Harry Potter and the Methods of Rationality (125 page)

“Huh…” said the fifth-year boy. “I don’t think I believe you, that doesn’t sound cunning enough to be really it -”

“That’s what he
wants
you to think,” said the fifth-year girl.

“Albus,” Minerva said dangerously, “did you
plan
all this?”

“Well, if I
did
snap my fingers under the table, I wouldn’t just
tell
you that -”

The Defense Professor’s quavering hand dropped his spoon into the soup again.

“What do you mean,
set you up?
” said Millicent. The two of them were sitting cross-legged on Daphne’s bed, having come there straight from the Great Hall after lunch. “With my Seer’s eyes that stare through Time Itself, I saw you
winning
.”

Daphne stared at Millicent, her own merely mortal eyes rather narrowed at the moment. “That boy was
expecting
us.”

“Well, yeah!” said Millicent. “Everyone knows you’re hunting bullies!”

“Hannah got hit by a really painful hex,” Daphne said. “She had to visit a healer, Millicent! If we’re friends you should’ve
warned
me!”

“Look, Daphne, I
told
you -” The Slytherin girl paused, as if trying to remember something, and then said, “I mean, I told you, what I See
has
to come to pass. If I try to change it, if
anyone
tries to change it, really terrible, awful, no good, extremely bad things will happen. And then it’ll come to pass
anyway
. If I See you getting beaten up, I
can’t
tell you that, because then you’d try to
not go
, and
then
-” Millicent stopped.

“And then?” Daphne said skeptically. “I mean, what happens if we just don’t go?”

“I don’t
know!
” said Millicent. “But it probably makes being eaten by Lethifolds look like a tea party!”

“Look, even I know that’s not how prophecies work,” Daphne said, then paused. “At least prophecies don’t work like that in plays…” Admittedly, there were all sorts of tragedies where trying to avoid a prophecy
made
it happen, or where, on the other hand, trying to
go along
with a prophecy was the only reason why it happened. But you
could
make prophecies happen your own way if you were clever enough; or someone who loved you enough could take your place; or with enough effort it was possible to break a prophecy outright… Then again, in plays the Seers never remembered what they Saw, either…

Millicent must have seen Daphne’s hesitation, because the other girl started looking a little more confident. “Well,” Millicent said sharply, “this isn’t a play! Look, I’ll tell you if I See it being a hard battle or an easy one. But that’s
all
I can do, you understand? And if I say ‘hard’ you
can’t
not show up! Or - or -” Millicent’s eyes rolled back in her head, and she intoned hollowly, “
Those who try to cheat their destinies will come to sad and gloomy ends -”

Professor Sprout shook her head, her face looking tight.

“But -” said Susan. “But you helped
Harry Potter
that one time -”

“And it was made
quite clear
to me,” Professor Sprout said in a voice that sounded like someone was using a Shrinking Charm to squeeze her throat, “that it was Professor Snape’s job, and not mine, to keep order in Slytherin House - Miss Bones,
please
, you don’t have to
do
this if -”

“Yes, I
do
have to,” Susan said unhappily. “I’m a Hufflepuff, we have to be loyal.”

“A mysterious parchment under your pillow?” said Harry Potter, looking up from where he was sitting, in the Quieted nook where they were studying. Then the boy’s green eyes narrowed. “It wasn’t from Santa Claus, was it?”

Pause.

“Okay,” said Hermione. “I’m
not
going to ask, and you’re
not
going to tell me, and we’re
both
going to pretend you never said that and I don’t know anything about it -”

Susan approached the table as soon as the older girl was alone, glancing around the Hufflepuff common room to make sure nobody was watching (the way Auntie had taught her to do it, so that it wouldn’t be obvious that she was looking).

“Hey, Susie,” said the seventh-year Hufflepuff. “Do you already need more -”

“Can I please talk to you privately for a bit?” Susan said.

Jaime Astorga, seventh-year of Slytherin, and until recently considered a promising upstart on the youth dueling circuit, stood ramrod straight in Professor Snape’s office, with his teeth clenched tight and sweat trickling down his spine.

“I distinctly recall,” said the Head of his House in a sardonic drawl, “that I warned you, and a number of others this very morning, that there were certain first-year girls who might prove annoying, if a fighter were
incautious
and allowed himself to be
taken by surprise
.”

Professor Snape stalked in a slow circle around him.

“I -” said Jaime, as more sweat beaded on his forehead. He knew how ridiculous it sounded, how much of a pathetic excuse. “Sir, they shouldn’t have been able to -” One first-year-girl shouldn’t have been able to break his
Protego
, no matter what sort of ancient Charm she used - Greengrass must have had
help
-

But it was very clear that his Head of House wouldn’t believe that.

“Oh, I quite agree,” murmured Snape in a low tone, instinct with menace. “They shouldn’t have. I begin to wonder if Mr. Malfoy, whatever his plotting, has a point, Astorga. It cannot be good for the repute of Slytherin’s House if our fighters, rather than demonstrating their strength, lose to little girls!” Snape’s voice had risen. “It is well that you had the good taste to be defeated by a little girl who is a fellow Slytherin of a Noble House, Astorga, or I would deduct points from you myself!”

Jaime Astorga’s fists clenched at his side, but he couldn’t think of a thing to say.

It was some time before Jaime Astorga was allowed to leave the presence of his Head of House.

And afterward, only the walls, the floor, and the ceiling saw Severus Snape’s smile.

That evening Draco was visited by his father’s owl, Tanaxu, who wasn’t green but only because there weren’t such things as green owls. The best Father had been able to find was an owl of the purest silver feathers, with great luminous green eyes, and a beak as sharp and cruel as any snake’s fang. The parchment wrapped around Tanaxu’s leg was short and to the point:

What are you doing, my son?

The parchment that Draco sent back was equally short, and it said,

I am trying to stop harm done to Slytherin’s reputation, father.

In as much time as it took for an owl to fly from Hogwarts to Malfoy Manor and back again, the family owl bore another message to Draco, and this one said only:

What are you really doing?

Draco stared at the parchment he’d unwrapped from the owl’s leg. His hands trembled, as he held up the parchment to the light of his fireplace. Five words, carved in black ink, shouldn’t have been scarier than death.

There wasn’t very much time to think. Father knew exactly how long it took for a message to go from Malfoy Manor to Hogwarts and back again; he would know if Draco delayed to compose a careful lie.

But Draco still waited until his hand stopped trembling, before he wrote his reply, the only answer he’d thought of that Father might accept.

I am preparing for the next war.

Draco wrapped that parchment around the owl’s leg and tied it, and then sent Tanaxu winging out from his room, through the halls of Hogwarts, into the night.

He waited, but no reply came.

The red jet of fire took Hannah full in the face, flipping her end-over-heels and smacking her head straight into the stone wall, where her pale face seemed to linger for an instant, framed by flying strands of brown-golden hair, before she collapsed to the ground in a heap of robes, as the third and final volley of blazing green spirals brought down their foe’s Shield Charm.

The March days marched by, filled with lectures and study and homework, breakfast and lunch and dinner.

The Gryffindor boy stared at the eight of them, tension in every line of his body’s frame, his face working soundlessly; and then his hands released their clenched grasp on the Slytherin boy’s lapels, and he walked away without anyone saying a word. (Well, Lavender almost said a word - her mouth was just opening in indignation, maybe because she hadn’t gotten a chance to declaim her speech - but luckily Hermione spotted it and made the gesture that meant SHUT UP.)

Then there was sleeping, of course. You wouldn’t want to forget about sleeping just because it seemed so normal.

“Innervate!” said the young voice of Susan Bones, and Hermione’s eyes flew open and her lips drew in air with a gasp, her lungs feeling heavy like there was a huge weight resting on her chest. Beside her, Hannah was already sitting up, holding her head in her hands and grimacing. Daphne had warned them that this would be a ‘hard’ fight, creating a certain trepidation in Hermione, and indeed in all of them. Except maybe Susan, who’d just shown up at the appointed meeting-time, and walked alongside them without speaking, and fought the seventh-year bully until she was the last girl standing. Maybe the Gryffindor had been reluctant to fight the last daughter of Bones, or maybe Susan had just gotten very lucky; at any rate, when Hermione had tried to sit up again, she’d realized that her chest had felt heavy because there was, in fact, a rather large body sprawled on top of her.

And you wouldn’t want to forget about magic either, even if the actual moment of casting a spell only formed a very small part of your day. It was the whole point of Hogwarts, after all.

“Okay, how about if we all ride around on skateboards?” said Lavender. “We could get places faster than walking. And we’d look really awesome on skateboards, Muggle artifacts may not be as fast as broomsticks but they look cooler - we should vote on it -”

As for the remaining fractions of time, you would fill that according to your nature: gossip about upper-year romances, or books and study sessions.

Hermione reached out a trembling hand to grasp her copy of
Hogwarts: A History
from where it had fallen, the ever-comforting book only a pace distant from where she herself had ended up on the floor, after the red-robed upper-year girl had “bumped” her into a wall. And then the older Gryffindor witch had walked away without a look back, only a whispered “Salazar’s -” and a word that hurt her more than anything the Slytherins said about mudbloods, ‘mudblood’ was just a strange wizarding word but Hermione knew the word the Gryffindor had said. She couldn’t get used to it, she just couldn’t get used to being hated. It still hurt just as much every time it happened, and somehow it hurt even more coming from the Gryffindors who were
supposed
to be the good ones.

Harry had divided up eight of his soldiers among the other armies, as ordered; he’d voluntarily given up
two
Chaotic Lieutenants, sending Dean Thomas to Dragon Army and then trading Seamus Finnigan to her for Blaise Zabini, who Harry had said was being “underutilized” in Sunshine. Lavender had elected to join most of SPHEW in Sunshine; Tracey had decided to stay with Chaos.

“So you can work your charms on General Potter?” said Lavender, as Hermione ignored both of them as hard as she could. “I’ve got to say, Traces, I think our Sunshine General has him pretty well sewn up by now - you’d have better luck convincing Hermione that the three of you should have one of those, you know, arrangements -”

Nobody had figured out yet what Draco Malfoy was plotting.

“Certain?” said Harry Potter, sounding rather reluctant. “You know a rationalist isn’t ever certain of anything, Hermione, not even that two and two make four. I can’t actually read Malfoy’s mind, and if I could, I couldn’t be certain he wasn’t a perfect Occlumens. All I can say is that based on what I’ve seen of Malfoy, it’s a lot more plausible than Daphne Greengrass thinks, that he actually is trying to show the Slytherins a better way. We should… we really should try to go along with that, Hermione.”

(Well, Harry seemed to think Draco Malfoy was a good guy. But then the trouble was that Harry also tended to trust people like Professor Quirrell.)

“Professor Quirrell,” Harry said, “I’m worried about the hatred Slytherin House seems to be developing for Hermione Granger.”

They were sitting in the Defense Professor’s office, Harry sitting far back from the teacher’s desk (and the sense of pending disaster was still noticeable, even then), the empty bookcase still framing Professor Quirrell’s balding head. The cup balanced on Harry’s thigh was filled with Professor Quirrell’s obscure, probably-expensive Chinese tea, and it said something about the way Harry had been thinking lately that he’d needed to make a conscious decision to drink it.

“And this concerns me for what reason?” said Professor Quirrell, sipping his tea.

“Yes, well,” said Harry, “I’m just going to ignore that - oh, stop that, Professor Quirrell,
you’ve
been plotting to restore Slytherin House’s reputation since at least the first Friday of this year.”

There might have been a tiny crack of a smile, at the edges of those thin pale lips; and then again, there might not have been. “I think Slytherin’s House will do well enough in the end, Mr. Potter, regardless of the fate of one girl. But I do agree that the present outlook is not favorable for your little friend. The bullies of two Houses, many of them with powerful and well-connected families, see Miss Granger as a threat to their reputation and a shame to their pride. As powerful a motive as that is to hurt her, it pales compared to the raw envy of the Gryffindors, who see an outsider gaining the laurels of heroism which they have dreamed of since childhood.” Now the smile on Professor Quirrell’s lips was definite, though slight. “And then there are those of Slytherin House who hear that Salazar Slytherin’s ghost has abandoned them to favor a mudblood. I wonder if you can even conceive, Mr. Potter, of how such as they would react? Those who do not believe it would cheerfully kill Miss Granger for the insult. And as for those Slytherins who wonder deep down, in some quiet place within themselves, if it might perhaps be
true…
their inner panic is something scarcely to be contemplated.” Professor Quirrell sipped his tea equably. “When you are more experienced, Mr. Potter, you will see such consequences in advance of your plotting. As it stands, you are being ill-served by your willful ignorance of all human nature you deem unpleasant.”

Harry sipped his own tea.

“Ah…” said Harry. “Professor Quirrell… help?”

“I already offered Miss Granger my help,” said Professor Quirrell, “as soon as I foresaw what would develop. My student told me, in polite terms, to stay out of her business. Nor would she tell you anything different, I expect. As I have little to truly gain or lose in this matter, I hardly intend to press the point.” The Defense Professor shrugged, his teacup held steady in the exactly-right polite grip, so that the surface of the liquid did not even ripple as Professor Quirrell leaned back within his chair. “Do not worry too much, Mr. Potter. Emotions run high around Miss Granger, but she is in less danger than you might imagine. When you are older, you will learn that the first and foremost thing which any ordinary person does is nothing.”

The envelope which the Slytherin System had delivered to Daphne at lunch was unsigned, as always; the parchment within named a time and a place and said, simply,
“Hard.”

That wasn’t what had concerned Daphne. What had concerned Daphne was that Millicent didn’t seem to be looking in her or Tracey’s direction at lunch that day. She’d just stared straight ahead at her plate and eaten. Millicent had looked up just once that Daphne saw, in the direction of the Hufflepuff table, and then looked quickly back down again; though Daphne was too far away to see the expression on Millicent’s face, since Millicent had sat down far away from her and Tracey.

Daphne had thought about that during lunch, with a sick feeling in her stomach unlike anything she’d felt before, and which had caused her to stop eating halfway through her first plate.

What I See has to come to pass… it probably makes being eaten by Lethifolds look like a tea party…

It wasn’t any conscious decision that Daphne made, nothing like Slytherins were supposed to do, no weighing of the benefits to herself.

Instead -

Daphne told Hannah and Susan and everyone, that her informant had warned her that the next bully was going to target Hufflepuffs in particular, and that the bully planned to risk the teachers’ wrath in order to
really
hurt either Hannah or Susan, like
seriously
, and the two of them needed to stay out of this one.

Hannah had agreed to stay out of it.

Susan had -

“
What are you doing here?
” yelled General Granger, though it was sort of a yell and a whisper at the same time.

Susan’s round face didn’t change, like the Hufflepuff girl had suddenly developed the sort of experienced blankness that Daphne’s own Mother used. “Am I here, really?” Susan said calmly.

“
You said you wouldn’t come!
”

“Did I say that?” said Susan. She flipped her wand casually in one hand, leaning against the stone wall of the corridor where they were waiting, her reddish-brown hair somehow arranging itself in perfect order against the yellow trim of her witch’s robes. “I wonder why. Maybe I didn’t want Hannah to get any strange ideas. Hufflepuff loyalty, you know.”

“If you don’t leave,” said the Sunshine General, “I’ll call a mission abort, and we’ll
all
go back to our study halls, Miss Bones!”

“
Hey!
” said Lavender. “We didn’t vote on -”

“That’s fine by me,” said Susan, who was keeping a steady gaze on the other end of the corridor where it merged into the tiled hallway where they’d been told to expect the bully. “I’ll just stay here myself, then.”

“Why -” said Daphne. Her heart was in her throat.
If I try to change it, if
anyone
tries to change it, really terrible, awful, no good, extremely bad things will happen. And then it’ll come to pass anyway…
“Why are you doing this?”

“It’s not like me,” said Susan. “I know. But -” Susan shrugged. “People don’t always behave like themselves, you know.”

They pleaded.

They begged.

Susan didn’t even say anything anymore, she just kept watching, waiting.

Daphne was nearly crying, she kept wondering if she’d
caused
this, if trying to change Fate was making this happen
worse
-

“Daphne,” said Hermione, her voice sounding much higher than usual, “go get a teacher. Run.”

Daphne spun on her heels and started to pelt down the other direction of the stony corridor, and then she realized, and she turned back to where all the other girls except Susan were watching her go, and Daphne, feeling like she was about to throw up, said, “I can’t…”

“
What?
” said Hermione.

“I think it gets worse every time you try to fight it,” said Daphne. That was how it worked in plays, sometimes.

Hermione stared at her, and then Hermione said, “Padma.”

The other Ravenclaw girl just tore right out of there without arguing. Daphne watched her go, knowing that Padma wasn’t as good a runner as her, and now wondering if maybe that would turn out to be the
only reason
why help would come too late…

“Bullies are here,” Susan said laconically. “Huh, they’ve got a hostage.”

They all whirled, and looked, and saw -

Three
older bullies, Daphne’s eyes recognized Reese Belka who was a top lieutenant in one of the seventh-year armies, and Randolph Lee who was number two in the Hogwarts dueling club, and worst of all, Robert Jugson III, in his sixth year, whose father was almost certainly a Death Eater.

All three were surrounded by Shielding Charms, blue hazes that glowed beneath the surface in ribbons of other color and showed occasional faceting above, multi-layered shields like the three of them thought they were fighting serious duelists and had expended energy accordingly.

And behind them, bound and supported by glowing ropes, was Hannah Abbott. Her eyes were wide and panicked and her mouth was moving, though they couldn’t hear anything through the
Quietus
they’d put up earlier.

Then Jugson made an offhand gesture with his wand, and the glowing ropes flung Hannah at them, there was a small pop as Hannah’s body blew through the Quieting barrier, Susan’s wand was instantly pointing at Hannah and Susan’s voice muttered “
Wingardium Leviosa
” -

“
Run!
” screamed Hannah, as she was gently lowered to the ground.

But the corridor behind them and in front of them was now blocked with a glowing gray field, a barrier spell that Daphne didn’t recognize.

“Do I need to explain what this is about?” Lee said with false joviality. The seventh-year duelist was sporting a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. “Well, just in case, you little inconveniences, and that includes you Miss Greengrass, you’ve been quite enough trouble and you’ve told quite enough lies. We brought your little friend just to make sure everyone knew we got all of you - though I suppose the other Ravenclaw girl is hiding around a corner or clinging to the ceiling somewhere? Well, no matter. This is your -”

“Enough talk,” said Robert Jugson III, “time for pain,” and raised his wand. “
Cluthe!
”

Simultaneously Susan pointed her wand and said “
Prismatis!
” and a small rainbow sphere formed in midair almost instantly, the miniature barrier so condensed and bright that it stayed intact even as Jugson’s hex hit it and bounced off toward Belka, whose wand flashed to swat away the dark bolt; and then a moment later the many-colored blaze was gone.