Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (123 page)

Hermione walked toward the empty place next to Padma.

There were words waiting in her throat,
Padma, I got a
mysterious
message -

And she could feel a huge brick wall inside her, stopping the words from coming out. She’d be putting Hannah and Susan and Daphne
in danger
. Taking them and leading them by the hand straight into trouble. That was Wrong.

Or she could just go try to handle the bully herself, without telling her friends anything, and that, quite obviously, was also Wrong.

Hermione knew she was being faced with a Moral Dilemma, just like all those wizards and witches she’d read about in stories. Only in stories people always got a
right
choice and a wrong choice, not two wrong ones, which seemed a bit unfair. But she had the sense, somehow - maybe it came from the way Harry always talked about how the history books would see them - that she was faced with a Heroic Decision, and that her whole life might end up going one way or another, depending on what she chose right now,
this morning
.

Hermione sat down at the table without looking to either side, just gazing at the plate and silverware like they might have answers hidden inside, thinking as hard as she ever had, and a few seconds later she heard Padma’s voice whispering almost in her ear, “Daphne says she knows where a bully’s going to be at ten-thirty today.”

Doomed.

They were all doomed, in Susan Bones’s opinion.

Auntie sometimes told stories which started out like this, people doing something they
knew
was stupid, and the stories usually ended with someone being
doomed
all over the floor and all over the walls and getting on Auntie’s shoes.

“Hey, Padma,” muttered Parvati, her voice just barely audible over the soft impacts of eight girls tiptoeing through the corridor leading to the Potions classroom, “d’you know why Hermione’s been sighing all morning -”

“No talking!” hissed Lavender, the harsh whisper sounding much louder than Parvati’s mutter. “You never know when Evil might be listening!”

“Shhh!
” said three other girls even more loudly.

Utterly, totally, quite extremely doomed.

As they approached the fourth passageway to the left of the Potions classroom, where Daphne’s mysterious informant had said the bullying would take place, the eight of them moved slower, the sound of their feet got softer, and finally General Granger made the gesture that meant
Halt, I’ll look ahead
.

Lavender raised a hand, then, and when Hermione turned to look at her, Lavender, looking puzzled, pointed straight down the corridor, gestured to herself, and then tried to sign something else that Susan didn’t understand -

General Granger shook her head, and once again, this time with slower, more exaggerated movements, made the sign for
Halt, I’ll look ahead
.

Lavender, looking even more puzzled, pointed back the way they’d come, and made a bouncing gesture with her other hand.

Now everyone else was looking even more confused than Lavender, and Susan thought with some acerbity that evidently one hour of practice done two days ago wasn’t enough to remember a new set of code signals.

Hermione pointed at Lavender, then at the floor beneath Lavender’s feet, the expression on her face making it very clear that the intended meaning was
You. Stay. Here.

Lavender nodded.

Doom doom doom,
went the words of the Chaos Legion’s marching song through Susan’s mind,
doom doom doom doom doom doom
…

Hermione reached into her robes, and drew out a little rod with a mirror on the end of it and an eyepiece. Very very softly indeed, the Ravenclaw girl crept up to the wall, right next to where the passageway opened off the corridor, and peeked just the tip of the eyepiece around the corner.

Then a little more.

Then a little more.

Then General Granger cautiously stuck her head around the side.

General Granger turned back to them, nodded, and made the hand gesture for
follow me
.

Susan felt a little better as she crept forward. The part of the Plan which called for them to arrive thirty minutes before the bully had, apparently, actually worked. Maybe they were only
slightly
doomed…?

At ten-twenty-nine, almost on the dot, the bully showed up. If anyone had been present to hear - though the corridor was apparently empty - they would have heard his shoes clicking solidly through the main corridor, entering the passageway, walking toward where the passageway turned its first corner, turning that corner, and then stopping in some surprise upon seeing that the passageway now terminated in a solid brick wall where no wall had been before.

Then the bully shrugged and turned away, as he leaned back to watch the main passage from just around the corner.

It
was
the castle Hogwarts, after all.

Behind the hastily Transfigured thin panels they’d assembled into the outward appearance of a brick wall, the girls waited; not speaking, not moving, hardly even breathing, but watching through the eyeholes they’d left themselves.

As Susan’s gaze took in the bully, she could feel the tightening of her chest all the way into her toes. The boy looked to be in his seventh-year if not
older
, and his robes were trimmed in green instead of the red they’d been hoping for, and he had
muscles
, and after staring for a bit longer, Susan realized his stance had the balance that meant that he
dueled
.

Then they all heard the sound of more feet approaching from the corridor. The fourth-year Gryffindors and Slytherins had just been let out of Potions class.

The footsteps pattered past, and diminished and faded, and the bully didn’t do anything. For a moment Susan felt an instant of relief -

Then another, smaller group of footsteps approached.

The bully still didn’t do anything, as the footsteps went past.

That happened a few more times.

And then, as there approached the faintly audible sound of one last set of footsteps, the seven girls heard the bully’s voice saying, clear and cold and quiet, “
Protego
”.

Someone
did
gasp then, though fortunately very very quietly. If they couldn’t get in even a single shot -

The bullies were learning
already
, Susan realized, she hadn’t expected S.P.H.E.W. to be able to do this very often before the bullies caught on - but - Hermione had already defeated three bullies - and the school had been buzzing with speculation about Salazar Slytherin’s ghost, yesterday -

He’s expecting us!

Susan would have whispered to give up, to abort the plan, only there was no way to convey a message to -

“
Silencio
,” said the bully in a soft, deliberate voice with his wand pointed toward the corridor, the blue haze of his Shielding Charm shimmering around him. “
Accio
victim.”

When the fourth-year boy came into their field of vision he was dangling upside down as if an invisible hand were holding him high by one leg, his red-trimmed robes beginning to slide down his thighs to reveal the pants beneath. His mouth was opening and closing helpessly, no sound coming out.

“I suppose you’re wondering what’s going on,” the seventh-year Slytherin said in a quiet, cold voice. “Don’t worry. It’s so simple even a Gryffindor could understand.”

With that, the Slytherin’s left hand formed a fist and drove hard into the Gryffindor’s belly. The fourth-year boy’s body jerked around frantically, but still no words left his mouth.

“You’re my victim,” said the older Slytherin. “I’m a bully. I’m going to beat you up. And we’ll see if anyone stops me.”

It was at that moment that Susan realized it was a trap.

And in almost the same moment, there rang out the mighty and high-pitched voice of a young girl, crying, “
Stop, evildoer! Finite Incantatem!
”

Lavender
, thought Susan, agonized. The Gryffindor girl had volunteered to be a distraction, while the rest of them executed a flank attack from where the bully wouldn’t expect it, that had been the plan, only now -

“In the name of Hogwarts,” cried Lavender’s voice, though they couldn’t see her, “and in the name of heroines everywhere, I command you to let go of that EEK!”

“
Expelliarmus
,” said the bully. “
Stupefy
.
Accio
stupid heroine.”

When Lavender floated into their vision, dangling by one foot and unconscious, Susan blinked; the girl was dressed in a bright crimson-and-gold skirt and blouse, instead of her usual Hogwarts robes.

The bully was also giving the girl’s upside-down body an odd look, and then he pointed his wand at her and said “
Finite Incantatem
,” but the clothes stayed the same.

Then the bully shrugged, and, still facing in the direction of Lavender instead of the dangling fourth-year boy, drew back his fist -

“
Lagann!
” yelled five voices, and five green spirals blasted from five wands aimed through five holes in the false wall, and an instant later Hermione’s voice shouted ”
Stupefy!
”

Five green spirals shattered ineffectually on blue haze, and Hermione’s red bolt bounced off the haze and struck the fourth-year boy, who jerked and then was still.

And the seventh-year bully turned around, smiling grimly, as the first-year girls screamed and charged.

Susan’s eyes flew open and instantly she was rolling away from where she’d lain on the floor, her lungs still on fire and her whole body still aching from when she’d been hit, the battle had only moved forward a few seconds from what she could see, Hannah’s body falling with her arm still stretched out toward Susan, “
Glisseo!
” shouted Hermione but the older boy just slashed his wand down leaving a trail of green glow behind and Hermione’s Charm visibly disrupted into a shower of blue-white sparks, then in almost the same motion the bully said ”
Stupefy!
” and Hermione was blown backward and Susan summoned up all the magic she had left and shouted ”
Innervate!
” at Hermione’s body even as the bully turned toward her, the bully’s wand pointed in her direction again and then Padma yelled ”
Prismatis!
” just before the bully shouted ”
Impedimenta!
”, the rainbow sphere forming
around the bully
and the seventh-year Slytherin staggered as his own hex was reflected back at him, but an instant later the bully’s wand swept back to tap himself and then Padma’s Prismatic Sphere shattered like a blown soap bubble as the bully’s wand cut through it and ”
Innervate!
” yelled Parvati at Hannah’s body and Tracey and Lavender screamed at the same time, ”
Wingardium Leviosa!
” -

Hannah Abbott held out her wand with a hand that trembled with exhaustion, she didn’t have enough magic left for even one
Innervate
, now.

The rest of the passageway was silent, scattered bodies lying across the ground, Padma and Tracey and Lavender, Hermione and Parvati in a heap against one wall, Susan standing in petrified rigor as her eyes tracked it all helplessly, even the Gryffindor boy lying sprawled and motionless (Hermione had woken him and he’d fought, but it hadn’t been enough).

It had been a very short battle.

The bully was still smiling, the only signs of his exertion a wavering ripple in the blue glow surrounding him, and a few beads of sweat on his forehead.

The bully raised his arm, wiped the sweat off his forehead, and stalked toward her like a man-shaped living Lethifold.

Hannah turned and fled, spun and ran with screams kept bound in her choking throat, sprinted past the fallen paneling of the fake brick wall, ran down the passageway with all the speed she could muster, weaving as much as she could -

Just before Hannah got to the turn in the passageway, the bully’s voice from behind her said “
Cluthe!
” and she got awful cramps all through her legs, she fell down and slid and hit her head against the wall, only she didn’t even notice the pain of the smack as she started to scream with the twisting muscles -

The bully was still stalking toward her, Hannah saw as she turned her head; approaching her slowly, still wearing that dreadful smile.

And she rolled, despite the pain as her leg muscles knotted up around themselves, she rolled around the corner of the passageway, and screamed, “Go
away!
”

“I think not,” said the bully, his voice deep and scary like that of a grown man, sounding very close at hand now.

The bully walked around the corner and Daphne Greengrass stabbed her Most Ancient Blade directly into his groin.

There was a flash that lit up the whole corridor -

It was with a subdued mien that seven girls left Madam Pomfrey’s office, leaving one of their own behind in a hospital bed.

Hannah would be all right in about thirty-five minutes, the healer had said; torn muscles were easy to mend.

Daphne had done all the talking, and according to her, Hannah had suffered a mishap with a Road-Running Charm which had caused the leg cramps. Madam Pomfrey had given them a sharp look but hadn’t argued, even though that Charm was around six years above their level.

Madam Pomfrey had also given Daphne a potion to help with her state of total magical exhaustion, and warned her not to cast any spells for the next three hours. That, supposedly, was from Daphne using up too much magic trying to
Finite
Hannah, rather than the Most Ancient Blade drawing out all of her power to break the
Protego
.

The rest of them had decided not to say anything about the bruises under their robes until they could get some older girls to cast
Episkey
. There were limits to what Daphne could talk around.

The whole thing, Susan thought, had been too close, much too close. If the bully had so much as looked around the corner - if he’d taken a moment to recast his Shielding Charm -

“We should stop,” said Susan, as soon as the seven of them had gotten out of hearing range of the healer’s office. “We should stop doing this.”