Harlequin Heartwarming May 2016 Box Set (16 page)

After all she'd experienced out here in Kenya's wilderness, visiting Busara and living alongside the very elephants she'd written about, that earlier article sounded hollow even to herself. As much as it would have stirred public curiosity and put pressure on people to act, it had been missing something. Something that was flowing onto the page now. Emotion. Insight.

She paused briefly to take in the chatter of primates she knew were spying on her from the branches of the fig and elephant pepper trees. She couldn't see them and it didn't matter that she couldn't identify them. All that mattered were the sounds.

It hit her that no dictionaries or universal translators were needed. If she let go and listened...really listened...she could understand every click, chatter, grunt and whistle that filled the air. They were the sounds of contentedness and belonging. They were the bustling sounds she imagined would fill a family's home during a reunion or holiday.

They were the sounds of life being lived.

Here, she wasn't standing safely behind a window looking out on the natural world. Here, she was in it. A part of it. And though she still felt like an outsider, something about being here felt right and whole and more beautiful than any part of the designer—and safely designed—life she'd been living. She finally understood why Mac loved it here. He didn't fear life...he embraced it in a way that was enviable. She now realized that all the times he'd teased her and tried to get her to take a plunge, he'd been trying to get her to love life. To feel free. He was trying to share a bit of joy with her and she'd refused. And now...oh, God...now she wished he were sharing this very moment with her. He'd understand what she was feeling and experiencing without her having to put it into words. For the first time, emotions she'd always held back flooded her.

Mac was a good man. He was everything she admired and respected and he knew
her
...her faults, weaknesses and strengths. And still, he was sticking by her side and Nick's. She could be herself around Mac. She'd never hated him. She'd hated being afraid that something would happen to him. She'd cared too much. She more than cared now.

A splash sounded and she peered across the camp toward the river. A young hippo had found relief from the sun's heat. She smiled. This place was amazing. Inspiring. She felt like Karen Blixen writing
Out of Africa
. Out here, she didn't have to care about gaining anyone's approval to write what she wanted. She was writing for herself and because she
had
to. She needed the release. She felt the urge to put her life to paper before—like Karen, who'd left her plantation home in Kenya—she'd have to leave Kenya, too. She wanted to write down everything that had happened and all the signs she'd overlooked with the very man she'd been living with. She had to express every emotion that had choked her during Ben's interrogation. If things turned out badly...if in the end she had to go into hiding...or if something worse happened to her...she wanted her experiences to get out there. Words were eternal. If the true story she was putting to paper ever made it out into the world, then at least she would have made a difference.

“Hey, Aunt Tessa! Look at this!”

Nick came running over, his hair swept out of his face by a spare AWS cap worn in reverse, and held out, of all things, an egg. Tessa raised her brows.

“What laid it?”

Nick stared at her like she was nuts.

“A chicken. What else?”

“Okaaaay...” Not some exotic Serengeti bird or snake or something? He was ecstatic over a chicken egg?

“I was helping fix this pen made out of these really thorny branches from the acacia trees—Mugi said it's called an
enkang
and it's how the Masai people make pens to keep their livestock in because the thorns discourage predators—and while I was helping, one of the hens laid this. I actually watched it come out of her.”

Ah. Now it made sense. The cool part.

“You should have seen it, Aunt T. Her vag...”

“Hey! Watch it,” Tessa said, holding out her palm to stop him. “That's not what it's called on a hen.”

“Whatever. Her
rear
got all pink and stretchy and...”

“Gross. Stop or you'll ruin me for eggs,” Tessa said. His enthusiasm was so unexpected. Seeing him light up like this was truly wonderful, amusingly ironic as it was: Nick traveling deep into the wild Serengeti to see something as ordinary as a chicken laying an egg. She really didn't want to hear the details, though. Nick didn't care. He kept going.

“It was all wet and she just squatted there until it dried. It's still warm. Here. Touch it.”

“I'll pass,” Tessa said. She was appreciating “experience” but she did have her limits.

“I'm going to eat it. Kesi said she'd scramble it up for me. Talk about fresh.” He winked and Tessa was floored. Mac had himself a clone.

“Mugi...”

“Mr. Lagat. It's more polite,” Tessa said.

“He told me to call him Mugi. Anyway, he said that if you and Uncle Mac are okay with it, he could teach me to shoot a rifle and drive the jeep.”

Now that was pushing it. Tessa set her pen and notebook down.

“You're thirteen,” she said as she slipped her sneakers back on. “Isn't that illegal or something?”

“He's a lawyer, Aunt T. I think he'd know. We're in the middle of nowhere and the gun wouldn't be for hunting. I told him you guys would lose your heads over that. It'd just be for emergency protection. Even Uncle Mac keeps one. Wild animals—pythons, hyenas...”

“For the record, I scared that hyena off without a gun.”

“Aunt T...remember, you want what's best for me, right?” He gave her a smug grin. “And it's not like driving a jeep would land me in jail. There aren't any police or traffic rules out here. Plus, I have great hand-eye coordination from all the console games I play and practicing driving here would be safer—no one to hit—so when we go back and I really learn to drive, I'll be better at it. More expert,” he said, shaking a finger at her. Tessa sighed.

“I'm beginning to wonder what you have more of—Mac's thirst for adventure or Mugi's knack for arguing a court case.”

“If I have both, does that make me twice the man?” He took off sniggering with the warm egg before she could comment.

That boy was something else. Bringing him out here was the best decision she'd ever made. The only right one, too.

She started down the path toward the cottage, but remembered her journal was sitting out. She doubled back, put it inside and headed back. The aroma floating on the air told her that Kesi had already started cooking and Tessa had promised to help out in exchange for lessons on how to make some of the dishes. She'd lost track of time while writing. Kesi appeared on their porch and waved.

“I'm sorry I forgot. I'm ready to learn,” Tessa called out. Kesi shook her head.

“Mac called to make arrangements for a family that was looking for an overnight excursion. He's bringing them back with him. I could use your help.”

Her help. She was needed. Valuable. No longer an outsider. It felt wonderful. She smiled and picked up her pace.

“Consider it done.”

* * *

T
ESSA
DUSTED
OFF
the bistro-size table and chairs in the tent that stood about five yards from hers. Kesi was spreading fresh linens on one of the beds. These tent accommodations were a little larger than hers. Large enough for two beds instead of one, so that families with younger children could stay together.

“Are you really looking for snakes?” Tessa asked as Kesi took a quick peek under the bed.

“I really am. We've never had an issue, but you never know. One can't be too careful.”

Tessa had seen a copy of the release forms Mugi had guests sign. Apparently, he'd drawn up the ones that Mac used for his business, too. They were fairly comprehensive and had plenty of warnings about risk, potential injury...death. Not that different than what some of the ladies back home had talked about signing just to get their noses fixed.

“Brave parents, they are, coming out here for five days with twin nine-year-olds. I'm not sure I could do it, but I suppose it would depend on the children,” Tessa said.

“It's not so bad. You visited Busara. You should have seen it years ago, when Anna first came out here. She was pregnant at the time. She got through her pregnancy and raised Pippa while living in conditions that make these look like a five-star hotel in the city. And the entire time she put her veterinary skills to good use. When we first moved here, I thought we'd made a mistake, but after a while...and after the cottage was built...it really became home. I can't imagine being anywhere else.”

Tessa started on the second bed, then stopped and checked underneath. No snakes. Thank goodness.

“You've definitely made Camp Jamba a home. It's incredible. Nick is loving it. He really gets along well with Mugi and he's in heaven with your cooking.”

“He's a great kid. He'll be all right,” Kesi said. “What about you?”

“Me?” She thought for a minute, remembering how she and Nick had felt their first day here. Things had really changed. “You know, I'm truly enjoying my time here and there's something fulfilling and exciting about helping you get ready for visitors. Thank you for letting me help,” Tessa said. She was being sincere. There was joy in being here and in anticipating getting to share the wonders of the place with others, especially the younger generation. Nick might have some fun with the visitors, as well.

Kesi fluffed the last pillow.

“I meant, will you be okay?”

Tessa stopped smoothing the bedding.

“I'll be okay. It's just that I get these moments where I feel guilty for everything going through my head. Everything I'm doing. When I got married, I vowed ‘until death do us part.' I made a commitment and for most of that time, even if things between us weren't perfect, they were good. He was good. People make mistakes, right? People make wrong choices. Who decides when someone deserves a second chance and when they don't?” Tessa was so confused she wasn't even sure if she was wondering about Brice or herself. She sat down on the chair near the bed.

“My dear, only you can answer that for yourself. No one knows your life and what goes on inside you as well as you do. Don't feel judged or guilty. It's hard to share a life when you don't share the same morals and values. It makes it even harder to raise a family or to get through the bumps. There can be a false sense of security and comfort in the familiar. Change is hard and stressful and can even seem impossible. It's not until you're surrounded by people who share your beliefs, values and morals that you realize you've been in the wrong place or with the wrong person. That you're not where you're supposed to be in life.”

“How do you know this for sure? You and Mugi look so happy and so perfect together. I can't imagine you ever suspecting him of criminal activity and having your life here destroyed.”

“I'm thankful that's not the case. But life is unpredictable. Even we don't know what's in store for us in the future. Not with one hundred percent certainty, even if that's what we feel in our hearts.” She leaned back against the dresser and looked pointedly at Tessa. “Once upon a time, I was engaged to another man. Then I met Mugi and I felt as if I'd been swept away in a flood. It took me time to get the courage to make a different choice, but with Mugi, I knew I'd met the man I would drop everything for and move to the ends of the earth with, and I knew he'd do the same for me...and here we are. Is that how you feel?”

“I'm not sure.” If she had felt that way when she met Brice, wouldn't she remember? “Brice and I just happened. He was introduced to me at an animal cruelty prevention event—a fund-raiser—and he kept calling me and taking me out after that. He made me feel special.”

“I didn't mean him.”

Tessa looked up from where she was tracing the engraving on the chair's arm with her finger. Her pulse tripped in her chest. Was Kesi implying that something was going on between her and Mac? That she had feelings for him, the kind Kesi had had for Mugi? Tessa's face heated and she licked her lips. Did Mac make her feel like she'd drop everything and move to the ends of the world with him? The answer swirling in her head scared her.

“Why would you think...?”

“The way you look at him when he's not looking at you and vice versa. I've known Mac a long time. I've never seen him so...so grounded, for the pilot he is. I've never seen him act like a family man. Ever. Until you and Nick arrived. You've been a good influence on him. I see a lot of change in you, too, since you first arrived. You're so much more relaxed.”

Her? A good influence on a man like Mac? That notion would have been laughable back when they were kids. If anything, when she'd tried to influence him...tried to tell him to listen to his family and stay home in South Africa...he'd bolted and never returned. If she was changing him in any way, he'd end up resenting her. Was she giving off signals without realizing it?

“I don't know what you mean. Mac is Mac. Always has been and always will be. He looks out for people and is passionate about his life here in Kenya. If anyone—
anyone
—came to him with the possibility of bringing down a poaching ring, he'd have been on it just like he's been with my situation. The only thing making it more personal is Nick.”

Kesi sighed and gave the tent one last perusal, then motioned for Tessa to follow her out.

“If you say so. Maybe you're right,” Kesi said.

“I am. Kesi, please don't imply anything is going on. I'm still married. It's...it's just wrong. I can't go there.” Guilt pounded through her veins. What was she doing?