Guilty Pleasures (39 page)

She spun toward him, her face pinched as if her feet suddenly hurt. “What part of what I said didn't you understand
”

“The whole thing.” He folded his arms across his chest. “How
”

“How what
” She snapped her neck to the side.

“How did you get in
”

“I lifted a master key card from one of the housekeeping staff like I was supposed to do from the jump.” She did a mime routine of her handiwork. Her smirk was triumphant. “It's what I do.”

He snorted more in amazement than annoyance. “So much for technology, huh
”

“Sometimes we have to go back to bare basics.”

They looked at each other.

“I'm sorry, baby,” Jake murmured. He moved toward her.

Eva withdrew from him. “What are you sorry about
Sorry about how you feel
” Slowly she shook her head.
Hold me,
she cried silently.
Hold me and tell me it's going to be all right.

“No. That's not what I mean. I can't help how I feel, but I can help how my feelings hurt you. I don't want to hurt you. You know that.”

Her gaze snapped up to meet his. “I don't know anything. I tell you that I'm pregnant. I didn't even get an ‘Are you sure it's mine
'” she taunted, sarcasm turning her voice harsh and raspy. She sniffed. “So I'm not really sure what you're sorry about, Jake. And you know what
It doesn't matter.” Her shoulders slumped. “You need to go over that sketch. Maybe you can figure something out. I'm going to take a shower and go to bed.” She started for the bathroom. “And I'd appreciate it if you slept on the couch.” She opened the bathroom door and shut it firmly behind her, turning the lock on the knob.

She pressed her forehead against the door and set free the tears that she'd been holding all night.

*   *   *

Rita and Jinx talked long into the night, sharing pieces of their past that they'd never told anyone other than Jake and Eva.

Rita felt suddenly lighter, as if her spirit had been set free. Jinx didn't cringe or turn away when she told him about the men, the hotels, the jobs, the money. He didn't loosen his hold of her when she told him about the sordid things she'd done and what she'd allowed to be done to her—hoping that
this
man would be the one to stay. All the time that she talked and cried and talked, he listened, murmuring softly to her, holding her tight, telling her that it was okay.

She in turn listened to him tell of his childhood, the loneliness, the fear, the having to grow up before his time, of never feeling worthwhile because there was never anyone to tell him otherwise.

“Let's make a pact,” Jinx said.

“What
” Rita whispered into the night.

“Let's start our life today. Fuck what happened yesterday, last week, last year. We put all that behind us and start working on a new day.”

She turned around in his arms to face him. “It's not going to be easy.”

“Not much is.”

“The only thing I can promise is that I'll try.”

He brushed her lip with the tip of his finger. “That's all I ask.” He hesitated. “I'm in love with you. Have been for a while.”

She didn't respond.

“And maybe one day if you let it happen, you'll feel the same way about me.”

How could she tell him that she already loved him and that she'd been running from it for years
Running and running, afraid that if she slowed down, his love would catch her. And then what would she do
She'd have to love him back … or leave him.