Hard as Stone (Passion in Paradise: The Men of the McKinnnon Sisters) (52 page)

Eyes widening as
she watched his tanned hands go to his leather belt, she blinked slowly.  “You
don’t actually think….”

“I’m done with this
shit,” he muttered, bending as he jerked off his boots with quick hands before
shoving his jeans and boxers down his legs.  Hooking one hand around her waist,
he put her over his shoulder before she could finish her question.

“Put me down, you
son of a bitch!” she screeched as he swept one long arm out to open the plastic
shower curtain and climbed over the side of the porcelain tub.  “I swear to
God, I’ll scream the house down, Jake.  I want you to….”

Sitting her down
with a jarring thud, Jake pushed her under the spray with one hand while he
slapped his other palm over her still moving mouth.   “That’s enough, Wildcat!”
he growled, wincing when her teeth closed around his flesh and bit.  Backing
her against the wall, he held her with one palm and the bulk of his body while
he kept his other hand over her mouth.  Her eyes shined with the promise of
grim death if he turned her loose and he knew that he was finally getting
somewhere when she softened against him.  “Go ahead, keep biting me, babe,” he
invited harshly against her ear.  “All this temper tantrum is gonna do is earn
you a spanking.  Is that what you want? I promise I won’t do any permanent
damage, but I swear to you that you’ll remember to sheathe those teeth before
you come at me again.”

Suddenly, Harmony
released his hand from her bite, staring at him with scornful eyes as the water
drenched her hair and her chest rose and fell quickly underneath his splayed
palm.  “Smart choice, darlin’,” he remarked quietly, slowly moving his hand
from her mouth.

When she opened her
mouth a second later, he’d been prepared to hear a lot of things.  He’d
expected her to scorch his ears, to curse him at the top of her lungs, maybe
even throw a punch.  He hadn’t been ready at all for the choked sob she made as
her body pitched, her legs unable to support her. 

He caught her
before she could face plant in the bottom of the tub.  Instead, he controlled
her fall, going down to his knees behind her when she slid to her haunches,
folding her legs under her ass and wrapping her arms around her body.  Wrapping
his arms around her waist from behind as her head bent, her chin resting on her
chest, his heart broke when her first ragged cry echoed in the shower.  “Baby,”
he whispered, resting his nose against the nape of her neck as she shook in his
arms.

“The first man I
ever thought I loved raped my baby sister, Jake.  I was married to that man.  I
went to bed with that man.  I had a daughter with him.  I trusted him for a
long time.  And that same man kidnapped, raped and tortured my baby sister.  He
was able to do that because of
me
.  ME!” she wept, her cries wracking
her body as she rocked back and forth, warm water skating off her skin.  “I’m
responsible for this!  Every fucking bit of it was able to happen because I
brought him into this family!  I can’t let it happen again.  I can’t!  I
can’t!
”
she keened, her raw cries rending through her small body as she quaked in his
arms.

Tightening his arms
around her, he pulled her back against his chest.  “Harmony, this isn’t your
fault.”  He felt her soggy hair rubbing his throat as she shook her head
against him.  “Baby, it’s not.  It’s not your fault.  It’s not Zeke’s fault as
much as
he
tried to convince me otherwise.  It’s not anyone’s fault, but
Tanner and the four other men that attacked Honor.”

“How can you say
that?” she gasped through her tears.  “I brought him here.  I might as well
have handed Honor over to him on a silver platter.  God, I hate myself,” she
sobbed.

“Stop it,” he
growled against her ear, his arms contracting around her.  “You didn’t do
this. 
He
did this and as God as my witness, I’ll make sure he pays for
it, baby, but I can’t stand watching you try to shoulder the blame for the
actions of a psycho piece of shit.  Can’t you see that you were as much a
victim as Honor was?  I saw the pictures, honey.  I read the medical and police
reports.  I’m lucky that fucker didn’t kill you the night you confronted him. 
That bastard could have taken you from me before I ever found you.  He could
have taken Heaven from us before she ever arrived.  He’s going to pay for every
single thing he’s done, but none of it, Harmony…none of it is your sin to carry
around like an onus on your back any more than it’s Honor’s or Zeke’s.  Jesus,
that poor bastard is as determined as you to hold himself responsible for what
happened six years ago.”

Lifting a hand,
Harmony wiped her wet cheeks.  “It’s not Zeke’s fault.”

“Not yours either,
but you’re determined to take responsibility for something you had no control
over, too.  Go figure.”  Jake reached for the sponge on the shelf above them
and squirted some of the smelly soap from one of the many fancy looking bottles
on the ledge into it.  “Seems to me this is a family trait that you guys have
going here.”

“He’s always felt
guilty. He was the last one to see her before… before…”

“I got it,
darlin’,” Jake murmured, sliding the sponge against her back as she bit back
another sob.  “Still doesn’t make him culpable.”

“I know that.” 
Harmony sighed, her shoulders slowly relaxing as he worked the soapy sponge
over her shoulders.  “I’ve never thought Zeke was to blame for anything. 
Neither does Honor.”

“You might have to
remind him of that for the next few days.  Ice and I got him calmed down once
we got him outside, but there is a new hole in the side of your barn that I’ll
need to take care of sometime tomorrow.”

Looking over her
shoulder in alarm, Harmony’s eyebrows lifted.  “What happened?”

“Well, it started
with Zeke hurling a log through it and then he decided to add his fist for good
measure.”  Shrugging, Jake slid the sponge down her arm.  “I can’t blame him. 
If Honor hadn’t been inside the house, it would have been worse.”

“God,” Harmony
moaned, closing her eyes.  “Is his hand okay?”

“His hand’ll be
fine, babe,” Jake assured her calmly, squeezing the excess water out of the
sponge over her neck.  “It’s a little bruised, that’s all.  He’s with Honor now
and believe me, he’s not gonna be moving from her side all night.  Cain was
taking Faith home when I came upstairs.  Ice was escortin’ Miss Orla to her
house and was gonna grab a couple of hours shuteye himself.”

“And Patience?”

Jake snorted. 
“When last I saw Patience and Abel, that poor bastard was trying to pry her
bottle of tequila out of her hand and get her into the car.  Don’t worry.  He’ll
take care of her.”

“Yeah, but will his
idea of taking care of her end with him turning the gun on himself?” Harmony
muttered, leaning against him in spite of herself. 

Jake laughed.  He
couldn’t help it.  He had a feeling before Patience and Abel ever found their
way to happiness, they were all going to enjoy a long, drawn-out show. 
“They’ll be okay, Harmony.  Everyone’s going to be okay.”

“You don’t know
that,” she argued, shaking her head.

“No, you’re right,
I don’t,” he admitted softly.  “But I’m gonna do my best to see that they are,
Harmony.  You just have to trust me, Harmony.”

“No, I really
don’t, Jake.  I don’t have to trust you.  I don’t even have a reason to trust
you.  Not a single one,” she pointed out tiredly, climbing back to her feet inside
the shower. 

Turning her toward
him, Jake growled, “Look at me, Harmony.  I’m standin’ here naked as a jaybird,
beggin’ you to just give me a shot.  You think I do that for every woman I’ve
been involved with?  Not a fuckin’ chance.  If she didn’t like my explanations,
if I ever chose to give her any, I never gave a damn.  I just moved the hell
on.”

“Then move the hell
on,” Harmony snapped, her wet hand flying out toward the shower curtain.

“That’s what I’m
trying to tell you, damn it! I
can’t
.  I love
you. 
Nobody,
Harmony,
nobody
save my family has ever had that from me.  That’s why
I’m still standin’ here.  I get that you’ve been hurt.  I accept that you don’t
trust your judgment.  We’ll work through it, and I’ll prove myself to you.  But
I’m tellin’
you
,
that you don’t get to show me heaven and take it
away from me.  I warned you that once you gave yourself to me, that this was
the way it would be.”

“You saw what the
last man I let in here did to us,” Harmony whispered, her eyes never leaving
his face.  “He ripped Honor and me apart.  You witnessed the fallout tonight.”

“I did, baby, but
I’ll remind you as many times as it takes you to get this; I’m
not
him. 
I’m never gonna become him, and even with everything that’s gone down, I know
I’ve never given you a single reason to think I’d be like him.  You judge me
based on the things that I’ve done, Harmony.  Yeah, I fucked up and kept the
fact that I was a DEA agent from you.  I didn’t spill my history or tell you
the reasons that brought me in to Paradise.  I should have prepared you, and
I’ve got to live with the fact that because I didn’t that bastard was able to
get to you, Heaven, and Honor today.  I fucked up.  If I’d known everything,
though…if I knew then what I know now, you have to know that I would have done
things differently.”  

Cradling her face
in his hands as the water cascaded over them, he held her confused eyes with
his.  “Whether you know it or not, you’ve got all of me now, darlin’.  The good
and the bad.  There’s nothing else.  I’ve never given that to any woman before
you.  I couldn’t.  Cards on the table?  I never trusted any woman enough to
know all that makes me who I am.  Not until you.  Don’t tell me that when I
finally work up the courage to offer that to a woman…
my
woman, she’s
gonna throw it back in my face.  I made mistakes, baby, but did I do anything
that can’t be forgiven?”

Determination
shined in his eyes, but behind that, there was something else.  It was a
softness that she never saw when he looked at anyone else except Heaven and in
her heart, she believed every word he spoke.  “No,” she allowed painfully, her
heart skipping a beat as she realized she truly still loved him.  “You haven’t
done anything that couldn’t be forgiven.”  Leaning her forehead on his chest,
she realized how exhausted she was.  “I knew if I let you in my heart, you’d
complicate my life.  I knew it,” she groaned, rubbing her nose against his
hairy chest. 

“A wise man once
told me that fallin’ in love was easy.  Stayin’ there, though, that’s where a
man has his work cut out for him.  Not everybody can do it, but he said when
you found the right woman… a woman who was worth the backbreaking ache, then the
work was worth the pain.”  Bending his head, he touched his lips to the top of
her head.  “You’re the right woman, Harmony.  I know you are.”

Her arms wrapped
around his waist and Harmony tilted her head back to meet his tender gaze. 
“Who told you that?”

“My dad,” he
replied.  “Smartest man I ever knew.  Still thought he was full of shit about
all that, though.  Right up until you walked into my life.  Then, I knew. 
Everything he said was true.”

Staring up at his
loving face, Harmony wanted what he offered her, the unconditional love and
support that she saw burning brilliantly in the depths of his eyes.  She wanted
it so badly she could taste it.  She wanted to return it to him.  Her heart
hammered in her chest as she felt him against her, warm and real and alive. 
“You think I’m worth the pain?” she whispered, her arms tightening around him.

“Even the pain is
sweet with you, darlin’,” Jake replied gently.  “So, yeah, I’ll take the pain
if it means that I get you with it.”

“I really hope you
mean that.” Harmony buried her face against his chest.  “I think it’ll break me
if I find out later that’s just a line.”

“I’m a tactless
bastard, Harmony.” Jake chuckled against her temple, his arms embracing her. 
“I don’t think I’d know how to deliver a believable line.  I love you.  It’s
that complicated and that simple, darlin’.  Almost the second I met you, I knew
that you were the one for me.  And everything I’ve done since then has been to
try and convince you of that, too.  I’ve got a whole highway of regrets, honey,
there’s no denying that, but none of them are going to stop me from making this
work with you.”

It wasn’t fair not
to tell him how she felt in return, but the water had shifted from hot to
lukewarm to downright chilly in the length of time she’d stood in the shower
with him.  “There’s more to say, but I’m freezing,” she murmured, pulling away
from him.

Jake nodded,
reaching a hand out to twist off the water.  Reaching for one of the fluffy
towels on the rack outside the tub, he patted down her glistening body quickly,
rubbing away the water droplets as she stood shivering in front of him.  When
she was dry, he wiped down his own body and climbed out of the tub behind her. 
He took another dry towel from her and wrapped it loosely around his waist as
she slipped on the robe that had been hanging on the back of the door.

Picking up his
discarded clothes, he lifted his head to stare at her face.  She didn’t seem
quiet as tense and not nearly as angry as when he’d locked them inside the
room.  He hoped he’d gotten somewhere with her; he knew for certain he had when
she murmured, “You need to be downstairs before anyone wakes up, but you could
stay…I mean, if you wanted you could…”