“I will,” he said. “I’m good. You’ve got a lot going on, don’t worry about me.”
Stewart gave him another kiss, then straightened up. “I’ll get in touch. I promise.”
“Okay,” Doug said. “Good luck.”
Stewart rolled his eyes. “Yeah. Thanks.” He gave Doug a final grin before leaving the bedroom.
Doug wondered if Corey would truly be expecting Stewart to move out. He had told Doug before his massage that they were reevaluating, and he wasn’t sure what would happen. But Corey was unpredictable, and Doug had seen firsthand the tantrum he could throw when he felt he’d been wronged.
Doug didn’t envy Stewart’s predicament.
Changing into running clothes, he headed down to the pond, thrilled that his back didn’t protest at all while he did his six miles. When he got back Stewart’s van was gone, and Doug wondered if he was at his new place, making preparations. He hadn’t asked where it was. This was a delicate time for Stewart, and Doug knew he couldn’t push himself on the guy or press for information.
But he couldn’t help smiling when he got in the shower. He felt renewed and hopeful, almost...
blissful
. He wondered if Corey’s weird massage had really released some lingering block inside him, or if he was simply basking in the afterglow of sex with Stewart. It wasn’t lost on him that in the past twenty-four hours, both of the men upstairs had had a literal and figurative hand in making Doug feel good. That was sort of strange. Jairo’s sandwich comment aside, Doug did feel he was in the middle of them somehow, as a wedge or an anchor, he wasn’t sure.
He was drying off when he heard his phone ring, and ran into the bedroom to get it. “Hello?”
“Hey,” Jairo’s voice said. “Are you free for lunch today?”
“Um, sure,” Doug said, surprised to hear from him again so soon. “You want to meet up?”
Jairo chuckled. “I need a sympathetic ear, and since you’ve been the king of weird sexual encounters lately, I chose you to call.”
“Huh,” Doug said. “I’m intrigued. Where do you want to meet?”
“You know the Indian restaurant down in the village?”
“I’ll find it,” he said. “Noonish?”
“Perfect, see you then.”
****
Jairo dipped a potato bhaji into a bowl of sauce. “So I slept with Rod last night.”
Doug set his fork down. “Whoa! Really? I didn’t see that coming.”
Jairo took a bite and looked up at Doug, a frown pinching his brows. “Neither did I, believe me. I’m freaking the fuck out.”
“Why?”
He shook his head. “You don’t understand. I’ve known Rod forever. He went to school with my little brother. When he came out of the closet, he chose me to confide in. I sort of guided him through it. But never in my wildest dreams did I see anything happening with the two of us. We’re friends, that’s it.”
“Well, clearly that’s
not
it. What happened?”
Jairo smiled and let out a breath. “Well, after the bar, he and I were all hopped up still, so we said goodbye to the girls then went to his place to watch a movie and have another drink. I went to the bathroom, and when I was coming back down the hall I bumped into Rod. I mean literally
bumped
right into him. We both laughed. But then suddenly we were kissing, making out like crazy up against the wall.”
“So why are you freaking out?”
“Because! It’s
Rod
. He’s one of my best friends, I’ve never thought of him like that.”
“What about now?”
“Now?” Jairo shook his head. “Now I can’t
stop
thinking about him like that.”
Doug nudged his hand, grinning. “So it was good?”
Jairo snickered. “That’s the problem. You figure it would be weird, right? Sleeping with someone you know so well, for the first time? But the fact that I do know him so well made it more...intense. I already had all this affection for him, this friendship love, you know? The sex just took it to another level. My head is spinning.”
“Wow,” Doug said, taking a sip of water. “You and Rod.”
“I don’t know if there is a me and Rod, that’s the problem.”
“How did you leave things with him?”
“Awkward.” Jairo rolled his eyes. “After it was over, I didn’t know what to do, what to think. So I was all ‘I better go’ and he was all ‘Yeah, okay’ and then I left. That’s it. I have no idea how he’s feeling about it.”
Doug clasped his hands and rested his chin on them. He shrugged. “So call him.”
“No way. I can’t.”
“Why not?”
“Have you not been listening? I’m freaking out. This is me freaking out.”
Doug laughed. “I think you should call him and talk about it.”
Jairo’s phone beeped. He scowled at Doug as he pulled it out of his pocket. “When did you go all touchy feely?”
“Since I’ve been hanging out with a disgraced former psychiatry student with magical hands.”
Jairo looked down at his phone and his eyes widened. “Oh my God. Rod texted me.”
“What’s it say?”
A grin curved Jairo’s lips as he stared at his phone. “He wants me to come over for dinner tonight.”
“Well, there you go! He likes you. Text him back.”
Panic flashed through Jairo’s eyes. “And say what?”
“That you’ll go over for dinner, you dumbass. Get a grip.”
Jairo looked at his phone then glanced at Doug. “Sorry, this is rude. I hate when people are on their phone in a restaurant.”
“I forgive you. Just text him back.”
Jairo’s thumbs tapped away as he responded to the text. “There. Sent. Done.” He let out a long breath and set his phone down on the table. “Wow. I can’t believe this is happening. It’s
Rod
!”
Doug smirked. “Yes. We’ve established that.”
Jairo smiled at him. “You seem different today. Less cranky.”
He shrugged. “Maybe Corey’s massage pulled all the cranky out.”
“Maybe,” Jairo said. “Or maybe I’m not the only one who got laid last night.”
Doug looked down at his lunch, his lips tight. “Stewart’s leaving Corey.” He glanced up at Jairo. “Today.”
Jairo’s mouth fell open. “Excuse me?”
Doug nodded.
Jairo continued to stare across the table at him, silent.
“You gonna say something?”
“Yeah,” Jairo said. “You must be an absolute
beast
in bed.”
Doug laughed hard.
“He’s really leaving him?”
“That’s what he says. He’s got a new place already.”
“Well, shit,” Jairo said. “How do you feel about it?”
“Uh...” Doug shrugged. “Cautiously optimistic.”
Jairo shook his head, stabbing a piece of chicken with his fork. “Damn. I didn’t expect that. So you’re going to keep seeing him?” He popped the chicken in his mouth, watching Doug expectantly.
“That’s the plan. I’m trying not to get too excited over it, though. There was a lot of talk about me being patient and trusting him and giving him time.”
Jairo swallowed, then took a drink of water. “But you want it? Him? Stewart?”
Doug held his eyes, nodding.
“You’ve got it bad for him, huh?”
“Jairo, you have no idea.”
Jairo grinned, then frowned. “Is he leaving Corey for you? Is that why?”
“No. Stewart said it’s not because of me, that something else happened. But he doesn’t want to talk about it yet. But he said I’m...what was it...part of the bigger picture. Whatever that means.”
“This could get sticky, Doug. With Corey still right upstairs? Won’t be easy, will it?”
“It’s worth it,” Doug said.
Jairo grinned. “You in
love
.”
“Shut up.”
“Mr. Cranky-pants is in love.”
“You gonna bring Rod some flowers tonight? Maybe some red roses with little sprigs of baby’s breath?”
Jairo scowled. “Shut up.”
Doug headed home after lunch, and when he pulled into the driveway, Zach was sitting on the front porch steps. He looked up when he heard Doug’s car, following with his eyes.
“What the hell are you doing here, kid,” Doug muttered as he parked, noting Stewart’s van was still gone.
He got out of the car and strolled back up the driveway to the front. Zach stepped off the porch. “Hey.”
Doug approached him cautiously. “Hey.”
Zach ran his hands over his short dark hair, sighing heavily. His jeans and tee shirt hugged his lean body. “I’m so sorry I pushed you the other night,” he said to Doug. “So, so sorry. I don’t usually drink that much, and...I wasn’t in my right mind. I’m really embarrassed about the whole thing. Are you all right?”
“I’m fine,” Doug said. “No worries. All is forgiven.”
Zach’s shoulders relaxed. “Oh, good. I really am sorry...what’s your name again?”
“I’m Doug.”
He nodded. “I’m Zach.”
“Yeah, we’ve met,” Doug said. “A couple times.”
“Right.” Zach chuckled, the smile lighting his handsome face, making him look even younger. “Do you know where Corey is?”
And there it was. The real reason he was here.
“Funny,” Doug said. “I get asked that a lot.”
Zach frowned at him.
“Corey’s not here,” Doug said.
Zach took a slow step toward him. “I haven’t heard from him since...in a while. I know he had appointments today. Why isn’t he here?”
“I don’t know, Zach. I’m his neighbor, not his keeper.”
Zach nodded, forcing a smile, but he looked crestfallen. “Okay. Thanks anyway. And ah, I’m sorry. Again.”
“You all right? You need a ride or something?”
“Nah.” He shook his head. “Got my car. Thanks anyway,” he said, pointing to a red compact parked on the street in front of the house.
“Okay, see you later, Zach.”
“Bye.”
Doug watched him get in his car and drive off. Damn, that boy was smitten.
Doug heard Stewart come home just after dinner time. Part of him wished he’d come downstairs and talk to Doug, but he didn’t. Doug tried to accept that things would be upended for a while, but it was hard. Despite their night together, despite all the words spoken, the truth was he still didn’t know what the hell was going on between him and Stewart.
Patience
.
Easier said than done. Because Jairo was right. Doug was completely, insanely, and quite embarrassingly, head over heels.
Chapter Eighteen
Work was crazy busy Monday morning, so Doug didn’t get a chance to sit down until well after lunch time. The design guys tended to over-engineer everything, drafting unnecessarily complex, crazy-shaped brackets just to show how talented and artistic they were, and then Doug was expected to figure out how to make them with a hammer and chisel for a dollar apiece, with management breathing down his neck.
But he was grateful for the distraction, it took his mind off his love life, or lack thereof, depending on how things worked out.
The rest of Doug’s week went pretty much the same way. His days were busy, and his nights were quiet. Too quiet. Stewart hadn’t called him, but Doug also hadn’t seen or heard his van. It seemed he was definitely gone from the house. He’d really done it, moved out.
Late Wednesday, he heard Corey’s sports car pull into the driveway. He peeked out his bedroom window, watching him carry a duffle bag into the house.
For the next few days, he was aware of Corey coming and going out the back door, and timed his own exits so they wouldn’t coincide. He wasn’t going to avoid Corey forever, but for the time being, he wasn’t too keen on running into him.
It was Saturday before he finally heard from Stewart. A text message, which struck him as rather formal, considering Doug’s cock had been in his ass.
‘
All moved in. How are you?
’
Doug wanted to just call him, but he figured if Stewart wanted to text, he’d follow along, not push his boundaries. ‘
I’m good. You okay? Do you need anything?
’
He carried his phone with him while setting up his meditation stuff. He needed it bad today, annoyed that Stewart’s sudden absence was affecting his mood. And he missed him. He kept getting a whiff of his scent in the bedroom, and that deep longing would churn in his stomach. He wanted to
see
him, damn it.
His phone beeped with a new text from Stewart. ‘
All is well. I’ll call you sometime soon.
’
Doug frowned at the words on the display. “What the fuck?” he said. “Call me now, asshole.”
Stunned by his own anger, he took a deep breath. He turned his phone off and left it in the bedroom, then went back to the alcove to meditate. Settling in, he worked to clear his mind, starting his mantra.
One
...
one
...
one
...
His mind didn’t have much trouble clearing. He’d gotten good at controlling and casting out the thoughts that crept in. But something was off. It was a sad feeling deep in his heart, mingled with anxiety.
And it was familiar. Every time he’d worried where Harry was. Every time Harry stayed late at work. Every time they fought about his secret phone calls and the mysterious finger-shaped bruises on his body that he claimed to have gotten at the gym.
Why was he feeling that anxiety now? Stewart hadn’t done those things to him, Harry had. And Stewart was doing exactly what he’d told Doug he was going to—taking some time for himself. It wasn’t like he’d betrayed Doug. He hadn’t lied or misled him. The guy was getting out of a three-year relationship. Doug knew this, and had gone into it with open eyes. And he was surprised that things felt a bit off? Of course they were, considering the situation. But still, that feeling...
Doug’s mood sank lower as something occurred to him. He’d only ever felt this way when he was with Harry...when he was
in love
with Harry. So maybe love was the culprit. He’d gone and fallen in love with Stewart, and now that old crap feeling had sneaked back in when he left the door open.
He felt foolish now that he’d added ‘finding a boyfriend’ to the list of things he wanted in this new life, his fresh start. How the hell could he have forgotten so quickly? Love made you feel like shit! Hell, maybe Kelly Ingham had the right idea. No kissing. No small talk. Just a couple of vodkas, then drop and roll.