Harmony's Healing (Downtown Book 2) (23 page)

I gave her a kiss on her lowest part of her back; I wanted to inhale her sweet scent as long as possible, but I had to catch my breath, figure out what I was going to say to her.

I lay my arm over my eyes and breathe. I’m sweaty, naked and my dick is still fucking hard, I want to do her again. “I’ve missed you,” she expresses, breathy. To hear her say those words makes my heart skip a beat. I’ve missed her so much, I’ve been dying a slow death; she has just jumped started my lifeline a little longer. I keep my arm over my eyes as I feel the bed shift, she’s now lying next to me. Her intoxicating scent clouds my thoughts. I want more than anything to forget she lied to me, to gather her in my arms, to have her climb on me and ride me. “I made such a huge mistake in letting Wayne talk me into his insane idea. I never meant for it to go as far as it did. I was going to tell you the truth that morning, but you found out before I had the chance.” The thickness in her voice is genuine. I uncover my eyes and turn my head to face her. Her gorgeous dark eyes are heavy with tears. “Danny….I am truly, truly sorry for hurting you,” she chokes. When she blinks a tear rolls down her cheek. I want to sweep it away, but I can’t get myself to do it. I sense every emotion she’s feeling and it’s torture. I believe what she just told me - I do. Yet I am still torn.

I pinch my brows together, I am so conflicted. “I know you’re sorry, it’s just,” I shake my head, letting out a loud exhale. “….it doesn’t change things, Harmony.” I turn over on my side, facing down at her. I gather the side of her head, my thumb grazes against her cheek. “As much as it’s going to kill me...I can’t be with you right now.” She squeezes her eyes shut, allowing more tears to leak. I really hate what this is doing to her. Am I doing the right thing? Does she deserve this pain? No. She doesn’t deserve it, but I am doing the right thing. For me. For the both of us. “Going on tour is what I need. I need time to think,” I add, sincerely.

It takes her a couple seconds for her to regain her composure. When she opens her eyes they are red, full of regret and despair. “If this is what you want.“

“It is.”

“Okay,” she whispers.

As much as I want to kiss her full, swollen lips, I release her from my hand. I stand up, go into the bathroom to throw away the condom. When I come back into the room, Harmony is finishing getting back in her dress. I come up behind her and help her zip the back. She quietly says thank you, then sits on the bed. It’s really hard to not look at her as I get dressed. The sadness on her face almost brings me to my knees and makes me want to forget everything I just said to her. What’s going to happen when I get on that tour bus? I won’t be able to stand it if I see her there, I won’t want to leave. There is only one way to solve this - I need to say goodbye….now.

I sit beside her on the bed and take her hand. “I can’t have you see me off the day we leave. It’s best we say goodbye now.” She doesn’t look at me, nor does she say anything. I don’t blame her. This is fucking hard for me too. “I’m sorry, but….”

She sniffs her tears away, then nods. “I know, I understand. I won’t come,” her voice fades. I am about to get up when she squeezes my hand, forcing me to stay put. “Do you regret being with me tonight?”

I can’t bear to look at her, to see how much I am hurting her. “No,” I whisper. I’ll never regret being able to feel her one last time. “I’ve missed you too….more than you’ll ever know.” I kiss the back of her hand. “Take care of yourself, Harmony.” I quickly leave without looking back. Walking down the quiet hallway I wipe away the damn tear that escapes my eye.

I am fucked up. For once in my life I just want some happiness. How the hell is that ever going to happen if the people I love keep lying to me? Harmony and I could have had something so amazing, it shatters me to no end how things went down. I am devastated and lost.

After leaving Harmony I went back down to the party. Faith asked me where Harmony was…. I told her. She knew the look on my face that things were still not okay between us, so she left to go find her. She’ll hear about us, no doubt.

The band and I did a couple more numbers, then afterward they all went to the buffet and pigged out. I wasn’t that hungry and decided to call it a night. We have a magazine reporter coming to the studio early in the morning, so it was best I leave anyway. I didn’t know about the others, but I needed to sleep.

The next morning the sun was beating it’s rays inside my bedroom. It woke me up from a very restless night; I tossed and turned - so much for getting any sleep. I couldn’t get Harmony’s sad eyes out of my vision. Just like she had with me, I tore her to pieces. I broke her heart after fucking her. What kind of sick bastard does something like that? I am disgusted with myself and hate who I have become. The road was looking more and more promising by the minute. I needed to get out of this city. Maybe by the time we return, I will have made peace with everything - my father, mother, Wayne, Harmony. I have a lot of shit to deal with, so my main focus as of right now is my music and the band.

No use going back to sleep, so I make a pot of coffee, and take a hot shower. After my shower, I sit out on my balcony with my cup of coffee. The weather is a bit warm for January; it doesn’t get too cold in San Diego, but once we hit New York City I know it’s going to be ass-freezing cold. Before we leave in the next couple days I have to shop for warm shit. I don’t want my balls falling off when I step outside the bus for the first time.

After I down the rest of my coffee, I head on over to the studio. For once the paps aren’t camped outside my building. It’s the best thing that’s happened to me all week. When I get to the studio the guys are messing around, talking about last night. Lucky comes over my way and we get into what happened between me and Harmony. It’s not something I really want to discuss, but I need to get it off my chest.

Once I explain everything, Lucky pats me on the back. “I get it Danny-boy. You need time, but honestly, it won’t be easy.”

“No it won’t. It’s hard enough as it is, living in the same city and not seeing her, but I’m just not sure we’ll work things out, though. She broke my trust.”

“Hey, I thought you two worked it out last night, bro. I saw you guys sucking face,” Wayne butt’s in.

“Not now, Wayne,” I irritatingly reply. I really don’t have time for his shit. If it weren’t for his fucked up idea maybe Harmony and I would have had a real chance at something.

“What? Didn’t you make up?”

I am trying my hardest to stay calm. “No, so please stay out of this.”

“Dude, come on, are you fucking delirious?!” Wayne shouts. “Harmony - “

I come charging up to him, pissed as hell. “Do not tell me how to handle this! It’s my decision! So back the fuck off!” It takes everything I have to not pound his face into the ground; my fists are clenched, ready to strike at any second.

He backs away, holding up his hands. “Fine, okay, whatev bro, chill!”

“I cannot chill when you’re always in my business!”

“I’m out then, alright?”

“Finally!” I answer sarcastically.

“You’re fucking unbelievable. Such a douchebag.” He walks off pissed.

Whatever. Douchebag or not, I made my decision and I need to stick by it.

“Guys,” Lyric peeks herself inside the sound room. She’s not her usual happy self. “Hey, hi..uh, our interviewer is here, so I advise you to...you know, cool it,” she clips at us. “This is Rock Magazine, so please...best behavior,” she forewarns us with a stern voice and hard eyes. This is a side of Lyric I’ve never seen before and I’m not so sure any of the others want to hear her speak that way again.
She’s kinda badass.

“Danny -”

“I’m fine, Luck.”

“I know man, I know.”

I get myself situated, take a breather and pretend everything is hunky-dory.

By the time the interview was over I was ready for a drink, but we had some rehearsals to do instead. Music is my therapy and afterwards I feel a bit better. When I get back home from tour I am buying a piano; time to take my frustrations out on music and to focus on getting some stability back in my life.

Right after rehearsal June stopped in and handed us each our first big paycheck. An unbelievable amount was written in my name, none of us could contain our shock and happiness. I have never seen so many numbers in my life. This shit was getting real - things will definitely be looking up from now on.

The next day I am looking over the spoils of my shopping spree. I have everything I need for the cold weather back east, but I hope I’m not forgetting anything.
Harmony.
She’s the only one thing I wish I could forget. I can’t stop thinking about her, and how she won’t be seeing me off today. Although I made the choice, I want her here more than anything.

The bus is being loaded at the studio and there is a crowd developing outside the gates. The word about us leaving was leaked and got around quickly to our fans. We don’t have any time for signings or greeting anyone, yet we wave and smile; loads of screaming follow.

Helene and Gary have come to see us off. I shake hands with Gary, we say a few words, then I go to June and Phillip. Phillip and I talk about his new tattoo; it’s a pair of wings, with a halo crowning above them. He lifts up his shirt sleeve to give me a closer look. It takes up half his upper bicep; the wings are amazingly done and the halo has a tint of yellow going through it. I assume this piece is for the baby they lost - it’s a nice sentiment. Getting it done Phillip said it was torture, since he was always against ink, but being with June has changed the man.

Before I step onto the bus, Helene catches me. She hesitantly gives me a hug and I welcome it. Having her as my aunt, an extended part of my family, feels really good. “Have a wonderful time, Danny,” she quietly says.

“Thanks, Helene.” I lightly squeeze her. After we let go I try to find the right words to say how sorry I am. “Look, I uh...I ummm...I’m…” Unfortunately I can’t get them out.
I am such an idiot.

“No.” Helene takes my face into her hands. She smiles while she looks up at me. “Please, you don’t need to say anything. We are all okay now; happy and blessed, don’t you think?”

“Yes,” I whisper.

“One more thing. Read the letter from Gordon. Maybe from his own words you’ll be able to forgive him, too?” She pats my cheek like I’m a small child and walks back to Gary.

I am left speechless.

I stuffed the letter from my dad in my bag before I left my apartment. I wonder if my subconscious was telling me to read it just in case? I don’t know what for, but after Helene’s advice maybe I’ll consider it?

Finally we are on the bus; the doors closed and we’re headed to New York, Boston, Chicago, Michigan and all the way down to Florida. I can’t remember the other states and cities, but It’s definitely going to take us four months to get through all of them. I am super stoked and ready for
JINKS’
second adventure.

Slim and Wayne are beginning our trip playing what they love doing the most while traveling - video games. Anything that has a video game system near them they go into a trance for hours. Watching them play is like watching two five year old’s. Speaking of Wayne….I’m not sure what’s going to happen between us. Even though I don’t appreciate him digging his nose in my private affairs, he’s always going to be one of my best friends. It’s going to take time for me to get over what he did and how he ruined my relationship with Harmony. I love the dude. I know he did what he did with good intentions, but lying doesn’t sit well with me.

“Hey, you okay?” Faith brings me out of my thoughts. She sits beside me on the couch, faces me with her elbow propped up on the cushion and leans her head into her fist.

We’ve been on the road for less than an hour. Lucky is playing his guitar, along with Jason, while Slim and Wayne continue to play their video game.

“I guess so,” I shrug, crossing my arms. Faith’s question is sincere and for once I don’t mind her being next to me. My hatred and jealousy for her is over.

“Do you wish Harmony saw you off this morning?”

“Of course I do, but at the same time, no. It would have been too hard, ya know?”

“Well….it’s never too late to call her.”

“Faith, it’s over between us,” I remind her.

“I thought the same thing with Lucas. He couldn’t have hurt me more than he did all those years ago and I thought I’d never forgive him. What happened between you and Harmony seems so minor compared to me and Lucas. I don’t want you regretting living your life without her. She’s a good person and she loves you so much.” She touches my shoulder. “I wouldn’t give up on her so easily if I were you.”

“The old me would have bitten your head off for saying that,” I chuckle.

“I know you would have, but I’m glad we have gotten passed all the hatred between us. Looking forward to finally being your sister.”

I subtly nod my head. “Ya, know, it’s crazy even admitting this, but…..it’s going to be fun doing brotherly jokes on you. I’ve never had anyone to pick on before.” I chuckle again.

“Oh crap, I’m in trouble now!” Faith laughs.

After a few seconds of silence I say, “Thanks for the talk, Faith. I have a lot to think about.”

She smiles with a blush, surprised by my acknowledgement. “You’re welcome.”

I definitely have a lot to think about.