Authors: Kim Fielding
“Want to go out for dinner?” Austin asked. “I have my list, but I need some help implementing it.”
For a moment Austin was sure Ben was going to decline. But then Ben squared his shoulders slightly and nodded. “Sure. Give me about thirty minutes, all right?”
“No problem. I can sweep.”
He swept and then straightened up a pile of canvas tarps. By the time he finished, Ben was waiting for him near the factory entrance.
“Where to this time?” Ben asked. “It’s my turn to pick up the bill.”
“But I’m the one taking up your time.”
Ben shrugged. “My time’s not all that valuable. So… where?”
“If you’re paying, you should choose.”
“Yeah.” Ben made a face. “Except I don’t really know that many places.”
“But I thought you’d lived here a long time.”
“I have. But I don’t go out often. And when I do… well, it’s never anyplace hip. No bear bars with great onion rings.”
Ben seemed slightly upset and embarrassed for reasons Austin didn’t understand. Deciding not to push it, he offered an easy grin. “Hip places are so yesterday anyway. Want to eat at the deli where I work part-time?”
Seemingly relieved, Ben smiled back. “Sounds great.”
Due to the embarrassing mess in his car, Austin suggested separate vehicles again. He warned Ben that parking near the deli might be a challenge. “I’m just gonna stash the car over at my place and walk over. It won’t take me long.”
And even though it didn’t take long, by the time Austin got to Rosenberg’s, Ben was standing outside, looking slightly nervous. He relaxed when he caught sight of Austin.
Dinner wasn’t an especially busy time at the deli, so they got a table right away. Gopal ambled over with menus. “Can’t get enough of the place, huh, Austin?”
“Nope. And my friend Ben’s never been here.”
Placing his hand over his heart, Gopal pretended to be shocked. “Well, that’s terrible! I’m glad you’re enlightening him.” He winked and walked away.
“Is that your boss?” Ben asked when Gopal was gone.
“Yep.”
“He seems like a nice guy.”
“He is. I like working for him.”
Ben tilted his head slightly. “But not full time?”
“He doesn’t have a full-time gig available. And even if he did, waiting tables isn’t my favorite thing. I prefer selling stuff.”
That made Ben grin. “Excellent! If you know what you want to be when you grow up, that’ll make our job easier.”
Austin had never thought of it that way, maybe because he’d never really considered retail sales a career. It wasn’t the kind of thing people boasted about or parents gushed over—not like being a doctor, a lawyer, a teacher. But he liked interacting with people, and even if selling shoes or cell phones wasn’t likely to bring about world peace, he enjoyed seeing a satisfied customer.
At Austin’s urging, Ben ordered borscht, cheese blintzes, and a knish. It made for an odd dinner, maybe, but Austin had the impression that Ben had never eaten any of those things. “If you don’t like ’em, I’ll swap you my brisket sandwich. But you’ll like them.”
Although Ben seemed hesitant when his food first arrived, after a few bites, he dug in enthusiastically. “This is great,” he said before shoving a forkful of blintz into his mouth.
“I know. And it’s probably good I don’t work here often, because I’d eat more of the food and then I’d be enormous. God, the latkes alone would do me in.”
“But you’re pretty fit. You must work out a lot.” For some reason, Ben blushed a little when he said that.
“Eh. My apartment complex has a gym. I don’t spend as much time there as I used to.” He took a closer look at Ben, who was thin but not skinny. Possibly even wiry underneath that white button-down and khakis; it was hard to tell. “How about you?”
“I run. Not marathons or anything. Just a couple miles before I go to work.”
Wow. That must mean he got up very early. Austin shuddered at the thought. “Well, maybe you have good genes or something,” he said. “’Cause you look like you’re in pretty good shape.” He ignored the odd way Ben gaped at him. Sometimes he just didn’t understand the guy at all.
After they’d cleared their plates and Gopal brought them coffee—decaf for Ben—Austin dug out the list. “Hey! I get to cross something off!” He drew a line through
register to vote
, which was very satisfying. “Took care of that last night.”
“Good! And now that you’re registered, make sure you actually vote.”
Austin gave him a jaunty salute. “So help me out with this career thing, will you? I guess that’s urgent.”
“What’s to help, Austin? You know what kind of job you want and you know how to apply for those kinds of positions.”
“Yeah.” Austin began making accordion pleats in his empty sugar packet. Then he balanced his straw wrapper on top of it, fussing with the placement as if he were creating art. “But how do I keep from screwing up and losing the job once I get it?”
“Ah. So the list item should be
keep a job
.”
The little paper sculpture lacked something, so Austin added Ben’s straw wrapper. “You’ve worked for Sam forever. So I guess you never had my problem.”
“It’s the only job I’ve ever had.”
Austin snapped his gaze up. “Seriously?”
“Sam hired me when I was still a kid and didn’t have any real qualifications. But… he believed in me. God, you have no idea how important that was. He helped pay my way through community college, and then when I got my bachelor’s degree, he trusted me enough to make me his office manager. He’s… your dad’s a great man, Austin.” He said it with the same fervor a person might have for his heroes.
It was weird to realize that someone saw Sam that way. He was just… just Dad, right? “I wish I could make him believe in me,” Austin said quietly.
Ben awkwardly patted his hand. “He will. He wants to. Just steady yourself a little.”
“Steady myself.” Austin knew what that meant, at least in the current context. “No more clubbing, huh?”
“Not on work nights. Not if it means you’re trashed in the morning.”
They sat silently over their coffee for a while. After Gopal poured them refills, Austin dumped in more sugar and added the empty packet to his masterpiece.
“Can I… ask you something?” Ben said hesitantly.
“Sure. Ask away.”
“Why do you go out so often and stay out so late? Especially when you know you have to work the next day?”
“Because it’s fun,” Austin replied, but he knew his answer lacked conviction. It
used
to be fun, once upon a time. He’d go out with his buddies, get wasted, get laid, and he wouldn’t give a shit about the next day. But a good chunk of his friends had stopped heavy partying when they got real jobs or partners. Nowadays getting wasted just made him feel sick in the morning. And as for getting laid, well… an orgasm was a good thing, but lately after he’d come, he’d mostly felt used and a little empty.
He sighed. “Habit, maybe.”
“So start a new habit. Do something else in the evenings. Something that will get you into bed at a reasonable hour.”
The strangest thing happened then. As soon as the words were out of Ben’s mouth, Austin pictured himself sitting up in bed, reading a book. Which he never did. But he also pictured Ben sitting beside him in that bed, his chest bare but his thick-rimmed glasses still perched on his nose. Ben was reading too. Until he put down the book, clicked off the light, and slid close to Austin.
‘Night, Oz
, said the imaginary Ben before giving him a squeeze.
“Are you all right?” asked Ben—the real Ben in Rosenberg’s, not the imaginary one warming Austin’s bed.
Austin realized he was blinking rapidly. “Yeah. Sorry. Just sorta had a brain meltdown.”
They continued talking for a while after that. Although most of the items on the list were moot until Austin was gainfully employed, Ben nonetheless gave him a few tips and strategies. He was in the midst of discussing investment plans when he yawned. “Sorry! I guess it’s getting late for me. I’m boring. No late-night clubbing.”
“You could, you know. Come with us, I mean. On a weekend,” Austin added hastily.
But Ben looked shocked and slightly horrified. “Uh… thanks. But… no. Thanks.”
Austin decided to push, just a little, maybe to chase that odd bedtime vision from his mind. “Why not?”
“C’mon. Can you really picture me in a club?” Ben gestured at his own clothes.
“You could borrow something a little flashier from me.”
“And I’d still feel like a huge idiot. I don’t know how to dance, I don’t drink, I… I’m not great with strangers. Definitely not my scene, Austin.”
Austin refrained from asking what his scene was.
After Ben paid the bill and told a beaming Gopal how much he’d enjoyed the meal, he and Austin ventured out into the chilly night air. “Can I give you a ride home?” Ben asked. He must have had good parking karma, because his Camry was just down the block.
At first Austin was going to refuse. But why should he? His place probably wasn’t too far out of the way. “Thanks,” he said.
Not surprisingly, the interior of Ben’s car was immaculate. No fast-food bags, no scattered coins or dead pens, no mud on the floor mats. Not even any dust on the dashboard. Probably Austin should add
Keep my car cleaner than a toxic waste dump
to his list. Ben even had one of those air-freshener things shaped like a Christmas tree, although this one smelled like piña colada and so should have been shaped like a pineapple instead.
“What’s the sigh for?” Ben asked as he turned a corner.
“Air fresheners.”
“Um… okay.”
Austin drummed his fingers on his knee. “It just seems like there’s so much stuff I have to deal with. It’s a little overwhelming.”
Ben’s voice was quiet. “Growing up always is, whenever it happens.”
“How old were you?”
After a pause, Ben said, “Eight.” And before Austin could ask what he meant, Ben stopped the car. “Is this it?”
“No, it’s the ugly complex in the next block. But you can drop me off here.”
Ben didn’t, though. He drove the final yards slowly and then double-parked next to a white pickup.
“I’d invite you in, but the place is kind of a dump. And my roomies… well, I found the place on Craigslist and they’re not axe murderers, so I guess that’s cool.”
“It’s okay,” Ben said. “I need to get home anyway. See you tomorrow?”
Austin thought for a minute. “No, tomorrow I work at the deli. And then it’s the weekend, so… see you Monday. Unless I get another job by then.”
He wished someone would hand him a guide to interpreting Ben’s expressions. All Austin could tell about the current one was that it didn’t look happy, not even when Ben tried a small smile. “Yeah, sure. Good luck.”
Austin climbed out of the car but hesitated before shutting the door. He was reluctant to say good-bye, although he didn’t know why. Ben wasn’t rushing him to get lost, but he could only stand there in the middle of the street for so long, and he finally gave a lame little wave. “So, thanks for dinner and advice and the ride. Have a good weekend.” He slammed the door and waited for Ben to drive off, then trudged over to his place. He couldn’t help wondering what Ben would be doing over the weekend, even though it was none of his goddamn business.
He was in the middle of unlocking the front door when his phone buzzed, but he didn’t glance at the text right away. First he went inside, waved to Rob over on the couch, and detoured to the kitchen for water—miraculously finding a clean glass. Only when he was sitting on the unmade bed in his room did he look at the screen. It was Randy, asking him to go out.
Not tonight
, Austin typed.
Stop playing hard 2 get. U know u wanna.
Austin almost gave in. He didn’t have to show up for work especially early the next day. But then it occurred to him: he didn’t want to go clubbing. Never mind the cost of drinks and maybe a cover charge and likely a cab, none of which he could afford right now. He just wasn’t into going out.
Sorry. Not tonight
. He put the phone away and started sorting his dirty laundry instead.
Chapter Six
O
N
F
RIDAY
he had to work a split shift at the deli. Split shifts sucked, but because his apartment wasn’t too far away, he was willing to do them. That was one of the reasons Gopal kept him on the payroll despite his frequent tardiness. In any case, he was on time for his lunch shift and relatively bright-eyed and bushy-tailed after getting a decent night’s sleep. No hangover either, which was nice for a change. The deli was busy and he earned some good tips.
After the rush ebbed away and he clocked out, he didn’t head home. Instead, he changed to a clean—unwrinkled!—shirt he’d brought with him, checked his reflection in the bathroom mirror, and hit the pavement. A lot of shops lined the street near the deli; maybe one of them was hiring.
The first few shops he poked his head into had no openings. The cute guy at the upscale pet store was looking for help, but only part-time. Which was probably just as well because Austin knew nothing about animals; he’d never been responsible enough to manage even a goldfish. And he wasn’t sure he could handle selling tiny Chihuahua jackets that cost more than his car.
He hit pay dirt, though, when he got to Gifted, only three blocks from the deli. He’d shopped there before. It was one of those places that sold greeting cards, novelty gifts, collectible toys, and similar items. Basically, it specialized in fun stuff that nobody really needed.
“Hey!” said the owner, Tabby, when she saw him. “How’s it going?” She was fortyish and wiry, with cat’s-eye glasses and purple-and-black hair. She often ate at the deli, where she tipped well, endearing herself to Austin and the other waiters.
“It’s going okay. But I’m underemployed. I don’t suppose you’re hiring?”
“What about Rosenberg’s?”
“I’m only part-time there. I’m looking for something full-time too.”
She pursed her lips thoughtfully. “Do you have experience in retail?”
He leaned his elbows on the counter and grinned. “Do I have experience? Does a tiger have stripes? I’ve sold just about everything that’s legal to sell.”