Gypsy in Black: The Romance of Gypsy Travelers (29 page)

His hand closed over hers. 
The gesture did not startle her
as if would've in the past.  Inst
ead, she welcomed it. 
“
S'hara,
it is not a man's place to tel
l a woman such things.  Perhaps
that is why no one spoke of it to you.  You have been sick, yes?
 
Especially when you awake?
”
  He waited for her nod. 
“
And
your...
”
  A faint rose color shado
wed his dark face. 
“
Well, your
monthly hasn't come, yes?
”

Did he mean her menstruation
?  Suddenly, the obvious struck
her, forcing her heart to twist with dread
.  She whispered,
“
Emilian
...
”
but was unable to say more.

“
You are with
child, S'hara.
”
 

She stared at him as if h
e were a ghost.  It made sense,
yes.  Too much sense and oh God,
she thought, no!  Sahara jumped
up, starting to run away but
Emilian
quickly g
rabbed her.  Whirling
around, Sahara faced him, tears
streaming out of her eyes.  It
was the shock that frightened her m
ore than her actual situation. 
“
Pregnant
?  I don't want to be!
”

Emilian
wished she wasn't eit
her.  The next few months would
be hell for her. 
“
There are some
things you must know, S'hara. 
The gypsies believe many t
hings different than your gadjo
culture.  When a woman is carryin
g a child, she is
dirty and im
pure.  During that time, she is
mahrime.
”
  He
waited for his words to settle before he spoke again.  The tears stopped and
Emilian
could see the f
ear being replaced by a growing
anger. 
“
A pregnant woman is curse
d, S'hara.
”
  Mahrime.  The word
no longer sent chills down his spi
ne.  But he could read the pain
and anger in her eyes.  He k
new how she felt.  Too well, he
thought.  His pain had been for m
any years now.  Hers would only last
another couple of months.

“
You mean no one is goin
g to talk to me until...?
”
  She
couldn't even finish the sent
ence.  A baby?  The thought had
never crossed her mind.  After travelling with the gypsies for
almost four
months, Sahara had
totally forgotten her
menstrual
cycle
,
which had always been
irregular.
She never gave it a consideration.  Yet, the gypsies had all known and no one bothered to tell her
.   They had just withdrawn into their world without so much as a word.
 
Glaring up at him, Sahara spat out,
“
If they're going to igno
re
me, I don't want a baby!
”

“
You have no
choice, S'hara.
”
  The stern, con
descending tone returned to his
voice. 
“
You must live with t
his, S'hara.  It will not be so
long.  Probably until the new year, yes?
”

“
New Year!
”
  The word stuck
in her throat. 
“
There's going
to be some changes around here
.  I'll leave before I live the
next
five
months in silence!
”

Emilian
tried to calm
Sahara down.  He knew from past
experience this was one tradition no one would overlo
ok for the
gadjo-gypsy girl.  Not even
Nicolae
.
“
You must understand, S'hara. 
They are very strict about a woman with
child.
”
 

She lifted her head defiantl
y, refusing to meet his gaze as
she tried to regain her dignity.
A man, her brother-in-law, had
been the one to tell her.  How co
uld she have been so ignorant? 
Perhaps, she thought, if my mothe
r hadn't died and my father had talked to me of
such things. 
“
I
've changed past traditions.  I
will change this one, too.
”
 
This time when Sahara turned to
leave,
Emilian
let her go.  He wa
tched her bend down to lift her
package into her arms.  Her figur
e was still slender, no hint of
her pregnancy, most likely because of her morning sickness.
  As if aware of
Emilian
's thoughts, Sahara spared
him a glance before she hurried across the field toward the camp.

Her angry stride caused seve
ral people to look up as Sahara
stormed through the center of the
gathering area.  A small crowd
of younger woman moved out of her
way, their mouths hanging open
as their eyes followed Sahara's ba
ck.  She refused to acknowledge
their curious stares. 
Instead, Sahara walked up to an
unsuspecting Bossa.  Sahara sta
mped her foot impatiently until
the woman looked up from her two nose-
running children.  Bossa
glanced around quickly, uncerta
in of Sahara's intentions.  The
two women had avoided each o
ther since their first and only
confrontation several months ago
.  Hoarding her children behind
her full skirts, Bossa met Saha
ra's fierce eyes. 
“
What do you
want, bori?
”

Sahara responded with
a curt question. 
“
Where is my
husband, romni?
”

Bossa glanced toward one of the wagons but quickly returned
her gaze
to Sahara's furious stare. 
“
I do not know, bori.
”

A satisfied smile turned Sa
hara's lips up at the corners.
“
Your eyes to not lie as well a
s your tongue, romni.
”
  Without
another word, Sahara turned on her
heels, walking straight to the
wagon and
Nicolae
's location
that
Bossa had carelessly given away
with a stolen glance. 

Sahara thought she recognized
the wagon as the one belonging
to the
Rom Baro
's but she wasn't sure nor did she care a
t that
particular moment.  Her dry feet s
tomped up the wooden stairs and
her knuckles rapped sharply agai
nst the shut door.  She stepped
back, waiting for someone t
o answer the door.  When no one
responded to her knock, she flung the door open, bursting in
to
the wagon.  The air was steamy and
stale.  The two men, squatting
on the floor, looked up at Sahar
a's unexpected intrusion.  They
wore expressions of surprise. 
No one ever interrupted the
Rom Baro
meeting with his son. 

Nicolae
started to jump to his fee
t but Sahara blocked him
.  Her blood boiled under her skin.  Standing over
Nicolae
,
Sahara tried to open her mouth
to speak but her rage held her
tongue.  Both men stared at h
er, their mouths hanging open. 
Sahara's body began to shake until she fina
lly exploded. 
“
How
dare you!
”
  She leaned forward, sh
aking her finger in his shocked
face. 
“
You've known for weeks now, haven't you?  Haven't you?
”
 
Her voice grew shriller and her fa
ce redder. 
“
All along you knew
why I was being shunned!
”
  She shook her fist in the air. 
“
Well,
God as my
witness!  If you don't
lift this
mahrime off my
head, I'll run
and you'll never see this baby!
”

Spinning around, Sahar
a raced out of the wagon, tears
staining her dusty cheeks.  She fled past the women.  Sah
ara
didn't care what they thought o
f her.  Nor did she care if
Nicolae
let her run off.  She'd take her ba
by and raise it the gadjo way. 
Any way, she thought, just as lo
ng as it wasn't the gypsy way. 
Swallowing a sob that crept into her throat, Sahara realiz
ed how
emotionally starved she was.  The gypsy way had drained
her both
physically and mentally.  No
longer would she be the dutiful
wife.  No, she thought with tears
in her eyes.  I will leave and
raise this child on my own.

The canvas almost ripped as she th
rew it roughly aside and
hurried inside.  She had to escape
before
Nicolae
tried to stop her. 
Slamming the trunk open, s
he began to gather her clothes,
throwing them in a pile on a sprea
d blanket.  Practically leaping
upon it, she tied the corners, making a s
loppy sack.  Cursing as
she lifted it over her shoulder
, she managed to get out of the
tent before
Nicolae
appeared, shovin
g her back inside.  Furious, he
eyed the large bundle in her hands. 
“
Where do you believe you
are going?
”

To Sahara's dismay,
Nicolae
block
ed the only exit out of the
tent.  If she tried to crawl unde
rneath, she knew he'd be on top
of her in a minute.  Her th
oughts rambled on irrationally,
quickly analy
zing
the scenario. 
Nicolae
had trapped her.  Again. 
“
Let me by!
”

“
Sahara!
”
  His voice boomed
in her ears.  Cringing, Sahara
kept her shoulders straight, ac
ting strong.  But he frightened
her.  The slant of his eyes and th
e way his chest rose so rapidly
terrified her like he had so many
other times.  But this time was
different.  His eyes had
grown darker and his hair was
disarrayed.  Murder was writt
en across
Nicolae
's face as his jaw
trembled, restraining himself fro
m striking his wife.  He had to
think of the unborn child. 
“
Yo
u answer me, S'hara!  You think
you can leave?
”
 

His anger evoked the
slightest satisfaction from
Sahara.  At least he was paying
attention to her. 
“
What do you c
are anyway?
”
  With an indigent
toss of her shoulders, she wa
lked away from him, stopping in
front of the center post.  With
her back to him, she traced her
finger over the soot stained glas
s in the lantern. 
“
You haven't
spoken two kind words to me in
a month
!
”
  She glanced over her
shoulder, eager to see his rea
ction.  His face remained stone
cold.  Disappointed, she dropped h
er hand and narrowed her eyes. 
“
You could have at least told me!
”