My hand falls to my belt as I make my way to her, but she swats my hand away and takes control. With haste, she undoes my belt first, and then my button and fly. She pushes my jeans down my hips, followed by my black boxer briefs.
My erection springs free. She’s lost in the moment, her eyes focused squarely on my hard length, but it’s not too long before she wraps a soft hand around my shaft, and I shudder from the touch.
She runs her hand up and down, tracing a path from the head of my cock to the base of my shaft, then running her thumb over the slit.
My knees buckle and I take advantage of my lack of control to pull her up and push her back against the bed.
I kick free from my jeans and boxers, and tug her shorts down her legs.
Under the light of the moon, which paints Alyssa and the bed like some kind of modern film noir, I get a glimpse of what heaven looks like.
She angles her knees in the air, and glides her panties down her hips. I lunge forward to assist her, ripping them down the remainder of her long, silky legs.
Here we are, both stripped bare for the second time in as many nights. Somehow, it doesn’t feel real. I might be one hell of a cocky son of a bitch, but I feel like I don’t deserve her. She’s too perfect for someone like me, and that makes me want her all the more.
“What are you staring at?” she questions as she rises to lean against her elbows. Her gaze pulls me inside out. The entirety of her existence is one huge contradiction after another. Yeah, she’s as pure as white snow, but she’s also this crazy sexy devil. She’d have a complete stranger—one who doesn’t frequent the club—believe she’s a relationship girl, and not a
hooking up
girl. Yet she’s using her sexuality as a way to connect with me while still keeping me at arm’s length. And I want to close that distance she insists on keeping between us.
“Seriously,” she scolds me. “Are you just going to sit there and stare, or are you going to do something about it?”
“You don’t know what you’re saying, girl.” I climb over her body, and my cock caresses her inner thigh as I bring my mouth to hers. She steals my breath with ease, without effort, and without hesitation. Her teeth sink into my lower lip when I try to pull away to speak. “You want my cock?”
“Do you want my pussy?” she shoots back.
“Answer my question.” I shift my weight, pressing myself against her opening.
“I want your cock.”
“How bad do you want it?”
She tilts her head to look me straight in the eyes. Angelic eyes. Devil eyes. It doesn’t fucking matter. It’s all the same, and I can no longer wait to be inside her.
I push against her opening, and sink into her slowly. She gasps, digging her fingers into my back, clawing at my skin as I stretch her wide.
Fuck, it feels so good. Nails digging into my back are my second biggest turn on. There’s nothing quite like it, the knowledge that the only way the girl beneath me can hold onto reality is to hold me as tight as possible. Fuck, the pleasure from the pain is enough to send me over the edge.
And over the edge I’d go if I were finished with her.
I’m not.
This right here isn’t just about sex, not to me. I mean, of course it’s a huge part of our relationship. Nothing beats getting off inside a sexy woman, but it’s not
only
about sex. It’s about making her scream, and showing her what she’s missing without me. It’s about taking her to the brink, and leaving her wanting more. It’s about making her want me to own her, just like I said I would.
By the look on her face, it would appear as if I’m halfway there.
Once she’s filled to the hilt, I pause to let her adjust to my width. Her chest heaves, her mouth quivers, her body shakes, her fingers come to rest at the small of my back, and she closes her eyes. Waiting for the ride to begin, but soon she’ll be praying it never ends.
“I told you,” I whisper, my voice ragged and shaking, “I’m going to make you change your mind.”
“Really?” She deliberately sinks her nails into my back. The muscles in my back arch as I shift into her touch, reveling in the pleasure. “Right now, all you’re—”
By the look on her face, I know she’s about to say something snarky, so I cut her off with a quick pull outward, and then slam back in, burying myself completely.
She lets out a combined yelp and moan that sends my blood pumping through my veins in overdrive. So fucking sexy.
“What were you saying?” I flash a wide grin, but don’t wait for her to respond before repeating my long hard thrust. A pure moan is ripped from her throat this time.
I pick up my speed, but continue the same rhythm. I want to make her feel safe and comfortable, to make her not question my next move. I want her to get lost in one melody, so that when I change the pace, she’s left screaming.
“Fuck,” she moans softly, her eyes clenched shut. I shift upward so I can get a better view of the way her face contorts with each careful thrust. So I can see the way I can turn her inside out. See the way she craves my touch in the same way I crave hers.
And just when I’m sure I’ve got her right where I want her, I lower my hands and push her legs into the air. Her eyes flash open, and a curious look passes over her face. I brace her feet against my shoulders, and begin a slow retreat.
Her mouth drops open as I pull my cock from her and then slam back in. Her world goes dark as she forces her eyes shut. In this position, I’m able to thrust in harder and deeper. The rush of excitement sends a shiver down my spine and sweat begins to pour off me. When it’s all about to be too much, and I can feel myself about to break, I know I have to do something drastic to stop myself from coming too soon.
I glance down to see my cock disappearing into her pussy, which is the worst possible thing I could do at this particular moment. I’m past the brink, past the point of no return and as I begin to shoot my warm seed into her, I strain the muscles in my face and my entire body, trying not to give myself away.
I nudge her legs aside just in time to collapse on top of her, but I continue thrusting, riding the waves of my release. She wraps her arms around me tight, and I enjoy the feeling of her embrace for several minutes as I catch my breath. Then I push myself up on my arms, my hands digging into the sheets on either side of her head.
“Sorry,” I say quietly, even as I keep moving. “I’ve never come before a woman since I was a teenager, but I’m not done.” In fact, I’m still hard inside her, and she nods dreamily in response to my reassurances. But there is more I need to reassure her about.
My guess is she’s on the pill but I prod, “I’m clean as a whistle,” I say.
For a second, her eyes clear and widen. “Me too,” she says quickly. “And I’m on the pill.”
I grin. “That’s good. Because the feel of fucking you bare is indescribable.”
I pump into her, slow and steady, until she’s clutching me and arching her hips to increase my speed. When I don’t accommodate her, she does what she did last night, switching our positions so she can ride me.
I steady my palms against her hips, guiding her as she bucks her body against mine. She’s close to her own orgasm now. I trace my hand to the inside of her thigh, and flick my thumb against her clit. Her mouth drops open, and a toe-curling moan rolls across her lips. I take my free hand and push a finger into her mouth. She rolls her tongue around my flesh and creates a vacuum around my finger, sucking on my flesh as the bucking of her hips becomes more erratic.
Her mouth rips open into a howl of pleasure as she throws her head back in ecstasy. She comes around my cock, her pussy tightening around my hardness, and suddenly, I’m ready for round two. But the sight of her face under the shade of the moonlight distracts me from the world.
I’m too lost in her to notice my own need.
Or maybe it’s just I already have what I need most.
Not my own release.
Hers.
Her wrapped around me.
Squeezing me.
Loving me.
Again and again.
Forever.
* * *
Once she came down from the high of her orgasm, she climbed off me, rolled onto her side, and pulled the blanket over her. “Goodnight,” she whispered.
It was at that exact moment, I realized that somehow the roles in our relationship—whatever our relationship is, or is going to be—had flipped.
I want more than sex.
I want her to fall asleep on my chest, instead of turning away from me when she’s finished with me.
She’s using me for my cock.
This isn’t the way this is supposed to work. I’m the one who’s supposed to be doing the using, so what the hell does that say about me?
All I know is the more she resists, the more I’m hell-bent on proving to her that she needs me.
“Can you please lock the door when you leave this time?” she whispers, and I can’t help but roll my eyes. She really is the typical man in this relationship. Hit it, and quit it, and then she wants me gone.
Too bad for her, because I’m not going fucking anywhere. Except maybe slumber land for a little bit. Sometimes, it’s next to impossible for me to sleep, because of the shit I’ve done and the shit I’ve seen. But I imagine that falling asleep next to her shouldn’t be too difficult of a task, because isn’t that exactly what we all need? An angel to watch over us? All this time, I’ve thought of her as an angel.
Now I think of me as hers.
Her guardian angel.
And I’ll fucking die to protect her.
Chapter Twelve
Alyssa
I’m not surprised that Axel is gone when I wake; but I am surprised by my disappointment. I’d made it clear that I wanted nothing more from him than sex. So the hollow feeling in my stomach at the realization I’m alone makes absolutely no sense.
Maybe I am surprised he left, after all. Last night, he seemed hell-bent on proving that I need him in my life. Kind of hard to do if he’s going to fuck me then leave, even if it is what I asked him to do.
God, I’m a lunatic, I think. The guy’s better off without me.
My eyes shift to the late morning sun streaming through the window and casting a white glow in my bedroom. My disappointment aside, I feel an odd combination of buzzed and serene, still reeling from the intensity of last night, but also reveling in the peaceful space that is my apartment.
I raise my hands to my eyes to clear the sleep from the creases, but I realize something’s off. My nose twitches. What’s that smell? I sniff the air and cock my head toward my bedroom door.
Eggs? Bacon, too?
My heart beats faster and I’m suddenly smiling.
Axel stayed.
I throw the covers off and jump into a pair of shorts. I find him in the kitchen with a white apron covering his bare chest.
“Good morning, beautiful,” he says through a shit-eating grin. “How do you like your eggs?”
Any way you make them, I think, but I stop myself from saying the words out loud.
I press my lips together and turn around, staring at my open bedroom door. What the hell am I doing, skipping out to greet him with a smile on my face? I need to play it cool. I need to remember why I have to keep things just about sex between us. I have too much in my life—my dad’s health, my non-existent acting career, and my approaching stripping career, for starters—to deal with someone like Axel, who’s already said he wants to “own” me.
With new resolve, I take a breath, then turn back around. He’s staring at me and there’s still a hint of a smile on his face.
“Anything wrong or are you always this weird in the morning?”
“I’m always this weird,” I mumble. “But what the hell are you doing?”
He holds up a spatula. “What does it look like I’m doing?”
“Cooking. But why?”
“I was hungry,” he says as he puts down the spatula and picks up a fork to flip a row of bacon. “Figured you might be hungry too.”
“Axel, this isn’t what I told you I wanted.”
“Don’t worry.” He points to the door. “I locked the door.”
I bite my lip to keep from smiling again. The smart ass. “You were supposed to do that on your way out.”
He shrugs. “I needed my beauty sleep. Plus, didn’t make sense for me to leave when I was just going to be back today anyway.”
“Is that right?”
“That’s right. I’m finding I want to get to know you better. Outside the bedroom.”
I cross my arms. “You mean you want to fuck on the couch? The floor? Against the wall? I’m game.”
He puts down the fork and shifts his weight against the counter beside the stove. “Ah, I wondered how long it would take you to try to put me back in the ‘we’re just having sex’ box. Didn’t take long at all.”
“That’s because that’s all we
are
having, Axel,” I point out.
“What are you afraid of? That you might develop feelings for me and I’ll bail?”
“Afraid?” I shake my head. “I’m not afraid of anything,” I lie through my teeth. I’m afraid of a thousand and one things—my father dying, spiders, snakes, heights, motorcycles, and getting close to anyone just to get hurt again. But he does not need to know any of that. I could only imagine if he knew. He’d take my biggest fears and run with them, telling me I had to face them in order to live life to the fullest. I’m just trying to survive one day at a time.