Authors: Brian Chikwava
Moschino Parfum
– I see it on one of them vendors' shelf at
Brixton Market. I'm on my way to graft but I buy it straight away.
£5. That's because yesterday Tsitsi and baby come back home.
She have been given heap of papers about how to feed baby healthy
diet and also been telled to stop feeding powder milk to baby
because that's where they think he catch the salmonella from.
From the market I step off to graft with hands in my pocket.
I get to my graft and I start working my tail off cleaning every
surface in Tim's kitchen. I have just start to work on the other
side of the counter, doing them two tables with dishcloth, when
them kids come in again. I give them powerful look. One of them
whisper to others and everyone turn they heads. Suddenly they
go kak kak kak.
None of they mothers has ever cook supper for me; I jump for
the broom and they scatter out like rats. I go kak kak kak kak.
Tim give me this vex face and jump into this funny style of
talk: yari yari yari you can't do that or you get me in trouble with
police; yari yari yari maybe if you stop using water in the pail for
cleaning tables maybe it will help; it's the same water that you
have use to clean the floor yari yari yari.
'Don't just walk away, I haven't finished talking,' Tim shout
because I ignore his talk. Ricardo is just holding his head down,
hiding his throat, frying his life away and not wanting to get
involved.
Tim press some button and his till open; he count money quick,
slam the till shut and hold his hand out to give me the money.
'That's it,' he say.
'Me I know about the law now; you can't tell me to go away
like so. You have to compensate I know it,' I tell him straight and
square.
'OK then. You're fired, mate!' he shout and open till to put
back his money.
'Me I'm not going nowhere, daddy,' I tell him and step off
into kitchen with hands in my pockets. He look at me funny.
£2,700, that's the number inside my head; I am ready to throw
it at him if he want to negotiate.
Now he start trying to confuse me, talking fast and mixing
proper English with his cockney and I can't hear even one thing.
Me I let rip in Shona and now things is square. That get his head
out of gear and he get red like fire extinguisher. Now he start
calling police on his mobile phone and spin them long jazz number
about how I do threatening behaviour. To prove that me I am
peaceful person I leave the place and let the truth come out. Truth
is like termite; you don't catch it by its head while it try to come
out of its hole or it go back and you don't see it again. I leave it
crawling all over Tim's face and I can tell he don't know what to
do with it because he is surprised what hole it crawl out of so
fast.
'You hungry?' Sekai ask and I say yes. Now she run like animal
to get me plate while I smoke my cigarette like big tycoon. That's
life. One time you is blue because your plan is sinking just because
of big fat white man, then few hours later you have new big chance
landing on your lap like them ancestors is looking after you. That's
where I am. Sekai and Paul's house.
After leaving Tim's me I did not want to go home or else I
end up turning Aleck into bar of soap. And because last week
Paul say I have mail waiting for me to collect at they house, I
step off there.
Sekai was shocked to see me and ask me what I want when she
open the door. You never ask relative what they want unless your
manners is in your pocket, but I don't tell she. I have been knocking
on the door for donkey years while she ignore. I don't give up because
I know she's there inside; she new car is parked just outside the door.
'Paul is away and I'm busy.' That what she say in short and
sharp manner, standing with one hand on the door like she is
ready to slam it in my face. But now she is running like animal
for me. Things change fast.
'I come to get my letters,' I tell she when and I arrive throwing
them glances like there is something behind. Suddenly there is
loud bang and she get big fright and turn around forgetting about
me. I step inside and the bookshelf that lives in the corridor is
face down on the floor and the books is all over. Standing and
looking like he had just swallow some wasp was that tall Russian
man with small briefcase in his hand and wearing shirt with
mismatched button and hole. How he knock down that thing I
have no idea because even rhino cannot knock it down.
Sekai's face full of vex and defeat then and all them defiant
stares have disappear. She recover from shock and tell Yakov to
leave the books alone because she will deal with it. She say it in
sharp and vex way; Yakov nearly jump.
She then go inside toilet and lock sheself up leaving me and
Yakov looking at each each. He look down at his shoes, he look
up at the ceiling in this wooden way, clear his throat but say
nothing. He hope that I will say something to make atmosphere
easy. Me I say nothing.
I get box of cigarettes out of my pocket, light up and offer
him nothing.
He do one short burst of the fast blinking style that Londoners
do when they want to avoid eye contact. There is sweat beads on
his forehead. He have three long hairs sticking out of his nose,
pointing in random directions.
Sekai come out of the toilet and Yakov is relieved. She have
puff eyes but better temper. She ask if I remember Yakov and say
he have come for cup of tea and I nod my head tight with skill.
Things was already shifting my way then.
I look inside lounge, I notice that there has been some big
feast, with heaps of food on lounge table.
Sekai say nervous goodbyes to Yakov and me I go sit on the
couch. Poor Paul, he don't know that he is pounding front bum
that have already been thief by this pointy-headed Rasputin. But
life is never fair, me I know. Paul is away in Ireland for few days
because of work.
Then Sekai come inside lounge where I was smoking like coal
train and she see all this food on the table that she had forget
about. I don't refuse it when she offer it to me. That's why now
she run like animal to get plate for me. Now she know I am proper
relative that have to be respected.
I eat my food silent. I don't say nothing even if I know Sekai
want me to say something.
'Get me salt.'
She run, Sekai. You see me stepping down the street with my
knock knees and drainpipe-like trousers and you think I am lightweight.
But my style weigh as much as hippo, Sekai know now.
She come back with salt shaker and say she have headache so
she want to sleep and that I should look for my mail that is in
the kitchen.
I don't say nothing. After I finish eating, I collect my letters
and shout goodbye from the corridor but there's no reply from
they bedroom. I step off to make plan.
* * *
Uncle's letter, this time it say people at Mother's village is being
beat up by Green Bombers and police to force them away.
Propaganda excuses, that's all this is, I know.
I get to our house and already there is message for me from Sekai
on Shingi's phone.
Shingi also want to know when I will buy more food for us;
these days I don't waste money because I have to save, otherwise
I work for food if I'm not careful. I run to buy tin of baked beans
and semolina so Shingi can fill his stomach once.
Sekai. She want to see me 'urgent' at she work tomorrow at
the hospital.
She is looking like sharp knife when she come out to meet me,
Sekai. She is giving me them funny side looks, all full of smiles
like I have never see from Sekai. She drag me to other end of
reception hall so we can sit down at table at the coffee bar.
'You OK?' she say after short pointless talk.
'OK.'
'Have you got graft now' she ask.
'Yes. But I have leave.'
She start spinning me this number about how she don't want
to hear that I have die of starvation yari yari yari. She is now
suddenly talking sweet to me like I am she best friend ever. Me
I play along; she is now giving me them Bambi eyes like this is
our secret.
'Yes, money have slip away,' I tell she. I can sniff sniff them
pounds dropping out of she purse.
In short time we is good best friends because even when she
is laughing she now start to throw she head back like she is having
good time with my company. Me I bawl into the ceiling like old
friend, giving she the high five and people on other tables start
to turn they heads wondering what this party is all about.
She dip into she purse and drop me £50. I don't want to throw
the number that I didn't get chance to throw at Tim because that
will frighten she.
'Drop us £600. Things is tight at our house and me I have to
find new accommodation but I have no money to make deposit
for the room that I want.'
She blink she eyes at me. Me I tilt my head, you know in that
sweet way so she can get the score.
She say '£500,' and get up to run to cash machine outside to
get me more while I drink my Fanta.
'Next time you should also remind the Russian doctor that he
is the one that should be dropping them pound notes and not
you because you is my cousin's wife,' I tell she as we part. 'We
have to hit this white man's pocket together until he cry for
forgiveness.'
I get back to our house and I am in high spirits and I try to cheer
up Shingi and give him the chance to chew my ear about why the
long face when Harare North is such great place to live.
By next month me I will be back home, I tell Shingi. Three,
four coffee visits to Sekai and I'm on my way.
Bad news for Sekai but that's life; life is never fair, me I have
100 per cent proof inside my suitcase. You think you is frying
bean sprouts and suddenly bang, you find yourself frying barbed
wire nails.
Shingi is looking worryful now because he have just read letter
from his mother, MaiShingi. Things is no more sweet like they
used to be because now some bad wind have start blowing inside
she house; she husband and his son, Chamu, have whip up bad
vibes between each each and now having supper without intervention
of riot police has become impossible. Chamu is just being
difficult to his father because the old man have no money to send
him to Harare North where everyone is going, I tell Shingi. Shingi
is lucky because his uncle, Sinyoro, is the one that buy him air
ticket. That must make poor Chamu feel like he is left out and
now he come with poor excuses for his vex. Even the excuse that
Chamu give for the row is poor. It all start when his father decide
to go and get membership card for ZANU–PF party because there
is food shortage and these days some things you can only get in
certain shops that want you to first show your ZANU–PF membership
card because they is owned by party people. Chamu now
start all this grand talk giving the old man hard time and accuse
him of having no morals by carrying ZANU–PF card. But then
he eat the food the old man have buy with party card. When
things get really heated up Chamu end up moving out of they
new house that they have just build on new stand, and he start
to survive on thiefing the aluminium street-name plates so he can
sell them to coffin makers who use them to make coffin handles.
Now the police have catch him and he is languish in remand prison
and MaiShingi have no money to get lawyer. I am feeling sorry
for Shingi, but then I see it too late that he have herd me into
funny corner.
Can I borrow some money? he say.
Now there's funny silence. I want to get out of this situation
but I not know what style I have to tackle Shingi with.
Shingi get me vex. I squeeze £500 out of Sekai and six hours later
£200 of it have been wired to Harare to save arse of stupid opposition
party supporter. This is the same kind of person that the
boys have spend long time trying to teach how to think and he
still can't come to proper way of thinking. Punishment is the best
forgiveness for traitor. That's what Comrade Mhiripiri say. I should
never have allow my money to go to bail Chamu. But me I have
to keep focus because now I have to make commando-style plan
on Sekai and Rasputin. Before the next full moon, I have to be
is out of this place.
'All that matter is that we love the baby,' I tell Tsitsi. 'And we
don't want him to die of lack of food when we is here.'
Tsitsi don't want to take the money straight out of my hand
because she is still snorting and wiping tears, so I put it on
cupboard for she to take when she ready. I leave she alone in
kitchen and step off to our room to sit on my suitcase again.
Things is going bad for Tsitsi. She baby have start growing new
teethies and he cry all the time. Tsitsi exhausted by all this and
she village madness come out now. She sing careless in the kitchen
all alone, with baby on she back, but sometimes she is not singing,
and you only notice this when you get close to she. I pick it by
accident. That's after I have been trying Sekai's mobile phone
dozen times and it keep going to voicemail. I am sitting on my
suitcase waiting and I hear Tsitsi singing again.
When I go into kitchen she stop singing. She baby is on she
back as she make food for it.
'The rat. I try to kill it but I miss it with that,' she say, pointing
to broken broomstick on the cupboard but without looking at it.
It's like she want me to do something with the broomstick. She
keep she face looking outside kitchen window. When I look proper
into she face she swallow hard and I see there is tears in she eyes.
'What's wrong?'
Tsitsi don't talk. The broomstick thing was to stop me coming
near she so I don't see she is crying.
She say she don't know any more why she is crying. That's
because these days when she cry, even under she blankets at night,
she always end up crying about she baby no matter what have
cause she to start crying. And she don't know why. But she say
she love she baby now, not like when it was newborn when she
even look for pit latrine in London so she can throw it away.