Authors: Rachel Brimble,Geri Krotow,Callie Endicott
Tags: #Literature & Fiction, #Romance, #Contemporary, #Series, #Harlequin Superromance
“You’re very welcome.”
“I’m not sixteen, and there aren’t any stars in my eyes, however. It’s been my experience that men are this helpful for one of two reasons.”
“Go on.”
“In your case...you’re either feeling guilty about purchasing the land around Dottie’s house and want to ease that guilt by doing a good deed for Pepé and me. Or you want something.”
“Such as?”
“Dottie’s house. Don’t be obtuse, Jonas. Do you think I believe for one minute that you’ve given up on getting back what you feel is rightfully yours?”
He stopped in the snow. Santa’s village was another two hundred yards down the path.
“You’d suck the sugar right out of a candy cane, wouldn’t you, Serena? Is there anything wrong with a little Christmas spirit?”
“Do you blame me?”
“No, but I’m going to give you a chance to feel like I didn’t take this whole day right out of your hands. Here, use your energy for something other than trying to figure me out. I’ll meet you at the snack shed.”
He handed her the rope handles to the sled. Her mouth fell open and he saw a fleeting shot of regret before she gritted her teeth and started to pull the tree.
It was petty, but the grunt that came out of her mouth with her first few steps gave him tremendous satisfaction.
“Pepé, your mom has command of the tree. Keep an eye on the stern for me!”
“Aye-aye, Jonas!”
“Good boy.”
He turned back to Serena. “It gets easier once you have the momentum of the tree’s weight sliding on the snow with you.”
He didn’t wait to hear her retort as he jogged up ahead of them toward Santa and a warm cup of joe.
* * *
S
ERENA
HAD
SEVERAL
minutes to her thoughts as she clomped through the snow. It wasn’t hard to imagine she was out on the tundra with the cold wind hitting her square in the face and the heavy weight of the tree making the trip to warmth feel like it was miles away.
Except that in the tundra she’d have sled dogs pulling the tree for her, wouldn’t she? She didn’t have the energy to laugh, or she would have. She absolutely deserved this. She’d been rude to Jonas after he’d made their tree search more fun and certainly less laborious for her.
Until now.
“All clear in the rear, Mom!” Pepé chortled at his rhyme and Serena smiled. He was having the time of his life.
He needed positive male attention and role models. It wasn’t his fault that his dad had died, nor was it hers. Still, she worried about a child’s ability to cope. When they’d visited Beyond the Stars two summers ago, she’d discovered that what had helped her get through her grief more than anything was learning to accept life on its own terms. But Pepé was so young and as much as he took things at face value more than she did, it was also easier for him to escape into an imaginary world.
After Phil died, Pepé had retreated so far into his private fantasy world that he didn’t speak to any adults other than Serena. Even his beloved
abuela
was hard-pressed to get a word out of him. Only after the counselor at the resort for Gold Star families had helped Pepé get over his new fear of jumping into the deep end of the pool had Pepé started to talk again.
That counselor, Lucas, had been male and Serena didn’t miss the significance.
As much as Pepé was a well-adjusted kid, thriving in his new environment, Serena knew he had a hole in his heart. He craved a father. How could he not? Phil had been there for him 100 percent of the time when he wasn’t deployed downrange. They’d bonded as a solid father-and-son unit. Right after Phil died Serena had a hard time separating her grief at losing her husband from the sheer torture of watching her little boy grieve for the father he’d called “Bud.” Pepé had been “little buddy.”
“That was then, this is now.” She murmured the reminder to herself; it was advice from her grief counseling sessions. She didn’t have to carry the guilt and the grief for both of them any longer.
Serena wiped a stray tear from her cheek and felt a bloom of gratitude she hadn’t experienced in a long while. Here they were, she and Pepé, hauling in the first Christmas tree they’d handled all by themselves, from picking it out to cutting it down, and now they had the decorating to look forward to.
Jonas helped you.
He had. And she’d been a complete jerk to him.
* * *
“I
GUESSED
YOU
’
D
want the hot cider—just drop the ropes there.” Jonas handed her the steaming cup as he nodded toward the ground where she gladly let go of the sled handles.
“All clear, Jonas!” Pepé sprang over the trunk of the pine and smiled up at his hero. Serena wanted to warn him to not get too close; it could lead to a broken heart. Instead, she sipped her cider and tried to focus on the gratitude she’d discovered moments earlier.
“Hot chocolate for you, Pepé. I wasn’t sure if you liked marshmallows, so I didn’t get them, but if you want some, Mrs. Claus said you can go to the front of the line and have them added.”
“Be right back, Mom!”
Serena watched him walk the short distance to Emily, and ask for the marshmallows.
“Thank you, Jonas. I was a Scrooge to you and I’m sorry. You’ve done so much for Pepé and me today, and I do really appreciate it. I’m not the best at expressing my emotions.”
“Oh, I think you’re pretty good at letting your heart show.”
The gleam in his eyes made her think of the many barbs she’d thrown his way in their short acquaintance and she grimaced.
“I’m overbearing when it comes to Pepé making new relationships with adults. I know that.”
“As you should be. The world’s not the place it was when we were growing up. I’d be protective of him, too.”
They enjoyed their drinks in quiet. Serena kept her eye on Pepé but let her thoughts wander to...nothing. That astonished her. This kind of serenity was so unusual. Her heart was still, her thoughts weren’t racing. She wasn’t holding her breath waiting for the next tragedy to befall them.
Everything was okay, for the moment.
“What’s the smile about?” Jonas hadn’t missed her elation.
“Call me corny but I think the Christmas spirit just got to me.”
“Nothing corny about enjoying this time of year.”
She saw the shadow pass over his face.
“Are you enjoying it?”
“Am I what?” At her silence, he relented his pretense. “I’m not the happiest I’ve ever been, no. It takes time to readjust after deployment.”
“More so after a wartime deployment, though. You weren’t on a ship, removed from the action, either. You were in camp, right?”
He looked past her, to where Pepé had walked over to study the reindeer.
“Yes. We treated a lot of civilians, more than I ever have before. Except for natural disasters. Earthquakes, hurricanes—that’s always more of a civilian situation. My first two deployments to Iraq and Afghanistan involved almost exclusively military casualties. This time, the Taliban had done a number on several different villages. So many civilian casualties poured in. It never ended.”
“Does it make you mad to see how much we take for granted here?”
“Sometimes. Oak Harbor’s not too bad—we have so many military families here and the civilians have always embraced us as their own. They know the struggles we go through. What bothers me most is seeing how healthy and naturally happy our kids are—the way all kids should be—while so many children overseas aren’t. Every kid deserves the chance to be happy.”
She stayed silent. His voice mesmerized her with his heartfelt confession.
“Now who sounds all corny and sentimental?” He shook his head.
“It’s the truth. Thank you for sharing that with me, Jonas.”
He didn’t reply as he walked around her and bent down to grab the sled’s rope handles.
“Let’s bring your tree over to the tree shaker. Pepé’s going to love this.”
“Pepé!” She called him over from petting the reindeer and made a mental note to see that he washed his hands well before he ate dinner.
He scrambled toward them, his cheeks flushed with happiness.
“Are we going to decorate the tree now?”
Serena laughed with delight at his enthusiasm. “Not yet. First we have to shake it, then it has to rest on the porch.”
Pepé seemed confused and turned to Jonas for confirmation.
“We’re going to shake the tree?”
“Your mom’s right, Pepé. We have to make sure there aren’t any loose needles to mess up your house.”
“How are we going to do that?”
“We’re not—the machine over there is.”
They gave the tree to the attendant, who handed them a slip to go and pay for the tree. Once Serena had paid and returned with the receipt, the tree was put into a rudimentary machine that shook it for several minutes. Needles and pinecones dropped to the snow. Pepé watched in amazement as the tree was then placed in a nylon net that bound it into a very compact size for transport home.
“Mom, is that hurting the tree?”
“I don’t think so, honey. It’s probably like being wrapped up in a warm blanket.”
When Jonas met her eyes, she felt as though she was mentally communicating with him. The question in his eyes—
do you
like to be wrapped up warm and tight?—
made her think of long nights with him in her bed, cozy under the blankets. Did he see the answer in hers?
Heat burned her ears, although she’d thought they were numb from the cold. She made herself look away before she said or did something stupid, like give Jonas a catlike smile.
Or think that starting a physical relationship with Jonas was feasible.
“Let’s get the tree onto your car.” Jonas’s voice vibrated across the short space between them and it was as arousing as if he’d touched her. Was there anything about this man that didn’t turn her on?
He wanted to kick her and Pepé out of their house. Their home.
It should have been an easy turnoff, but it wasn’t as lust-dousing as she’d hoped.
She was in trouble.
* * *
“D
ON
’
T
EVEN
THINK
about it.”
Jonas’s voice was too familiar, too comfortable. And, at the moment, too annoying. Serena couldn’t put her reaction into words.
She stepped back from the side of her SUV and lowered her arms, her hands holding the bungee chord she’d unhooked from around the tree and ski rack. Jonas didn’t take a step back and he was so close, so tempting.
“I can get the tree off the top of my car, Jonas.”
“I have no doubt. You can also scratch the heck out of your car and risk breaking some tree limbs in the process.”
“Isn’t that why the tree’s wrapped like this?”
“It’s to make it easier to transport but there’s no guarantee the netting will protect it. Are you always this averse to help from a neighbor?”
Neighbor.
“When do you think your house will be built?”
The sparkle in his eyes dimmed and the grim lines she’d first noticed in the clinic the day they’d met threatened to resurface under his day’s growth of beard.
“Ground will break in the spring, after the storms blow through. Why?”
Why indeed.
“Just wondering.”
“Mom, can Jonas stay for dinner?” Pepé poked his head between them, one arm on each of their legs.
This was getting too cozy.
“Not tonight, honey.” She never took her gaze from Jonas’s. Was that a challenge in his stormy blue eyes?
She swallowed. “We’d love to have you for our tree-decorating party in a few days. Can you come?”
She knew he wanted to say “no.” She could tell from his stiffness and the grim line of his mouth.
“Jonas, it’ll be fun! Mom makes the best chili, and we can frost cookies.”
Finally he broke their stare to shift his focus to Pepé. “Sounds wonderful. As long as I don’t have to work late at the hospital, I’d be delighted to join you, Pepé.”
Serena wanted to be irritated that he’d weaseled his way into their family tradition. But how could she when
she’d
invited him?
“We usually eat around six o’clock—is that too early for you?”
Were his eyes always this sexy when he looked at a woman?
“It’s fine. I’ll call you if I end up working.”
“Great.” She forced a smile but didn’t have to force the warm tingles that danced on the surface of her skin and continued to her midsection, inviting more of her to wake up and join the fun.
“Let’s set this tree up on the porch.”
In one smooth motion Jonas hoisted the tree onto the ground and began to pull it up the walkway toward the porch.
“We always kept it on the front porch for a few days in a bucket of water. Do you have a different place for it?”
“No, I have the bucket out, the green one to the left of the door.”
“Roger.”
“Pepé, can you go open the door and let Ronald out?”
“Roger!” Pepé grabbed her keys and shot toward his mission.
“He loves being around military jargon.” She spoke her thoughts aloud, trying to remember she needed to protect Pepé from forming bonds with men who weren’t going to be permanent in his life. He’d had enough loss.
“I did, too, as a kid. G.I. Joes were my favorite toys.” Jonas didn’t glance at her as he complimented Pepé, his breath in great clouds in front of him as he hauled the heavy tree up the three steps to the wooden porch that ran the length of the house.
“He’s always been that way. Right after Phil died, I worried about him so much—he withdrew into himself in a way I’d only ever seen in adults. It was scary when he stopped talking to everyone except me. But we got through it, and he’s thriving.”
“I saw in his chart you took him to BTS.” His easy reference to the Beyond the Stars resort for Gold Star families didn’t surprise her. No doubt he’d referred patients from the hospital there.
“You read his entire chart?”
Jonas set the tree down and leaned it against the side of the house. He turned to face her and smiled.
His smile must have encouraged a lot of women to get undressed....