Authors: Leanne Banks
Once he was gone, Aaron stepped toward him. “That's one pretty girl,” his brother said with a grin, and went for a bear hug. Gabe ignored the comment about Lauren and hugged him back.
When the hugging was over and they were settled on the two sofas, he asked the obvious question. “So what are you two doing here?”
“I'm here because she insisted I come,” Aaron said, and grinned.
“I wanted to see my son,” his mother replied. “And since you weren't returning my calls...”
Gabe glanced at his older brother, looking his usually cocky self on the opposite sofa, and scowled. “I did text and say I was busy.”
“Mom didn't believe me,” Aaron said, and grinned again. “She wanted to see for herself.”
He looked to his mother. “See what?”
“I needed to make sure you were okay,” she said, and gave him a look of concern.
“I'm fine,” he said. “As you can see.”
His mother's mouth thinned. “Are you really? You can tell me if you're not.”
“You came all this way because you thought I'd had some kind of relapse?”
She sighed crossly. “I came all this way because you're my son, and you and your brothers and sister are the most important thing in my life. I won't apologize for caring.”
Guilt pressed between his ribs. “I'm sorry I worried you. But I'm fine.”
“You don't look fine,” she said, and frowned. His mother never was one to pull punches. “You look tired and annoyed, and you're clearly not happy that we've turned up unannounced. So what's going on with you?”
Sometimes Gabe wished he came from one of those families where everyone didn't know everyone else's business. Was there such a thing as caring too much? When he'd been diagnosed with lymphoma, his mother and siblings had closed ranks around him, almost to the point of smothering him with concern. And it hadn't taken long for resentment to set in. Since then, they'd treated him differently, and it irritated the hell out of him. It was as though they'd wanted to wrap him in cotton wool and
fix
everything.
“Nothing,” he assured her, feeling about sixteen years old. “Everything's fine. I'm healthy. I have a job I like, friends... You don't need to worry, Mom. I'm a grown man, and I can take care of myself.”
“I'll always worry,” she said, still looking grim. “It's a given that a mother worries about her children, regardless of how old they are.” She sighed and patted his arm affectionately. “But if you say you're fine...then I believe you. You still look tired, though.”
“I'm just not sleeping great at the moment. Otherwise, I'm in perfect health and have the results of my latest tests to prove it. Please, stop fretting.”
“So,” Aaron said, and stretched back in the sofa. “You're fine. Which doesn't explain why you've been avoiding our calls for the past month or so.” His brows rose questioningly. “What's the story with the pretty blonde with the big brown eyes who you clearly got into bed but who now wants nothing to do with you?”
“Aaron,” their mother chastised. “That's enough.”
Gabe's mouth pressed tight. “My relationship with Lauren is no one's business and I don'tâ”
“Relationship?” His brother laughed and cut him off. “Ha...of course. Now I get it.” Aaron propped forward on the seat and grinned broadly. He looked at their mother. “Mom, he's not sick...he's
lovesick.
”
Gabe found the urge to crash tackle his big-mouthed brother. “Shut up.”
“Aaron.” Their mom said his brother's name again, this time quietly. “Go and eat some cake. I'd like to talk to your brother alone.”
“I'm right,” Aaron said with a grin as he stood. “I know I'm right.”
Once Aaron left, Gabe faced his mother's stare. “Is that true?” she asked gently.
“Is what true?”
She made a face. “Lauren... Are you in love with her?”
Gabe got to his feet and paced around the sofa. “No.”
“But you're involved with her?”
“Not exactly. It's complicated,” he said, and shrugged. “And I don't want to talk about it.”
“Well, that's always been your problem, really...not talking,” his mom said, and sighed. “Just like your father. Not talking about your illness...not talking about what happened at the hospital when you went back to work...not talking about why you broke up with Mona...not talking about why you needed to put an ocean between your old life and your new one.”
His shoulders tensed. “You know why I left.”
“Because you blamed yourself for that woman and her baby dying,” she said gently. “Even though it wasn't your fault. Even though you weren't there.”
“I
should
have been there. I was on duty.”
“You were sick,” his mother reminded him.
“Yes,” he said hollowly. “I was. And I went back too soon. I did everything I would have told a patient to
not
do. I ignored what was best and did exactly what I wanted, and because of that a young woman and her baby died. I am to blame, Mom. It doesn't matter how many times I try to get it clear in my head, or how often I'm told the inquiry didn't find me culpable.” He pointed to his temple. “In here I feel the blame. In here I see her husband weeping over her body. Because I was arrogant and thought I could trick my broken body into being what it once was.” He sighed heavily. “But it's not. And it might never be. I won't pretend anymore. And I certainly won't drag anyone else into that place if I do end up back where I was.”
His mother's eyes glistened. “You mean Lauren?”
“I mean anyone,” he said pointedly. “I saw what it did to you, Mom...watching Dad slowly fade away. It was hard to sit back and for a time watch you fade away, too.”
“Gabe, I didn'tâ”
“We should get back to the party,” he said, and held out his arm. “Before that lousy brother of mine eats all the birthday cake.”
She blinked a couple of times. They weren't done. But his mother knew not to push too much. Gabe led her into the dining room and noticed that everyone was there, standing around the table as Evie prepared to blow out the birthday candles...everyone except Lauren.
Had she left?
He ducked out of the room and headed outside. She was in the front yard, standing on the cobbled pathway by the wishing well, partially hidden by large ferns, arms crossed and clearly deep in thought. Everything about her reached him deep down, into a place he'd never let anyone go.
Are you in love with her?
His mother's words came rushing back. He'd denied it. Because he didn't want to face what it would mean to truly love a woman like Lauren. Aaron had called him love-sick, and in a way that's exactly how he felt. He couldn't define it, couldn't put into words what he was feeling when he was around her. It was like a fever that wouldn't break. A pain that wouldn't abate. His chest hurt simply thinking about her. And his damned libido seemed to be on a kind of constant red alert.
Was that love?
He hoped not. He didn't want it to be. He was no good for Lauren.
“Are you making wishes?” he asked as he approached.
She shook her head. “I don't think I believe in them.”
“You're going to miss out on cake,” he said.
She turned her head sideways. “I'm going to skip the cake. And the party.”
“Are you planning on walking home?” he asked, stepping a little closer.
“It's not far,” she replied. “A few blocks.”
“In those heels?” He stared at her feet for a moment. “I'll drive you home if that's what you want.”
“No,” she said quietly. “You should stay here with your family.” She uncrossed her arms and turned toward him. “Your mother seems nice.”
“She is nice.”
“And clearly worried about you,” she said, and smiled wryly. “I told you to call her.”
Gabe shrugged. “I know you did. I should have listened. She was convinced I had...you know...relapsed.”
“Well, she must be relieved to know you're fine. And I'm sorry if your mother and brother overheard our conversation before,” she said, and Gabe noticed her cheeks were pinkish. “I shouldn't have lost my temper.”
“My mom's cool. And don't worry about Aaron. He's a jerk, too,” he said, and grinned a little. “You'd probably like him.”
Lauren rolled her eyes. “I've decided to give up on handsome and charming men. Too much trouble.”
“Maybe there's something safe in that middle road you were looking for.”
“Maybe,” she agreed. “Anyhow, I'm going home now.”
Gabe reached for her instinctively. He took her hand and wrapped his fingers around hers. “I'm...I'm sorry, Lauren.”
She didn't pull away. She didn't move. She only looked up at him, and in the fading afternoon light, he could see every feature. The morning after the night they'd made love, he'd watched her sleep, and in that time he'd memorized every line and curve of her face. He wanted to make love to her again. And again. He wanted to hold her in his arms and kiss her beautiful mouth. But she wasn't his to kiss.
“I know you are,” she said so quietly, her voice whispered along the edge of the breeze. “I am, too. I'm sorry you think you're not worth the risk. And I'm sorry you think I'm not strong enough to handle whatever might happen. I guess after what happened with Tim, you have your reasons for believing that. But you're doing exactly what Tim did. He didn't trust me enough to try.... He didn't trust me enough to let me in and share the time he had...and you don't trust me, either.”
Gabe's insides jerked. “It's not about trust.”
“It is.” She pulled her hand from his and reached up to gently touch his face, eyes glistening. “But do you want to know something, Gabe? I would have rather had five years, one year, one month with you...than a lifetime with someone else.”
Chapter Thirteen
L
auren moved back into her house on Wednesday afternoon, and since the new fence was now complete, she had less chance of seeing Gabe. Which was exactly what she wanted.
She also made a few decisions. She talked with her mother about The Wedding House and agreed that they'd look to finding a buyer within the next twelve months if she was still keen to sell. In the meantime, Lauren had decided to cut back her hours at the store and return part-time to college to get her accounting degree.
And after much convincing from her meddling, albeit well-meaning friends, she agreed to go on a date with Cassie's pathologist on Friday night. She also made a commitment to walk Cassie's dog, Mouse, since her friend was still feeling the effects of her appendectomy, and at nearly five months pregnant, wasn't keen to be on the end of the leash of the huge Harlequin Great Dane. He was well mannered, though, and incredibly quiet and not unruly like Jed.
On Friday morning, she took him for a long walk, and was heading back along the pathway when she saw Megan jogging toward her. The teen's long limbs stretched out, and her tiny sports shorts molded her toned thighs. Lauren felt about as sporty as an old shoe in her baggy cotton shorts and sensible racer-back T-shirt when the girl came up to her.
“Hey, there,” Megan said cheerfully. “Nice dog.”
“Thanks,” she said, and tried to be as equally cheerful.
“So,” the other girl said, jogging on the spot. “Are you the reason why Gabe's in such a bad mood?”
Lauren's skin prickled. “I don't know what you mean.”
She shrugged. “It was just something my sister said. But she can be pretty catty when she wants to be. She had this idea that you and Gabe were together.”
“No, we're not.”
Megan grinned. “Have you met his brother? He's hot. But then, I've always had a thing for blonds. Anyhow, if you're not the reason why he's in a bad mood, someone is, 'cause he's been unbearable all week.” Megan laughed shrilly. “Gotta run. See ya!”
She watched the other girl jog away, and then turned Mouse back onto the path. She was about twenty feet from passing alongside the surf club when she spotted Gabe's brother outside the building, phone pressed to his ear. He was handsome, she thought, but not as classically good-looking as his younger brother. Lauren was hoping to pass by unnoticed, but he waved to her when he realized who she was.
Seconds later, he walked over. “Nice to see you again,” he said, and smiled. “Although I don't think we were actually introduced. I'm Aaron. That's some dog you have there.”
“He's on loan from a friend. So are you enjoying Crystal Point?”
“I like the scenery,” he said, and grinned. “And nice weather. It's a lot like California.”
She asked him about his twin sons, and was about to excuse herself when she saw Gabe standing on the second-story balcony, watching them. Or more to the point, glaring at them.
“Uh-oh,” Aaron said, and waved to his brother. “He doesn't look happy. Can't figure why. Can you?” he asked with a devilish grin.
Heat seeped up her neck, and Lauren shrugged. “No idea.”
“He can be a little uptight about some things.”
She'd never considered Gabe to be uptight. Bossy and hardheaded, perhaps. And stubborn. And handsome and sexy, and she'd always thought him to be rather charming and easygoing. Stupidly, she didn't like that his brother was so openly criticizing him.
“I suppose we can all be like that,” she said quietly. “Under certain circumstances.”
He laughed loudly. “Ah, so you, too, huh?”
“Me, too, what?” she asked, puzzled.
He laughed again. “Nothing...just go easy on him, okay? He's been through a lot. And I don't think he quite knows what to do about you, Lauren.”
Reject me...that's what.
She'd laid her heart on the line. She'd told him how she felt in the garden at Dunn Inn and he'd only turned around and walked away. No words. No comfort. No acknowledgment.
His silence had told her all she needed to know.
“Oh, I'm pretty sure he does. Nice talking with you. So long.”
She walked off and felt Gabe's gaze follow her the entire way up the path until she disappeared from his view. He could stare all he wanted. She'd had nearly a week to pull herself together and had so far had done a good job. He was out of her thoughts.
Now all she had to do was get him out of her heart, as well.
* * *
Gabe missed Lauren like crazy. He missed talking to her. He missed how the scent of her perfume always seemed to linger on his clothes for ages after they'd spent time together. And he missed kissing her.
And he hated that he'd hurt her.
I would have rather have had five years, one year, one month with you...than a lifetime with someone else.
Her words haunted him. They were honest and heartfelt and much more than he was worthy of. And he'd been so tempted to take what she offered. More than tempted. He'd wanted it. Longed for it.
Ached
for it.
He'd wanted to wrap her in his arms and hold her there forever.
Except...he might not have forever to offer her. And she deserved that. She deserved more than an empty promise and his broken, defective body.
He headed back downstairs and started work. It was mind-numbing admin stuff, but at least it kept him busy. And gave him a chance to stop thinking about Lauren.
“That's one seriously gorgeous woman.”
Gabe turned around. Aaron was hovering by the door. He knew his brother was talking about Lauren. “Aren't you supposed to be packing for your flight tomorrow?”
“Change of plans,” he quipped. “Mom and I were just talking... We're staying another week.”
Gabe groaned to himself. Another week? He wasn't sure he'd cope with another week of his well-meaning mother and annoying older sibling. “Why? Don't you have a life and two kids to get back to?”
Aaron smiled, walked into the office and plunked into a chair. “You know very well that my ex-wife has the boys, and my business partner is running things while I'm away. And anyway, I wouldn't miss this chance to see you squirm for anything.”
Gabe called him an unflattering name and pretended to work.
“You didn't answer my question,” Aaron said.
He stared at the paperwork on his desk. “It wasn't a question,” he reminded his brother. “It was a statement. And I'm not squirming.”
Aaron laughed. “Oh, you sure as hell are. And I must say she's very pretty and kind of wholesome looking...but sexy underneath that whole girl-next-door thing, if you know what I mean.”
Gabe knew exactly what he meant. He jerked his head up. “Haven't you got somewhere else to be? Someone else to irritate?”
Aaron linked his hands behind his head and stretched. “Nope...just you.”
“I'm working.”
“You're ignoring my question...got it bad, huh?”
Gabe scowled. “What I've got is work to do and no time to waste. I'll see you tonight, around six.”
His family was staying at Dunn Inn for the duration of their trip, since Gabe had insisted his house wasn't ready for guests, and the B and B was more comfortable. But he'd put off having them around all week until they'd invited themselves over for dinner that night.
His brother left shortly afterward, and Gabe spent the day moving from bad mood to foul mood and in no particular order. Not even the news that he'd been successful in his interview with the hospital had lightened his spirits. There were licenses and insurances to renew, but he'd been offered a job in the E.R. and would start the following month. It meant he had time to hand in his resignation and help find a replacement.
By the time he returned home, it was well after five. He took a quick shower, dressed in jeans and T-shirt and was just marinating the steaks when he heard Scott's dual-cab truck pull up outside. He headed outside and walked down the steps. By the time he reached his brother and mother, another car had pulled up next door. He could see over the fence, and when he spotted Lauren walking down her driveway and then the male driver of the car get out, Gabe's body stilled. They were saying hello. She was smiling. The man opened the passenger door and she got into the car.
Aaron was now out of the truck and was also watching. He clamped Gabe on the shoulder and chuckled. “Looks as though you've got yourself some competition.”
“Don't be an ass,” Gabe said, and opened the door for their mother.
He greeted his mom and kept one eye on the car as it drove off down the cul-de-sac.
She's on a date....
It shouldn't have made him madder than hell. It shouldn't have made him feel anything. He'd made the rules. She'd opened her heart, and he'd refused to take it. But a date?
He was burning inside just thinking about it.
Over dinner, he stayed silent and let his brother and mom talk. Tension pressed down on his shoulders, and he couldn't quell the uneasy feeling in his gut. He'd told her to find someone else, and she'd done exactly as he'd suggested. It should have eased the guilt. But it didn't. It only amplified the confusion and discontent rumbling through his system and settling directly in the region of his heart.
When Aaron took a phone call and wandered off to the living room for some privacy, his mother cornered Gabe by the kitchen counter.
“So now that you've had a few days to calm down, would you like to tell me about Lauren?”
He shook his head. “No.”
His mother sighed. “Do you know what I think? I think you're very much in love with her, and it scares you like you've never been scared before.”
I'm not in love with her. I'm not in love with her. I'm not in love with her....
“Nonsense,” he said, and started stacking plates in the dishwasher.
“Are you worried she'll leave like Mona did, should your health change?”
“Lauren is nothing like Mona,” he replied, and continued stacking. “Actually, I'm concerned she'll do exactly the opposite.”
His mother shook her head. “Gabe, isn't that her choice to make?”
“Not if I can help it.” He straightened and placed his hands on the counter. “Please stay out of it, Mom. That means no interfering, no meddling... Promise me you'll just leave it alone.”
“I can't do that,” she said, and smiled. “When one of my kids is in trouble, I'll always interfere.”
“I'm not in trouble,” he insisted. “And I know what I'm doing. She's grieved for one man already. I won't be responsible for her having to do that over another.”
“Another man? Who?”
He briefly explained about Tim. “Now, can we drop it?”
His mother nodded. “Yes, of course.”
Gabe made coffee, and when Aaron returned, they sat around the table for a while, telling old tales about things they'd done as kids. Like the time Aaron got caught making out with the local minister's daughter, or when geeky, sixteen-year-old Luca got suspended from math club because he'd followed Gabe and Aaron and gotten a tattoo on his arm. The stories made him laugh and put him in a marginally better mood. He waved them off at nine-thirty but was back on the porch fifteen minutes later when he spotted a car return next door.
She got out and walked up the driveway as the car pulled away. So her date didn't see her to the door.
Schmuck.
Mounting dislike and rage festered in his gut for a few more minutes, and before he had a chance to stop himself, Gabe was striding around the fence, the hedge and then through the gate and up the steps.
He tapped on the door and waited. He heard her heels clicking on the timber floor, and when she pulled the door open, she looked genuinely surprised to see him.
“Oh...Gabe.”
He shifted on his feet. She was so beautiful. Her hair was down, framing her perfectly lovely face, highlighting the deep caramel eyes that haunted him. She wore a little black dress that flipped over her hips and made every ounce of desire and longing he possessed surge to the surface in a wave.
“Who the hell was that?” he demanded once she'd opened the security door.
She moved back a little. “You mean my date?”
“Yeah,” he shot back, so agitated he could barely get the word out. “Your
date.
”
She actually smiled. Like she thought him hilarious. Or the biggest fool of all time. Or both. “His name is Steve. Although I'm not quite sure how that's any of your business.”
It wasn't.
She was on a date with someone named Steve
. Steve who? He hated the name, anyhow.
Forget about it...she can do whatever she likes. And with whomever she likes.
But be damned if the very idea of that didn't make every part of his flesh and bones ache.
“I was only...” He stopped, realizing nothing he could say would make him look like anything other than exactly what he wasâa stupidly jealous idiot. It was a sobering realization. Had he ever been jealous before? Had he ever cared enough about anyone to garner such an emotional response?
No. Never.
I think you're very much in love with her, and it scares you like you've never been scared before....
His mother's words beat around in his head.
She made an impatient sound. “Goodbye, Gabe.”
He didn't move. He stared at her. Long and deep. And the more he stared, the more he knew her impatience increased. And before he had a chance to question why, he reached out and pulled her close. She looked startled for a microsecond and then tilted her head and glared up at him. Body to body, breath to breath, Gabe experienced a connection with her that was so intense, so acute, it almost knocked him unconscious. Had her date kissed her? Had another man kissed those lips he'd somehow come to think of as his own? His arms tightened around her frame, drawing her against him so intimately, he could feel every lovely rise and curve.