Chapter Thirteen
Lying underneath the crumpled satin sheets Raegan’s head spun out of guilt. She tossed and turned, feeling guilty for not riding with her girls. Restless, she crawled out of bed and wrapped Nahvid’s robe around her shoulders. The moon was full and although it was freezing outside, she needed to clear her head. She stepped out onto his balcony and stared up at the night sky. The crisp air hit her instantly, refreshing her as she stared out on to the sparkling snow.
She heard the sliding door open behind her and she closed her eyes as she felt Nahvid’s lips grace her neck.
“It’s freezing out here, ma,” he whispered. “Come back to bed.”
“It’s beautiful though. It’s so still at night,” she said.
“You wanna talk about it?” he asked, thinking that she missed her son. He hated to see her sad. He could tell by her tense shoulder and the heaviness in her tone that her heart was burdened.
She shook her head and turned around to kiss his lips. “No, not really. I just want to be with you. When I’m with you everything in my world seems right. I forget all of the bad,” she whispered.
“Me too, ma. Me too,” he whispered. “You’re my get right.”
He led her back inside and lay down in his bed, wrapping his arms around her. “I feel like I want to take things to the next level with you. You’re my Sunny Rae. I’d like you to meet somebody,” he said.
“Who?” she asked.
“My mother,” Nahvid answered. “You’re the only woman who I have ever cared for besides my moms. I would like for the two of you to meet. I called her when you fell asleep to see if she was available.” Nahvid waited for her to respond. “I’ve arranged a dinner at the restaurant tomorrow night. Is that okay?” he asked. He wanted Raegan to know where he came from and to meet the woman who had birthed him and the one who he had let break his heart repeatedly.
“Of course,” she answered. “I’d love to meet her, baby.” As she thought about her girls she feared that they may be right. She didn’t want to let them down just because Nahvid had chosen to upgrade her lifestyle.
I have to be there for them. I have to do this,
she thought. She turned to Nahvid and added, “I just have to go get pampered in the morning. I’ll have to meet you there. I want to make a good impression on her.”
Raegan had the best Brazilian blowout in town and she was always well maintained. Pampering herself was the last thing on her mind, but using it as an excuse was the perfect lie to give herself enough time to hit the lick with her girls before the dinner. She cared about Nahvid and she gave herself to him like no other man before, but she owed this to her girls.
When he wasn’t in the picture they were all that I had. I can’t let them down.
Raegan hesitantly came out of her sleep, wishing that she could live in her dreams forever. Her son was always available to her in her dreams and as she opened her eyes she could still hear his coos in her head. She crawled out of bed and did her morning beauty regimen before making her way downstairs.
“Nahvid!” she called as she descended the stairs. He met her at the bottom and lifted her off of her feet as he kissed her lips.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he complimented. “I need you to be quiet though. My homeboy is asleep in there on the couch.”
“What?” she questioned in confusion.
“Go take a look. I’m about to make breakfast. Wake him and see if he’s hungry for me?” Nahvid asked.
Raegan frowned in confusion as she made her way into the living area. She stopped mid-step and her hand shot over her mouth as tears came to her eyes. Her son lay comfortably on the couch with his thumb in his mouth. It had been so long since she had seen him. He was seven months old. “How did you? When did? Oh my God,” she whispered in disbelief. “How long do I have with him?”
“A lifetime, ma. Your baby’s father and I had a talk. He sees things much clearer now and he sends his sincere apologies,” Nahvid said seriously as he wiped the tears from her face. “He’s all yours.”
Raegan ran to her baby and woke him up with hugs and kisses. Her heart swelled so much that it hurt. It was the greatest gift that Nahvid could have ever given her ... It was one that she would never forget.
She played with her son for hours, wearing him out with laughter and love. She was relieved that he seemed to recognize her and she did all that she could to make sure that she showed him how much she had missed him. As time slowly ticked by she wished that she didn’t have to leave him, but she had to take care of one thing ... one lick with her girls. Nahvid came over and took her son, cradling him as if it were his own child. “Let’s put your mommy out so she can get ready for tonight, li’l homie,” Nahvid said. Baby Micah seemed to take to Nahvid and as Raegan looked up at the two of them she realized that she loved Nahvid. He was her man ... they were built for one another.
After today I’m done with this. I have enough money put up to last at least a couple years if I live modestly,
she thought. As she stood, sadness filled her eyes.
“He’ll be here when you get back. Go ahead. Take whatever you need out of the knot on the kitchen counter. Enjoy yourself and li’l man and I will meet you here at eight
P.M.
”
Raegan nodded and then kissed her son before heading out to meet Gucci and Chanel. Whether they liked it or not, this would be the last time she put her life on the line.
Chapter Fourteen
“Hurry up before I put your brains on the floor,” Gucci shouted as she pointed her gun at the guy. Her nerves were all over the place. She was scared to do the job without Raegan and had hit a few lines of coke to give her the courage she needed to carry this lick through. She was quickly regretting it, however, because it felt like her body was on overload and she couldn’t quite focus on the task at hand.
“He thinks we’re playing with his ass,” Chanel yelled harshly. The guy was moving extremely slow. They had already been in the stash house too long. She hated to admit it, but things were much harder without Raegan. There were just too many niggas in the room to watch. She felt out of control and frantic without the extra security that Raegan contributed. Uneasy and a bit fearful Chanel was ready to shake, but she wasn’t leaving there without the money she had come for.
Chanel felt completely unprepared. In her rush to come up on some new paper, she hadn’t done her homework well enough. She had scoped the spot briefly, but had been far from thorough. If she had done her job she would have known that the five hustlers in the room were one man short. So as the dude stuffed the money in the duffel bag, he moved molasses slow, purposely trying to give his man time to return to the spot.
The situation was out of control. A smoker who had come to cop lay quivering in the corner of the room and as she tried to stand Chanel almost lost her cool.
“Sit the fuck back down!” she shouted as she applied pressure to her trigger. “All of you sit! On your hands!” The various fiends in the room sat down on top of their hands wishing that they had kept their promises to God to kick crack. Maybe this was their punishment for living life addicted to the devil’s smoke. Chanel was overwhelmed. There were simply too many people in the room and not enough firepower to keep things looking favorable for the girls. Feeling as though they had gotten in over their heads, Chanel decided to get what they could and retreat. “Get the bag,” she told Gucci.
As she hit the back door she was met with a Beretta to the face. “Bitch, get your ass back inside,” the guy said as he snatched the gun from her hand, catching her off guard.
“Put your gun down!” Gucci demanded as she immediately placed her pistol to the head of the man who had been bagging the money.
“Bitch, you put your gun down,” the dude shot back.
BOOM!
Without warning a shot let off and the dude was met with a slug to the back of the head as Raegan stepped into the room.
“You already know what time it is. Move faster or don’t move at all,” Raegan threatened.
Distracted by Raegan’s presence Gucci never saw the guy reach for the pistol he had taped beneath the table. He popped off, his bullshit aim causing him to miss, but inciting a shootout. Gucci grabbed the money and shot out the front door as Raegan and Chanel held it down inside. Bullets flew and when Chanel’s clip ejected itself, empty ... Raegan kept firing, relentlessly. She had toe tagged that nigga before he left her son without a mom. Raegan dumped on him until she heard him stop firing and when Chanel went to check the body her eyes bugged as she announced, “He’s dead.”
The men on the floor trembled. Their hands and feet were bound and they anticipated being executed one by one, but Raegan wasn’t cold-blooded. When she saw the woman dead in the corner, blood trailing from a dot in her forehead, her stomach turned. Things had gone bad ... fast and there was no turning back. “Get the rest of that money and let’s go,” she said harshly as she walked out of the house dazed from all of the carnage she left behind inside.
Chapter Fifteen
“You came,” Gucci mumbled as she drove away from what was now a crime scene.
“I wish I hadn’t,” Raegan shot back. “I told you bitches ... I told you! We were supposed to play it smart, not reckless. Now three people are dead ... dead! You couldn’t see that the stupid nigga was stalling?”
Chanel and Gucci thought it wise not to argue back. Raegan was livid and they knew she was right. They had overestimated their game and now it had backfired. Chanel drove back to her house and they quickly went inside. Blood covered Raegan and she trembled as she rushed upstairs.
“Count the money and put it in Lisa’s room. Nobody touch it. Nobody. I have to get cleaned up and get out of here. I have to meet Nahvid somewhere. Just don’t get to spending this money right away. Lay low for a couple weeks until things die down,” Raegan suggested.
Chanel and Gucci nodded while looking guiltily at each other. When Raegan stepped into the shower she broke down. She cried good and long. Her soul hurt. Her conscience was heavy. They had been greedy. After the first hit they should have stopped, but their insatiable love of material things had led them straight to the breaking point.
Raegan walked into the room looking as beautiful as ever. A borrowed Badgley Mischka dress out of Chanel’s closet helped cover up the sins she had committed just moments before. As she walked over to Nahvid, she hoped her eyes weren’t red. He held her little man in his strong arms and embraced her gently.
“We missed you, ma,” he whispered into her ear.
She blushed and took her seat. Her heart melted when he passed her baby Micah. He was her joy. He instantly distracted her from the events that had just taken place.
“Where’s your mom?” she asked.
Disappointment filled his face as he replied, “I don’t know.” Raegan’s heart went out to Nahvid. He was normally so poised and strong, but the devastation that took over his features made him look like a lost little boy. “I shouldn’t even be surprised. This is typical,” he said. He picked up his menu. “Let’s just eat.”
Raegan reached over the table and grabbed Nahvid’s hand, squeezing it reassuringly. “No, Nah, we can wait.”
Baby Micah distracted them both as they sat with him like doting parents as they waited for their guest of honor to show up. With every minute that passed Nahvid’s face revealed more of his hurt. “How can a mother do this to her son? She’s never been there. Tonight I wanted her to meet you because I’ve grown to care for you ... I wanted her to be normal ... to scrutinize you like any normal mother would. For once I just wanted her to be the parent, nah mean? I wanted that fairy tale shit,” he admitted. Raegan’s eyes watered and as soon as she went to hug Nahvid, baby Micah cried out.
“I’m sorry ... He has the worst timing,” she said as she picked up her son and cuddled him close to her chest.
Nahvid smiled and shook his head. “Never apologize for being a good mother, ma. What you have with him is what I wish I could have with my own mother. I admire the love you have for your son,” he said.
Raegan walked over to Nahvid and sat on his lap with her baby still in her arms. She looked at him as he welcomed the two of them into his lap. His embrace was warm, but his eyes were cold from the abandonment he felt. “She is crazy for not loving you, right,” Raegan said. “She’s the one losing out, Nah ... not you. You are an extraordinary person. The best man I’ve ever met.”
“You’re the first person I’ve ever talked to about her ... about missing her. I’m not gonna lie, Rae. It hurts,” Nahvid admitted as he inhaled her scent, burying his head in her neck. “You being in my presence makes life a little less lonely.”
“I’ll be here as long as you want me too, Nahvid,” Raegan replied with a kiss on the lips. They waited for an hour before deciding to order.
“I love you, Nah. Don’t be too mad at your mother,” Raegan said. “I’m sure that she loves you, baby. She’ll come around. I’m not going anywhere so I will be here whenever she’s ready to meet me. I wouldn’t want to share you with another woman either. You are her baby boy. I know when Micah brings home some little floozy I’m going to be reluctant to accept her too.”
Her smile lit up the room and caused Nahvid’s night to turn around. Even though he knew that his mother’s issues were much more complex than Raegan could ever know, she had a way of making even his most miserable moments seem worthwhile.
“You’re an amazing woman and mother, ma,” he complimented. “The more I’m around you the more I can’t stand the thought of losing you.”
“You won’t. I am here, Nahvid. I am the one person who will always come back to you,” she said as she held his hand up to her mouth and kissed it softly.
Nahvid put his napkin over his plate and looked at her seriously.
“What?” Raegan asked, feeling as though she were transparent.
“I want to share something with you. There’s a place that I need to show you,” he said as he stood and held out his arm. “Take a ride with me.”
Nahvid loaded baby Micah into his back seat, opened the door for Raegan, and then climbed inside his car. Raegan had him feeling a certain type of way about her. He was experiencing love like never before. Usually he lost interest in women quickly, but Raegan stimulated his mind, body, and soul. She was imperfectly perfect and he felt that he needed to open his entire world to her. They rode in silence, but Nahvid gripped her hand tenderly, protectively as he whipped through the city’s streets ... his streets ... the ones that he had put in years of work to own. Raegan could feel that his mind was racing and she gave him time to think. She sat back and just enjoyed the feeling of being his queen. There were a million and one bitches who would love to be sitting next to him, but he had chosen her and it felt good. They arrived at a closed storage facility and Nahvid turned off the car.
“Come on, I need to show you something,” he said.
She grabbed her son out of the car and followed him inside. “What is this place?” she asked as she entered and discovered the contents that lay inside. There were luxury cars, furniture, and boxes everywhere.
“This is my stash spot, Raegan. I’m showing you this because I trust you. I’m trying to be with you, ma, and I want you to know where my worth lies in case anything ever happens to me. No one knows where this is. If I’m ever at a point where I can’t handle my own business I want you to be able to provide for you and your son. You tell no one where this is, Raegan. Not even your best friends. This is for your knowledge only, just in case,” he said.
“Just in case what?” she asked, feeling as though he was foreshadowing an inevitable death.
“Just in case,” he repeated with a knowing nod. “Can I trust you with this?”
Raegan went to him and rubbed his face reassuringly. “You can trust me with anything.”
Their bond was so strong in that moment and Raegan was honored that he was positive in her loyalty. She knew that Nahvid was very protective over his empire and the fact that he would let her in on such a sensitive matter made her feel exclusively loved. In a short period of time they had come to cherish one another and now more than ever before, she was confident that they would be long-lasting. Nahvid’s phone rang and he kissed the top of her head as he answered the call.
“Yo,” he answered. Raegan felt his body stiffen as he received the news on the other end and she looked up at him curiously. His mood went from calm to enraged in the blink of an eye as he ended the call. He looked at her and kissed her cheek. “We have to go. I have something important I need to handle.”
They drove in silence but Raegan knew that whatever news he had received had changed Nahvid’s entire mood. The tension in Nahvid’s brow caused him to frown and his jawbone clenched as he gritted his teeth. Raegan wanted to speak, but for lack of words remained quiet, until they pulled up in front of the very house that Raegan had just robbed. Her chest became tight as she fidgeted nervously. It felt as though her heart fell into the pit of her stomach. “Why are we here?” she asked.
“Just stay in the car, ma. This is one of my spots. Somebody robbed me,” he stated. “Lock the doors and don’t open then for anybody.” He got out of the car and walked up to the door where Reason was waiting for him.
Raegan watched in horror. She didn’t know if she should get in the driver’s seat and peel out or if she should stay put. Uncertainty took over her mind as the threat of being caught up made her feel as though she would vomit.
There is no way he knows it’s me,
she thought as her breathing became deep ... panicked.
She saw him emerge from the house grief-stricken as blood covered his shirt. She got out of the car, running to him as worry filled her. The look on his face was one of pure heartbreak. “What’s wrong? Nah, talk to me,” she begged as she cupped his face in her hands. She could see the pain seeping from within him, but he refused to cry.
It’s just money. He can’t be this broken up about money,
she thought.
“My mother was in the house when it was robbed. They killed her,” he said. “It’s been a long time since I’ve put my murder game down ... but the bitches that did this is gonna see me.”
“Bitches?” she said feigning shock as if she weren’t a part of the very crew who had orchestrated the heist.
“One of my li’l niggas ... they left him alive. He said it was three bitches ... red-bottom heels, trench coats, and winter scarves wrapped around their faces,” he described.
As he spoke she dug her heels into the plush grass. She was wearing the exact pumps she had worn during the robbery and she discreetly hid them, not wanting him to put two and two together. He knew that she owned many pair. Hell he had purchased most of them, but suspecting her was the last thing on his mind. She felt like a snake. She truly cared for Nahvid and knew that they could be so great together, but their courtship was built upon a foundation of lies ... deceit that she had started ... lies that she had told and would have to keep up to save her own neck.
“Let’s go home, baby,” she said. “I’m so sorry.”
He had no idea that there was more to her apology than sympathy. Her mind spun as she got into the driver’s seat and made her way back to his house.
He didn’t speak and the spark that usually lit up his eyes when he looked at her was now so dim she almost couldn’t find it. Her guilt and insecurity made it feel as though he already knew the truth. She wanted to probe into his head ... to hear the emotions so that she could make sure he was clueless of her involvement but she said nothing. Raegan put baby Micah to sleep, in the crib that Nahvid had purchased. As she looked around the room she was overwhelmed in regret. How could
I do this to him? How could I contribute to this pain? He’ll never forgive me for this.
Raegan kissed her son and packed a bagful of his things, quietly tiptoeing around his room until she had gathered baby Micah’s most important things. She knew that she would have to leave Nahvid. Too much had gone down. There was no taking back this mistake and as soon as she got the opportunity she would blow like the wind, no matter how much she wanted to plant roots. She hid the bag in his closet and then returned to find Nahvid. Tears gathered in her eyes when she saw him standing at the window. His back was turned to her so she couldn’t see his face, but the way his shoulders slumped in defeat revealed his broken spirit. Raegan knew that she had squandered a good thing, thrown away what could have been a storybook love, all in the sake of chasing dead presidents. She had never meant to hurt him, but as she walked up behind him and wrapped her arms around his body she knew that he had.
“I love you, Nahvid. I am sorry, baby,” she whispered.
He stayed up half the night drinking his guilt away as Raegan sat on the couch rubbing his back to ease his tension.
“I should have pulled her out of the streets a long time ago,” he said regretfully.
“You didn’t know this would happen, Nah,” she soothed, all the while fighting her inner turmoil. Everything in her wanted to tell the truth but she feared the repercussions. She knew of his power in the streets and had heard of the things that he had done to those who crossed him. She hadn’t known him long enough to be the exception to the rule. She was sure that she was beginning to fall hard for him. She would even go so far as to say that she loved Nahvid, but she wouldn’t bet her life on it that he felt the same. Nahvid wouldn’t hesitate to end her life. The doorbell rang loudly throughout the house and she stood to answer it.