Grayson Brothers Series Boxed Set (4 books in 1) (32 page)

Sunlight streamed in through the huge bedroom window and Amelia squinted as she braced up on an elbow. She rubbed her eyes, feeling disoriented and anxious. The room was wide and long and filled with light. Thick oak beams glowed warmly overhead. The bedcovers were dark and masculine beneath her curious fingers but wonderfully soft against her skin.

Her gaze settled on the fireplace, cold now, but familiar enough that she remembered where she was. She had sat in one of the burgundy brocade chairs the night before, drinking tea with her husband. Then she’d slept in his bed all night without consummating their marriage.

Shame burned through her and she glanced over her shoulder expecting to see Kyle stretched out beside her. He wasn’t there, the coolness of the sheets indicating he’d been gone for a while.

She glanced at the clock on the nightstand and nearly stopped breathing. How long had he been waiting for his breakfast? She threw back the covers, leapt from bed, and yanked on her lightweight wrapper.

She rushed into the hall, but stopped outside the bedroom door, uncertain which direction to head. There was a door across from her and another to her right at the end of the hall. To her left and several feet down, the hallway appeared to open into a large room that Amelia assumed to be the main part of the house. She hurried in that direction and found herself in the parlor that Kyle had carried her into last night. Diagonally across from her was another open door and she rushed to it, praying it was the kitchen.

The room was occupied by a small bed and dresser instead of a stove and sink. Frustrated, she swept her tangled hair behind her shoulders, and turned back, her eyes frantically scanning the parlor.

Kyle leaned in a doorway across the room watching her.

She gasped and pressed a hand to her chest. “I had no idea it was so late. I was just looking for the kitchen.”

“It’s in here.” He gestured with his chin toward the room behind him.

He was dressed for church, wearing a navy blue jacket and trousers with a white dress shirt and navy bow tie. Remembering how he’d looked last night with his skin bare and his hair mussed, his eyes stormy as his hands and mouth moved over her body made Amelia’s insides melt. She’d lain awake for hours aching to finish what they’d started, knowing she couldn’t. Seeing him now, so handsome as he stood in a swatch of sunshine angling through the parlor window, reinforced her desire to share a loving union with him.

“You should have woken me,” she said, tugging the belt on her wrapper tighter as she started toward him. “I’ll have breakfast ready in a minute.”

“It’s already on the table.”

Her head snapped up and her footsteps faltered.

“Habit,” he said with a shrug. “I’m used to doing for myself.”

“I’m sorry, Kyle.” Amelia hung her head. Not only had he been cheated out of his rightful wedding night, but he’d had to make his own breakfast. “I’d hoped to do a better job than this.”

She heard the whisper of his clothing as he moved forward, saw his black Sunday shoes stop in front of her. He tipped her chin up until she looked at him. “I don’t care about breakfast.”

“You shouldn’t have had to do this.”

“You’ll probably wish I hadn’t when you taste my eggs. Come on. They’ll be worse if they get cold.”

Two plates filled with eggs and toast sat on a sturdy oak table in the middle of a gorgeous room. To her surprise the kitchen was accented by wallpaper in deep greens and rich burgundy swirls of color that brightened rather than darkened the room. A six-plate Acme stove was centered along the wall to her left, and straight ahead was a small icebox and a large sink surrounded by several feet of counter. Overhead a string of beautiful oak cabinets lined the wall. A small oak door, which she assumed to be the pantry, and a large window filled with sunshine, consumed the wall to her right. Awed by the beauty of the room, she stared at Kyle. “This is lovely.”

“My brothers helped me build the house. Boyd made the cupboards and did most of the wood trim. I didn’t have the patience for it.”

He pulled out her chair then joined her at the table where they ate in awkward silence. Amelia inherently understood that Kyle wasn’t one for small talk, but it rattled her that she knew nothing personal about her husband except that he had the ability to both frighten and excite her. She sensed a private, tender side that he guarded, but she also knew Kyle was every bit the tough businessman people believed him to be. How on earth was she going to find a way to appeal to both men?

The eggs were perfectly cooked, but her nervous stomach would only accept half of the meal he’d put on her plate. Kyle had finished ahead of her, but he waited until she’d wiped her mouth with the napkin and laid it beside her plate.

She glanced at him. “It was kind of you to do this.”

He tipped his head in a slight nod of acknowledgment, but his gaze lingered, his eyes framed with an abundance of black lashes that she hadn’t noticed last night in the shadows. His chest lifted and his lips parted, but whatever he’d thought to say stayed in his mouth.

Conscious of her mussed hair, she finger-combed it back and hooked it behind her ears. She stared down at her plate, embarrassed by her looks and by the awkwardness between them she didn’t know how to lessen. “I should get ready for church.”

As if eager to escape the tension, Kyle slid his chair away from the table. “I’ll harness the horses. Will twenty minutes be enough time for you?”

“Yes. It’ll only take a few minutes to clean up and get dressed.” Amelia shoved her chair back and reached for the plates in one motion. She scooped up their silverware and stacked the plates together, but before she could straighten up, Kyle reached out and stilled her arm with a firm but careful grip. She clutched the plates and glanced up at him.

“I can wait for you, Amelia.”

Her stomach flipped and her face heated. Was he purposely repeating the words he’d spoken last night to reassure her that she could trust him? Or was it his way of reminding her that he’d only promised to wait one night?

* * *

Surrounded by friends and family, Kyle sat in church beside his wife and new mother-in-law, feeling more alone than he ever had in his life. He’d always thought marriage would banish that empty feeling, but somehow it only seemed to emphasize it.

He didn’t blame Amelia for needing time to settle in to their marriage and grow comfortable with him any more than he blamed Catherine for refusing to meet his eyes when he’d greeted her on the way into church. Even now, he could see Catherine out of the corner of his eye, sitting beside Richard with her face turned slightly away as if fighting the temptation to glance in Kyle’s direction.

He knew it was respect and consideration that motivated her, not anger or resentment. Catherine still loved a man named Simon who’d died in the war. She’d confessed to Kyle after their first intimate engagement when he’d been so shocked by Catherine’s unexpected virginity that he had proposed out of obligation. Richard’s father, Alfred Cameron, had married Catherine, a woman twenty years his junior, in hopes of ending his sudden impotency. But Catherine’s beauty and voluptuous body hadn’t corrected his problem. The only thing they’d shared in their marriage had been friendship.

Though Catherine had been touched by Kyle’s proposal, she’d never wanted more than friendship from him.

Still, he felt guilty for not having had the opportunity to tell Catherine he was marrying Amelia. Now he wished for a moment alone with her so he could thank her, so he could try, in his stumbling manner, to tell her what she’d meant to him. But all he could do was catch her eye and silently ask her to understand, to forgive his lack of tactfulness in ending their relationship.

He knew Catherine would want him to be happy in his marriage, just as he would wish the same for her. Unfortunately, he was learning that happiness was elusive and sporadic. There had been moments in his life when his laughter had come easy, when he’d felt a reckless burst of joy that fueled his passion for living, but mostly, life had been demanding and temperamental, sometimes even stingy.

His gaze slid to Amelia. Would she, too, prove to be demanding and temperamental? Or stingy? Would she ever evoke a natural burst of joy and laughter in him? Would she give him the passion he knew was bottled up inside her?

More importantly, what would he give her? Protection and security, for certain. Regardless of the circumstances of their forced marriage, Amelia deserved, and would have, his respect and fidelity, But emotionally Kyle had nothing left for anyone. Since the ordeal with Radford and Evelyn, Kyle had felt dead inside. Their betrayal had shattered his trust. He’d spent the past several months easing the ache in his chest, and now that he was finally breaking free of that weight, he wasn’t willing to open himself again. Not even for his wife. They would share a house and a bed. That would have to be enough.

As if Amelia sensed his scrutiny, her lashes lifted and she looked up at him. Her eyes held unspoken feelings he couldn’t read, a depth of sadness he knew he’d caused, a nervous shyness that warred with her curiosity to know him. He sensed her hidden desire to be touched, her fear of embracing passion, the unanswered questions she wouldn’t ask.

What did she think of him? Was she really afraid of him or only apprehensive because of the newness of their relationship?

“Is something wrong?” she whispered, a delicate crease of concern forming between her eyebrows.

Should he tell her the truth? That she scared him? That he ached to make love with her? That he didn’t want to wait until tonight? No. He couldn’t tell her any of that. To confess that he burned for her would frighten rather than flatter her. For now, he would grit his teeth and wrestle with his urges in silence.

Instead of going home after church they visited for a long while in the Common, receiving hugs of congratulations and well wishes from their friends and neighbors. Finally, Kyle helped her onto their carriage and headed out Liberty Street. He slowed the horse in front of Evelyn and Radford’s house. “Do you mind if we stop in for a few minutes?”

“Of course not,” Amelia said, her expression shifting from anxious to elated. “I would love to visit a while.”

She would love to delay spending the afternoon alone with him was more likely, but Kyle didn’t comment. If they wouldn’t be spending the time in bed, the long hours held little appeal for him, too.

He stopped the carriage in the driveway and saw Boyd near the barn dismounting from his horse. At the same time, Radford exited the livery with his daughter, Rebecca, riding on his shoulders. Though the eldest and tallest of the four, Radford could have been Boyd’s twin. They both had dark coloring and gold eyes, but unlike Boyd, Radford was a quiet, happily married man who didn’t break his neck watching girls all day.

Boyd opened his arms to Rebecca. “Come here, princess.”

Kyle climbed from the carriage, his attention on the exuberant five-year-old who’d stolen his heart the day Radford brought her home. She’d been abandoned by her mother at infancy and was withdrawn and needy then. Now, with the healing love of her stepmother Evelyn, Rebecca was as wild and reckless as her uncle Boyd who was twirling her in a circle.

“If she loses her breakfast, you’re cleaning it up,” Radford said, straightening his collar that Rebecca’s skinny legs had crushed.

Rebecca clung to Boyd, weaving in his arms like a drunkard. He nuzzled her neck, making her squeal with laughter.

“Uncle Kyle, help!” She giggled and flailed her arms toward him. “Uncle Kyle!”

Kyle helped Amelia out of the carriage then turned and swept Rebecca out of Boyd’s arms, glad for the excuse to pull her into a hug.

Rebecca hooked her arms around his neck and kissed his cheek. “You saved me!” She gave him a sloppy smack on his chin. “Put me on your horse.”

“No.” Radford caught her beneath the arms, but she clung to Kyle as if she were a bug with six legs hanging on for life. Radford plucked her away and planted her bare feet on the ground. “Tell your mother we have company.”

She scrunched her nose and tipped her head way back to look up the tall length of her father. “Will she let us eat cookies now?”

Radford’s eyes crinkled and he nodded. “Yeah, sprite.”

“I’ll go get ‘em!” She skipped across the driveway then suddenly her head reared back and her face burst into a glowing ball of joy. “Miss Drake!” she yelled, and Kyle felt his stomach jump to his chest. It wasn’t Miss Drake anymore. It was Grayson. Mrs. Grayson. Good grief, he really had a wife.

* * *

Seeing Rebecca’s bright face and waist-length curls bounce as she ran across the driveway made Amelia’s heart lighten. She knelt and opened her arms in welcome.

“I’m five now, Miss Drake! And I can count over a hundred and do two cartwheels without falling over.”

“Well, isn’t that something!” Amelia exclaimed in a properly impressed manner before kissing Rebecca’s dimpled cheek.

“Mama says you’re my aunt now.”

“That’s right.” Amelia felt her heart swell with love. “I married your uncle Kyle last night and now my last name is Grayson, the same as yours. You can call me Aunt Amelia.”

Rebecca’s eyes widened. “Really?”

“Yes, really.” Amelia laughed and tickled Rebecca’s ribs, loving the yelp of laughter that burst from the little girl.

The front door opened and Evelyn stepped outside. “I thought I heard your voice out here. Come sit a while.” She gestured Amelia toward the porch with a welcoming wave of her hand. “I’m starved for company.”

Rebecca babbled as they ambled down the driveway, and Amelia greeted Radford and Boyd with a smile. Kyle’s inquisitive gaze seemed to inspect every inch of her. Amelia looked away. Every time she saw his gorgeous face, she felt a burst of excitement followed by a hard rush of despair. She wanted so deeply to have a loving marriage like Radford and Evelyn’s, but the guarded look in Kyle’s eyes made it seem impossible. He didn’t even want to talk to her, much less fall in love with her.

“Mama made some cookies,” Rebecca said, grabbing Kyle around the leg, her bare feet looking precious beside his large dress shoes.

He reached down and ruffled her hair. What a mystery he was with his abrupt manner that hid surprisingly tender actions.

“Missy’s gonna have kittens again!”

Kyle smirked. “Is that so?”

“Yup. I’ll get her for you!” Rebecca hopped across the driveway on one foot, scuffing up tiny puffs of dirt before she tromped up the porch steps.

Evelyn knelt in front of Rebecca and wiped a smudge of dirt off her chin. “I think Missy’s in the barn, sweetheart.”

Without a word, Rebecca wheeled around and pounded down the steps. Evelyn and Amelia exchanged a smile, but the desire for her own child gripped Amelia’s heart and she struggled to keep her smile in place.

What would it feel like to have a child of her own, to sit on the porch swing with Kyle and their sleeping baby for a long, lazy afternoon of quiet conversation? She’d seen Radford and Evelyn on that swing, holding hands or cuddling their daughter, and Amelia envied their companionship and love.

“I’ll bring out some tea,” Evelyn said, drawing Amelia away from her private wishes. “Radford, why don’t the three of you visit with Amelia while I get our drinks?”

Boyd started up the steps. “I’ll keep her company.”

Radford laughed, but Kyle just shook his head and followed his brothers onto the wide porch. By the time they had settled in comfortable chairs, Evelyn had returned outside with a tray of tall glasses. “I’m so glad you two stopped in. I figured we wouldn’t see you newlyweds for at least a week.”

Amelia forced herself to smile at Evelyn’s teasing, but she didn’t have the nerve to look at Kyle.

Boyd smacked his forehead. “That’s why Kyle looks so grumpy today. No sleep.”

Kyle scowled.

Boyd winked at Amelia. “If you don’t want to live with a bear, you’d better make sure this boy gets some sleep tonight.”

Though she tried to laugh, her throat closed and her eyes stung. Her mother had always called her father a bear when he was tired. The onslaught of her heartache came so unexpectedly, she couldn’t quell the moisture blurring her eyes. Horrified to find herself on the verge of tears, she lowered her lashes.

Boyd groaned as if he’d been an idiot. “I didn’t intend my teasing to be callous, Amelia.”

She drew a shaky breath and met Boyd’s concerned expression. “You weren’t. You just reminded me of Papa, is all. Mama accused him of being a bear on Sunday mornings, and I... it was hard not having him at my wedding. I thought about him all night and... well...” Amelia shrugged because she couldn’t force any more words from her aching throat.

Sympathy filled everyone’s expression. “Of course you miss him,” Boyd said. “How dense of me not to have considered how you might feel today. I’m sorry.”

She nodded to let him know she accepted his apology, that she understood he’d just been teasing her, but she didn’t dare open her mouth for fear the sob in her throat would roll out.

She hid her face behind her glass and pretended to sip the sweetened tea, but Evelyn’s misty gaze brought a flood of tears rushing to Amelia’s eyes. “I’m so sorry,” she whispered, embarrassed to be teetering on the brink of a breakdown. “I’m having a rough day today.”

“You’re entitled.” Evelyn patted the back of Amelia’s hand. “After my papa died, I didn’t sleep a full night through until I married Radford. It’s good that you have Kyle to help you through this.”

Amelia glanced at her husband. The tormented look in his eyes made her stomach drop. What on earth could he be thinking to make him look so... guilty? If it wasn’t guilt, it was something equally strong, but definitely not love. No. Love was an emotion that radiated warmth and light. The look in Kyle’s eyes held compassion, but there was something deep and painful there that chilled the warm May day.

She leaned back in her chair and drew a shaky breath. “Where did Rebecca disappear to?” she asked, desperate to change the subject, praying the little whirlwind would barrel up the porch steps and light up the dismal mood with her rambunctious enthusiasm.

“She’s on the swing.” Evelyn nodded to the huge oak tree in their yard.

Amelia turned in her chair and looked behind her. Rebecca sat on the board swing with Missy on her lap, talking away as if Missy understood every word she spoke.

Evelyn called to Rebecca. “I thought you wanted some cookies, sweetheart!”

Rebecca’s face lit up and she slid off the swing. She lowered Missy to the ground then ran across the yard and up the porch steps. As if she’d brought the sun with her, the mood changed and it wasn’t long before they were all laughing at Rebecca’s antics and thoroughly enjoying the day.

They spent three glorious hours talking and laughing and lingering over lunch before Kyle insisted it was time to head home. But only minutes after they arrived, Amelia’s mother came by and brought leftovers from their wedding, and by the time her mother finally left, Amelia didn’t even feel capable of taking the food out of the basket.

“Would you mind having leftovers for supper?” she asked.

“No, but it’s too hot in the house. Let’s take the basket and walk down to the gorge.”

It was only a few hundred yards from their home, but she was still surprised by Kyle’s suggestion. She watched him disappear into the guest room and return a minute later with a dark brown throw that had hung over the foot of the bed.

Though she was tired, the fresh air felt great and she filled her nostrils and chest as they descended a steep wooded path. The peepers were waking up and the sun was a big orange ball hanging low in the sky. It cast a soft glow across the gorge and made the water shimmer.

“Is this all right?” he asked.

She nodded for him to spread their blanket in front of a bank of shale. The gorge was mostly loamy soil mixed with shale fragments and flat rocks, but in some areas the ground was smooth and fairly comfortable.

Kyle sprawled across the blanket and Amelia sank down with a sigh. She set the basket between them and rolled her shoulders. “All we need is for your mother to be waiting for us when we get home,” she said then realized how her comment sounded and cringed. “Not that your mother isn’t a lovely lady, Kyle, but one parent a day is plenty.”

“I’ve had enough contact with relatives to last until next Sunday.”

Despite the underlying unease between them, Amelia smiled. “You don’t like making small talk, do you?”

“It seems like a waste of time.”

“What do you like to talk about then?” she asked, curious what a man like Kyle would enjoy discussing.

He shrugged. “Business, I guess. I think about the mill a lot.”

She’d figured as much. She glanced down the gorge and watched the water tumble and turn, gurgling as it twisted its way downstream. Birds swooped between trees, flapping and twittering, as if making their last-minute visits before the lights went out.

“It’s so beautiful here,” she said, wishing she could lean back on the blanket and just drift off to sleep. Kyle didn’t comment, but she suspected he was enjoying the peacefulness, too. As the melody of the gorge wrapped around them, they watched the sun dip, noticed the swatches of orange widen across the banks of the gorge.

“Amelia?”

She glanced up at the softness in his voice.

“I’m sorry about this afternoon at my brother’s house. I should have been more aware of your feelings and brought you home right after church.”

A flush of embarrassment rolled through her and she wanted to return to that companionable silence they had shared a moment before. “I didn’t expect to react so emotionally. I hope I didn’t embarrass you.”

“Of course not. I felt bad for you. Seeing your mother this evening made me feel even worse.”

“Me, too.” Her chest tightened. “Mama’s so lost without Papa.”

“So are you, Amelia.”

Kyle’s unexpected tenderness surprised her. He didn’t reach for her, but to her own surprise, she yearned to lean against his broad chest, to feel the warmth and protection of his muscled arms. It would be wonderful to curl up beside him and surrender her heartache for one night.

As he leaned back on one hand and studied her, she did the same with him. Her gaze traveled up the angular plains of his face and tangled with his dark, liquid gaze. Something warm and ticklish somersaulted in her stomach and she knew it wasn’t the idea of having to marry Kyle that troubled her so deeply. It was the thought of wanting his love and not being able to win it.

He held out his hand to her, but she clutched the blanket. If he touched her, she would be lost. One more second of looking into his hungry eyes and she knew she would fall into his arms and kiss him until tomorrow morning.

“I’m not going to pounce on you.”

For the life of her, she couldn’t think of a single excuse to keep her distance without offending him. She wasn’t afraid of Kyle. She was afraid of herself.

He sighed and moved the basket from between them. “I just want you to sit beside me for a while. Why does that make you nervous?”

“It’s not your request that makes me nervous. It’s your expression.”

“My face has a bad habit of reflecting my thoughts. Gets me in trouble all the time.”

The teasing glint in his eyes shocked Amelia. Kyle was truly oblivious to the power of his own tenderness, the allure of his boyish charm, but it captivated Amelia, and she stared at him, wanting to see more of this side of her husband. Beneath Kyle’s hard shield lurked a sensitive man with a sense of humor. What a surprising gift.

“Are there other bad habits of yours that I should know about?” she asked in a teasing voice, hoping to connect with this personable side of her husband.

“I sing.”

The sound of her own laugh surprised her.

“That’s why I don’t have a dog. He would never put up with the abuse.”