Raegan put her hand on his back and led him through the dark restaurant to his office. She turned on the light, gun still aimed, eyes still searching for the setup. She was terrified and playing out of her league. She wasn’t built for this ... not when her adversary was the man she loved. Raegan never claimed to be a gangster; she was simply a woman who had been put between a rock and a hard place. She was stuck.
“Sit down,” she said, trying to appear assertive, but Nahvid was a predator in any situation. He could smell her fear. Her aim was timid. There was no bite behind her bark, but most of all she was his bitch. He could hear her cries for help without her ever having to open her mouth.
Nahvid walked up on her.
“Don’t come near me,” she said.
“Come on, Raegan. This ain’t you ... or is it? Is this you, ma? Cuz right now I’m feeling like I’ve been sleeping with the enemy. Like I don’t know you. Like I’ve been a mark to you all this time,” he said as he continued to step toward her.
He was within arm’s reach and he wrapped his hand around the gun. He clasped her hand between both of his, applying pressure until she let go of the pistol.
“I’m so sorry,” she sobbed as she fell into his arms. He resisted at first, feeling mixed emotions. A part of him wanted to murder her, but a huge part of him wanted to hold her. His arms closed around Raegan’s svelte figure and held her tightly. Nahvid could feel the frightful rhythm of her heart as it beat frantically ... desperately ... unsurely. He could tell that she was putting on a brave front but the tremble in her back gave away her apprehension. As much as he hated her for taking his mother away, he adored her for giving him what his mother never could. Raegan had showed him what it was like to feel true love.
“How did we get here?” he asked.
Raegan stepped away from him and looked directly into his face. “I didn’t know that we were robbing your spot. I swear to God on my son’s life. I didn’t find out until you drove me there later that night. It was only supposed to be one time. I needed money to pay Micah back so that he would return my son. I didn’t have time to do it legit, so me and my girls started pulling capers on hustlers around the city,” she said.
“What am I to you? Was this planned?” he asked angrily.
“No! No! Nah ... I am crazy about you. I just felt so disloyal to my friends. I was taken care of with you. You kept me the way I deserve to be kept, but they were still hustling ... still struggling. They needed more money and they wanted to hit more stash houses. I told them no. I said I was out, but then I started feeling guilty like I was turning my back on them. Before you came into my life they were the only support system that my baby and I had. They were my family, Nahvid, and I just couldn’t turn my back on them. The morning I told you I was getting ready for the dinner with your mother ... I was really out hitting a stash house with them. Things just went bad and bullets started flying and your mom ...”
Nahvid felt nothing but love for Raegan in that moment. She had been forced into the situation all because of her son and when she was ready to leave, she felt obligated to her friends. She was loyal and if she truly didn’t know that she was taking his operation, he couldn’t blame her. She was a diamond in the rough with evident flaws, but even a blind man could see her worth. She just needed him to clean her up a bit, smooth out her imperfections, and give her value.
“Now we’re on the run from you ... robbing banks just to make it out of town ...”
“What?” he exclaimed, realizing that the situation was completely out of hand. Raegan was federal and if he didn’t pull her back off the ledge she would be at the point of no return. He could squash her beef in the streets without a problem, but she was moving reckless and if the heat came down on her ... she would be connected to him. He couldn’t protect her from a federal indictment. Shocked that he had allowed someone so treacherous into his life he wiped his face in frustration. “Where is your head, ma? Huh? You reckless out here ... You moving so stupid. You’re so beautiful but right now you’re looking real ugly. Can I trust you around me, Raegan? I’m a man of great stature. I have a lot to lose by fucking with you, ma. I don’t need no Eve to my Adam, Raegan ... You’re poisonous, ma, and I’m second-guessing everything about you.”
His words silenced her and she dropped her head as her mind searched for the words that could fix this. What could she say? What could she do? Was she just a slow death for him? Raegan didn’t want to be the one to bring Nahvid to his demise, and she honestly had no intentions of doing him dirty. Her world was chaotic. She and her friends had made it this way. She wanted to be hurt but she couldn’t blame his skepticism. She deserved to be doubted. Raegan had done nothing to prove the love she professed.
“Don’t say that. Please, Nahvid, just believe me when I say I would never intentionally hurt anyone! Especially anyone connected to you!” she claimed. “Shit is just out of control. I can’t get time back. I did what I did and I’m standing here in front of you taking responsibility for that. I’m so sorry for what I did. You are the last person who I would betray. I need help. I just want all of this to go away,” she whispered. She hoped that her transparency was enough to make him see that she was being authentic. Her eyes burned with sincerity and she breathed heavily from the turmoil of it all. This was hell; they both were burning in a love affair that was highly unlikely ... yet one that they each yearned for.
Nahvid turned his back to her and placed his balled fist to his forehead as he leaned against the wall, eyes shut, mind racing, heart banging. Raegan’s offense against his camp was huge and her offense against his life was even greater. Nahvid had murdered men for much less but he couldn’t deny that through all the bullshit he cared for her. He knew that at their greatest, their love was one unrivaled by any the history books had ever seen. More attractive than Zya and Snow, more notorious than Young Carter and Miamor, more dedicated than Anari and Von, and more unpredictable than YaYa and Indie’s ... their story hadn’t been written yet. It was too new and the invisible forces of the universe were too strong. She was like a magnet: her pull on him was insane. Nita’s face flashed through his mind and he felt a lump form in his throat. His mother had been living wrong for so long so could Nahvid truly place all of the blame on Raegan?
Raegan stood back silently as she watched the inner battle he was fighting and she was sick because she was the cause of it. She shuffled in her stance nervously, her face twisted in uncertainty and agony. Love had a way of hurting the most when it wasn’t on track and they both were suffering for different reasons. She walked over to him reluctantly and wrapped her arms around him as she rested her cheek on his strong back. He didn’t turn to face her, but the sensation of her arms around him seemed to fill him up. His entire life he had been walking through the world half loved, half appreciated. Nita hadn’t been able to love him fully because she was too in love with herself. Her crack addiction had taken all of her to the point where she had nothing left to give to her son and when Raegan stepped in she seemed to fill the void. He had not allowed himself to love but she had melted his frozen emotions. He had had badder, richer, slimmer, nicer, women than she ... but none had been she. No other woman had been able to position herself next to him and carve out a spot in his life that was only fit for one. It wasn’t her perfections that he adored ... it was her imperfections.
“Please, Nahvid. You have to know that I love you. I need help. I just need you to help me, Nah. Forgive me and just take all of this away,” she whispered as her tears wet the fabric of his shirt.
“I’ll make it go away, ma,” he whispered. The words tasted like vinegar falling off of his lips, but he said them anyway. He couldn’t let his pride stop him from being there for her. Seeking revenge against her would be like biting off his nose to spite his face. He turned toward her and gripped her face between his strong hands as he stared at her intensely. “Just be loyal to me. You should have come to me from the beginning. Your girls wanted to make their paper, I could have put ’em to work, ma. Nobody around me is starving, but loyalty is what I require to be in my circle. You understand?” he asked as he held her chin firmly, scolding her and loving her all in one speech.
“I understand,” she answered. “I’m afraid of you now. I feel like you’re going to punish me for what happened to your mom. I’m terrified that you’ll hurt Micah or hurt me.”
Nahvid swallowed her words as he bent down to kiss her lips. It was crazy how in an instant he could make her world better. He slid her dress up and found that she wore no panties. It took no time for him to fill the space between her legs. Dripping wet she soaked him as he bounced her up and down on his thickness, hitting every spot so right that he made her sore.
“I love you, Nah,” she whispered in rapture as her head bobbled back on her neck in ecstasy.
“I love you too. You’re my Sunny Rae. I need you to keep me sane.”
He grieved his mother, but she had always chosen her drug of choice over her son. Well Raegan was his drug of choice and now he understood his mother’s strife. She loved her son, but she was addicted ... as was he, to Raegan.
He drilled into her as he laid her across his desk, cupping her breasts as he admired her beautiful physique. She was thick, voluptuous, and still carried the weight from having a baby ... but it was all in the right places. She was a real woman and Nahvid knew that if they could get through this obstacle intact, she would be his for life. He felt the grime of the situation stick to his heart. His mother wasn’t even in the dirt yet and he was bedding someone who had contributed to her death. It was a choice that he would have to live with for the rest of his life, but one that he felt was worth it. He had never felt more whole; as a matter of fact he had been half fulfilled until he met Raegan.
As Raegan enjoyed the sheer bliss of his stroke she cried the entire time. She didn’t know that someone could love her so perfectly. His love was loyal ... flawless... unconditional. She found everything that she had been looking for in dudes over the years within him. He hit the back of her pussy like no one had ever done before. Her legs shook violently as she creamed all over him. Nahvid was still hard and his stamina was incredible as he pulled himself out of her. His dick was thick and deliciously chocolate. The veins on his length throbbed and begged for her to lick them. Without hesitation she got on her knees and took him into her mouth. Womanhood dripping onto her thigh as she swallowed him, deep-throating him as she bobbed down and planting loving kisses on the tip each time she pulled back.
“Come here,” he ordered. “Get on this dick, ma.”
She straddled him and gasped as he split her walls.
“You forgive me?” she whispered in his ear.
He touched her face and looked her in the eyes. He could see the remorse as he stared into her soul, but the motherless child inside of him would not allow him to fully forgive her sins against him. The overwhelming urge to hurt her surged through Nahvid as he lifted her off of him and turned her around. He entered her from behind, unyielding as lust mixed with anger caused him to be a bit rough. She winced and moaned all at once as Nahvid danced along the line of pain and pleasure. “Don’t run from me, ma,” he whispered as he gripped her hips and pounded into her middle. He spread her ass cheeks. She bit her lip to stifle the animalistic sounds that escaped her lips. Nahvid was punishing her and Raegan was taking it like a champ. She threw the pussy back at him like she was an all-star pitcher. Raegan knew her man and she could feel his frustration in the way that he stroked her. He was usually gentle and caring, but this session contained no sensitivity. It was raw and passion filled, but it was fueled by pain and Raegan recognized the difference. This wasn’t lovemaking ... it wasn’t what she had become accustomed to with him. Not with Nah, not from her man ... or was he even still hers?
Raegan’s heart hurt because of the pain that she had caused Nahvid. He had been good to her and she had repaid him with disloyalty. Knowing that she couldn’t take his strife away killed her, but she gave him her all sexually as her nails left markings in the wooden desk that she was sprawled across. She laid all her cards out on the table and tried to seduce him into forgiveness. Atonement. That’s all Raegan needed from him, but she was unsure if he was really capable of letting something so big go unchecked.
She had crossed him and she was well aware of his ruthless reputation in the streets. Her eyes would always be open for the double cross she expected to come her way. She would be paranoid with him and the two would never fully trust one another. Their relationship could never be exactly as it was. Nothing was the same as it had been and everything had changed for the worse.
Nahvid’s mind spun as he pressed her head down into the desk while he rocked in and out of her. It was too soon for him to even be in her presence, but like a moth to a flame he was drawn to her. Being with her was like self-destruction, yet still here he was dick deep inside of her womb, making promises of forgiveness that he wasn’t sure if he could keep. He wanted to be the noble man she had come to know, but the hood nigga in him wanted retribution. No one had ever disrespected him in the way that Raegan and her girls had. Love, he concluded, had softened him. The devotion that a man usually felt for his mother he felt for Raegan, and guilt plagued him because he held the woman of his dreams at higher regard than the woman who birthed him. Consumed with rage, lust, hate, love, and every emotion in between he took it out on Raegan’s body until he had nothing left. He came hard, causing her body to shudder as she shared in his satisfaction.