Great Sex, Naturally (31 page)

—
Honey.
Although some native cultures have long believed that honey enhances sexuality, a chemical agent with specific aphrodisiac properties hasn’t yet been found in it. In addition to sugars, some types of honey contain beneficial vitamins, minerals, enzymes, amino acids, and other ingredients. If you consume honey, remember that it’s high in sugar; use it in moderation to keep your blood-sugar level stable—a plus for your long-term health and sexuality.

Minimizing
Anti-
Aphrodisiacs in Your Diet

A few dietary options deserve special attention for their potential to seriously hamper your long-term sexual health. It’s fine to indulge in these on occasion, but if you consume them regularly they may eventually catch up with you, zap your health, and create a lot of zeros for
eros
.

—
Alcohol.
Alcohol is often associated with sex because of its inhibition-reducing effects. This may promote the misleading view that decreasing your awareness with alcohol will somehow improve your sexuality. (In fact, too much alcohol lowers your sexual response and dulls your perception of pleasure, and alcohol can also negatively affect your sex hormones.) More important, alcohol is a known toxin with addictive properties. As you discovered in
Chapter 2
, you can dramatically enhance your sexuality by
de
toxing—not by “toxing” (or intoxicating). Like some other drugs, in the short run alcohol may make you feel invulnerable, but in the long run its numerous health consequences can deprive you of many of the joys of a vibrant sex life.

—
Fatty foods.
You generally want to avoid fatty foods because over the long haul they congest your liver, which can make you feel tired, heavy, lethargic, and decidedly unsexy. Of course, fatty foods also promote weight gain, which isn’t especially favorable to your overall health and libido either. The Great Sex Diet in
Chapter 2
will help you steer clear of fatty foods.

—
Sugar.
Excessive sugar intake may not only be detrimental to your sexual energy by causing your blood-sugar level to become disrupted, but may also reduce your ability to become aroused by increasing your body’s production of the stress hormone cortisol. In addition, it can compromise your production of DHEA, your pro-libido “sexy hormone.”

—
Caffeine.
Consuming too much caffeine can break down testosterone (as you’ve seen, vital to your libido) and make PMS symptoms more likely.

Conclusion: Keeping Your Natural Aphrodisiacs in Perspective

You’ve explored a varied range of natural sex-enhancers in this chapter, from herbal aphrodisiacs to flower essences, essential oils, hidden sexual scents, and nutritional tips and treasures. Some of these aphrodisiacs and enhancers are, in a sense, your natural inheritance—closely guarded secrets that were passed down to you by many generations of your ancestors. All of them can be invaluable for transforming your sexuality at any time in your life.

Whenever you use aphrodisiacs and sex-enhancers, keep in mind that their effects tend to depend on your sexual health as a whole and your total state of well-being. As you turn the page to begin a new chapter in your journey—our survey of another, more extensive category of passion-promoters and libido-lifters—remember that all aphrodisiacs and sex-enhancers are more apt to be effective if you use them in combination with everything else you’ve discovered in this book.

CHAPTER 6

ACCENTUATING
SENSUALITY

Other Sexual Secrets
with Aphrodisiac Potential

“It is the soul’s duty to be loyal to its own desires.”

—R
EBECCA
W
EST, QUOTED IN
A. L. R
OWSE’S
G
LIMPSES OF THE
G
REAT

Like many people, when you hear the word
aphrodisiac
, you probably think in terms of lotions, potions, pills, herbs, oils, aromas, nutrients, or supplements. All of the aphrodisiacs we’ve explored in the preceding chapter fit into these categories. By some broader definitions, however, the term may be used to encompass many other kinds of tools and techniques you can use to arouse desire, intensify erotic feelings, incite passion, or otherwise magnify your pleasure potential.

In this chapter, we’ll peruse pleasure-enhancers in this wider sense—an eclectic category that includes Western and Eastern approaches, embraces modern and ancient means, and ranges from down-to-earth practical solutions to mind-expanding methods of amplifying and stretching your capacity for erotic sensation. We’ll take a close look at stimulating lubricants, techniques for increasing the flow of chi to your genitals, special libido-elevating devices and procedures, tantric practices, and more. Whether any of these tools and techniques qualify as aphrodisiacs in the conventional sense may be a matter of academic opinion. In any event, many of them can certainly have aphrodisiac-like qualities, and you may find that their effects unquestionably establish them as major sex-boosters.

As with conventional aphrodisiacs, the sex-enhancers in this category are likely to be most effective when you have abundant health—for example, if you’ve applied the techniques in
Chapter 1
for maximizing your mental and spiritual well-being, as well as the other lifestyle recommendations in
Chapter 2
. Your health itself, as we pointed out in
Chapter 5
, can be a potent aphrodisiac.

At the same time, the pleasure facilitators we’ll explore in this chapter, like the aphrodisiacs in the previous chapter, can help to transform your sex life regardless of whether you currently feel a need to recharge your sexual energy or you already have a robust libido and would like to further stimulate it. Either way, the tools and techniques you’ll discover in the pages ahead have the potential to play an important role in enhancing your sexual health and libido.

Sexual Lubricants and Stimulants

As we shift our focus to sexual lubricants of all kinds, it’s worth noting that this group of enhancers dovetails perfectly with the category of aphrodisiacs we’ve explored thus far. Any of the enhancers in the preceding chapter, by stimulating your libido, can increase your need for sexual lubricants.

In turn, the sexual lubricants you use can further promote your pleasure in a variety of ways. Some serve as gentle enhancers and “indirect aphrodisiacs” by moistening your vaginal and vulvar tissues, mimicking and multiplying the effects of your body’s own natural lubrication and allowing you to have sex that feels relatively friction-free. There are lots of lovely lubricants in this group to choose from.

Another class of sexual lubricants can be described as “extrasensual enhancers”—agents that can induce arousal and augment sexual pleasure. These act as aphrodisiacs in a more direct way. They simulate the effects of your body’s natural lubrication while at the same time further stimulating pleasure through other means; this ability to simultaneously simulate and stimulate makes them unique among pleasure-enhancers.

Any sexual lubricant you use should be as natural and healthy as possible, because the receptive mucous membranes of your vagina and vulva can easily absorb their ingredients into your body. Examine their ingredients as carefully as the foods you eat; some products presented as natural and healthy include synthetic or toxic compounds that could undermine your health. Many synthetic lubricants contain chemicals first designed for use on automobiles or in oven cleaners, so it’s no surprise that some women experience unpleasant reactions. The following is a short list of ingredients to
avoid
putting on your sensitive genital tissues:

—
Parabens.
Parabens are synthetic preservatives that can be absorbed through your skin. They can mimic estrogen in your body, and may be linked to increased risk of breast cancer.

—
Petroleum or petroleum-derived ingredients.
Whenever possible, refrain from using products with petroleum-based ingredients, including multipurpose lubricants like Vaseline petroleum jelly, on your genitals. They may contain impurities linked to cancer and other health conditions; they can also coat your skin, impeding its normal functions and not allowing it to “breathe.”

—
Silicone oils.
Silicone oils may have toxic side effects, and as with petroleum-based products, they may coat your skin, affecting its normal functions and permeability. Silicone can have many names on product labels, including
dimethicone, highly polymerized methyl polysilozane, methyl polysiloxane, mirasil DM 20
, and
viscasil 5M
.

—
Phenoxyethanol.
At high concentrations, phenoxyethanol can be harmful if absorbed through your skin, cause reproductive damage, and according to the FDA, depress the central nervous system in newborns. The breakdown of phenoxyethanol in your body releases phenol, which can adversely affect your immune system. The Environmental Working Group (EWG), a nonprofit research organization, lists phenoxyethanol as a moderate hazard, with possible links to toxicity and skin irritation. Although it’s found in very low concentrations in some sexual lubricants, you’d do best to keep away from it—especially when many products without it are available.

—
Glycerin and glucose.
As sugars, glycerin and glucose may feed
candida
, a yeast that’s normally present in small amounts in the healthy vagina, but which can proliferate and cause vaginal yeast infections in women prone to them.

—
Propylene glycol.
Propylene glycol may cause burning or tissue irritation in some women. Astroglide, a common over-the-counter lubricant, contains this ingredient.

—
Chlorhexidine.
An ingredient in some multipurpose lubricants, such as K-Y jelly, chlorhexidine can be irritating to some women.

Even if you haven’t had problems with synthetic lubricants, using natural products can make a difference in your sex life. In the pages that follow you’ll explore some lubricants we’ve found, both moistening and extra-stimulating, that claim to be more or less natural, and we’ll compare their pros and cons. Not all are recommended; as you’ll discover, some contain ingredients you may want to avoid. Manufacturers sometimes change ingredients in their products—some lubricants that seem appealing now could later became problematic, or vice versa—so you need to stay vigilant and make sure the products you use remain beneficial. (And refrain from using anything if you are allergic to any of its ingredients, or your partner is, or if it causes either of you any discomfort.)

Sex-Facilitating Lubricants

The lubricants in this group not only facilitate sex by replicating the effects of your body’s natural lubrication—most have a distinctly “slippery” quality conducive to pleasurable sex—but many also hydrate your vulvar and vaginal tissues, which can provide additional long-term benefits for your sexual health. (However, you can enhance pleasure by using sexual lubricants regardless of whether you need to relieve vaginal dryness.)

—
Aloe Cadabra.
This delightful, primarily organic lubricant contains 95 percent aloe vera gel, which makes it both an effective sexual lubricant and, if used on a daily basis, helpful for keeping your vulvar and vaginal tissues well nourished, healthy, and moisturized. It also contains vitamin E oil, xanthan (a natural food-grade gum), citric acid, trace amounts of potassium sorbate (a natural food-grade preservative), and sodium benzoate (another common food preservative). Aloe Cadabra is water based, latex-friendly, and available in three blends: Natural Aloe, Tahitian Vanilla, and French Lavender.