Guilty Bastard (Grim Bastards MC #3) (2 page)

W
alking down the hall
, I see one of the brothers and a club whore coming out of one of the back rooms. They’re both disheveled, hair mussed and clothes barely on. I look closely, trying to place the brother. A smile spreads across my face as soon as I realize who it is. Rocky’s home, finally fucking home. He’s been inside for nearly six years, serving time for his part in a drug run that went bad. His homecoming explains the extra kegs I saw delivered this morning. There will be one hell of a party tonight.

The club whore says something to him, but he’s ignoring her as his fingers button his jeans. When she tries pulling on his arms, he says something that has her taking a step back. Still, she tries to get his attention for a minute more before finally giving up and walking away. A laugh bubbles up in my throat as a look of relief washes over Rocky’s face.

Shaking my head, I state the obvious. “You’re home.”

His eyes jerk to me, and a smile spreads across his lips. He opens his arms, motioning for me to come closer. “I sure am.”

It only takes a second for me to reach him, and a second later, his arms are wrapped around me. “I see you’re still leaving a trail of broken hearts behind you.”

He looks to the retreating form of the club whore and laughs. “Nothing broken there but her pride. She honestly thought I’d be so relieved to get a taste of pussy that I’d keep her around for a while. She was wrong.”

“She’s new. She thinks every brother that takes her to bed is going to claim her.” I pull out of his arms, taking a step back. “The bitch is gagging to be an old lady.”

“The whores always want a cut,” he says, reaching up to cup my face. “The good ones, they refuse when one is offered to them.”

Before he went to prison, he had me half-convinced to wear his cut. The only thing that stopped me was my feelings for Round. At the time, I knew nothing could happen between him and me. Still, it wasn’t fair to pledge myself to Rocky while I was so infatuated with Round. I was afraid of what would happen if he and his old lady split up. Lucky for me, I held my ground. If not, I wouldn’t have been sharing my life with Round for the last few years. Instead, I would have been sitting around waiting for my man to get out of prison.

This time, I take another step back, seeing the same look in his eyes that I saw years ago. “That’s not true. You’ll find a good woman one of these days.”

“Only one woman I’ve ever wanted to claim, and she didn’t want me back,” he says, his voice dropping low as he looks into my eyes. “Now, I hear that she’s gone and shackled herself to a man that refuses to claim her.”

Fuck! I should have known this was coming. Rocky knew about my feelings for Round, long before Round had any idea. He didn’t like it then, said that it would lead to nothing but heartache for me, and it sounds like he likes it even less now. It doesn’t matter, though; this is between Round and me. Rocky doesn’t get an opinion.

I shake my head, avoiding his stare. “That’s none of your business.”

“Fuck that,” he growls, glaring at me. “You’re my friend. I don’t like seeing my friend hurting. You can lie all you want, but it’s gotta sting that you’re still not wearing his cut.”

If it was anyone else saying this shit, I would be pissed. They would probably be feeling the back of my hand by now. But from Rocky, it’s coming from a good place. It’s just a place I’m not comfortable visiting right now.

Taking in a deep breath, I try to explain. “I never asked him to claim me.”

“You shouldn’t have to ask, Lisa. The fucker should be begging you to be his,” he says, crossing his arms over his chest. “I heard about Lauren, and I know he’s out of excuses. He shouldn’t be treating you like a bed warmer. You are worth more than that. You know you are.”

His words are like a slap in the face, reminding me of my place in Round’s life. I should say, my lack of a true place in his life. For the first few years I was in his bed, I understood his reluctance to make anything official. At least, I tried to pretend to understand. He had an old lady and refused to leave her, even though they never shared a bed. Hell, they hardly even talked.

He said he didn’t want to put his kids through a divorce. It didn’t seem to matter that his kids were grown, and his old lady spent most of her time with her lover. Even as time passed, he never mentioned cutting Lauren loose. Nothing mattered but pretending all was good between the two of them.

When his daughter died, he gave up all pretense of a relationship with Lauren. He hardly ever went home, never even bothered checking in with her. Instead, he started talking about telling his other kids his marriage was over. Even though he never came right out and said it, I assumed he meant to take me as his old lady after cutting Lauren loose.

Then, before that could happened, his wife was in a car accident. She died instantly, and he quit talking about making me his old lady. I didn’t expect him to claim me right away; no way would he trash her memory like that. When he moved me in with him, I figured he would claim me soon after, but I was wrong. He never even mentioned it. Even after all these years, I am no closer to being his than I was the first time we made love.

“Please don’t, Rocky,” I whisper, trying to hide the pain from my voice. “I don’t want to talk about this right now. Just let me enjoy having my friend home.”

He’s quiet for a second, before nodding his head. “Okay, sweet thing. Let’s go grab a beer and catch up.”

I paste on a smile and wrap my arm around his waist. “Let’s skip the beer and grab a bottle of Jack instead.”

As soon as I turn around, my eyes land on Round’s son walking toward us. Smoke is staring at Rocky, a look I can’t quite name on his face. He stops a few feet from us, looking from Rocky to me then back again.

Rocky slings an arm over my shoulders and says, “Hey, VP. My friend and I are gonna go grab a drink. Wanna join us?”

Smoke shakes his head, his dark eyes resting on me. “No, I gotta talk to Dad.”

Feeling the weight of Rocky’s arm, guilt swamps me. I jerk away and mumble, “We were just catching up.”

The words have barely left my mouth, when Smoke’s eyes soften. “I know you were.”

A minute ago, having a drink alone with Rocky seemed completely innocent. Now, it feels totally wrong. It almost seems like I’m betraying Round in some way, like I would be cheating on him. It doesn’t matter that it will be nothing more than two friends catching up; it could look like two old lovers reconnecting.

“Are you sure you don’t want to join us?” I ask, chewing on my bottom lip. “Surely, you have time for a drink.”

“Maybe later.” Smoke shakes his head and smiles. “Go have some fun. You deserve it. When I get done with my shit, I may join you.”

“Are you sure?” I ask, still worrying my lip.

“I’m sure, Lisa.” With that, he walks away.

Before I can even process his words, Rocky grabs my arm and leads me down the hall. “You heard the VP. It’s time to have some fun.”

S
wallowing
the last of my beer, I hold up the empty bottle and motion for the prospect to bring me a fresh one. Just as the bottle is set on the table in front of me, Smoke sits down across the table and grabs it. One side of his lips tip up as he lifts it to his mouth.

I shake my head at my son and lift my hand to the prospect. “Bring me another and don’t let me go dry again.”

“Lisa’s making her pot roast tonight,” he says as he sets the bottle down and leans back in his chair. “She told me to be there around six.”

My woman can cook. When she stayed at the club, she kept all the boys fed. Now that she’s at home with me, half of them end up at our dinner table every night. Even if none of the others show up, we can usually count on Smoke. She doesn’t seem to mind, though. Hell, I think she likes having them there more than I do.

“Yeah, she’s also making peach cobbler, so I’d get there earlier.” Lifting my chin, I grab the beer from the prospect. “If not, one of the brothers will be there eating it all before she even gets it to the table.”

Smoke leans forward, placing his forearms on the table. “I’ll be there at five, but tell those fuckers to lay off my food.”

I let out a chuckle and nod. “I’ll do my best.”

My son stares at me for a second, losing his smile. “She’s been living in your house for nearly a year now. Hell, she’s the only woman you’ve let near you since Mom died. If we’re being honest, she’s the only one that’s been near you long before that. Don’t you think it’s about damn time you claim her?”

My heart starts to pound as sweat pops up on my forehead. This is the third time I’ve had this discussion this week. Every fucking brother in the club wants me to know he’s waiting in the background for my woman. Either I claim her, or someone else will. Being my son, I didn’t expect to get shit from Smoke, not considering his mom died less than a year ago. She was killed instantly when her tire hit a patch of ice, sending her car rolling off the road.

I figured he’d be pissed at me for replacing his mother, especially so damn soon. He doesn’t know the hell my marriage was or what a bitch Lauri could be, though. She was a hell of a mother, always doing anything she could for her kids, but wasn’t so great at being a wife.

“I already had one old lady. I ain’t looking for another one,” I reply, taking another drink of my beer.

As much as I care for Lisa, that shit isn’t going to happen. Once a woman is claimed, she changes. She can be sweet as hell and wild in bed, then in the blink of an eye, the woman you know is gone. Doesn’t matter if you are putting a ring on her finger or a cut on her back, she becomes someone else. I’m not going down that road again.

“Rocky’s back. He wants her, Dad. He’s wanted her for years. If you don’t claim her, he’s going to make her his,” Smoke tells me, leaning back in his chair again. “I don’t want to see you lose her, just because you’re being so damn stupid.”

Anger pulses through me at the thought of Rocky laying his hands on Lisa. He’s a good brother, took a hit for the club and kept his mouth shut. He’s a few years older than Smoke, nearly a decade younger than Lisa. Still, he’s wanted her since the day he started prospecting.

Who could blame him? She’s fucking beautiful. She may not be as young as most of the bitches, but she’s hotter than any of them. Her long black hair and sexy as hell body would be enough to bring any man to his knees. She has the kind of lips every man dreams of, but it’s her eyes that hooked me. It’s not the dark mocha color, but how they make you feel when you look into them. They pull you in. It’s like her eyes look straight into your soul, and you want them to. You want those eyes on you and on no one else.

For a while, I thought Rocky would claim her. He sure in the hell tried. She refused, though, letting him know they would never be more than friends. That ain’t gonna change now, no fucking way. She’s mine, and she knows it. So does he. If that shit happens, I’ll kill them both.

“He knows better,” I grumble, slamming my beer down on the table. “He wouldn’t do that shit to me. Even if he did, Lisa wouldn’t let him near her.”

Taking another drink of his beer, my son shakes his head. “If Rocky thought you wanted her for more than just pussy, he wouldn’t. Considering she’s been in your bed for years and you still haven’t claimed her, he won’t see an issue.”

“If he wants her, he can have her.” My anger grows to pure fury as I stand up, knocking my chair to the ground.

Smoke merely shakes his head again, not realizing how close he is to having his ass kicked. “He will if you don’t smarten the fuck up. If not Rocky, one of the other brothers will lay claim to her before long.”

Something about his words causes any common sense I have to disappear. “They’ve all had her before. Why should now be any different?”

Even as the words leave my mouth, I regret them. Lisa may have started off as a club whore, but she hasn’t lived that life for a long fucking time. She quit long before I took her to bed. Instead, she took care of the girls, not letting in junkies to work the club. She protected the brothers without being asked to.

“Fuck, Dad,” Smoke growls out, narrowing his eyes at me. “Think about what the hell is coming out of your mouth.”

He’s right, and I know it. Lisa’s a good woman, not deserving the shit that I’m saying about her. She’s been running the clubhouse for over four years now, making sure the place stays clean and there is always food to eat. She does more than most of the old ladies to make sure shit gets done around here.

Still, I’m too angry to stop now. “She’ll never be my old lady. You should know by now, boy… you don’t make a whore an old lady.”

A second later, a familiar hand lands on my arm. I jerk my head to the side, to see Lisa standing beside me with tears in her beautiful brown eyes. My stomach starts to roll with regret, wishing I could take back everything I just said. Instead of doing just that, I stand there and look at her like an idiot.

“It’s okay, Round,” she says, blinking away the tears. “I never expected you to make me your old lady. I’m used to being your whore anyway. That’s the way it’s always been and I didn’t expect that to change.”

Before I can utter a word, Lisa turns to look at Smoke and plasters a smile on her face. “Are you still coming by for dinner?”

“I wouldn’t miss it. You know how much I love your pot roast,” Smoke replies, the anger at me still easily heard in his voice.

Lisa keeps the smile on her face as she turns back to me. She goes to her tiptoes and places a feather light kiss against my lips. Without another word, she walks away. Just as she opens the door to walk out, I call out her name. Her step falters for a second, but she never looks back as she steps outside.

M
y tears are still falling
as I pull into the driveway of Round’s house. His words keep replaying in my head over and over again—whore, whore, whore—as I cut my engine. My fingers tighten around the steering wheel as pain makes its way through my body.

I knew Round was going to break my heart, always knew it would happen one day. I just didn’t realize it would be this hard. I didn’t know anything could hurt this bad. It’s pure fucking agony, as if my heart is being ripped from my chest.

The sound of his motorcycle reaches my ears, bringing me out of my thoughts. I quickly wipe my eyes and jump out of the car. There’s no way I’m gonna let him know how much he hurt me. No, I’m gonna be my normal happy self. Smile and pretend that nothing is different. When he thinks everything is all right, I’m gonna get the fuck out of this town.

I make it to the front door, just as Round cuts off his bike. He’s off of it and calling my name before I can get it opened. I ignore him, walk inside, and head toward the kitchen. I’ve nearly made it through the living room, when he walks in. He grabs me by the arm before I can step into the kitchen.

He turns me toward him before saying, “I didn’t mean for you to hear that shit. You know how brothers talk at the club. It’s just bullshit, means nothing.”

I nod my head, doing my best to avoid his penetrating stare. “I know, Round.”

With that, I pull away from him and continue on to the kitchen. My hand has just reached the fridge handle, when Round reaches out and grabs me. He pulls my back flush with his chest and places a kiss against my temple.

He continues placing light kisses against my temple as he says, “If you would just listen, you wouldn’t be so pissed off at me. I can fix this shit if you’ll just give me a damn chance to explain what I meant.”

I don’t want to let him explain. I don’t think he can fix it no matter what he says. “Please, just let me go.”

“Talk to me, baby,” he whispers, pulling me impossibly closer to him. “Or we could forget the talking and do what we do best.”

When I feel his hard cock rubbing against my ass, I have to bite my tongue to keep from telling him to fuck off. The bastard wants to have sex right now? Hell no. I just want him to leave me alone. He needs to leave me the hell alone and let me cry in peace. I also need some time to try to figure out what the hell to do next. There’s no way I can continue to live with a man who thinks of me as nothing more than a whore.

My temper finally gets the best of me as I twist out of his hold. “I don’t want an explanation. Don’t want to hear a damn thing you have to say. I’ve heard enough from your fucking mouth to last a lifetime.”

“Watch your mouth, woman,” he growls out, fisting his hands by his side.

I ignore his order and shout, “Just stay away from me and leave me the hell alone. Go on back to the club and find another whore to take care of your dick.”

I turn away from him and stomp into the bedroom, trying my best to keep from crying with each step I take. I can do it, because there’s nothing I would hate worse than letting him see how his words have affected me. He needs to see the cold club whore he thinks I am, so that’s what I’m going to show him.

“You know I’m not gonna stay away, and I’m not gonna leave you alone. Not until you listen to what I have to say,” he says, as he follows me into the bedroom.

Again, my temper flares as I turn to look at him, standing just inside the room. “Fine, say what you’ve got to say.”

His eyes meet mine, and he says, “First of all, don’t ever tell me to go to the club and get my dick taken care of by someone else. You’re the only one who takes care of that, and we both know it.”

He takes a couple of steps toward me before continuing, “I shouldn’t have said that shit earlier. None of it was true. You know I don’t think of you like that.”

His softly spoken words make me hesitate for just a second. I know Round is a good man. Hell, I’ve known that since long before I was in his bed. That’s probably why his words were so hurtful to me.

“Look, Round, I’m fine. You don’t need to apologize,” I say, but a quick shake of his head has me shutting my mouth.

“Judging by the pain I see in your eyes, I’m thinking you’re a long fucking way from fine. You should know better than to lie to me, Lisa,” he growls out, crossing his arms over his chest and taking another step closer to me.

The anger I see in his eyes pisses me way the fuck off, and I can’t stop myself from releasing my anger on him. “We both know I’m no one special, and I never will be.”

Walking to him, I lay a hand on his chest. “I’ve known it my whole life. I've always been trash. My dad was a dope head, and Mom, well, let’s just say she spent a hell of a lot of time on her back and very little of it was with my dad.” Giving my head a shake, I continue on. “I knew I would turn out just like them, pure white trash. I just never heard someone say it out loud before, so it hurt me for a minute or two. But I’ll get over it. Don’t let it bother you. I’m not going to. It’s over and done with, so let’s just forget about it.”

With that, I turn away from him and start to walk around him. He grabs my hand and tugs me into his body. A second later, his arms are wrapped around me, holding me tight against his chest. The familiarity of his warm body lulls me into a momentary reprieve from the pain I’m feeling.

“If you would just stop fighting me and listen, you’d know that’s not how I feel,” he says, placing a kiss on the top of my head. “I was just spouting shit at Smoke because he pissed me off. I wasn’t thinking about how my words would hurt you.”

“Your words didn’t hurt me. The truth behind them did,” I say, slowly pulling back enough to look in his eyes. “It hurt to know I am nothing more than a distraction to you. Hurt even worse that you would have no problem sharing me with your friends.”

His arms tighten around me again, forcing my face back against his chest. “Brother or not, if someone even looks at you too fucking long, they’re dead.”

Before I can even think about the meaning behind his words, he is walking me toward the bed. My back hits the soft mattress seconds before his body settles on top of mine. His lips meet mine a second later as his hands run up and down my sides.

Finally, he pulls back and looks into my eyes. “You are a distraction, Lisa, the biggest fucking distraction I’ve ever met.”

With that, his lips are back on mine, devouring me. I know I should be pushing him away, but he feels so good, so damn right. Instead, I wrap my arms around him and lose myself to the kiss. His tongue duels with mine, as his hands run up my side to cup my breast. When his fingers find my hardened nipple, he gives it a little twist, pulling a gasp from deep inside me.

The kiss continues, only breaking long enough for him to pull my shirt over my head. After slinging the shirt across the room, he goes to the zipper on my jeans. His expert fingers work the zipper, and he barely has my pants around my hips before his hand is in my panties. His hand cups my pussy, giving it a squeeze, before a finger runs through my wet folds. Then, it sinks deep inside me, once, twice, and again before pulling away.

He finds my clit, just as his mouth moves to my ear. “This is mine, all fucking mine.”

He plays with my sensitive nub for only a second before pulling back and jumping off the bed. He drags me to the foot of the bed, pulling my jeans and panties off as he does. Then, he unbuttons his pants and shoves them down his hips. His cock springs up, nearly touching his belly button, causing my core to pulse with need.

“Get inside me.” My eyes meet his as he wraps one hand around his throbbing cock and pulls a condom out of his pocket with the other.

He shoots me a smile as he rips open the package and rolls the condom on before grabbing my legs. He hooks them over his arms as he lines up with my pussy. A split second later, he is buried balls deep. Not hesitating at all, he starts to forcefully thrust in and out. He’s so big and he is going so deep, it causes a wave of pain to shoot through my body. But the pain quickly turns into pleasure.

“You feel so fucking good,” he growls out, rotating his hips to go even deeper. “Nothing has ever felt as good as being deep inside you.”

He pulls out then thrusts forward again, pulling a moan from my lips. “Yes, just like that.”

Without missing a stroke, he pushes me up the bed. As he releases my legs, he comes down on top of me. His lips are on mine as his thrusts gain speed. He keeps going deeper and deeper, drawing me closer to the edge. I wrap my legs around him, matching his rhythm. He lets out a growl of approval and grinds against me, rubbing my clit just the way he knows I like.

When he goes in deep once again, my body goes up in flames. My legs tighten around him as an explosive orgasm rockets through me. He glides into me once, twice, and then growls his release against my lips. We both lie still for a moment, gasping for breath. Finally, he places a soft but sensual kiss on my lips and rolls away.

I lie still as he takes off the condom and throws it in the trash before jerking up his jeans. He doesn’t even bother with the zipper as he lies back and throws an arm over his eyes. I can hear him taking in deep breaths, and my heart starts to pound as I realize what I did. I proved his words right. I’m a whore and always will be. He stomped all over my heart and had me in bed within the blink of an eye.

“Don’t ever doubt how much I care about you, Lisa,” he says, drawing me away from my thoughts. “I’ve never cared about a woman the way I care about you.”

I want to tell him how bad he hurt me, how much it still hurts. I would love to ask him why he has never told me he loves me, if he cares about me so much. Instead, I close my eyes and say, “I know you do, Round.”