Harlequin Romance April 2015 Box Set (42 page)

“I’m sure you aren’t the only one who thought that love was enough to iron out all of the wrinkles in life. Sometimes love runs out of steam and the wrinkles are all that remain.”

He turned to her, his eyes full of turmoil. “But it’s more
than that. When I learned that Gianna wasn’t interested in having kids or living here at the vineyard, I didn’t take it well. I thought when we married that it was understood that we would start a family and I would keep working at the winery.”

“But she wanted her dreams, and they were a long way from the vineyard.”

He nodded. “She wanted to travel the world and write stories of our
experiences. She said there were people that became professional bloggers for a living. She thought since I did well in English class that I would be able to do this. What she didn’t consider was that I hate to write. I can do it for the winery blog, but it is out of necessity, not want.”

To Jules, he was a hands-on guy, one who didn’t mind rolling up his sleeves and getting dirty—actually
he probably preferred it. As for kids, Jules imagined he’d make an excellent father. He had the patience and the temperament to help them reach their full potential. If only she could be like that... But this wasn’t about her, and there was more to his story. Of that she was certain.

“What happened to your wife?”

“Things had been deteriorating between us for a long time. I’d finally
moved into the bedroom next to hers. She’d threatened to leave numerous times, and I always talked her out of it, certain that there had to be a way to fix things. But I just didn’t know what the answer was.” He sighed deeply as though he’d been carrying around the weight of the world on his shoulders. “Then one stormy night, she prepared dinner, but I could tell that she had something on her mind.
Neither of us ate much, and when my father made a quick exit to his room, her anger and frustration came tumbling out. She said that she got an email from one of our classmates, and he was about to set sail around the world.”

Jules’s insides tensed with foreboding. His tone grew softer as though he had disappeared back in time to that fateful night. She wanted to pull him back to her—back
to the present—but she couldn’t. If they were ever going to make a future for themselves, then they had to get this all out in the open.

“What...what happened next?”

He gave Jules a quick glance as though she’d startled him back to reality. Then, in a hollow, pained voice, he continued, “Gianna said that she was tired of waiting for me. She was losing time, time that she could be off
exploring the world, discovering new things. I...I asked her if she still loved me.”

Jules’s heart pinched. She knew the answer, and she was willing to bet that he’d known the answer before he had even asked the question. The backs of her eyes stung again, and she blinked repeatedly to keep her tears of sympathy from splashing down her cheeks. She didn’t want to make this any harder on him.

He drew in an unsteady breath. “She said she didn’t love me. She...she didn’t know if she ever truly did because I wasn’t the man she thought she’d married.”

Jules squeezed his hand tight. She wanted to offer words of comfort, of encouragement, but they clogged up in her throat. This story was going to get worse, much worse. She lifted her head and tried to subdue her emotions. In the
otherwise clear blue sky, one lone cloud floated over them, blocking out the sunlight.

Stefano massaged the back of his neck. “I was hurt and I was angry. Most of all, I was tired—tired of all the fighting. Tired of trying to find a way out of the mess. Tired of feeling so miserable. And that’s when I made the worst mistake of my life.”

The air was trapped in Jules’s lungs as she waited
for what happened next—what had turned this fine man into a shadow of the outgoing person everyone told her he used to be.

“I told Gianna that I wasn’t a man to skip off into the sunset and forget my responsibilities. And that she might as well quit waiting around for that to happen. If she didn’t love me or our life at the vineyard, then she could use the door. I told her I was done...with
her.” He rubbed a hand over his eyes. “And with our marriage.” He dropped his face into his hands. “Why did I do that?”

“You can’t blame yourself for being honest with her.”

His head jerked up, and his distraught gaze needled her. “You don’t know what you’re saying. If only I hadn’t lost my patience—if I’d tried to reason with her, none of it would have happened.”

“What happened?”

The only sound was the breeze rustling the leaves overhead and a couple of birds singing. Stefano stared off into the distant horizon as though in his mind he was back in that stormy night. Jules waited for the ominous conclusion to his heart-wrenching story.

“For the first time ever, she didn’t fight back.” His voice cracked with emotion. “It was as though my words had knocked the fight
out of her. Gianna ran out of the kitchen. I didn’t want to go upstairs. I didn’t want to confront her again. So I started cleaning up the dinner dishes. I don’t know how much time passed when I heard the car start and the engine rev as she gassed it out of the driveway. I went to the door and ran outside after her. The rain was coming down in sheets, and the wind was turbulent. It wasn’t a night
fit for driving. But I couldn’t stop her.”

Jules’s wrapped her arm around his back and leaned her head against his shoulder. “You didn’t force her out into the storm—”

“But I did. I was the reason she ran off that night. I didn’t give her any reason to stay. If only I’d...”

“Nothing you could have said would have made a difference. She was only waiting for you to give her a reason
to follow through with her threats. She wanted to go.”

“But not that night.” His voice cracked with emotion. “It wasn’t too much later when the phone rang. The car had hydroplaned...Gianna lost control. The...the car went over an embankment.”

How awful. Now Jules understood the shadow that seemed to follow him around and the way he pulled back when he was having a good time.

“It’s
not your fault,” she repeated, willing him to believe her. “She knew what she was doing.”

“But she wouldn’t have been out there if I had thought before opening my mouth. I had all of those months to tell her how I was feeling. Why did it have to be that night?”

“Because she was backing you into a corner. She wanted to go, but she just hadn’t worked up the courage to do it.”

“So
you agree. I’m responsible—”

“No. That’s not what I’m saying. You’ll never know exactly what she was thinking that night. But she was a grown woman plenty capable of making her own choices and the accident was just that—an accident.”

“They said that she died instantly.” His voice was so soft that she strained to hear him. “The coroner said she was pregnant. She was going to have my baby.”
A tear splashed onto his cheek.

Jules leaned forward and wrapped her arms around him. At first, he hesitated, and then his body pressed against hers. Her heart was breaking for him. When he finally got himself together, he pulled back. She reluctantly let him go.

She looked into his bloodshot eyes. “And this is the guilt you’ve been carrying around with you, isn’t it? Every time we start
to get close, you pull back because you’re still blaming yourself for Gianna and the baby?”

“Yes.” His voice took on a weary, broken tone. “I don’t deserve to have you in my life.”

“I disagree. I think I’m exactly what you need.”

When he glanced at her, she ducked her head and pressed her lips to his. He didn’t move at first. She brushed her mouth over his, hoping he’d respond—that
he’d reach out to her. He’d been so alone for so long and piling on the guilt for his wife’s untimely death. She couldn’t imagine what that would feel like. He was a good guy, and he deserved to move on with his life.

His lips moved over hers like a drowning man sucking in some much needed oxygen. He pulled her over onto his lap. His hands on either side of her head. Her hands resting on
his powerful shoulders. Lip to lip and tongue to tongue, the love dance of a lifetime started.

At last the wall between them had come crumbling down. Jules knew what she wanted—Stefano. She wanted all of him, his past and his future. She loved him.

CHAPTER FIFTEEN

“W
E
SHOULDN
’
T
HAVE
done that.” Stefano rushed to button his shirt.

He swore under his breath. Every time he was alone with Jules all his common sense evaporated. Guilt consumed him. He’d meant to explain to her why they couldn’t be together and he’d ended up making love to her instead.

He raked his fingers through his hair. He didn’t dare look at her.
It would be so easy to believe this was the beginning of something—not the end of something very special.
Wait.
Why was she taking this so well? She should be yelling at him—calling him every rotten name in the book. After all, he’d be the first to admit that he deserved it.

Maybe she hadn’t heard him. That had to be it. He opened his mouth to repeat himself, but nothing came out. He pressed
his lips together. Deep down he didn’t want to push Jules away—he wanted to pull her close and keep her there. But that was impossible. And now, after reliving how his lack of good judgment had cost Gianna and their unborn child their lives, he couldn’t do the same thing with Jules’s future. He couldn’t let her wreck her future over him.

No matter how much she’d end up hating him, he had
to set Jules free. It was for the best. “I’m sorry—”

“Don’t be. You were amazing.” Jules pulled on her boots and strode over to him. She smiled up at him. “And I—”

He pressed a finger to her soft lips, not letting her finish. He knew what she was going to say, and he didn’t think that he could bear to hear her say again that she loved him. If she uttered those words, he was afraid the
last of his resolve would crack, and that couldn’t happen.

“You aren’t understanding me.” He averted his face to avoid witnessing the inevitable hurt in her eyes. “You and I aren’t meant to be.”

“Yes, we are.”

“No, we aren’t. Your life is back in New York. You have grad school to attend.”

“Grad school was Lizzie’s idea, not mine. I want to stay here with you.”

He couldn’t
keep arguing with her. She had to understand that this thing, whatever it was, wasn’t going to happen again. She had a life to lead, and it wasn’t with him.

Stefano grasped her shoulders. “You have to hear me. This thing between us is over. After the wedding, you’ll get on a plane back to New York and I’ll be busy preparing for the harvest.”

Her eyes opened wide. “You’re serious, aren’t
you?”

“Yes, I am.”

“But we just shared—”

“A special moment that I’ll never forget. But we have to be realistic. We both want different things in the future. And you don’t even know for certain what that’s going to be.”

She drew her shoulders back. Her eyes glittered with strength and determination. “I know I want you. And you punishing yourself for your wife’s accident isn’t
going to change what happened. You’re a good man, and you deserve to be happy again.”

“I will be when I know that you aren’t throwing away your future. You have the whole world at your feet. All you have to do is choose your path.”

“I choose you.”

He refused to accept her words. She didn’t mean them. In time, she would realize that they were a mistake. “Don’t let your experience
as an intern scare you away from grad school. This world needs people who see things that need changing and aren’t afraid to speak up. The key is not to give up in the face of adversity. Sometimes you just have to regroup and take a different approach. Be the voice of those children who can’t speak for themselves.”

She hadn’t thought of it that way. Was she turning her back on helping countless
children who didn’t have a voice? The thought tumbled through her mind.

“And if you want to be a mother, you can do that, too. Don’t let your past hold you back. I know your life with your mother wasn’t good, but use it as a lesson in what not to do as a parent.”

Jules worried her lush bottom lip. “But what if I’m no good at it?”

“Follow your heart. It won’t lead you astray. You
have good instincts. If you do that, you can’t possibly fail. But remember that no one is perfect. You’ll make mistakes along the way. Everyone does. Just learn from them.”

She tilted her head to the side and gave him a hard stare. “You know, you’re awfully full of good advice for a bachelor.”

“You forget I come from a very big family, and they are all full of advice. I guess some of
it rubbed off on me.”

She was going to make someone an amazing wife. And when the time came some child was going to be showered in love. The image of her with a husband and baby flashed in his mind, causing his gut to knot up.

“To bad you can’t accept advice as well as you hand it out.” Her lips pressed into a hard line.

His hand rubbed over his stubbled jaw as a war raged inside
him. “I wish I could tell you what you want to hear. But I can’t.”

“And here’s my advice to you. Don’t let the past dictate your future. Live in the moment. Otherwise you’re going to miss everything that is good in life.” When he didn’t say anything, she glared at him. “Why do I even try? I give up.”

The pained look in her eyes stabbed deep into his heart. He’d rather have dealt with
some female hysterics than the defeat that was reflected in her expression. She turned, glanced over at the horses and then started walking back to the villa.

“Don’t you want to ride?” he called out to her retreating form.

She shook her head and picked up her pace.

He started after her. He couldn’t let it end this way. He had to tell her that their lovemaking had meant so much more
than he was letting on. It had moved his world and left him wanting more of her.

His steps slowed down. He couldn’t do that. He’d be encouraging her to stay here with him. She’d sacrifice everything. And maybe not today or tomorrow but someday she’d regret it. And she’d blame him.

He stopped. His gaze followed her. He assured himself that this was best for both of them. No matter how
much the sacrifice would cost him.

Because beneath it all, he loved her.

* * *

In the days that ensued, Jules resolved to hold Stefano at arm’s length.

How could she have been so foolish to think that he felt the same way about her? How many times had she been told that men and women looked at relationships two different ways? She knew better. While she was busy letting her
heart fill with love for him, he was enjoying the moment. He wasn’t picturing a future with a picket fence, two-point-five kids and a cat or two or three.

She nuzzled Apricot close to her neck. “You know I’m leaving soon. The wedding is next week. And then my time here will be over.”

Apricot purred and used her tiny pin-like nails to climb up on Jules’s shoulder, where she liked to perch.
The kitten’s happy meter went all the way to the top, and all Jules could hear was the sound of purring. Jules loved the sound. It was comforting and reassuring. Boy, was she going to miss Apricot, this vineyard and—

She brought her thoughts up short. She refused to miss Stefano. He was the one to turn away from her—to dismiss their lovemaking as if it meant nothing. And to think that she’d
blurted out that she loved him. She blinked rapidly. No way was she going to cry. He didn’t deserve her tears.

Wedding or no wedding, she didn’t know if she’d be able to face him again. There were just some things that you couldn’t take back once they were spoken. A frustrated growl rose in her throat. Why, oh, why had she thought Stefano had been the exception to her rule about not trusting
people with her heart?

Her fingers ran over Apricot’s downy-soft fur. There was something so comforting and reassuring about a fur baby’s presence. It calmed her and let her realize that she was wasting her time standing around thinking about Stefano. He was going to be Lizzie’s in-law, and that was all. She’d probably never see him again. Well, that might be stretching it a bit, but their
run-ins would be few and far between.

Speaking of which, she was supposed to ride with him to Rome for the final dress fitting. Her stomach knotted up thinking of sitting next to him—alone with him—for the entire ride. That wasn’t going to happen. She’d get to Rome some other way.

A glance at the time told her that she had to get a move on. A red-and-white-striped sundress flirted just
above her knees. The new white-heeled sandals perfectly complemented the dress. She had to admit that it was a big stretch from her usual black-and-purple ensembles, but she was finding that she was having fun with colors. Maybe she’d hemmed her fashion choices in too tightly. She was actually quite comfortable in the dress. Of course, she’d applied makeup to cover up her scars, but she hadn’t
gone so heavy with the eye makeup. Maybe when she went back to New York, she would maintain this makeover. Or at least switch up her wardrobe now and then.

She reached up and removed Apricot from her shoulder. “You have to be good, okay?”

Those big blue eyes stared at her, looking as innocent as could be. But Jules knew what trouble this fur baby could get herself into from climbing
up on furniture and being unsure how to get down to sticking her paw in a glass of water and tipping it over.

“We’ll just see if Massimo is up to keeping an eye on you. He’ll make sure you don’t get into too much trouble while I’m gone. And you can entertain him. I don’t know why, but he certainly seems to like you, little miss.”

Apricot mewed as if she knew what Jules had said to her.

With a smile, Jules headed downstairs in search of Massimo. Since his stroke, his room was on the first floor, and he spent a lot of time in the living room with the large glass wall that made the room bright and cheery. And that’s exactly where she found him. He was sitting on the couch doing a crossword puzzle. He glanced up and sent her a lopsided smile.

“I see you brought the fuzzy
one to visit.”

“Yes, Apricot is feeling particularly energetic. I was wondering if you could keep an eye on her while I go to Rome. Today is our last dress fitting.”

“Ah, my grandson will be driving you.”

“I think I’ll take the train. He has work to do.”

“DeFiore men don’t put work ahead of their obligations to beautiful women.” Massimo reached out and squeezed her hand. “I
know something is troubling you. Just remember that anything worth having is worth fighting for. Life isn’t easy, and the good stuff doesn’t just land in your lap. You have to work for it and never give up.”

“Are you ready to go?”

She turned to find Stefano standing in the hallway. His face was a mask of indifference. It was the first time they’d spoken to each other since their moment
on the grassy hillside.

“If you’d just drop me at the train station, I’ll be fine.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. I said that I would take you, and I’m ready to go. Besides, there isn’t another train until much later.”

She sighed. The last thing she wanted to do was end up in a fight with him. “I was just asking your grandfather if he’d keep an eye on Apricot.”

“I’d love to.” Massimo
reached out for the fluff ball, and she gently placed the squirming kitten in his hands.

“I should run and get her food bowl.”

“No need. I’m sure Maria won’t mind getting some food.”

Jules glanced around, spotting the litter box in the corner of the room. “And water. I forgot the water.”

“Don’t worry. We’ll be fine together.”

“Are you sure?”

Massimo sent her a reassuring
smile. “Go before you’re late for your appointment. Did you say this was the last fitting?”

She nodded. “We’re taking our dresses home today. Well, I guess I’m bringing both dresses here as Lizzie doesn’t want to take any chance on Dante spotting it.”

“All the more reason for me to drive you,” Stefano piped in. “The dresses would get wrinkled on the train or worse.”

He did have
a good point. “Then we best get going.”

This was going to be the longest ride of her life. There was tangible tension between them, and she didn’t know how to get around it. She didn’t even know if she wanted to resolve it. After all, she hadn’t started any of this. It was Stefano. One minute he wanted her, and the next he was shoving her away and spouting out every reason why they shouldn’t
be together.

If he thought she was the only one who didn’t know what she wanted, then he should take a good look in the mirror. His mouth said one thing. But his body said another.