Gumption (36 page)

W
ithout the thriving partnership of the one-hundred-plus pounds of gumption that is my wife, Megan Mullally, I would still be building furniture with drywall screws (aka “a fool”). My marriage has allowed this book to occur, for which I am deeply grateful, since being in love is the whole point. Laurie Anderson said that.

Secondly, and first and foremost, I have to thank my twenty-one featured firebrands. Each and every one of them has made this work a pleasurable education, even when my body might have preferred a nap to another savory Wendell Berry essay. It has been a sincere privilege to share these muckrakers with you, my readers. I here recognize my audacity in thinking anyone might still be reading this after that uphill slog. Not my first run-in with audacity.

Writing a project such as this one while performing in other jobs and traveling around like an overweight, tipsy jackrabbit has been mighty enjoyable, although perhaps a rather too-ambitious voyage. Without the vigilant and steady hand of Jill Something upon the tiller, I would most assuredly have run aground before clearing the harbor. She handily compensated for my tendency to list to port in heavy seas, assisted by able-bodied seawomen Stephanie Hitchcock on the halyards and LeeAnn Pemberton persuading the capstan in its revolutions, aided by Jessica Renheim, Eileen Chetti, Andrea Santoro, Norina
Frabotta, Dora Mak, and Alissa Theodor. If Jamie Knapp hadn’t shown up with her slow match, we never should have fired a single broadside, but she did, and so “confusion to Boney!”

Thayer McClanahan both heaved the log and took dead reckonings with or without a clear horizon every time I needed to know somebody’s shoe size, and he spoiled me rotten with his nautical, salty something something from up in the crow’s nest. I’m afraid this metaphor is running out of breeze. Oh, the puddening!

I have long admired the intelligence, curiosity, gumption, and, of course, photography of Dan Winters. Shooting this cover with him was a delight and a privilege, made all the more delightful by the redoubtable reconnaissance of Kathryn Winters. I am not saying that they are not Freemasons, nor Knights Templar neither.

My life would be much more giggle-free without the incessant and aggressive humor that Pat Roberts daily gifts to me, which feels like when Uncle Don used to make me eat grass. Fnord.

I thank my redoubtable agents, Monika Verma and Daniel Greenberg, who have been able to hornswaggle the folks at Dutton into paying me for this fun—I mean, work—and then Dutton is also supposedly publishing this thing? That’s some good agenting, right there.

Um, so, the folks at Dutton. Thank you for the seventeen-book deal! Two down! Next up, either the Conan bio or that Wonder Twins/Bible hero thing I mentioned with me and Willie Aames. I offer my sincere gratitude.

Special thanks to Ethan Nicolle for his scintillating talent with a pencil. Please look for his hilarious and action-packed
Axe Cop
and
Bearmageddon
titles.

Here follows a list of great American people who assisted me with suggestions and/or aid in connecting with my generous subjects, and/or kept a straight face with me after I cut one in an elevator: CornMo, Stephanie Hunt, Bala Soto, Justin Goldwater, David Schwab, Cooper Holoweski, Burley Coulter, Bob Byington, Karen Jacobs x3, Christian Becksvoort, Mike Schur, Morgan Sackett, Amy Poehler, Nicholas Pollacchi, Laura Dunn, Tanya Berry, Den Berry, Mary Berry, Emily Berry, Tanya Smith, Mart Rowanberry, Lauren Offerman, Tom Waits, Kathleen Brennan, Hagbard Celine, Julianne Deery, Erik Logan, Tyler Jones, Natalie Cherwin, Deneb Puchalski, Matt Kenney, Asa Christiana, Gary Rogowski, Ed Pirney, Tracy Poust, Robin MacGregor, Robin Lee, Wally Wilson, Pam Benjamin, Linda Sundheim, Thacker Hample, Kyle Leydier, Frank Laughlin, Teresa Laughlin, Christina Laughlin, Sarah Vowell, John Hodgman, Sue Miller-Tweedy, Spencer Tweedy, Sam Tweedy, Wilco, Eric Frankhouser, Mark Greenberg, Mary Penn, Helena Fils, Karin Gaarder, Marcus Stuckey, Elmo, Caitlin Clements, Clover, Peryn Schmitt, Troy Schreck, Paul Rudd, Tony Margherita, Jack Shoemaker, Connie Ashton, Joe Goodale, Bonnie Levitan, Mark Flanagan, Largo, Martin Garner, Josie Braymer, Jamie Mandelbaum, Barry Tyerman, Marcie Morris, Nathaniel Bert Smith, Jonas Herbsman, Heidi Lopata, UTA, Adam Siegler, Pete Milsap, Minnie Quinch, Joy Herd, Trina Meliza, Rebecca Lee, Neil Young, John Flansburgh, John Linnell, and Chez Panisse.

Here
: “Day After Tomorrow,” written by Tom Waits and Kathleen Brennan. Copyright © 2004 by JALMA MUSIC (ASCAP). Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Here
: “A Warning to My Readers,” from
The Selected Poems of Wendell Berry.
Copyright © 1998 by Wendell Berry. Reprinted by permission of Counterpoint.

Here
: “Kite Piece,” Yoko Ono. Copyright © 2015. Used by permission. All rights reserved.

Here
: “Misunderstood,” written by Jeff Tweedy. Published by Words Ampersand Music (BMI).

Here
: “Hummingbird,” written by Jeff Tweedy. Published by Words Ampersand Music, Poeyfarre Songs, Pear Blossom Music, Jorgensengaku Music, Leroy Bach Publishing Designee (BMI).

Here
: “(When You’re On) The Losing End,” words and music by Neil Young. Copyright © 1969 by Broken Arrow Music Corporation. Copyright renewed. All rights reserved. Used by permission. Reprinted by permission of Hal Leonard Corporation.

Here
: “Your Racist Friend,” written by John Flansburgh and John Linnell. Copyright © T M B G Music.

Here
: “Let X=X,” copyright © Laurie Anderson.

Here
: “Language Is a Virus,” copyright © Laurie Anderson.

Here
: “The Dream Before/From Progress (for Walter Benjamin),” copyright © Laurie Anderson.

Here
: “Yes,” Yoko Ono. Copyright © 1966 by Graham Keen.

Illustrations by Ethan Nicolle.

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