.

Later that night, Evelyn’s father grew pale and started heaving, his body wracked with tremors. Panicked, Evelyn sent Radford for Doc Finlay again. She paced the bedroom with growing anxiety until they arrived. After long minutes of silent examination the doctor shook his head and said her father was suffering with influenza and shouldn’t be left alone in his already weakened condition.

Frightened by the added threat, Evelyn and Radford nursed her father for two days, covering him with extra blankets when his teeth chattered from chills, wiping his face with cool cloths when he burned with fever, holding a pan when he was sick and giving him water when he could keep it down.

On the third bone-weary night, Evelyn and Radford sat with the bed between them, the lantern casting a soft golden glow upon their shoulders and across the blankets. Radford’s long fingers rested on the mattress inches from hers and Evelyn thought how natural it would be to reach over and link her fingers with his. She needed his strength. No one would know.

“What are you thinking?” Radford asked quietly, his eyes probing hers.

“I was... feeling relieved that Papa’s resting.”

He shook his head slowly, his shadowed cheeks alternately catching the lantern glow. “No you weren’t.”

Tension buzzed around them while he made a slow study of her face. His eyes darkened and her pulse quickened, but she was unable to look away from his masculine features and tired eyes. Something in his expression beckoned her closer, but the strain in his shoulders sent currents of warning racing through her body.

With slow purpose, he planted both feet on the floor then unfolded his long body until he was standing. She was spellbound by the magnitude of emotion she saw in his eyes. He moved around the bed, and her breath caught in her throat when he stopped beside her. 

He lifted his hand to her cheek, but didn’t touch her. Instead he stepped away and spoke hoarsely over his shoulder. “I need air.”

* * *

Radford stood on the balcony trying to talk himself out of running. He was losing the battle. It wasn’t just the physical wanting that tormented him. It was the deeper need to know Evelyn, to learn what she liked or loved. What was her favorite time of day for a horseback ride? Did she enjoy the rhythmic chirping of night peepers better than the bright sound of morning robins? Was there a special dream or hope that lay within that tender heart of hers? Was it something he could give her?

And what about Kyle? What did Radford owe him? Loyalty and trust for certain, but to what extent? Was Radford to forfeit his own happiness, his life, for Kyle? Or Rebecca’s happiness? Perhaps not, but neither would he steal that very thing from his brother.

With a low, agonized groan, Radford turned his face to the breeze. “I can’t do it!” he said to the night. “I can’t.”

Unwilling to torment himself further, he returned to William’s room, annoyed to find Evelyn sleeping in the chair again. How many nights now had he told her to go to bed, that he would sit with William? Yet here she was, stubbornly asleep with her temple against the side of the chair, her braid falling across her shoulder and curling in her lap.

Radford shook her gently, but she didn’t stir. He tried more insistently and still she slept, unaware of his struggle not to kiss her parted lips. Dark lashes fanned her cheeks and were surrounded by purple smudges of exhaustion. Pity welled inside him and he knelt down, slipped his arms beneath her legs and shoulders, and lifted her into his arms.

She nestled her face in his neck, but her arms slackened in fatigue and fell to her side as she drifted off again. Radford carried her to her room and placed her on the bed. As he pulled the sheet over her, he warned himself to get out of her room. But he stayed and studied the arch of her eyebrows, the shape of her mouth, her regal cheekbones and pretty nose. He cupped her jaw and rubbed his thumb lightly across her lips. Unable to help himself, Radford leaned over and placed a reverent kiss upon the mole above her mouth.

“I’ve wanted to do that so many times,” he whispered. Then, while he still had an ounce of restraint, he left her room and began to pack.

The war had taught him to recognize his limits, and with Evelyn, he was crossing the line. He needed to get away for a couple of days to clear his mind and decide the true depth of his feelings for her.

Whether he owed Kyle or not, one thing was certain: brothers were for protecting, not betraying.

* * *

Evelyn could tell her father was as lost as she was without Radford and Rebecca. They had left yesterday morning for Syracuse to get a doctor Radford said he could trust to help her father. But her father was so much improved this evening that Evelyn thought Radford might end up wasting the doctor’s time as well as his own.

Still, after the tense moment she and Radford had shared in her father’s bedroom the other night, she sensed this was Radford’s way of honoring Kyle.

She sat beside her father on the sofa and gently nudged his shoulder, seeking the security and comfort she’d always found there. “Let’s snuggle,” she said.

His lips tilted in a sad, crooked smile, his face still sagging slightly on one side, but he’d regained his speech.

He put his hand on her knee and Evelyn covered his knuckles with her palm. “Was Radford ever a coward, Papa?”

Her father’s surprised glance gave Evelyn the answer even before he spoke. “I have yet to meet a man, myself included, with a deeper sense of integrity or a greater amount of courage than that young man.”

Evelyn laced her fingers with her father’s and stroked the thin parchment of his skin. “What happened to him? Why does he have that volcano inside him?”

 “Fighting a war hurts a man’s mind as much as his body. Radford couldn’t shut away his conscience during the battles. His heart was present in every second of the war.”

“What about you, Papa? Did fighting bother you?”

“Sure,” he said quietly, “but I knew my duty and I was proud to serve with such a fine regiment of men. We never intentionally hurt anyone outside of battle. I could live with that.”

“Then why couldn’t Radford?”

“He suffered too deeply, I guess, and still does by the sound of his nightmares. That war lynched the soul from every one of us. We were not only facing the enemy, but ourselves as well. Most of us didn’t like what we saw in our reflection. It was hard for any of us to destroy a human life. Radford knew what he had to do, but he never accepted the killin’. There were times when I couldn’t stomach it, either, when I was ashamed of my actions.”

“You did what you were ordered to do.”

He put his arm around her. “Lay your head on my shoulder, pixie. It reminds me of a time when I used to take care of you. I miss that.”

“I’ll always need you.” Evelyn snuggled against his side, loving the warmth and the familiar scent of him that made her feel protected despite his frailness. Their closeness offered a sense of security in a lonely house, and they sat in the silence for a few minutes, each taking comfort from the other. She held his crippled hand between her own and rubbed her thumb across the transparency of his skin, watching it shift over his bony knuckles and blue veins. He was only fifty-three, but after his seizures, he looked and acted seventy-three.

“There was a time when I thought I could take care of everyone,” he said quietly, “but I was too ambitious and too proud. I made a mistake that cost Radford his peace of mind. That incident was the final straw for him and it never let him go. Every time I looked at him after that day, I saw the eyes of an old man looking back at me.”

“What happened?”

“Something I still regret, but I have no right to tell. Radford’s entitled to his privacy. If he chooses to talk about those times, it’s his decision.”

“All right, Papa, but could you talk to Radford about his nightmares? Kyle’s convinced that he’ll eventually leave again.”

“He might, but I can see that he’s tryin’ hard not to.” Her father’s grizzled cheek caught in her hair as he rubbed it against the top of her head. “I’m asking you to respect his privacy. Radford’s been through hell. Until he faces these things within himself, I don’t think he will ever be settled.”

Kyle was right then, Evelyn acknowledged silently, her heart crashing to her stomach. Radford’s demons would eventually chase him away again. It was just a matter of time.

She sat for a long while with her head on her father’s frail shoulder, her hand clasped in his. Random thoughts dashed in and out of her mind. She wondered what mistake her father had made, but she knew it would be unkind to ask him to betray Radford’s confidence, so finally she let it go and changed the subject.

“Papa, why did Agatha Brown deliver a pie for you today?”

“I don’t know. Maybe she’s finally forgiven me for setting her aside for your mother.”

“What?” Evelyn sat up and gawked at her father.

“Aggie and I were going to get married, but your mother came to town, and once I’d seen her, well...” His lips tilted in a soft smile of remembrance and his voice grew melancholy. “I’d never met anyone like your mother. There was a wildness about her that intrigued me. I tried to remain faithful to Aggie, but my heart decided otherwise.”

“So you and Mother fell in love and you broke your engagement?” Evelyn asked, loving the romantic story.

“No. Your mother didn’t want a thing to do with me.”

“Well, you obviously got together.”

He grinned. “I wore her down with my effusive charm.”

Evelyn giggled. “Now, that I can believe. I’ll bet she was just playing hard to get.”

“Your mother disliked me. Aggie was her best friend and Mary was offended that I could consider anyone else when I’d already made a promise to Aggie. It was long after I broke the engagement before Mary would consider seeing me. Then of course, she fell instantly in love with my charming personality and begged me to marry her.”