Grayson Brothers Series Boxed Set (4 books in 1) (33 page)

She gazed into his eyes, and though he didn’t smile, she saw warmth there. Maybe he wasn’t as serious as he pretended to be. Maybe he had a forgiving heart buried in that hard, muscular chest. Maybe he would understand her shame and accept her imperfections without blame.

Drawn to his warmth, and assailed by her own reckless need, she considered confessing everything and begging his forgiveness. But as the humor faded from his eyes, her courage waned.

“We should eat,” she said, but she didn’t care a whit about food.

“Later.”

She didn’t protest when Kyle drew her against him, but she kept her face lowered so he wouldn’t kiss her. She felt the thud of his heartbeat against her shoulder, and his slow breathing added another voice to the song in the gorge. For the first time ever, she experienced the rhythm of her world from the circle of a man’s arms, and she listened to the earthy sounds in awe.

After a long silence, Kyle leaned back against the shale bank and drew her with him. Her hair caught against the protruding edges of shale and loosened her chignon. She sat up to fix it, but he stopped her hand.

“Let it down,” he said quietly, his gaze probing hers. Their eyes met, but she was too flustered by his request to comment. “We’ll just sit here and watch the sun set.”

That he was asking for so little when he could claim anything he wanted shamed Amelia. She pulled the pins from her hair, wishing she could give him more.

His eyes filled with appreciation as he looked at her hair hanging to the middle of her back.

The need in Kyle’s eyes made her blush. When he slipped his fingers into her hair, she jumped. He didn’t stop or comment, just kept dragging his fingers through her hair and across her scalp. The feel of his fingers spread delicious sensations across her head and down her neck. Finally, she closed her eyes and simply enjoyed it. “That feels so good,” she whispered then wished her voice hadn’t sounded seductive.

Not daring to look at Kyle, she kept her eyes closed, but to her surprise, he cupped the back of her head and drew her face to his shoulder, like he would with a tired child.

It felt wonderful to curl against his warmth and enjoy the feel of his hands on her body, but she wondered if his attention was leading up to lovemaking.

They sat in the silence for what seemed hours. It was probably only minutes, but under the caress of Kyle’s hands, she felt her bones melt and her eyes grow heavy, and finally, she felt nothing at all.

* * *

Kyle brushed Amelia’s hair back, aching to make love to her, but knowing he wouldn’t. She was exhausted and filled with grief over her father. He had wanted to hold her like this earlier at his brother’s house when her eyes had filled with tears. To hear her voice break with grief, to watch her struggle not to fall apart when he knew she was dying inside, had torn a hole in his chest.

All he’d been able to do was sit there drowning in his own regret and guilt, knowing she would hate him when he told her the truth about her father’s death.

A saw blade made a distinctive sound while slicing through timber; a plaintive whine underscored by buzzing, a breathless pause while the carriage gigged back then another screaming buzz as the blade made a second pass through a strip of pine.

Radford had once described the sound as the rhythm of home, and though Kyle agreed, he also recognized it as the true meaning of progress. The sounds of a busy mill meant money. With money came security and happiness, or so he’d thought until making that deplorable investment in Tom’s lumberyard. He still considered it Tom’s. Until Kyle and his brothers could drag Drake’s sawmill out of debt and build it into a solid business like Grayson Lumber it was just another burden Kyle had hefted onto his own shoulders.

Standing beside Boyd in the middle of their lumberyard, Kyle realized that everything in his life had started falling apart when Evelyn broke their engagement. She’d said their bond of friendship wasn’t enough to make a good marriage and their relationship was missing passion. She’d found that passion with Radford.

Kyle had found himself confused and lonely.

Marriage to Amelia hadn’t relieved the emptiness at all, but he thought he might finally understand what Evelyn had been trying to explain about the power of passion. His physical reaction to Amelia was intense, a need that drove him recklessly forward despite his attempt to hold back. No errant thoughts had scampered through his head while kissing her. He’d been caught up in every nuance of Amelia’s mouth, the intriguing scent of flower and soap in her hair and the softness of her body. She had captured his attention completely, and he’d wanted her with a desperation he’d never before felt.

By his own choice he had endured another night of lying beside his wife while his body ached for release. She’d been tired and grieving for her father, and though Kyle had wanted her, he knew she really did need time to heal.

A hard fist slammed into his shoulder and shattered his thoughts. Boyd frowned at him. “Will you answer my question?”

Kyle rubbed the knot in his right arm and stared at his brother. “What’s wrong with you?”

“I’ve been talking to you for two minutes and you haven’t heard a word I’ve said.”

“Well, what do you want?”

“For you to pay attention.” Boyd cocked his head and studied Kyle. “Have you slept at all in the past two nights?” Kyle opened his mouth, but Boyd raised his hands, palms forward. “Don’t answer that.”

“I haven’t. So don’t hit me again if you don’t want to get knocked on your ass.”

Boyd laughed. “Is married life that bad?”

Kyle rubbed his temples and closed his gritty eyes. “Don’t ask.” His head ached, and for the first time in two days, he honestly believed he could crawl into bed beside Amelia and actually want to sleep.

“I’m not trying to pry, Kyle, but I’ve been wondering why you and Amelia got married.”

“We wanted to.”

Boyd arched an eyebrow as if to dispute Kyle’s comment.

Kyle sighed. “The school board found me in her apartment.”

“What were you doing there?”

“Trying to break our agreement to buy her father’s mill.”

Guilt slowly replaced the shock in Boyd’s expression. “I never told you to go there.”

Kyle shifted his attention to the team of horses hauling a drag of logs into the mill building. “Why do you always say I’m an ass with women?”

“Oh, boy. This is bad.” Boyd rolled his eyes. “Why couldn’t you be having this conversation with Duke? Or Radford?”

“Because you’re the only one who can tell me how to seduce my wife.”

“What?”

Kyle thought he might have to pry Boyd’s jaw off his chest. Knowing he’d finally managed to shock his brother made Kyle’s day.

Boyd scrubbed his palms over his face, glanced around the yard then shook his head. “I must be sleepwalking.”

Kyle would have laughed if he wasn’t so miserable. “Welcome to my nightmare.”

Rays of sun slanted across the side of Boyd’s face, highlighting his expression of disbelief. A pine-scented breeze flipped his hair across his forehead, but he didn’t even blink. Behind him, two men led a team of horses from the barn, yelling good morning as they passed. Boyd still didn’t budge.

“Will you be over your shock soon? We have work waiting for us,” Kyle said, barely able to squeeze the words past his pride.

Boyd laughed. “You’re serious, aren’t you?”

Kyle knew then that the stress had finally pushed him over the edge. Every ounce of his common sense had deserted him. He had to be insane to be discussing anything this personal with Boyd. To be talking about it at all was insane.

“You really want to know why you’re an ass with women?” Boyd asked.

No. But if Kyle ever wanted to consummate his marriage, he’d better find out. “Try not to enjoy yourself too much while relaying the gruesome details.”

“You promise to have my money for me in three weeks,” Boyd said, “and I’ll teach you every seduction trick I know.”

“I can’t even promise that we’ll be in business next week, much less have money for you to buy a tavern that smells of smoke and piss.”

“Then I’m going to ask Richard for a loan.”

Kyle’s gut clenched, but he resisted the urge to grab Boyd’s neck and shake some sense into him. “You aren’t going to let this go, are you?”

“No.”

Kyle nodded, realized nothing he could say or do would change Boyd’s mind. “All right,” he said, finally swallowing the bitter reality that Boyd was going to leave the mill. “Don’t take out a loan. If your business fails—”

“It won’t fail.”

“Well, if the building burns down and you lose everything, you’ll still have to pay back the bank. And don’t bother telling me about insurance. A simple fistfight can bust up a bar pretty badly. A windstorm is hard on a roof and windows, Boyd. There are all kinds of losses that can ruin you before you have half a chance to make a go of it. So just wait.” Kyle huffed out a breath, knowing he couldn’t change Boyd’s mind. “I’ll get your money, but I need some time.” He met his brother’s eyes. “I’ve just made the worst investment mistake of my life. Right now, I need your help.”

Irritation filled Boyd’s expression and he turned away.

“I can’t manage all this on my own, Boyd.”

As if ignoring Kyle would block out the fact that he was asking for help, Boyd stared across the yard.

“I have a wife and mother-in-law to support now,” Kyle said to his back.

Boyd’s shoulders tensed and he continued walking.

“Boyd, don’t make me beg.”

“Damnation!” Boyd kicked a thick slab of bark and it shattered against a log. He let loose a long torrent of cuss words that even Kyle had to admire.

He waited for Boyd’s anger to burn down.

“It’s driving me crazy spending every day of my life here. I need a change. I’m going to buy that tavern, so just get that through your thick head.”

“Fine.”

“And I’m going to restore the bar and tear up that scum-covered floor. I’m putting down oak and replacing the booze-splattered wallpaper. I guarantee you, Kyle, my bar won’t stink like piss when I’m finished renovating it.”

“Good. You can buy me an ale and I’ll help you celebrate.”

Boyd scowled, his face red. “How do you do this to me?” He jammed his hands in his pockets, his glare filled with disgust.

Kyle just smiled. “I think this is the part where you say you’ll help me then reveal all your seduction secrets.”

Boyd shook his head. “You’re going to owe me for this.”

“I know.”

“All right, I’ll stay for a while. Not forever, Kyle. You’d better live up to your part of the deal when I’m ready to go.”

“I will.”

“And you’d better wake up and realize there’s more to life than this mill. You’ve got to stop living for this place. Take Amelia on a honeymoon or something.”

“She’s in mourning and I can’t leave the mill right now. You know that.”

“Then pretend you’re on your honeymoon. Pay attention to her. Go home early and drag her into bed. Tell her you’ve been dreaming about her all day.”

“Are you insane? I’m on the verge of bankruptcy. I don’t have time to think about her.” In fact, he didn’t want to think about her. He wanted a simple, unassuming relationship, like the one he’d had with Catherine.

Boyd shook his head. “You’re dense at times.”

“I’m not going to lie to my wife just to get her into bed.”

“You don’t have to. Just flirt with her. Tease Amelia about distracting you, and don’t tell me she isn’t because you were so wrapped up in your thoughts a few minutes ago that you didn’t even hear me talking to you.”

“All right, Romeo. Fine. I was thinking about my wife. So what? Is this the extent of your worldly advice?”

“Walk around the house with your shirt off. It drives a woman crazy to see a man’s bare chest.”

Kyle laughed. He couldn’t help himself. The idea of his bare skin exciting Amelia was absurd.

“It does,” Boyd insisted. “But it really makes them sweat when you open your pants. Don’t take them off, just let them fall open.”

“What?” Kyle stared at his brother.

“Touch her as often as you can. Stroke her back when she passes by. Kiss her neck just below the ear. Women love their necks kissed. But whatever you do, do not kiss her on the mouth.”

“You’re out of your mind.”

Boyd shrugged as if he were simply stating a fact that Kyle should know. “It diffuses the tension if you kiss her. You’ve got to tease Amelia, make her want to kiss you, but don’t give in to her. It’ll excite her and before you know it, she’ll beg you to do it.”

Kyle folded his arms across his chest feeling it spasm from silent laughter. This was really too much, but it was entertaining to hear Boyd’s warped sense of romance. “Anything else?”

“Rub her feet.”

“What do her feet have to do with what I’m after?”

Boyd grinned. “Trust me, if you can get a hold of her feet, you’re more than halfway to the bedroom.”

Kyle didn’t believe a single word of it, but it felt so good to laugh at his miserable life, he could have hugged his brother right in the middle of their lumberyard.

He wasn’t about to tempt fate by playing with Amelia’s feet, but liked the idea of making her burn for him, making her long to consummate their marriage as desperately as he wanted to.

If he could just keep himself under control long enough to calm her fears, they might find a satisfying relationship in bed. But therein lay the problem. Kyle felt too reckless, too desperate to be reined by logic or compassion. No matter how considerate he wanted to be, he feared the instant he touched Amelia, his lust would trample his good intentions.

* * *

Amelia surveyed the buildings at her father’s lumberyard with new purpose, knowing this would be the best place to win her husband’s heart. She would become his partner, his right arm, his confidante. Then his lover.

Several hundred feet across the yard, an immense, unpainted barn staked its claim on dry, rutted ground. Golden hay spilled out of the second story loft and sprinkled the ground in front of huge double doors. To her right, two long, single-story buildings sat parallel to each other, one of which housed her father’s crew of ten men. The other contained the mess hall and an open area in the back of the building that her father had been converting to his new office. Knowing he would never experience the pleasure of working in it filled Amelia’s throat with grief, but she turned away, reminding herself to keep a clear mind and steady nerves. She needed to remember every word her father ever told her about operating the mill, because she had no actual experience that she could use to prove herself to Kyle. She would just have to bluff her way and pray Kyle didn’t catch on.

The instant she stepped inside the mill building, she slapped her hands over her ears to cut the noise of the screaming blades. Gads, she’d forgotten how deafening it was out here.

Several feet away Kyle was talking with Jeb, dwarfing the mill foreman with his superior height and wide shoulders. Though Jeb’s medium build and kind, dark features made him passably handsome for a man her mother’s age, he paled next to Kyle.

The instant Kyle spotted Amelia, his eyebrows lifted. He glanced at Jeb who shrugged and shook his head as if to say he had no idea why she was trespassing in a man’s world.

Amelia tried to smile, but Kyle’s displeasure was evident in the lowering of his brows, making her question her decision to come.

He sliced his hand across his throat, eliciting a return hand signal from Ray Hawkins, the head sawyer. A moment later, the blades stopped screaming and the mill quieted to a low growl as Amelia approached her frowning husband.

“Is something the matter?” he asked.

She shook her head, her stomach queasy. “I’m here to help you.”

His eyes widened and he glanced at Jeb as if to ask what she was talking about.

Though she’d expected Kyle’s reaction, it still insulted her. “I spent nine summers traipsing through this mill with my father, Kyle. I’m capable of helping here. I happen to know a good deal about our operation,” she said, directing her statement to both men staring at her. She pointed to the iron platform of the sawmill that held a partially cut log. “That piece of timber is shuttled back and forth by the metal table beneath it. It’s called a carriage, Kyle.” She pointed at the heavy iron frame holding the upper circular saw. “We have a Top Rig mill with dual saws that cuts six thousand board feet a day. If Ray talks real sweet to her, she can put out eight thousand feet, or at least that’s what he’s always told Papa.”

Hearing his name, the sawyer puffed out his thin chest. “Well, sometimes a lady needs a bit of encouragement to respond. Don’t she, Jeb?”

Jeb frowned, but Kyle’s gaze swung to Amelia. Heat exploded in her cheeks and she averted her face, knowing he must be wondering how much encouragement it was going to take to get his wife to perform her duty.

“Amelia,” he said, his voice condescending enough to set her teeth on edge, “I appreciate your offer, but this isn’t a place for a woman.”

Unable to look at him and speak coherently, she eyed the mill. “Do you know why we use two blades, Kyle?” She strode toward the mill and turned to face him. “The lower one does the hog work and the upper blade speeds the cutting so we can get more output per day.”