Barashkukor clasped his hands behind his back. “And in your opinion, Nanny Lugbash, is your charge capable of committing the acts of which he is accused?”
“What, my dear little Nakkie?” The orc’s shawl slipped and she grabbed at it, but not before Ashnak had caught sight of a lantern jaw and corporal’s chevrons. “Of course ’e couldn’t, dearie. Never did anyone any harm, and
such
a good little orc. Always ate his meals. Ate the plate, come to that. And the dog…”
“No further questions,” Barashkukor said hastily. “I would now like to call as a further character witness Biotech-Captain Ugarit—”
“No, you wouldn’t,” Ashnak growled.
“—No, I wouldn’t. Erm.” The orc major turned on his heel. The ends of his wig flew out, swatting a halfling usher. He strode back to the desk. “I will now claim precedent!”
“’Nakkie,” indeed!” Ashnak rested his hand across his eyes as Barashkukor busied himself digging out a heap of tomes. The faint knocking of the gallows-maker’s hammer became more pronounced.
“Don’t think it’ll work,” a dubious orc voice remarked in the square outside. “That crosspiece is far too high. And look at that strut. Shoddy workmanship, I calls it.”
“Rubbish!” another orc proclaimed. “Superb piece of execution engineering.”
“Sez ’oo?”
Ashnak glanced out of the window as the work-Man stood to one side, avoiding the orcs swinging punches at each other.
“Kind of you to say so, gentlesirs.
Most
kind,” the Man said, tucking another hammer away on a loop on his carpenter’s apron. Ashnak heard the Man add under his breath, “When it comes to gallows,
everyone’s
a h’expert…”
Ashnak turned back to the courtroom as Zhazba-darabat threw his long velvet robes about him and began unearthing books from the prosecution desk. In a voice too low for the judge to catch, the dwarf growled, “I have witnessed centuries of precedent, orc. How skilled in law are you?”
“Erm…” Barashkukor shot a haunted look at Ashnak, swallowed, and hauled a book out from the bottom of his pile. “I cite the unanswerable case of
Hashbanipal Shadowtree vs. The Blue Elves
.”
The dwarf slammed a heavier tome down. “I contradict you with
Meliadis the Savage vs. Brukgug Halforc
.”
“But I quote
Bishop Filgrindibad vs. The Secret Masters of the Halls!
”
“And I return:
Mistress Shulikan vs. Dolf, Dexis, and Durundibar!
”
Barashkukor flicked back the ends of his wig, stunning another halfling, and appealed to the jury. “I therefore cite the unanswerable precedent of
Berendis vs
. All
the Elves of Thyrion!
”
Several of the jurors applauded. Those who had been glancing from Barashkukor to Zhazba-darabat rubbed their necks.
“
Alaric Bonegrinder vs. The Red Paladin Hugon!
” Zhazba-darabat cried triumphantly. “And what do you say to
that
?”
The small orc scrambled up onto the pile of books already cited, steel leg glinting, and thumbed another tome, rocking precariously. “I will answer that with—erm—with…”
“
Order!
” Magorian’s gavel crashed down. The orc sergeant in the third row glowered at the front-row grunt. Only a pair of orc ears remained visible, and they did not so much as twitch.
There was silence, apart from the growing noise of the brawl outside in the square, which seemed to have attracted a number of non-orc combatants.
“I rule those precedents out of court,” Magorian quavered. “If you think I’m going to sit here and listen to all that rubbish, you’re much mistaken. Counsel for the defence, do you have anything else to say?”
“I can’t wait,” Ashnak rumbled under his breath, his bloodshot gaze fixed on the small orc major. Behind him, Razitshakra chuckled. Ashnak looked over his muscular shoulder.
The orc marine commissar rested her elbows on the front row of the gallery. “Don’t worry, sir,” she murmured. “I’ve rigged the jury.”
Ashnak glared red-eyed at the jury box. Seven well-fed Men, an elf, two halflings, a dwarf, and a half-elf. “Those aren’t our people.”
“No, no, sir; I’ve
rigged
the jury.” Concealing her movements from the White Mages, Razitshakra briefly drew open her greatcoat. Ashnak saw that the commissar’s free hand held an M57 firing device.
“Claymore mines under the chairs, sir.”
One of the floor-cables ran across from the gallery to the jury box. Studying them, Ashnak noted beads of sweat on the foreheads of the Man and halfling jurors. Even the elf looked a little uncomfortable.
“Nice work, Commissar,” he approved.
Several shots sounded from the square, over the noise of brawling. The captain of the White Mages scowled and ordered half her force outside. She fixed Ashnak with a challenging glare. Ashnak flicked an imaginary piece of lint from his ripped combat trousers.
“My client,” Barashkukor proclaimed shrilly, “was somewhere else entirely at the time when the said atrocities were committed. M’lud, I am my own witness here—at the time in question, the general was observing my handling of a T54 Main Battle Tank in the River Faex.”
Magorian looked doubtful. “I don’t think you
can
be your own witness, counsel.”
“Oh.” The small orc’s face fell. Then he brightened. “Very well. I never did trust paperwork. I’m an orc of action, I am. Call the T54 Main Battle Tank!”
The same halfling usher flung open the door to the corridor. “
Call the T54 Main Battle Tank!
”
“
CALL THE
T54
MAIN BATTLE…
WHAT
?”
“I don’t think you can do that.” Magorian looked from the
clerk of the court to the Captain of the White Mages. “Can he do that?”
Whatever answer he received was drowned out by the grinding roar of the tank. The orc marines in the gallery cheered, banging their weapons on the floor. A grunt carrying a red flag on a stick walked in through the courtroom door.
Ashnak stood as first the gun-barrel, then the tracks, and finally the chassis of a T54 tank ground into the courtroom. Since it was not more than a few inches wider than the door, it did no more than knock large chunks out of the doorframe. The tracks ripped the tiled flooring to shreds.
The T54’s motor chugged, coughed, and idled. A broad-shouldered orc grunt in a steel helmet flipped open the lid and leaned his elbows on the hatch, one arm close to the mounted machinegun.
“Officer on deck!” Razitshakra bawled from the gallery. The orc caught sight of Ashnak and saluted rigidly. Ashnak returned the salute.
“I demand you rule this tank out of court!” Zhazba-darabat screamed.
The High King Magorian regarded the battered doorway. “
You
rule it out of court!”
The dwarf prosecutor threw all his papers up into the air in disgust. “Your Honour, I object!”
“Why?” Barashkukor asked smugly. Zhazba-darabat marched up to the small orc and glared at him, nose to nose.
“Because it isn’t even the same tank, that’s why!
Your
T54 Main Battle Tank is at the bottom of the River Faex, isn’t that right, Major?”
Flustered, the orc major muttered, “It’s a
representative
T54 Main Battle Tank.”
“No such thing!” The dwarf waved his arms, appealing to the bench. “It couldn’t testify, even if it
could
testify!”
Magorian scrubbed shaking fingers through his thinning hair. “What was that again?”
“I said—”
Uproar broke out, each citizen of Ferenzia trying to out-shout the orc marine sitting nearest him on the merits of a tank’s testimony. In vain the Order of White Mages used enhanced spells to bolster their calls for silence.
“Silence in court!” the High King Magorian’s voice cracked. “
Silence in court!
”
Ashnak raised his head. “I think I can help you there.” He snapped his fingers.
FOOOOOOOOOMMMM!
The T54’s 115mm cannon fired. The window glass imploded. A substantial section of the vaulted ceiling fell in, scattering the gallery and the floor of the court with wreckage. For a moment there was silence broken only by the moans of Men, elves, dwarves, and halflings bleeding from the ears.
Ashnak reached up and pulled a large chunk of cotton wadding from his right ear and another one from his left ear. “
That
brought the house down.”
“The smoke cleared to show High King Magorian waving his gavel in a dazed manner as he sank out of sight. “
I said silence in court, dammit
…”
Barashkukor pulled several yards of cotton wadding from his ears. The other orc marines followed suit. Barashkukor brushed debris from his horsehair wig. “M’lud, I rest my case.”
A small voice quavered from under the judge’s bench. “The jury may retire…”
Seven Men, two halflings, a dwarf, an elf, and a half-elf left their seats at a run and pelted out of the court, knocking aside the stunned mages. The Captain of the Order of White Mages signalled her Men to sit down on the jurors’ vacated chairs, and tend to their wounded.
Dakka-dakka-dakka!
“
Arrrgh!
” The body of a brawling Ferenzi Man hit the floor, blown
in
through the windows from the fight in the square.
“On second thought…” The High King Magorian scrambled into view behind the judge’s bench. “General Ashnak, I hereby pronounce you as thoroughly innocent as it’s possible to be and completely exonerated of every accusation ever brought against you. Now, or in the future. Will that do?” the old Man added, stumbling down from the bench on the arm of his elvish squire.
“That,” Ashnak said over the cheers, yowls, and automatic rifle fire of the orc marines, “will do just fine, Your Honour.”
In the square outside, over the noise of brawling, Ashnak clearly heard the gallows-builder’s yell. “What’s that you say, gentlesirs? A verdict of ‘innocent’?”
There was a pause.
“Oh,
fuck!
”
“ASH-NAK! ASH-NAK!
ASH-NAK!
”
“We did it!” Magda exclaimed, hurtling down from the gallery and into Ashnak’s embrace. He kissed the female halfling with enthusiasm.
“We did, sir, didn’t we?” Barashkukor, dazed and starry-eyed, beamed at his general. “I told you you could rely on me, sir!”
The Ferenzi citizens bolted for the exit, and the Order of White Mages did not even look up from their commandeered jury seats. A crowd of cheering orc marines lifted Ashnak and bore their commander on their shoulders out of the courtroom.
“Congratulations, sir!” Marine Commissar Razitshakra shook Barashkukor firmly by the hand. The small orc’s wig fell off. “Politically correct in every respect.”
Barashkukor weaved out of the courtroom between Razitshakra and Lieutenant Chahkamnit.
The small orc grunt in the gallery front row blinked his way back to consciousness. Staggering to his feet, he made for the door in the wake of the cheering marines. A metallic object caught his foot.
The orc bent down, picked it up, and looked at it thoughtfully. The cable trailed behind him as he stepped into the corridor, closing the doors behind him, and squeezed the device’s handle twice.
BOOOOOMMM!
“
Arrrrrgghhhhh!
”
Ashnak glanced back down the corridor at the brick dust drifting out of the courtroom. He raised his jutting eyebrows, then shook his head.
“
Yo!
” The hefty orc grunts carried Ashnak shoulder-high out into the square, where the midday sun shone on Ferenzi citizens still busy brawling. Off-duty orc marines stood and watched as if they couldn’t think what all the fuss might be about.
“
Hold!
”
Ashnak looked over the head of the crowd towards the voice. He slapped the shoulders of the marines carrying him and slid down to the cobbles, taking the clean urban combat jacket Barashkukor was holding out and putting it on.
“Honour guard, tenHUT!” he rasped. The orc grunts
around Ashnak, Magda, and Barashkukor trained their M16s on the crowd, and on the High Wizard Oderic, who forced his way through at the head of a column of mages and fighters.
“Reconvene the court,” Oderic shouted to Magorian.
The High King blinked at the sunlight, squinting in the direction of his High Wizard. “You’ve got to be joking!”
“
I have a new witness.
”
Ashnak looked at Magda, who shrugged, and at Barashkukor, who paled. The White Mages behind Oderic parted their ranks.
A shambling, hunched figure in patchwork leather robes limped forward. The temperature in the sunlit square dropped twenty degrees. The sweet scent of decay made Ashnak’s nostrils twitch.
The nameless necromancer put his hood back from his deformed face.
“I am hish witnesssh! I can vouch for your criminal actions at the halfling bombing, ‘General’ Ashnak.” The nameless smiled, yellowing tusks drawing his mouth out of shape, and wiped away a string of drool. “You and your accomplices. I have sheen it all. I wasss there!”
Ashnak put his rock-sized fists on his hips and glared under lowered brows at the nameless. His hand inched towards the gun in the back of his belt. “
That’s
contempt…”
“Sir! I say, sir!” The lanky Lieutenant Chahkamnit interrupted, marine radio in hand. “I rather think you ought to hear this, don’t you know?”
Ashnak listened.
He held the radio out so that Magorian, Oderic, and the nameless necromancer could hear the frantic broadcast:
“—
Bugs are past the southeastern suburbs of the city! Repeat, our security is compromised, we have hostiles in Ferenzia itself; the Bugs are past the southeastern suburbs of the city! All units alert!
”
“Lady of Light!” Oderic suddenly leaned on his staff, his face seeming that of a Man decades years older than his one hundred and twenty years. “How could they come on us so unprepared?”
The nameless necromancer rounded on Lieutenant Chahkamnit. “Mobilise the marines!” he ordered.
The black orc scratched uncomfortably at one peaked ear. “Awfully sorry, sir. I really don’t think I can do that.”
“
What?
”