Great Sex, Naturally (33 page)

The Sex-Enhancing Power of Vaginal Strengtheners and Releasers

The next category of sensual enhancers that we’ll explore includes unique devices and methods you can use to increase your capacity for pleasure—and magnify the effects of any other type of sex-enhancer or aphrodisiac. As enhancers and aphrodisiacs go, the tools and techniques in this category could be considered “sleepers.” You might not
expect
them to impact your sexuality … only to be amazed by how much they have to offer. They have a way of sneaking up on your libido, turning it around, and transforming it from top to bottom.

As you discovered in
Chapter 3
, your “hammock” of pelvic muscles, known collectively as your PC muscle, supports your sexual organs and contributes to your sexual pleasure; when you reach orgasm, it contracts with rhythmic intensity. You also discovered that you can help create stronger, more pleasurable orgasms by strengthening your PC muscle with Kegel exercises.

In addition to Kegels, and sex itself (which also increases your PC-muscle strength), some valuable ancient and modern methods can further develop, tone, and release your PC-muscle power. Let’s explore how you can use them to increase your pleasure potential.

Ben Wa Balls: Ancient Secrets, Modern Methods

The exercises we call Kegels can be thought of as descendants of techniques that have been used for millennia. The ancient Chinese used weighted devices known as
Ben Wa balls
, inserted in the vagina, for training the pelvic muscles—a system of vaginal weight lifting, if you will, to increase a woman’s sexual ecstasy, as well as her partner’s.

Traditional Ben Wa balls, which may trace back as far as
A.D.
500, consist of rounded weights of various sizes (typically between a half inch and one inch in diameter). They’ve been referred to as
vagina balls, pleasure balls
, and more recently,
Kegel balls
. Modern Ben Wa balls may be made of metal, jade, plastic, rubber, or other materials. Jade, prized for thousands of years in China, is an especially appropriate material for Ben Wa balls; according to traditional Chinese Medicine, it can help build your feminine yin chi, as well as release stuck chi and negative sexual feelings, in your vagina and pelvis.

Ben Wa balls can be solid or hollow, and some contain movable internal parts, including devices that vibrate. They’re often paired, with a string connecting them. There are many variations of Ben Wa balls available online, including Duotone balls and Smart balls, which both tend to be larger than traditional Ben Wa balls and consist of hollow balls with smaller balls inside them; the small ones bounce rhythmically inside you with each motion of your body, creating vibrating sensations that some women find highly pleasurable. These balls may make strengthening your PC muscle an extremely enjoyable experience.

With Ben Wa balls, you can take your Kegel exercises to a whole new level, using a variety of balls to strengthen and tone your vaginal walls and inner pelvic muscles. With regular use, some women experience noticeable increases in vaginal lubrication, vaginal and clitoral sensation, and orgasmic pleasure. Ben Wa balls are effective because they give you a focal point that helps you become aware of whether you’re squeezing your PC muscle; at the same time, they require you to keep your PC muscle firmly tightened to hold them in place as you move around.

The first time you use Ben Wa balls, you’ll want to be at home and begin with lightweight, larger balls. Empty your bladder, and use a small amount of lubrication on the balls if needed to insert them. Stand with one foot on a chair and gently insert them into your vagina with your finger. It should feel approximately like using a tampon. Try wearing the balls for an hour a day, then work up to longer periods of time over the course of a few weeks. In the early going, you’ll find it easier to hold the balls in place while sitting or standing with your legs together. When your PC muscle grows stronger, you’ll be able to stand with your legs apart, and eventually try the advanced technique of squatting. (Some women reach the point where they can even wear them exercising.) As you develop increasing PC strength, you’ll also be able to gradually increase the weight of the balls.

To remove Ben Wa balls, relax your PC muscle, bear down on your pelvis as if you’re coughing or having a bowel movement (squatting helps), reach your finger into your vagina, and pull them out. Some Ben Wa balls have a string attached for easy removal. (I recommend this type; one patient was unable to remove them on her own.) After each use, wash them well with warm soapy water.

Ben Wa balls shouldn’t be used if you have severe bladder or uterine prolapse (your bladder, or uterus and cervix, is extending down into your vaginal opening), you’re pregnant, it has been less than six weeks since you’ve given birth and you had incisions that haven’t healed, it has been less than six weeks since you’ve had vaginal surgery, you have a vaginal infection, or you have cervical or uterine cancer.

Vaginal Cones: Modern Secrets, Modern Methods

Another effective way to increase your capacity for pleasure, become familiar with your PC muscle, and develop its strength is with specialized weighted cones held in your vagina. Vaginal cones have numerous benefits: in addition to enhanced sexual response and erotic sensation, women who use them report improved libido, more energy, and less anxiety. They’re especially helpful for building your “resting” muscle tone—you don’t want your PC muscle too lax while at rest—and preventing and treating urinary incontinence. Vaginal cones also help prevent prolapse of the bladder or uterus, and PC muscle weakness after childbirth or menopause.

To begin using vaginal cones, wear a larger, lighter cone for one to five minutes twice daily. This helps you become aware of the cone while squeezing your PC muscle to hold it in place. Once you’re accustomed to wearing it and you’ve begun to build PC-muscle strength, you can progress to smaller, heavier cones, which require more flexing to hold in, and eventually work up to wearing heavier cones for 20 minutes twice daily. (Some types of cones may allow you to increase the weight without changing the size.) Listen to your body, and gradually lengthen the time that you wear each cone. Once you’ve mastered the technique, you can wear cones while going about your daily activities; for an extra challenge, apply enough lubricant to a cone to require greater flexing to keep it in place. Wash your cones with soap and water after each use.

It’s generally recommended that you wear vaginal cones daily over an 8-to 12-week period. For many women, this is a sufficient course of therapy to develop noticeable improvements in PC-muscle strength and pleasure during sex; others wear cones longer to obtain the desired results. You shouldn’t use vaginal cones if you have severe bladder or uterine prolapse, or any other conditions previously described that would preclude the use of Ben Wa balls. Vaginal cones are usually sold in sets containing cones of various sizes and weights. For information on purchasing them, see:
www.medgo.com
or
www.kegelme.com
.

Enhancing Your Sexuality with “Acu-pleasure”

Acupressure may not be an aphrodisiac per se, but it can certainly boost your sexual energy. For added effects, you can use it in combination with any sex-enhancer in this chapter, or any aphrodisiac in the preceding one. The following points are recommended for increasing your sexual energy, nourishing your sexual organs, and improving the flow of chi that courses through them:
Kidney 27, Ren 15, Ren 17, Large Intestine 4, San Jiao 5, Pericardium 6, Heart 3
, and
Heart 7
. To strengthen your sexual chi, press firmly on these points for a few minutes each day. To locate them, see
Appendix A
.

Pelvic and Vaginal Self-Massage with Acupressure

You can also enhance your capacity for pleasure with pelvic and vaginal self-massage in conjunction with acupressure. Massage stimulates your circulation, brings blood and nutrients to your tissues, releases tension, and literally helps you get in touch with your body; acupressure, as noted in the accompanying sidebar, can support your chi and your sexual energy. Their combined effects can increase your sexual vitality regardless of the condition of your PC muscle, but their benefits may be especially pronounced if it has become chronically tight.

Like many women, you may have a tight PC muscle without realizing it. This can have many causes, including consistently poor posture or body mechanics, stress, giving birth, pelvic surgery, childhood injuries, pelvic trauma, or painful sexual experiences. If your PC muscle is chronically tight, no matter how much you strengthen it with Ben Wa balls and vaginal cones, you may still be unable to fully manifest your potential for sexual pleasure. Some women with this condition have decreased sexual sensation, are subject to a variety of pelvic-health issues, and feel disconnected from their sexuality. In more extreme cases, they may have chronic PC-muscle spasms, or
vaginismus
(painful contractions of the vagina), making sex difficult or impossible.

The benefits you stand to gain from pelvic and vaginal self-massage combined with acupressure—by relieving chronic PC-muscle tightness and allowing your pleasure to unfold more freely—are reflected in the teachings of Chinese medicine, which sees a chronically tight PC muscle in terms of stuck chi, or trapped energy, in your pelvis. Both massage and acupressure can help move your chi, liberating your energy for healthier, more pleasurable pelvic experiences.

Let’s look at how you can increase your capacity for pleasure—whether or not your PC muscle is chronically tight—with do-it-yourself treatments. Before getting started, familiarize yourself with the abdominal acupressure points in
Appendix A
. You’ll need a handheld mirror and massage oil, such as almond or coconut oil.

To begin, remove your clothes and lie in bed on your back, with pillows under your head and knees. Apply oil to both hands, and massage in circular strokes, gradually covering the area from your upper abdomen to your mons pubis, the soft “mound” where your pubic hair begins. Your abdominal and PC muscles are attached by connective tissues, so this can relieve tension in both. Note: Throughout this treatment, your massage technique should remain gentle, and you should feel comfortable, relaxed, and safe; refrain from touching any area if it causes discomfort. If you feel any tension or tenderness, breathe deeply, and consciously allow your tissues to relax.

Once you feel that your abdominal muscles are relaxed (this could take a few minutes), you’re ready for acupressure. Press the following points, holding each for five deep breaths, or about 30 seconds: Kidney 16, Ren 6, Ren 5, Ren 4, and Ren 3. You can press two points simultaneously, one with each hand.

After you’ve pressed each of these points, massage your hips as you did your abdomen until they, too, feel relaxed. Then roll onto your side, place the pillow between your knees so your thighs are a few inches apart, and massage your inner thighs for a few minutes. When they feel relaxed, roll onto your back and put the pillow under your knees.

Next, massage the areas where your inner thighs meet your vulva, then massage your perineum—the area between your vagina and anus. The tissue of your perineum is helpful for gauging the condition of your PC muscle, and massaging it can both relax it and relieve PC-muscle tension. (When a woman prepares for childbirth, the perineum can be stretched and made ready with massage.) Using the mirror, locate the center of your perineum, midpoint between your lower vaginal opening and your anus. This is an important acupressure point, Conception Vessel 1 (not shown in
Appendix A
)—also known as “meeting of yin,” because your body’s yin energy converges here. By pressing on it, you can release stuck chi, nourish your sexual chi, and enhance your sexual energy. Press on this point for five deep breaths, or about 30 seconds.

With your acupressure treatment now complete, gently massage your outer labia for a few minutes, then lightly caress your inner labia. Use the mirror to locate your urethra (just above your vaginal opening); you’ll want to avoid massaging it because it’s sensitive to touch. Feel the tissues of your vaginal opening, and if you’re comfortable exploring your vagina, use your finger (well lubricated) to carefully massage the tissues on both sides of your inner vaginal walls. If you discover any tight “ropey” areas, ever so gently massage them, breathe deeply, and focus your mind on releasing tension; you may notice they gradually become softer and more relaxed.

When you feel ready to finish your massage, slowly remove your finger from your vagina and massage upward toward your abdomen. Complete your treatment as you began, with a few minutes of abdominal massage. By re-massaging your abdomen after you’ve relaxed your hips, thighs, perineum, vulva, and vagina, you can further relax your abdomen and PC muscle.