He shrugs and flips an egg. “If you want to play it like that, that’s fine. Just know you’re not fooling anyone but yourself.”
I narrow my eyes. “Can you please leave?”
“Are you always this grouchy in the morning?”
“Grouchy isn’t the word,” I say, but when he picks up a piece of bacon and bites into it, my stomach grumbles. I snag a slice of bacon from the frying pan, and blow on it to cool it down. “Annoyed, definitely. Maybe even violated given you stayed over last night without my knowledge.”
He laughs. “Baby, you wrapped yourself around me in bed last night and wouldn’t let go.”
“I was sleeping,” I remind him.
“And looking very beautiful while you did, too. But if there was any violation in this apartment, that would be what you did to me last night.”
“What did I do to you last night?”
“You rode me hard. Again. Plus, you gave me a piece of you, more than your body but a piece of
you
, then tried to take it back.”
“I have no idea what you’re talking about.”
But I can see by the look on his face he knows I’m lying. I
did
give him a piece of me last night. I’d allowed myself to open my heart to him, just a little, thinking he’d never know, but somehow he’d figured it out.
I have to be far more careful if we are going to continue playing this little game of ours. Because I don’t have it in me to quit.
Not yet.
He eyes me as he moves the eggs from the pan and onto two paper plates. “I’m content with waiting for you to figure it out.”
“I hate mind games,” I warn him and grab the plate he passes to me.
“I find that ironic given you’re so good at them,” he mumbles.
“Excuse me?”
“Nothing.” He jumps backwards, his ass landing on my counter.
I’d protest and tell him to take a seat at the two-person kitchenette table, but I’d be a hypocrite. I’m always sitting on the counter. I jump onto the counter opposite of him and stick a fork into my eggs.
“Take a bite,” he suggests with a wide grin.
I cut into the egg and raise the fork to my mouth. It’s really good, with a slight hint of spice. “It’s good. What did you season it with?”
“That’s a secret that will go to the grave with me.” He pushes a slice of crisp bacon into his mouth.
I shift my attention to the spice rack, and there are two missing spices: red pepper flakes, and soul seasoning. “I’ll get it out of you sooner rather than later.”
“Good luck with that.” He scrapes the remainder of the food from his plate, stuffs it into his mouth, and then lowers his plate into the empty sink. “What are you planning on doing today?”
Suddenly remembering my upcoming “lesson,” my appetite vanishes and I put my plate down beside me on the counter. Maybe I look as queasy as I feel because his brow furrows.
“Alyssa, what’s wrong?”
I shake my head and force a smile. “Nothing.”
I jump off the counter and my bare feet land against tile. Moving past him, I grab my phone from the entry table in the hall, and scan for recent calls or messages. I find the one I’m expecting, but not one I’m hoping for.
Axel is watching me, eyes and body alert. “Waiting to hear from someone?”
I decide to tell him part of the truth. “I haven’t heard from my friend Marley. A stripper at Sugar Bare. She was messed up the night I met you. I was supposed to tell Walt she went home sick. She was going to stay gone for a few days and we were going to talk, but I haven’t been able to reach her.”
His brow furrows. “You’re worried something happened to her?”
“No. Not really. I mean, I have no reason to think that. Maybe she’s just been busy. But I don’t know where she lives, so I can’t check in on her.”
Axel nods. “That sucks. Hopefully she’ll get in touch today. Which reminds me, what have you got planned for today?”
The guy’s relentless. But I’m stubborn, too. No way am I telling him that today is the day I start my first pole dancing lesson. Mr. Prince set it up weeks ago, but I’d put it out of my mind for the most part. It was only when Axel asked me what I was doing, and I’d known I had something scheduled today, that I’d remembered. “Oh, this and that.”
He rolls his eyes and braces his hands along the edge of the counter. “You are so difficult.”
“I’m independent.”
“Same thing, right?”
“I suppose a man like you might think so. Which is why I sometimes want to kick your ass.”
“Don’t you know that when a girl kicks a guys’ ass, it usually means she’s into him?”
“Uh, no.” I smirk. “I don’t think that’s how it works.”
“Then tell me how it works.”
“Why don’t you tell
me
how it works?” Moving back into the kitchen, I reach for a glass from the cupboard and fill it with water, then return to my spot on the counter. “I’ve seen you fight twice now, and it would seem you know a thing or two or a hundred about kicking asses.”
“Yeah?” He cocks his head to the side and studies me, as if he’s trying to figure out all my secrets. “Does my asskickery turn you on?”
“Absolutely not,” I lie. I take a sip of water, and watch him roll his eyes, like he doesn’t believe me. “But tell me your story.”
He shrugs again, but his grip tightens on the counter. “There’s not much to tell.”
“Bullshit.” I lower the glass against the counter. “No one learns how to fight like that without a damn good story.”
“Well, maybe I don’t want to share my story until you share some of yours.”
“Me? I thought you’d figured me out already. I’m a poor fragile girl, terrified of being alone, forced to work at a strip club to pay the bills and unable to protect herself without a big, strong man to take care of her.”
“You might not need a big, strong man, but you have one, and said big, strong man will take care of you if he deems it necessary. Every single time.”
I stare at him, and his expression is dead serious.
“Why?” I whisper. “Why are you so intent on protecting me? On getting to know me?”
“Because from the minute I saw you, you reminded me of an angel, and every second I’ve spent with you since has done nothing to change that.”
I’m stunned by the honest emotion I hear in his voice. By the true respect and affection he seems to harbor for me. “You don’t
know
me, Axel.”
“No, but I want to. I’m trying to.”
I look around desperately, but my gaze is drawn back to his. Who is this man? I want to know everything. I want to know who the Anne is whose name is marked on his skin, but I don’t have the nerve to ask. So I ask the other question burning at my curiosity. “Fine. You want to get to know me? Then answer me honestly. Where did you learn to fight like that?”
“I was in the military.”
“Really?” For some reason, it’s the last thing I’d expected him to say. He’s a bike-riding rebel, and doesn’t strike me as someone who likes taking orders. On the other hand, he seems to have an inherent need to protect others, and what better way to do that than kicking ass and taking names as a soldier for the U.S. government?
It’s only a tidbit of information, but it’s nice to dig beneath the surface level, if only a little. “I’m sure you instilled fear in many a man’s soul.”
“Yeah, I sure did.” He forces a smile, but his grip on the counter tightens even more, his fingers beginning to turn red.
I sense that this may not be the easiest subject for him to talk about, so I try to lighten the mood. “I think it was probably hard for you to take orders,” I say with a light laugh.
But he doesn’t laugh in return. Instead, he looks even more serious than ever. “You’re right.” His eyes drift to the ceiling and I watch as he swallows a hard breath. “Especially when my orders directly conflicted with what I believed to be right.”
This conversation is getting far too heavy. But he’s being honest, and it’s reeling me in.
“I can see how that would be a problem for you. You’re such an honorable guy.”
“Is that sarcasm?”
“No.” I shake my head furiously and once more jump to my feet. “I’m just saying that, I don’t know you, but I know things about you. And I know that you’re a good guy.”
“Really?” His frown dissolves into a warm smile as I approach him. “Can we keep that between the two of us?”
“Cross my heart and hope to die. We don’t have to talk about this anymore,” I assure him as I lay one hand against his thigh, comforting him. “I get the sense that maybe it’s hard to talk about.”
“It is…” he says softly. “Sometimes.”
“Right.” I nod my head. “But if you ever
want
to talk about anything…” I hesitate, knowing that what I’m about to say completely goes against my attempts to keep things unemotional between us. But I can’t help myself. I can’t stand knowing he might have a well of pain inside him and that he’s too proud to share it with someone to ease the burden. “I mean, if there’s no one else, you can talk to me.”
“Yeah?” He spreads his legs and pulls me in close, his hands massaging my shoulders.
“Yeah,” I whisper.
“Thanks. But…you have terrible egg breath,” he jokes. “Absolutely dreadful.”
Maybe because I’ve done it so many times myself, the fact he’s using humor to deflect my attempt to get closer to him is all too transparent. But unlike the way he bulldozes past my walls, I decide to let it lie. “How dare you? I’m going to kick your ass,” I mock threaten.
He caresses his hand up and down my side. “Please, make my dreams come true.”
He leans down, nuzzling his nose against mine.
My mouth hovers next to his ear. “I thought I already did.”
He cranes his head so that our mouths are a mere inch apart, the heat between the two of us a tangible thing that makes me sigh. “When it comes to you, I have many unfulfilled dreams.”
I’m tempted to take his hand and lead him back into the bedroom. Or maybe we can do some of that fucking on the couch or against the wall I was talking about. Hell, maybe fucking on the counter would be a nice little adventure. “We’ll have to do something about them.”
“Because I’m sexy?” he inquires.
“Huh?” I take a step back and he leans back against the cabinets behind him.
“Is the reason you want to do something about my dreams because I’m sexy and fun?”
“What you are is too damn confident in yourself,” I chuckle and take another step back.
“Because I can fulfill you in bed like no other man ever could, or ever will?”
“You’re not the only man on Earth, Axel,” I point out. “But you
can
make me scream, and that’s enough reason right there to fulfill your dreams.” Because they’d be fulfilling my dreams, too.
“Making you scream is not something I’m about to forget.” He jumps from the counter, and his body is pressed against me in an instant, pinning me against the laminate counter. “And there you go, trying to make things all about sex again.”
“And you have a problem with that?”
“Nope. No problem. Because in this game of cat and mouse, I know I’m going to win eventually.”
“Is that so?” I breathe against his neck, accepting his challenge.
He nibbles his teeth against the lobe of my ear, and my entire body shudders. “See that?” he questions as he pulls away from me. “I’m not worried,” he reiterates.
He’s right. There’s something about him that I can’t resist, although I’ll lie to myself and to him, and say that I can. I can’t quite put my finger on what makes him so irresistible, but I have a few hunches.
Gorgeous eyes.
Ripped abs.
Beautiful smile.
Hard chest.
Plus, he made me breakfast, and nobody has ever made me breakfast outside the realm of those obligated to do so, like my father.
Still, I know what I need, even if it’s not what I want. Who wouldn’t want to get close, really close, to a man like Axel? To learn his secrets? To be the one that comforts him in bad times, and celebrates with him in good ones?
But that’s not what I
need
. I
need
hot sex with no strings attached. It’s nice to get to know the stranger beneath the face, but it doesn’t mean I’m going to give him another piece of myself anytime soon.
I just have to remain steadfast in my resolve.
And fight as dirty as I know Axel will.
Chapter Thirteen
Axel
We’re back on opposite counters, shooting the breeze, talking about nothing too important, and nothing too deep. We laugh occasionally, just genuinely enjoying each others’ company.
She belly-laughs after I tell her some cheesy joke I once heard over in the desert, and for once, she seems completely open and relaxed, as if she’s actually lowered the protective walls she hides behind so well.
And then her phone beeps loudly and vibrates on the entry table. Her smile fades and she hops to the floor to pick up her phone, her eyes glancing over the screen.