Authors: Ivy Sinclair
That was the man that she had fallen in love with.
She looked at her reflection in the mirror, and let herself say the words out loud.
“I love him.”
Millie knew what she had to do. She made her way down to the kitchen, careful to avoid any of the party guests. On the pegboard next to the door were all of the keys for the Willoughby vehicles. She grabbed the keys for Kate’s car and snuck out into the night. She had to find Sam.
He sat on the bed in his nondescript hotel room in his pajama bottoms and stared at the television. He didn’t recall turning it on or what he was even watching. A half-empty bottle of whiskey sat on the bedside table, and he took another swallow letting the liquid burn down the back of his throat. It was the only thing he let himself feel.
Sam tried to focus on the script notes for the next day, but the ache in his jaw kept reminding him of what had just happened. He had a feeling that the make-up crew was going to have their work cut out for them the next day. He could already see the shadow of a bruise popping up under his skin, and wondered how he was going to explain it to Lee. With his luck, a video of Josh knocking him on his ass would show up on YouTube.
Sam kept a towel with ice braced against his jaw and tried to empty his mind once again. What he wanted to do was drink himself into a drunken stupor, drift off into unconsciousness and not wake up for days, but shooting started early the next morning. The only thing he had left now was his work, and he couldn’t let what happened interfere with that. Victoria’s advice about no distractions now made perfect sense. Sam was definitely distracted.
The light knock on his door pulled him out of his dark thoughts. He looked at the clock and saw that it was after midnight. He wasn’t expecting anyone. Slipping off the bed, he made his way to the door and looked through the peephole. His breath caught in his throat when he recognized the person on the other side. He opened the door quickly, wondering if she was just a phantom about to vanish before his eyes.
Millie stood there, pale and resolute. He noted that she hadn’t changed since the party, and he thought that she had never looked lovelier. There was
an incandescence to her skin that he had never seen before.
“What are you…
”
Millie stepped through the door and stopped his words with a kiss. He didn’t think. He pulled her hard against him and slammed the door shut behind her. He felt the urgency burning in her kiss, and he understood. It had been too long, and they both had been denied too much.
Her hands danced over his bare chest, and he felt tingles of heat burst out from everywhere that her fingertips touched. Her lips parted, and his tongue darted into her mouth. He groaned as he tasted her. He had forgotten how much he craved that part of her. If he had learned anything in shooting the scenes with Delaney, it was truly differentiating between what was real and what was fiction. When he had the woman he loved in his arms, pressed against him, the intensity of the emotions threatened to overwhelm him.
Millie pushed him to the bed and then into a sitting position before moving herself between his legs. Her eyes studied his with an unspoken question. He didn’t say anything else. He would do whatever she asked as long as she stayed with him. He was hers, and however he could have her he would take it. He let her fingertips gently explore his jaw, and he saw her slight grimace. It was worth the pain though when she leaned over and placed several feathered kisses across his jawline as if she wanted to wipe the pain away.
Her lips moved to his mouth, and although he wanted her badly, he followed her lead. She kissed him softly, again running her fingers down his neck and chest. The light, teasing touches drove him mad, but he let her explore him. He twitched to touch her, but as he brought his hands up, she batted them away, seemingly intent on being in control.
She pushed him back slightly and he braced himself on the bed watching her. She reached behind her, and he heard the zipper of her dress begin its descent. The top of her dress slid down her shoulders, and as more of her cleavage was exposed, Sam saw that she wore nothing underneath. His pulse quickened. He couldn’t resist bending forward and catching one of her hardened nipples in his mouth.
This time, Millie didn’t stop him. Eagerly, he cupped her other breast in his hand. They felt fuller than he remembered, and as he traced nub’s outline nipping gently on the tip, he heard Millie’s gasp. It was a sound that he had desperately missed.
His arms slid around her and he completed the zipper’s journey to the end before pushing the silky fabric down over her hips. It was forgotten before it even hit the floor. He grazed the skin of her bellybutton and enjoyed the feel of her bottom in his hands. He grasped her waist and brought her down into his lap. Her hair brushed the tops of his shoulders, and he shivered in delight at the feel of Millie’s body against him. He found her lips again, and he kissed her more urgently now.
Folding her against him, he flipped her over so that she was underneath him. He loved having her long body pressed against him, and his hands caressed her from her lovely face all the way down to her knees. Her skin was so soft that it made him want to touch her everywhere at once.
As he moved down her body, he glided his fingers down her stomach and just barely touched that most sensitive part of her. She squirmed beneath him as he teased her. Kneeling on the floor between her legs, he let his tongue slide up her inner thigh, and he pushed slightly to widen her stance. When he found the core of her silken folds, he heard her moan softly. It was music to his ears. He knew exactly how she liked that tight bud of nerves to be nibbled and teased, and his practiced tongue went to work until he felt her hips begin to buck even as he held her bottom in place. He wasn’t about to let her get away.
His own desire was starting to become too much to hold back, and Sam wanted nothing more than to be inside of her. He slid off his pajama bottoms and crawled back up her body, nipping and tasting her feverish skin the whole way. Her eyes were closed when he claimed her mouth again. His fingers slipped inside of her to make sure that she was as ready as he was.
Millie arched against him, and he knew that it was time. He moved between her legs, and as he drove inside of her, her eyes opened. He cupped her chin, determined to keep her present with him. She bit her lower lip and he kissed her, teasing her teeth away from her plump skin.
Her nails dug into the flesh of his shoulders, but he didn’t care if she marked him. He was hers, and he wanted her to be his. His thrusts grew in intensity, and Millie cried out just before he felt the wave of his orgasm seize him in its grasp. Still he held her close to him, afraid more than ever now to let her go.
“I meant it. I love you,” he murmured in her ear.
“Shhhh,” was her only reply. Then she kissed him gently. “No talking,” she whispered. “Just make love to me, Sam.”
He was more than happy to oblige.
The first rays of dawn outlined the curtains of the room. Millie was still awake. Sam slept beside her, having fallen asleep shortly after their last round of lovemaking. She slipped out of bed and went into the bathroom. Splashing some cold water on her face, she wondered if she could go through with it.
Although she insisted on silence, Sam reaffirmed his love for her time and time again. It was as if he were terrified that she wouldn’t believe him. She did believe him, but as she looked at herself in the mirror and clasped her hands over her stomach, she thought about how much more complicated things were now.
Knowing that Sam loved her should have made things easier. In the cold morning light, she questioned everything. He was a budding young actor on the verge of having a breakout role in a movie that was going to make him famous. Being an actor meant travel and living in the spotlight. Was that the life that she wanted for herself? Was that the kind of life she wanted for her baby?
There were too many things to think about, and that was why even though she thought that she heard the plea for a reply in Sam’s voice every time he told her how he felt about her, she couldn’t bring herself to say the words back.
Unlike Sam, Millie had said the words too many times when she was younger. It was as if she was tried replacing the emptiness in her life with men destined to break her heart. That was before she wizened up and realized that the only person she could truly trust to make her happy was herself. She adopted her no commitment rule when it came to men, and it seemed to work well for a long time.
It was obvious to her that until now she had no idea what love actually meant. As much as she wanted to give in and take that chance with Sam, she had to be smart about things. She wasn’t making decisions for just herself anymore.
It was on the tip of her tongue to tell Sam about the baby, but something held her back. It was still too soon. She was afraid that he would do something drastic like quit the film to be with her or even ask her to marry him. Sam was old-fashioned that way, and although she loved him, she didn’t know if she was ready for anything like that. She was barely getting used to the idea that she was going to be a mother.
She saw the irony in the situation. Non-committal Millie was now being thrust into the biggest commitment of them all. She had no idea if she even had a maternal bone in her body. Her mother had been a shoddy role model. But as she caressed her stomach and felt the slightest bump there, she thought that she would give it her best shot. Millie didn’t know how to do it any other way.
Tiptoeing back into the bedroom, Millie quickly got dressed. Then she pulled the envelope from her purse. It was a letter she wrote before she left the Willoughby in search of him. She hoped that he would understand. It was the best way.
She put the envelope on the pillow next to him. When Sam shuffled in his sleep, she backed up quickly. The tears were already starting to fall, but this time, Millie didn’t view it as a sign of weakness. Closure was always painful.
Millie cracked the door and slipped out into the morning light.
When Sam woke, he stretched out to pull Millie close to him. When his hands found nothing but cool sheets all around him, he sat up in alarm. Although he could still smell her perfume, the room had a feeling of emptiness. He knew immediately that she was gone.
He saw the envelope on the pillow next to him.
“No,” he said. He couldn’t believe it. He picked it up and turned it over and over. He didn’t want to read it, but he knew that he had to. He ripped the envelope open and tugged the single piece of paper out. Then he began to read the dainty words written on the page.
Sam-
I believed you when you said you loved me. Thank you for letting me feel that the time we spent together wasn’t a waste of time. I might not understand your life, but I see now that whatever is going on will help you and your movie be successful, and that’s all I’ve ever wanted for you. You were meant to be a star.
As much as I care about you, what I can’t get past is what I told you that last night we were together. We are so different, and our paths are taking us to different places. Yours is going straight up into the stars, and mine is to a place of security and stability. You have a bright future, and I don’t want to ever feel like I’m the one holding you back. That wouldn’t be fair to either one of us.
I care about you and I always will, but please, go do what you were always meant to do. Our friendship has given us both a gift, and someday, you may understand what that means. But for now, I’m asking you to let it go. Let me go so that we can both be happy. If you are truly my friend, you will respect my wishes.
Millie
Sam crumpled the letter and threw it on the ground. Then he started to get dressed. He didn’t care what Millie thought was right. He wasn’t about to let her go. Not this time.
They were halfway to DC when Josh handed her a piece of paper. It was a print out of an itinerary for a flight later that afternoon from DC back to New York, and it had her name on it
She looked at him in surprise. “What’s this?”
“It’s your ticket off this crazy ride,” Josh said.
“What you are talking about? I’m ready for this presentation tomorrow. I’ve got it all down. You can’t kick me off it now,” Millie protested.
“It doesn’t have anything to do with that,” Josh said. “Dad and I have been riding you hard the last few weeks, and you took every bit of it. I have no doubt that if you went into that meeting tomorrow, you’d be a star. You are a St. John after all.”
“Then what’s the problem?”
“The problem is that your heart isn’t in this,” Josh said simply. He shook his head. “I was being stubborn and not listening to you before, and I’m sorry.”
Millie didn’t know what to say. Although part of her thought that she should protest further, at the same time she knew that he was right. Taking a job with her father’s company wasn’t what she wanted to do with the rest of her life. “What about Dad?”
Josh waved a hand. “I’ll take care of Dad. I actually think he was surprised that you showed up for work a few weeks ago. I don’t know what you said to him, but he was convinced that you were going to be the next Vincent Van Gogh.”